Jason is in the hospital recovering from an Aortic Dissection, a condition in which “a tear occurs in the inner layer of the large blood vessel branching off the heart,” as St. Clair Hospital’s website puts it. It’s a serious thing, and we are so grateful Jason’s wife Sally told him to call an ambulance immediately when he told her about his chest pain. Jason was rushed to the hospital, which is just a stone’s throw away from his house, and is now healing. He’s still feeling some pain and dealing with all sorts of post-op discomfort, but not enough to keep him from THANKING YOU ALL for your support.
If you’ve been watching Jason at Jalopnik and now here on The Autopian, usually driving some crazy old car or telling you some wacky thing about a taillight, then the video below is probably going to make you feel a lot of emotions. It certainly had that effect on me, because Jason is the craziest, most amped-up, wackiest, most fun human being I’ve ever known, and to see that fun have to be throttled back because his body won’t cooperate…it’s a little tough to see. The world is a better place when Jason Torchinsky can truly be himself, which is to say UNHINGED; he’s healing, and will undoubtedly return to that nominal state, but there’s a bit of a battle ahead still. You can see in Jason’s video here that, though he’s still dealing with that battle, he’s doing well enough to thank you all for your support and to suddenly transform into his usual self when he’s being silly and talking about a scar:
Jason, who is a bit short of breath and down on energy (he has hiccups that are causing pain in his ribs, which had to be broken for the operation) starts the video with: “Hi everybody, I just wanna say thank you all so much for all the support and everything everybody’s done in reaching out. It means so much to me. This is not a great plan I had, but it is what it is. And I’ll be back as soon as I can, and just thank you!”
Then comes some sort of transformation in which he gains enough energy to re-enter full Torch mode for a few seconds: “Oh yeah and check out this badass scar, that’s pretty good. They cut open my STERNUM. Sounds crazy, but I just appreciate everybody’s support and reaching out, it means a lot to me, so thank you everybody.”
Since the video was shot, Jason’s wife Sally told me that Torch, unable to resist his calling in life, is considering blogging about the amber reflectors on his walker — reflectors that he finds funny, as they seem to imply some kind of highway capability:
Anyway, Jason wants to say thanks to all of you. Fellow industry colleagues, friends, readers, other publications (I’ll just note that Jalopnik’s tweet was classy). Thank you to Thad for starting the Torch Medical Fund on GoFundMe (Sally told me she’s had so many folks ask how they can help, she created this “Jason’s Coming Home From The Hospita” Amazon registry. If you want to help in any way, you’re welcome to contribute to either of those two, but there’s no obligation at all. Your kind words mean so much to Jason).
It’s a trying time for us here at The Autopian, and even more of a trying time for Jason and his family. But we also realize how much of a trying time this might be to many of you, dear readers. When you spend over a decade reading someone’s every word and following them on social media, it’s hard not to build a bond with them. I often think of writing as a porthole into one’s soul, and once you read enough of someone’s words, you really feel like you get them. Like you know them. Jason has touched the lives of hundreds of thousands of people with his work, and you should all know that as much as he means to you, you mean just as much to him. You’re the reason he has continued to do what he does for over a decade. So thank you! From the bottom of Jason’s humongous, patched-up heart whose sound confused the doctor when they first listened to it. “Uh, your heart…it sounds… is that the click of a turn signal’s thermal flasher relay?”
Jason: “Wait, they’re not all like that?”
Well Jason this is definitely something that makes you feel mortal and sad. And from my experience the only way to start feeling better is to remember “boobies”
Quite possibly the best advice I’ve ever read on any car-related website. 🙂
Yeah but ou can bet I don’t get COTD. LOL
Torch, take it easy but push through the pain to use the spirometer and move as much as you can stand it. Our automotive lives depend on yours!
Seems like a lot of folks around me are getting to the age where they need to use walkers, but this is the first time I’ve seen one with reflectors! This could be an upgrade that would make all of the assisted living residents jealous…
Oh geez SCARY! Get well real soon, Jason!
David, thank you for the update. Jason, hope your recovery amazes the experts. Sally and Otto, may his return home be smooth and comfortable. And to all at The Autopian: thank you for keeping on, and for your devotion to Jason (and the site). Wishing you all peace.
Jason, you’re not alone! When I was a teenager I had what they called a “floppy valve”, which caused my heart to make a clicking at times, usually when I was lying on my back. I could feel it and anyone listening to my chest could hear it. It did sound a bit like a relay!
Fortunately I grew out of it, as the doctors said I would.
And you’ve told us this before IIRC, right? I bet you never thought you’d get not one but two chances to amaze us with how deeply your enthusiasm runs… 😉
Look on the positive side. This was a better way to go to the hospital than jumping Devil’s Canyon in the Changli. Wishing you a mostly painless recovery.
