Good morning, Autopians! Today’s Showdown is a study in ranged weapons, from the good folks at the corporation formerly known as Chrysler. We’ve got an old-school rear-drive captive import, and the sexiest K-car ever made. It’s gonna–hey, where are you going? Come back! No, really. It’s gonna be great.
Naming a car is a tricky business, which may be why automakers have nearly abandoned the practice in favor of cryptic alphanumeric nomenclature that no one except the marketing department really understands, or cares about. Great car names are evocative: Mustang, Charger, Tempest, Javelin, Blazer, and so forth. And they needn’t be aggressive to be effective: Sprite and Miata are cute little names for cute little cars. Perfect cars for driving in the city? Try a Civic or a Metro. Compare those to FX45 or BZ4X or M340i or whatever – which would you rather tell people you drive?
That brings us to today’s choices. If you have a straightforward little car that always hits the target dead-center, call it an Arrow. If you want to tell people your new car is high-tech and futuristic, Laser is the perfect name… or at least it was in the mid-1980s. But before we get to those, I guess we should finish up with yesterday’s open-source engines:
Twice the cylinders, twice the votes, it seems. Having briefly owned examples of both, and worked on many more of each over the years, I have to side with the Chevy folks. Air-cooled VWs are cool, but my heart belongs to V8s, and the good old SBC (and its successor, the LS) is always welcome in my garage.
All right. Let’s look at some cars named after shooty things.
1976 Plymouth Arrow 200 – $3,200
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0 liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Sammamish, WA
Odometer reading: 122,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs, but has been sitting for years
After a few failed experiments with various Rootes Group vehicles, Chrysler settled on its Japanese partner Mitsubishi for its captive imports. This sleek little coupe was known as the Mitsubishi Lancer Celeste in its homeland. It’s powered by Mitsubishi’s two-liter four, a chain-driven overhead cam engine with Mitsubishi’s “MCA-Jet” emissions control system, consisting of an extra tiny intake valve for each cylinder to lean out the mixture, one of many strategies tried by automakers in the ’70s to meet new requirements.
In the case of this little gold Arrow, that engine drives the rear wheels through a three-speed automatic. Yeah, I know. It has been sitting for a long time; the seller has brought it back to life, but there’s still a lot of work to be done before it’s roadworthy. It has a tick from the top end of the engine, which is likely a valve out of adjustment. You all remember how to adjust valves, right?
Cosmetically, it’s in remarkable shape. Japanese imports from the ’70s were reliable, but they tended to rust if you breathed on them too hard; in climates with any weather whatsoever, a lot of them simply dissolved. The fact that this one has survived with only a little bubbling on the hood means that it was probably parked inside, and didn’t see any winters.
The stock Arrow might not be a performance car, especially this one with an automatic, but its sleek (by 1970s standards) body shape became very popular with drag racers. Small, lightweight, and already rear-wheel-drive, the Arrow was a natural choice for quarter-mile shenanigans. With so few left, I can’t decide if it would be a shame if someone turned this one into a drag car, or the absolute perfect use for it.
1985 Chrysler Laser XT – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.2 liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Weed, CA
Odometer reading: 86,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep!
A tip of the hat to Sam Blockhan on Opposite Lock for pointing this one out to me. This is a car I know well, because I used to own one, just about like this, in fact, except mine was brown. This rare sister model to the Dodge Daytona existed for only three model years, from 1984 to 1986, and was dropped when Chrysler’s own LeBaron was restyled in 1987. The Laser was a fancier, more luxurious version of the Daytona, with nicer interior appointments and a different rear spoiler. This XT model was the top of the line, and an exceptionally rare car – only 3,452 Laser XTs were built in 1985.
Chrysler threw every trick, gimmick, and option in the book at this car. It has a digital dashboard with full instrumentation, a trip computer, an electronic message center with a synthesized voice (the one in my ’84 Laser XE was affected with a sort of automotive Tourette’s syndrome – it would randomly speak various messages), power-adjustable Recaro seats with inflatable lumbar supports, and of course Chrysler’s 2.2 liter Turbo I engine, here paired with a three-speed Torqueflite automatic.
This one runs and drives just fine, with only 86,000 miles on the clock. It was apparently the seller’s mother’s pride and joy, and the family has been taking it for a spin around the block to keep the juices flowing. It needs new tires – they’re probably wildly out of date – but other than that, it sounds like it’s in fantastic shape.
It sure looks great. This has always been one of my favorite body styles of its era, and I think it still holds up today. Like Camaros, Firebirds, and Mustangs, Daytonas and Lasers too often got beaten to death by “enthusiastic” owners; I know mine was pretty rough around the edges by the time I got it. This one is a bit dull and faded, but I bet it would shine up all right. I’ll tell you one thing: if I had a place to put it, I might very well make a trip down to northern California to check it out.
These two sporty coupes are all but extinct, and we won’t see the likes of them again. But if these two are out there, just waiting to be put back on the road, there must still be others. If you want a sporty two-door, you may have to dig a little, but they’re out there. Yes, these are both automatics, but if you simply must shift your own gears, either one can be swapped to a manual. So what’ll it be: the rear-drive Arrow, or the turbocharged Laser?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I had to vote for the Daytona. It’s pure high school nostalgia for me.
“ Me and my Arrow
Taking the high road
Wherever we go
Everyone knows
It’s me and my Arrow”
I haven’t been able to get this Harry Nilsson song out of my head all day. Plymouth used it in Arrow commercials, but I remember it from the animated special “The Point.” Oblio, The Boy Without a Point, was voiced by Dustin Hoffman. Looong time ago.
