“It’s Against The Rules!” The One Ridiculous Pet Peeve Every Automotive Journalist Has: Tales From The Slack

Slack Tales Adrian
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I’ve probably said this before, but being an automotive journalist is a supremely weird job. People drop cars off for you to drive. Random cars. Sometimes every week. It’s an entire person’s job to just get cars, gas them up, and drop them for people like me to drive and review. A typical car loan lasts for about a week and then, ideally, an autojournalist writes about the car. It sounds like a dream if you love cars, and it usually is, but it’s easy to get jaded.

Neal Pollack once described automotive journalists as “kobe humans” who get used to being ferried around, filled with rich food, and feted with fancy cars they probably can’t afford. At first, it’s amazing, and most people I think can appreciate it for what it is. Specifically, it should be obvious that this is a privilege and, while you may never earn it, at least you can use the experience as an opportunity to create something valuable for the world. Of course, there are some, in the words of former Texas Governor Ann Richards, who are born on third base and think they hit a triple. They just assume they deserve it. They probably do not.

Press junkets (where they fly you somewhere to drive a car) are the extreme end of this business, but having a $500,000 Rolls-Royce dropped off at your one-bedroom Brooklyn apartment is its own surreal experience. As I write this, I’m waiting for someone to pick up a Volvo I’ll tell you about later.

If you do this long enough, the cars can start to bleed together a little. Sure, the 800 horsepower muscle car feels distinct from the miserly hybrid. The crossovers, though? The crossovers tend to be more alike these the days. There’s a reason why so many autojournalists you know also have weird cars like Mitsubishi Monteros or E39s or old Jeeps or whatever. After a while you gotta feel something, man.

All that being said, jumping from one car to another means having to set up a new car every week. Most car owners don’t think about this. At most, you’re switching cars every three years? Imagine that feeling, 40 times a year.

I actually like this acclimation period and learn a lot about car while it happens. I love to measure how quickly it takes for me to sit in a car and it to feel right. That GR86 I had felt almost immediately comfortable and like my car. Weirdly, for all its extreme power and opulence, the one time I drove a Bugatti Veyron it actually felt pretty normal, too. Some cars take longer. I’ve driven a Morgan 3-Wheeler a few times and that’s never felt normal. The same for the Ariel Atom. That’s kinda the point of those cars.

 

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A lot of autojournalists front, of course. It’s a natural part of the human condition but, basically, few of us are as good at driving as we think we are. For all the talking about wanting real buttons and a perfectly distraction free environment, we all use cars like cars, and enjoy some level of comfort (even David).

We’re in a period of time where CarPlay (or Android Auto) is fairly common on new cars. It works. It works so well. It’s not even that complex of a system or that great of an interface. It’s just easy and familiar which, for driving, is helpful. Most cars you can get now have wireless CarPlay, but not all, and it’s completely random.

Slack Tales Carplay 2

A little Hyundai Venue? You can get wireless CarPlay. A big fancy Volvo S60 Recharge like the one I have? Nope! It’s just plugging in your phone. It’s not at all a big deal. Who cares, right? For some reason, this is the biggest and most frequent complaint I get from fellow car writers. You’ll go: “Hey, how’s the new Venturi Speederdemon? That 9,000 horsepower must be cool?”And they’ll respond: “Yeah, I guess, but there’s no wireless CarPlay bro?” And then it’s like someone took a dump in the car. It’ll never be the same again.

Personally, I don’t care that much, though it is amusing to me how widespread a complaint that it is. And guess what? It showed up in Slack, just today!

It’s universal, I guess, as this equally impacts automotive journalists on each side of the Atlantic Ocean.

[Editor’s Note: I’m going to get to the bottom of this wireless/wired Car Play thing. There’s got to be some dumb technical reason, like the SCSI interface Car Play likely uses doesn’t have a proper terminator installed. Stay tuned! – JT]

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42 thoughts on ““It’s Against The Rules!” The One Ridiculous Pet Peeve Every Automotive Journalist Has: Tales From The Slack

  1. I was going through Tales From The Slack from before I became a member so I’m months late to this one

    Hey Adrian, thanks for the indirect pointer to the Gothic Industrial Music podcast.

  2. I’ll shut up about this soon (hopefully) but every third article by Jason (or editor’s note, as in this case) reminds me that my DNA is not unique. Not only do I have a well-filled box of SCSI terminators in my workshop, Per his mention yesterday about that Indian EV city car that had a claimed range of 143 miles, I also have a small steel file cabinet filled with 5.25″ DOS 3.3 143K-capacity formatted floppies full of programs for Apple ][ computers, even though I sadly haven’t had a working Apple ][ in a couple decades at least.

  3. Nothing like reading a 4×4 review from someone who only off roads on press launches reaching definitive conclusions about capability while complaining about an infotainment system.

    1. I think you’re confusing me with someone who off roads only on press launches, as I’ve never off roaded in my life (or been on a press launch).

  4. I feel like the only person who never really uses CarPlay outside of longer road trips. Going into East Texas? Sure, let me project Waze up there to see the speedtraps. Any other time, just around town? Nah. I always feel like I have to do it in reviews just to confirm, yeah, that exists, and then I end up turning Bluetooth back off because it’s a dumb battery-suck.

    Also, to wit: My Lancer had a parasitic draw a while ago that was killing ITS battery, too, and lo and behold, it was a failing Bluetooth module I never used. Eat turds, Bluetooth. Seriously, how has no one come up with a better wireless protocol yet?

