A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
I would have gone with ‘a crash of Mustangs,’ not because they’re anything like rhinos, but because we’ve all seen the memes and the numerous ‘Mustang leaves Cars & Coffee, what happens next will (not) surprise you’ videos.
A crash of Mustangs just sounds right…
A Mercedes of Smarts
A David of Heap Jeeps
A Jason of Chang Lis
A drift (like snowdrift) of 240SX’s
A wedge of <insert angular 1980’s coupe or hatchback with popup headlights>
A nap of Z’s
A repo of Altimas
An entitlement of Audis
Any grouping of ’60s/’70s full-size sedans is a flotilla
Can someone explain a Stereo of Jukes? I don’t get it.
Jukebox – In my day you put in a quarter and got to pick 2 songs. Like streaming, but with real records.
A Shock of EVs
A quill of BMWs (Because quills are pricks!)
A smog of diesels.
A fortune of Fortwos
A tale of tail lights
The Jason Torchinsky story
A slumber of Zs
A Rubik of Cubes
A quarry of Cobalts
Please, make it stop.
This is all I can think about in traffic now, and I drive for a living.
You can’t just plant a seed like this in an obsessive persons brain.
I never thought there would be a day when I appreciated number and alphabet soup model names so much.
(Oh no…)
A lexicon of Lexus
(Sigh)
An algebra of Infiniti
(Yawn)
A hubris of G-Wagens
(sarcasm)
A tonnage of Escalades
I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight.
A pilgrimage of Land Rovers
(Uuuuuggh)
There is no anti-venom for this particular bite of brain worm. Speaking of anti-venom..
A Medusa of Vipers
A basket of Cobras
(No more. I can’t take it. Please help?)
A crisis of Corvettes
A rue Yugos
A brawl of Mustangs
(Particularly fourth gen)
A scream of Eagles
A quiver of Canyoneros
Oh bother…
A messung of Beetles
Stop it!
Sorry.
*A rue of Yugos
Stop it.
Go sell your “Stop it.” at the jerk store.
*”Stop it”
A pocketful of Paos
A snack of Minis
A Zora of Corvettes
I’ll show myself out.
A Reformatory of Hellcats
A Haven of Volvos
A harem of (Mazda) Laputa
A herd of Mustangs
A flock of Thunderbirds
A class of Civics
A pair of (Mercedes) Uhlenhaut Coupés
A Pando of (Dodge) Aspen
I can’t turn it off. Make it stop.
My wife suggested:
An exuberance of utes.
Er.. Utefull exuberance.
A triumvirate of Triumphs
A Zodiac of Taurii…
A Muscle of Mustangs
A Cargo of Camaros
A Wrath of Wranglers
A Mass of Minivans
A Fuck-ton of F-150s
a Cruise of Mavericks