A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
A recall of Fords.
A Wuiver of Javelins
Quiver. How come I got no edit button?
Oops, now I do.
You mean quiver? Javelins to big for that but are there any arrow cars?
Javelins are carried in quivers, but, yes there was a Plymouth Arrow.
There was also a range of Pierce Arrows in the 1920s and 1930s.
@tacotruckdave Pierce Arrow
A Sally of Mustangs
A manslaughter of Mustangs (since murder has been taken by the crows)
A many of Minis
A jail of Jaguars (it’s the villain’s car, right?)
A lea of Land Rovers
A sea of Discoveries
A jorts of Corvettes
An innie of Audis
A finite of Infinitis
A Mjolnir of Volvos
I chortled most heartily at “a manslaughter of Mustangs” and “an innie of Audis,” well played
You used ChatGPT for this, didn’t you?
I’m thinking Satan’s cabbage.
A Penthouse of Volvos
See, i was trying to decide between:
I vote box.
A Bullseye of Darts
A Danger of Nissan Altimas
A Hurry of Grand Caravans (in my neck of the woods they are perpetually doing 15 over with significant dents on at least two panels)
I think an affliction of Vegas works better.
they were a cheap car poorly executed, so I think affliction fits well
A sidewalk of Ford Mustangs
A reef of Nissan Altimas (since their credit scores are under water)
An assembly of Honda Civics
A transmission of Nissan Altimas
I feel like “a curse of Altimas” works. There are, after all, multiple points of failure in that car, one of which is behind the wheel.
A corral of mustangs
A school of barracudas
An atom of Teslas
A herd of broncos
A posse of wranglers
A web of spiders
A coil of teslas
A den of cobras
A coven of anything soccer moms drive
A passe of camaros
A quarter of liberties
A colonoscopy of probes
A herd of Taurus tauruses, tauri?
A bowl of Pintos
A fritata of miatas
A shell of Tacos (tacomas)
A Superfluity of Avalanches
I’ve got a few more that I didn’t get submitted in time (being that the discussion happened at 4am Sydney time):
A Motherhood of Toyota Klugers
A Crack of Mitsubishi Tritons (some were prone to cracking the chassis under heavy towing)
An Orphanage of Leyland P76s
An Oversteer of Australian Valiant Chargers
A Confusion of Ssanyongs
An Albatross of Citroen CXs (sorry Fingers!)
A Miracle of Ford Cortinas (rarely see more than one a year now thanks to rust)
A Slide of Nissan Silvias
A Warrant of Chrysler 300Cs (they were our Highway Patrol cars until recently)
A Hoard of Holden Monaros ($$$)
A Slingshot of Holden Toranas (after their Bathurst victory in ’72 vs the ‘Goliath’ GTHO Falcons)
A Flash of Dual-Cab Landcruisers ($$$)
Almost forgot: A Jamboree of Suzuki Mighty Boys
A Dojo of Nissan Kicks
A Debt of Landcruiser Saharas
A Round-Yard of Subaru Brumbies
From how they appear to me, it’s always seemed like a Kicks of Nissan Jukes.
Edit: or the other way round works too!
A Confusion of Ssangyongs is pure gold.
A douchebag of lifted trucks.
Deuchbags really are the heart and soul of porches.
A lap-pinky of lifted trucks? A departed wheel of lifted trucks?
A President of Lincolns.
A Lode of Silverados.
A Thunder of Lightnings (F150)
An Absolute Unit of Mazdas MPV
A Pentagon of Mazdas CX-5
A World of VWs Atlas
A booth of Lincolns.
…What?! *ducks tomatoes*
A dynasty of Toyota Crowns
An age of Toyota Centuries
A skid of Mustangs
I was thinking “a curb of Mustangs” but wanted to remain positive. 🙂
With apologies:
A Theft of Kias
A Shagging of Sprinters
A Rollover of Wranglers
A Tracy of Rustbuckets
I was leaning towards a Tracy of XJs but rustbuckets is a clear alternate descriptor.
I’ll allow it. 🙂
Also…
A school of Barracudas
A school of [Ford] Prefects
A barrel of Coopers
A river of Fords
A Jane of Austins (yes, I know it’s Austen for her)
A judge of utes (in honor of Judge Chamberlain Haller)
A Basket of VW Cabrios
A Club of Golfs
A Rust of Jeeps owned by David Tracy
A Shock of Changlis
A Crop of Cars.
A spaghetti shower of taillights.
A tow-load of Jaguars
A sewer of shitboxes