A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
A Convent of Camry’s.
This is too fun.
A Kennel of Rovers
Brilliant.
A Caper of Coopers
A Jug of Thunderbirds
A Common of Odyssey’s
A Magnum of Ferraris
Counterpoint: a Crockett of Ferraris.
Bueller, Bueller?
A solipsism of Cybertrucks.
A vapor of Cybertrucks?
A Service of BMWs
A Bed of Bugeyes
A tickle of Isettas (can also be applied to Berkeleys and ChangLis)
A Luck of Ladas
A Kunststofffantastisch of Trabants
A web of (Fiat) Spiders
A grand of Canyoneros
A cul-de-sac of Suburbans
An alliance of Renaults
A jerk store of Escalades
This is my favorite, just b/c you brought jerk store back. We’d been fresh out.
Mang FTW
A flaccidity of Porsches.
An Eternity of Binkies.
Not sure there will ever be a group of these as the original will have been longer in the making than two world wars at this point
” a Compromise of Corrolas and a Desperation of Daewoos” So fricken funny.
Insults that happen to be true are and always will be the best form of humor
A Dork of Daewoo?
An Apathy of Corollas? They are for the people who think a Camry is too big.
A gridlock of Cruises
A brothel of Escorts
An oxymoron of Dodge Rams
A couple of suggestions for edits:
A skirt of Minis
An excentrique of Citroëns
And a couple of new ones too:
A sputtering of Berkeleys
An appropriation of Cherokees
A hat-full of Bowlers (a bit obscure, but it’s right there for the taking)
A purr of Jags (on the rare occasions when you see more than one running at the same time)
A dollar of Sentras
A flight of Pilots
A tow of Volkswagens
One more, with credit to Steve Magnante: A Cup of Supras
A Spot of G-Wagons
Are we sure those exist? I heard they were vaporware.
A Vista of Vues
A warmth of Lucas electronics
A Gouging of Broncos.