Early last month, I declared victory against my wife’s stately 2001 BMW 525iT E39 wagon. The Beemer, which seemed to be on death’s door with absurd oil consumption, catastrophic misfiring, and impressive smoke, was fixed with $400 of parts and labor plus a so-called “Italian Tune-Up.” The car was now better than ever, but it’s not lasting. Just 3,000 miles later the car has found new and creative ways to break. Here we go again, is this thing haunted?
Back in late 2022, our secret designer The Bishop sold me this stately wagon. At the time, it had just minor issues. The car needed a new catalytic converter, new tailgate wiring, and rust repair, but that was it. I drove the wagon for some time before I gave the vehicle to my wife as a gift. This car has changed her life. Sheryl has always been the kind of person to exhaust seemingly infinite energy to help others, but little for herself. So, she’d drive things like base model Subaru Imprezas and Toyota Camrys, never realizing that driving could be thrilling.
The Bishop’s E39 changed that. This was a car that, at the time, was both reliable and thrilling to drive. Sheryl traded cloth for leather, an inline four for a straight six, and a Toyota badge for the BMW roundel. The BMW might be the greatest automotive evolutionary step my wife has experienced. It may be a $1,500 pile of German over-complication to you and me, but it means the world to her.
So, we’re continuing to keep this car alive, even when it seemingly wants to take a nap.
What Broke Last Time
My wife drives a lot. As of now, she’s on track to drive a tick over 40,000 miles this year. She drives more than I do, and I’m the one who writes about vehicles! Sheryl is often ripping across the state of Illinois to show up in courts all over these flat lands. Unfortunately, this puts a lot of wear and tear on a vehicle and she doesn’t have the time for a car to be broken for too long.
According to our calculations, Sheryl drove the BMW about 30,000 miles in a little less than a year. That’s a lot for any car, let alone a 23-year-old, well-loved German car. At first, things were great. She installed new coils and plugs, gave the car a full brake job, and vanquished the infamous “trifecta” ABS, traction control, and brake warning lights in the instrument cluster. That last one felt particularly good because not even the Bishop was able to fix that. We even diagnosed the vehicle’s airbag light to be a faulty mat in the passenger seat.
Sheryl then went on to add individual touches to the car including interior trim imported from Germany, new headlights, and modern infotainment. The Beemer purred like a kitten and even scored 30 mpg. Then things got bad:
Then late October rolled around and something changed about the car. Suddenly, fuel economy went into the toilet and oil consumption was best described as epic. I measured oil burn to be as much as a quart every 50 miles. My mechanic friends and even readers here suggested that there could have been a blown head gasket. But the car’s fluids never mixed and aside from the oil, they never changed their levels either. Yet the thick clouds of oily smoke billowing out of the tailpipe suggested the car was using oil worse than a two-stroke motorcycle.
By November, things started getting dire as the M54 2.5 six signaled its displeasure with its existence and stopped running on one, sometimes two of its six cylinders. The misfires were constant and shook the car harder than a Harley-Davidson’s V-twin. From November forward, there was never a time when the car didn’t misfire.
The problems made the car, named Wanda, undrivable. An oil consumption of a quart every 50 miles makes driving to downstate Illinois prohibitively expensive. That’s ignoring the fact that the car ran on five cylinders on a good day. Sheryl ended up parking Wanda and it sat for months. Every time we started Wanda, it groaned into life with a smoke show and a flashing check engine light. Our mechanic friends gave us scary potential causes from piston rings to possible top end trouble. Everything looked hilariously expensive for a car I spent just $1,500 on.
In April, Sheryl was ready to throw in the towel. She sent me out to take pictures of Wanda for a listing and in typical me fashion, I welded the accelerator to the floor. Eventually, the car cleared its throat and the misfires were gone. Even the smoke let up a little bit.
This gave her the motivation to get a third opinion on the smoke. I rang up my friendly mobile mechanic and one day he replaced the vehicle’s crankcase ventilation valve. It was an instant fix, with not a puff of smoke coming out of the exhaust. Oil consumption then returned back to its normal of a quart every 1,200 miles or so. The best part is that parts and labor were just $400. We then replaced the car’s catalytic converters, which turned off the check engine light, seemingly for good. The Bishop told me the instrument cluster hasn’t been that devoid of warning lights in over a decade.
That sounds like a mission success in my book.
It’s Gone To Hell, Again
Sheryl’s been driving her beloved Wanda through May and things were great for most of the month. The car didn’t smoke, didn’t burn any abnormal amounts of oil, and didn’t misfire a single time. My wife had her baby back. Of course, because old German cars like to be silly, we’re now in a situation that seems both strangely familiar and new. Sheryl’s put just 2,500 to 3,000 miles on this car since we fixed it.