Here’s hoping for a quick and full recovery, but take all the time you need Torch, we need your funny articles as antidotes to dreary office life and we need them for a long and healthy time so recovery comes first ! Also, give your family and friends lots of cuddles. Here’s one from Belgium !
Hoping for a quick recovery! My wife was told 1 year when she had open-heart surgery.
DT- Before that raggedy scar heals up, can’t you get in there and install a ODB2 port? Gotta be a youtube tutorial for that somewhere. With it, we can keep the flow of our critical taillight data in the pipeline uninterrupted.
Best wishes and prayers Torch. God bless.
Use your spirometer A LOT, yeah your chest hurts. Use the dang spirometer!!!
Get well Jason
Hang in there Torch! Your aorta tried to do you dirty, so now you know to keep an eye on that rat bastard from now on.
Also, from the GoFundMe, “Since starting this fundraiser, I have realized that his recovery will overlap the calendar year and that his claim started more than 30 days before the new year, thus being ineligible for deductible carryover. This means he and his family will take two hits from deductibles and coinsurance.”
Fuck the health insurance industry.
Jason,
I mean this with all the love one can have for another human they’ve never met:
“You look like shit!”
Seriously though, you probably feel like you’ve been run over by a truck. Hopefully it was one with cool vintage taillamps.
Okay, even more seriously: I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery. Happy Hanukkah and may you return better than ever.
PS: They should have taken the opportunity to install a reactor in your chest so you can plug into your navel and recharge your Changli. We could call you the Six Shekel Man!
I have taught my kids about the wonderful works of Jason and David, and you two even appear in my dreams sometimes 😎
But please do take your time to recover with no stress, Jason. We’ll just reread some of your old stuff if we miss you too much (heart emoji)
Good to see you again at least,get better soon.
Shut up and get better Torch.
Jason, I can’t tell you how much respect I have for a guy who addresses his readership from his post-op bed, when so many others in your position hide in silence behind privacy claims. This amazing open attitude toward people is what sets you and David apart, and why readers like me will follow wherever you go. Hoping to see you back to your usual self soon, for you and your family’s sake.
Good to see you’re alive and on the mend!!
Now–whatever your docs say about being off work and away from stress: they’re right. Do what they say. If I see a cold start or an article about tail lights or a 3,000-word exegesis of some arcane Panhard brochure, under whatever nom de plume you come up with like Jonas Stinkychor or whatever, I’m sending Elon to your house to deploy full-self-driving on that walker.
Give yourself time to recover!!
Oof! I recognize that scar, Sir. I have one myself. The recovery from having your ribs opened up is a long, tedious one. but it beats the alternative. The upside is that whenever you have a chest X-ray you can point to that cool, stainless steel band and say, “Nothing but the best!” That last deer you hit tried to break your heart, but it missed it by that much. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
A friend of the family had similar surgery and was confused and delighted to discover that for a few months post-surgery, they constantly found themselves making random clicking and popping noises as their ribs wiggled around. Unfortunately, their game of “dude, listen to this!” ended soon afterwards, but it was an amusing pastime during initial recovery.
Most important thing is to keep those tires rolling. The first few weeks can be brutal, but doing slow laps around the living room with the training wheels is key. After that, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Jason felt better than he did before. Fresh water pump and gasket (for both of you!), after all. 🙂
Here’s to a speedy recovery, Jason!
Doctor: uh, your heart….. it sounds like…. 0.0?
“Jason: “Wait, they’re not all like that?”
He, he ! Hilarious!
Jason: “The Man “. “/
Bless you, Jason and best wishes for you ❤️.
Bengt
Jason, glad to see you’re making progress on the road to recovery. Recovery sucks, but it sucks far less than the alternative. Take your time getting better and, as Tom Bodett says, we’ll keep the light on for you.
Torch. Do take it easy and follow medical advice. I had my own serious heart issues over twenty years ago and reasonably good compliance with medical advice has kept me going this long.
One of the things I got by surviving this long is the pleasure of meeting you once. If you take care of yourself, you will, no doubt, get many similar pleasures.
Good to see him making progress!
As for the pain remember, this too shall pass.
Here’s to a rapid recovery.
I haven’t much to give except a good hospital bed book recommendation.
“Solutions and Other Problems”
by Allie Brosh.
Though maybe you should wait till your ribs heal to read it. It’s pretty funny.
+1!
Allie Brosh is my spirit animal. She’s a heartwarming delight and the books are the cheapest form of genuine useful therapy you could possibly find.
Well said.
Jason, I am glad you got to the hospital in time. We need more articles on obscure VW variants from small markets!