Let’s try something just a bit different today, because it’s cold and gray out and the year is almost over and maybe sometimes it just feels good to do something together, right? So let’s do that! Let’s look at one of these old brochure pictures and the human figures within it, and imagine, with our pulpy, damp brains, what those people might perhaps be saying, trying to forget that the people shown in this nearly 60-year-old brochure are very likely now dead. So, off we go!
I’ll get us started. Here’s what I imagine is being said:
“Hey, baby, be a doll and cover me while I take a leak into this birdbath.”
or perhaps
“This has nothing to do with my fear of ivy. I just prefer to enjoy this party outside, smoking and clutching this birdbath. Now stand between me and the ivy that’s trying to kill me.”
or even
“I bet they’ll let us back in soon. I just think if Danielle didn’t want people immersing their arms in the clam dip up to the elbow, she could have said something instead of being such a bitch about it.”
You know, like that, but better. Would it help if you had a better idea of what a 1964 Singer Vogue was engineered? Here you go:
There, I bet that helps!
Whenever I see old brochures like this, part of me wants to be in it for some reason. The mysterious vibe of what the heck are these people doing, the mysterious and intriguing yet inviting location which may or may not be a party, the mint condition random old car that seemingly has absolutely nothing to do with the scene but is just sort of… there… and not even in a normal parking space either, just out in the middle of a courtyard or field or by the pool or whatever.
I want to party with the kinds of people who park 1964 Singer Vogues in the courtyard outside the classy mysterious party manor and have inexplicable bird bath drama! Is that normal? I don’t know, but they look like they have interesting lives and I want in on it.
But I didn’t lie when I said I would have you in Vogue.
That’s not what I meant when I said, “Hold my hair back, Estabon.”
“Please forgive me, baby.Next time I swear I’ll remember to wear the green pocket square.”
What?! You promised me a hummer, not a Humber!
See, I told that this was really large vibrator. Ymmmm. Can even use with clothes on, and built for two!
“Just pee in it. You have to go, no one’s looking, who cares?”
Now Mitt, we both know you were being misleading when you said your family had more green than the bank.
Jason: “Look, if I promise to stop talking about taillights will you please get back in the car?”
Honey… I just assumed Kermit was going to move.
“Everybody in the party can see where your hand is, you know.”
Lady in pink dress: “Not going to happen tonight, Nigel. I thought you said you were a swinger, not that you drove a Singer. Now where did that guy with the E-Type slip off to?”
I don’t know Ivy, becoming a villain to fight Batman seems like a huge career change.
“Darling turn around and check out my *woodpecker*” ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Don’t turn around, but the car is back again
The Singer Vogue was rather chuffed on how well Basil’s plan had worked out. Basil had arranged for the valet parkers to place it in the garden and set the horn to short out during Charades (which was easy to do because the electrics were made by Lucas). He then took Daphne into the garden and repaired the short. While resting his hand on the birdbath, Basil whispered into Daphne’s ear his undying devotion to her and asked her to marry him. She nodded yes and quickly kissed him. The Vogue then dreamed of carrying the two to a quaint hotel in the Lake District with “Just Married” sign on the boot.
Richard:
Look Meredith, I promise you I had absolutely no idea this was going to be a “key party”.
We really should do the polite thing, just get back in there, and go with it. C’mon, it’ll be fun, right?
Meredith:
It’s not that, Richard,. I just don’t want anyone else to see how ugly our car is with that horrible green paint you insisted on. I wanted the coral pink, you idiot.
“You can’t win me over with a green car Jerry. Either the bird bath goes or I go!”
“You don’t love me Todd. You’re just after my family’s lime fortune.”
“And this, my dear is why the first Earl named this place “Coppafeel Hall”.
COTD
You see that too?
What is Mitt Romney doing in an old Singer Vogue brochure?
“How green was my valley? So green that it appears Swamp Thing has taken it over.”
When I said I was going home with the Singer, I meant the car baby, I swear!
“I thought they would be impressed that I drove up the steps, but instead they’re being all dramatic about it. Now listen, when the police arrive, tell them you were driving. I might have imbibed just a little before we left home.”
No, it’s NOT an Aston Martin. I told you my name is Bound – James Bound. It’s not my fault you misunderstood me. Now, are we going to your place, or not?