  5. It’s a conspiracy to make Android Automotive head units more acceptable to the marketplace.

    (Srsly, ppl, getting rid of CarPlay and Android Auto is a good thing)

  6. In many cases I prefer wired CarPlay because usually you just plug it in and it works- no setup, no waiting for the Bluetooth to connect, etc. what I find annoying is (rental) cars where I have had to still setup the wireless after plugging in – kinda defeats one of the two benefits of plugging in (power, connection). After a long flight the phone has no power and I need to plug in anyways- wireless charging does not like to work through my phone case.

  7. “Thank you for reading The Autopian! If you’re seeing this text it means this content is for official members only. If you want to experience this automotive goodness, please consider supporting us by becoming a member. Thank you very much!”

  8. I have wireless CarPlay, and have no idea how it decides when to connect or disconnect, or anything really.

    After trying to use it one time when I first got it, I’ve just given up and stuck with the USB cable.

  9. The stupid part is, you plug your phone in to use CarPlay AND THEN IT’S CHARGING VIA THE USB! The whole wireless charging is FUCKING POINTLESS!

    1. My 2022 model year vehicle has the same setup – wired-only Carplay and Android Auto, but also a wireless charging pad in the center console. To really push the disappointment, the wireless charging pad is only large enough to fit an iPhone 4, which means I have yet to find a phone that has wireless charging that also fits.

  10. My 911 at least reminds me if a device was connected to take it with me after opening the driver’s door. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left the damn phone in the Buick SUV (almost every drive because it too has wireless charging but wired CarPlay – what’s the point of that?).

  11. I do hope that if it’s a SCSI terminator issue then automakers have at least moved past the old Centronics-50 connector of SCSI-2 to the 68 pin of Wide SCSI-2 and beyond. After all, the bandwidth difference is noticeable. 🙂

    Nice oblique tech reference Jason!

  12. The more wireless BS you install in your car the higher the opportunity for some hacker to sneak in unlock, start and steal it. And while it is funny when it happens to someone else not when it happens to you. I plan on buying a cell phone charger for my car next week. First high tech item going in my 2001. I bought new in 2002

  13. While I use CarPlay and think it’s fine, I’m to the point where I’m so f’n sick of hearing about it that I sort of hate it.

    Maybe this is what GM was thinking when they made their announcement.

    1. I think the thing is, it’s a constant across cars. Like, I have it in the Range Rover but then I can jump in the Ferrari and I’m using the same navigation on my phone.

      Having had the Juke last week and now the Kia, it’s clear there is still a wide variance across OEMs as to how good their infotainment UX/UI is.

  14. I’m struck by how Adrian’s actual voice sounds way much more upbeat than I’d imagined.

    In my mind, I kinda hear him sounding like Dave Lister on Red Dwarf, just ranting darkly about cars instead of whatever Rimmer’s done to the ship’s computer.

    1. Even knowing he’s full Brit and being familiar with UK accents (yay Red Dwarf!), I never read him as anything but American, and affectless at that. What a treat to hear his words in his voice! I think the whole blog should have audio. I would love to hear Torch read his rants out loud replete with spit takes. Look into it Matt, I bet you could ring a few extra bucks out of us (that sounds cynical, but I’d happily match my wife’s phone game budget)!

      1. Ha! I try to type in American to save whoever has to edit my utter bollocks some work. I kinda learnt to do that for my column for the insurance company, because the audience there skews a little…..more mature and less worldly shall we say.

  15. My favorite part of this site is the whack job interesting personalities. I like imagining PG & Hardigree as the orderlies in white coats trying to keep the asylum clean.

  16. My 2020 Voyager has wired Android Auto. I was sort of caught off-guard when I learned that I needed to connect via USB to use it. Seems tremendously stupid. I only use it on major trips where I absolutely need navigation because of it.

  17. I’ve been told that it is harder to license wireless AA/CP on cars with built-in nav, which seems weird. But it jives with what I’ve seen with Kiundai putting wireless versions on low trims and wired on the higher trims (with their charging pads).

  18. From talking with other people (it happens occasionally), it appears that I’m one of the few who actually like driving in silence. If I don’t need nav and I’m not on a call, it’s just me and my thoughts rolling along in near-silence. It’s nice.

    On the priority list, entertainment options rank somewhere below the configuration of the fuel filler cap.

    1. I completely agree. I want to hear my car and my surroundings. My partner and I drove 6,000 miles last year and spent the time talking to each other. It was a perfect antidote to our usual busy social lives.

    2. I can’t remember the last time I needed to use a navigation system. I look at a map before I go and that’s never failed me to date. I keep the radio off the entire drive.

  19. If I’m remembering it correctly Hyundai will give you wireless Car Play/Android Auto but if you want wireless charging then you can only get wired Car Play/Android Auto. I don’t care for wireless charging but I just find it weird that that’s how it can be optioned. I figure it’s a module or something but it’s still weird.

    1. Yeah, the high trims don’t do wireless. It’s something to do with the infotainment system with the built-in nav. And you are right that the wireless pad/wireless AA/CP mismatch is weird.

  20. I believe wireless CarPlay requires a WiFi network inside the car. Bluetooth simply doesn’t have the bandwidth to carry all the graphical goodness.

    1. It requires that, but that isn’t necessarily enough to make it work. In Kiundai vehicles, you can get wireless on the low trims, but not the trims with nav built in. Both have wifi, so they should be capable. I’ve heard licensing, but weird module interactions seem just as likely.

  21. Car Play has a few years before it gets relegated to the cheap crap I’m used to. I was more pissed at the elimination of the headphone jack in my phone- I can’t even use an aux-in. I saw some burnable CDs on the marketplace recently- maybe I’ll make mixes again.

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