The first sign of new trouble came when I was following Sheryl home with the Can-Am Ryker press loaner. Sheryl hit the gas on a green light and a little puff of oily smoke came out. Uh oh. Still, that wasn’t so bad, it was just a puff! Then, Sheryl let off the accelerator to turn a corner. As the vehicle turned right, a cloud of smoke emitted from the tailpipe. Now, Sheryl says it’s back to smoking constantly. Crap.
The car then had to get cute. One day, we were just relaxing at home when the car’s alarm started sounding. A check of my security camera showed nothing bothering the vehicle. It just started crying all on its own. That was weird, but we decided to keep on trucking. It got worse quickly. We’re now to the point that the car will sound its alarm less than an hour after the vehicle is locked. Thankfully, Sheryl now has a garage, so the car can be left unlocked at home.
At first, I assumed the issue was the rusty tailgate’s latch sensor failing. Sometimes the vehicle thinks the tailgate is being opened even though it’s closed. My Volkswagen Touareg VR6 had an issue similar to that. A deep scan of the vehicle shows a single immobilizer code of “0F – Power-On Reset.” That’s an error caused by low voltage. The battery died recently so that one makes sense. I cleared it and as of publishing it didn’t come back. One error is stored in the body control module with “5E – Central-Locking Drive, Passenger’s Door.” Some early research suggests this could be a potential wiring issue or a lock actuator issue. The failure mode seems non-functional central-locking on that door, not the alarm sounding. Either way, the locks are working great right now.
Sheryl has also noted that on one recent occasion, the vehicle shut down while she was driving. The engine stopped running and the electrics went dark while she was moving. Turning the key to the off position and then turning the vehicle back on resolved the issue. I have not been able to replicate this.
The misfiring came back, too, but this time it’s intermittent and seemingly random. Punching the throttle doesn’t seem to make a difference. Wanda is now back in the garage far sooner than expected. Sheryl feels she cannot trust the car at this current time, so I have to bring it back…again.
Now it’s time for me to roll up my sleeves.
What’s Next
First, I want to tackle the misfire. I know Sheryl is using some pretty “sus” aftermarket coil packs and white-label spark plugs. Thankfully, I keep old working parts for troubleshooting purposes, so the Bosch stuff will go back in for now. Of course, I’ll inspect the plugs upon their exit as well. My mobile mechanic said that the car is in dire need of new vacuum lines, so those will need to be replaced, too. I’m fairly confident I can knock out the misfiring issue.
I think I can tackle that alarm system, too. Some E39 owners have had issues with their alarm systems going off after a failure of the hood sensor. Like all good German cars, the E39 is also said to be sensitive to battery voltage, so we should test and maybe replace that battery since it died once. I just have to inspect the alarm system. If we’re lucky, it’s just the hood sensor and that can be disabled.
I’m less sure about everything else.
The smoke is a curious one. Why did the car drive for a whole month without smoking? What could have happened? I suppose there is a non-zero chance the new CCV already failed, but that would be weird. It’s also notable that the smoke isn’t as heavy as it was before. The smoke before was dark blue, almost black. This stuff is a lot lighter. Still has that pungent oil smell, but it’s not the same. Oil burn has increased to a quart every 500 to 600 miles. Past experience would suggest possible valve seals as a culprit, but I’m not certain.
I also believe Sheryl when she says the car shut down while she was driving. The question then becomes why? Apparently, the ignitions in these cars can fail, which could cause this. But I want to replicate this before shooting in the dark.
Either way, I have a feeling I’m going to be spending much of this summer tinkering on Wanda. On one hand, it’s frustrating that this car just keeps finding dumb and annoying ways to break. On the other, I am learning a lot about BMWs during this process! Hopefully, we’ll eventually get back to a place where the car can be trusted to go anywhere at a moment’s notice. At the very least, Sheryl’s Scion iQ is still a champ that isn’t letting us down. Thankfully she has a reliable daily driver or else I’d be sweating bullets.
If any of our lovely readers are more well-versed in BMW than I am, I want to reach out for your help. What am I missing? Do you have advice here? Well, advice that isn’t “sell the car,” that is.
I’ve had random electrical issues and poor running all be traced to a loose engine ground, might be something to check for too.
“Do you have advice here? “
This is what I advise you to do to permanently fix your old BMW:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LikMNtXb98
“Do you have advice here? “
This is what I advise you to do to permanently fix your old BMW:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LikMNtXb98
Hmmm….electrical issues make me want to check grounds, especially with rusty cars. That, along with a brand new battery. Check the alternator too.
Oil consumption might be a lot of things, but misfiring and oil consumption seems like there might be a piston ring issue. Maybe the rings are sticking? Excessive oil in the combustion chamber could cause misfiring, and if the ring was briefly freed up for awhile, it could have reduced oil consumption briefly. Try a compression test of all the cylinders before the parts cannon.
Essentially think basics before hitting it with parts. Check the plugs. Check compression. Check your grounds/charging system. Change the vacuum lines.