My brother’s first car was a 4 speed manual Plymouth Arrow. I had to drive it a couple of times. What I remember is that the difference between 1st and 2nd was damn near indiscernible. It wasn’t particularly fun and I don’t find it particularly attractive. So given both of the vehicles are autotragic, I’m paying the extra $300 for the prettier one.
AROOOOOOOOOW!
Too bad they are both old fashioned automatics.
At least the Arrow has the 2.0, though the 2.6 Fire Arrow and Turbo Laser are the more sought-after versions.
Alex On Net – Alex Arrow (cwaboard.co.uk)
Laser for me. That 2.2L turbo will be more pleasant with a slushbox than the non-turbo Plymouth/Mitsubishi will be.
The Arrow at least is RWD, and way more rare. Both are pretty much the same, just a decade apart though. it would be a coin toss for me.
With the low level of power, RWD won’t be an advantage in that case.
Arrow, My dad had one as a company car and it rusted quick, but it did look sharp. I had an 85 LeBarron GTS same dash, same engine and drive train as the laser these are K cars with a turbo. The engines were not beefed up to support the turbos, the digital dash and voice system was crap.
Is it really too much to ask for my 4cyl Malaise Era coupe to come with a proper manual transmission!?!?! WTF!!!!
I really want to like them both, esp the Laser, but a vintage 3 speed just sucks whatever life out of those things.
FWIW, the manual transmissions available from Mopar in that era were hardly “proper”.
I had a Laser (Daytona). Gimme the Japanese sourced Arrow. It must be better.
Arrow. Both have their charms and both are pretty rare, but I wouldn’t be driving either much and I could see more going wrong in the short term with the Laser than the Arrow. Parts would be more available for the Laser, but probably needed more for the Laser as well. For instance, I don’t trust the digital dash to last much longer than the ride home. (But maybe that’s an unfair prejudice against Chrysler “computer” systems from those days.) Plus the Arrow literally belonged to a little old lady who probably only drove it to church on Sundays.
Laser because it’s so damned 80’s it hurts.
One of the few Shitbox showdowns where I *need* a both option
Both 3-speed automatics, so I will take the Arrow and somehow find a way to convert it. I’m sure the Laser drives & handles better, and the wheels are much cooler, but I can’t pass up the louvers on the Arrow’s quarter windows.
I was disappointed that the Lazer’s synthesized voice didn’t sound like a Cylon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjUvBxvVQNk
As sweet looking as that Arrow is, I grew up in an 80’s L-body Mopar derivative. Give the Laser a red corduroy interior and a manual, and it would be nostalgic madness.
Picked Arrow cause I had never seen or heard of it before, and the nose is raked in the correct direction.
Picking the Laser just because of that sweet dash.
I just saw an ad on JNC this morning about the Arrow that kinda made me want one. If this had been a GT manual, I might be pricing tickets to WA. That Laser is pretty nice, though, and it got my vote. It may be a K car, but it’s got a lot more style than an Aries.
I’m picking the Laser just for the interior that I get to look at every time I sit in it. Plus it has more ‘pew pew pew!!’
“Your engine oil pressure is critical”. And the car is right! It is critical to have oil pressure. These are both pretty sweet, but I’m picking the Laser. A good polish would really make it look nice.
I have a bizarre affection for the Lazer/Daytona cars and would absolutely love to own this particular Lazer. Yeah it’s a K-car but this it’s probably the best K-car. Which is… something? The automatic is a bit of a bummer.
I probably like it more than I should.
If I have to do a manual swap, might as well be in the car in which the transmission points in the right direction. Plus, why not swap engines too? A 4B11T would make things interesting.
Lazer for the win because newer and cleaner.
But a cool story. In 1978 was traveling to Colorado to pick up a car. A friend was also going out there to ski so we took her Arrow which was identical to this one. A brand new car. It was a rare cold snap in the South and temps were below freezing. Crossing Mississippi on I-10 very early in the am as the sun was rising. I had just fired up a number and was sipping a cup of coffee.
As we went on to an overpass at 70mph the car hit some unseen black ice. It then spun a number of times. Not sure how many times but a bunch in a row. We went from guard rail to guard rail in what seemed like slow motion. When we stopped discovered that every bumper had the rubber end caps torn off but no other damage to the car. Bridget wanted to stop and look at the car but I was concerned about dealing with the cops in a car that smelled like weed…
At that point I was asked to drive. And was stuck driving the next 1,400 miles.
Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes God just takes mercy on you and saves your ass. True story.
“the one in my ’84 Laser XE was affected with a sort of automotive Tourette’s syndrome – it would randomly speak various messages”
I can say from experience that this was probably the door ajar sensor. My brother and I discovered on an ’84 New Yorker that you could get the synthesized voice to say random messages by rapidly triggering the sensor in the door jamb. One quiet afternoon was spent in the driveway, trying to get it to go through every message in its memory banks. Incidentally, we got it to say quite a few things that day that we wouldn’t ever hear again before we got rid of the car many years later. (Something like, “Oil pressure is low. Prompt service is required.” My memory is a bit fuzzy on this point.)
And a shout-out to the seats in that car. It was like sitting on a cloud, they were so comfortable.
Arrow, easy.
RWD and still has just a little bit of 70’s styling before everything went full 80’s vaporwave.
Plus, you won’t constantly be stopped by people commenting on your Mustang.
Never underestimate the joy in knocking down “gearheads” who misidentify your car. When I had a ’64 Rambler American, the “hot rod guys” kept identifying it as a Chevy Nova. The stammering and backpedaling when I corrected them was always fun.
(This is also why I always call BS on anyone who says “cars all looked different back in the day.”)