At least she has a Toyota as her daily.
Hmmm….electrical issues make me want to check grounds, especially with rusty cars. That, along with a brand new battery. Check the alternator too.
Oil consumption might be a lot of things, but misfiring and oil consumption seems like there might be a piston ring issue. Maybe the rings are sticking? Excessive oil in the combustion chamber could cause misfiring, and if the ring was briefly freed up for awhile, it could have reduced oil consumption briefly. Try a compression test of all the cylinders before the parts cannon.
Essentially think basics before hitting it with parts. Check the plugs. Check compression. Check your grounds/charging system. Change the vacuum lines.
At least she has a Toyota as her daily.
There are plenty of good cars, luxury cars, that are more suitable for this set of tasks. The last thing an attorney should do is miss a scheduled court appearance. Have you considered a nice Avalon or any model of Lexus?
Avalons are very nice and underrated.
That’s what the iQ is for! 🙂 It’s currently the most reliable car we have………………..
There are plenty of good cars, luxury cars, that are more suitable for this set of tasks. The last thing an attorney should do is miss a scheduled court appearance. Have you considered a nice Avalon or any model of Lexus?
Avalons are very nice and underrated.
That’s what the iQ is for! 🙂 It’s currently the most reliable car we have………………..
My Diabolical BMW Is Trying Its Hardest To Bankrupt Me-Every out of warranty BMW owner ever
My Diabolical BMW Is Trying Its Hardest To Bankrupt Me-Every out of warranty BMW owner ever
Mercedes, consider an oil change to the heaviest-weight stuff prescribed in the owner’s manual. Use a high-mileage specific formula for the seal swelling additives. Especially in summertime, you’d be impressed at the oil consumption reduction.
The engine oil is running at higher steady state temperatures now, at the start of summer, than back in winter when you fixed the PCV problem. Your oil consumption doubled, yes, but from a small amount to a slightly less small amount. I’d chalk the difference up to a little more slipping past your oil control rings (higher viscosity will address this) and a little more slipping past your valve stem seals (high-mileage formulations may help address this).
The PCV was fixed in April (I know)! It hasn’t really gotten that cold since. We have been running heavier high-mileage oil and while it has improved the situation, it’s still less than ideal. At the very least, the burn is far more manageable than it used to be!
Ah, thanks for correcting me on the repair timeline. And terrific writing as always.
Mercedes, consider an oil change to the heaviest-weight stuff prescribed in the owner’s manual. Use a high-mileage specific formula for the seal swelling additives. Especially in summertime, you’d be impressed at the oil consumption reduction.
The engine oil is running at higher steady state temperatures now, at the start of summer, than back in winter when you fixed the PCV problem. Your oil consumption doubled, yes, but from a small amount to a slightly less small amount. I’d chalk the difference up to a little more slipping past your oil control rings (higher viscosity will address this) and a little more slipping past your valve stem seals (high-mileage formulations may help address this).
The PCV was fixed in April (I know)! It hasn’t really gotten that cold since. We have been running heavier high-mileage oil and while it has improved the situation, it’s still less than ideal. At the very least, the burn is far more manageable than it used to be!
Ah, thanks for correcting me on the repair timeline. And terrific writing as always.
“Mr Jones, prepare the parts cannon.”
“Parts cannon ready, sir!”
“Aim for the 5-series wagon on the horizon.”
“Target acquired, sir!”
“Fire!!”
“Mr Jones, prepare the parts cannon.”
“Parts cannon ready, sir!”
“Aim for the 5-series wagon on the horizon.”
“Target acquired, sir!”
“Fire!!”
“My mobile mechanic said that the car is in dire need of new vacuum lines, so those will need to be replaced”
Sounds like step 1.
“My mobile mechanic said that the car is in dire need of new vacuum lines, so those will need to be replaced”
Sounds like step 1.
Some “sound advice” Mr. de la Rocha and associates once famously stated:
“f*** it, cut the cord”
Some “sound advice” Mr. de la Rocha and associates once famously stated:
“f*** it, cut the cord”
The engine cutting put could mean you have a bad battery, or a loose battery terminal. If the battery is bad, buy the best one that you can get.
The CVV, if you didn’t buy OEM, could very well be the culprit for the puffs of smoke. BMWs are very sensitive to aftermarket parts. That said, it could also be the vacuum lines. Find the bad ones and replace them.
The engine cutting put could mean you have a bad battery, or a loose battery terminal. If the battery is bad, buy the best one that you can get.
The CVV, if you didn’t buy OEM, could very well be the culprit for the puffs of smoke. BMWs are very sensitive to aftermarket parts. That said, it could also be the vacuum lines. Find the bad ones and replace them.
I see by the license plate that Sheryl is a Vulcan, so her name should be T’Sheryl?
Or maybe T’Box.
I see by the license plate that Sheryl is a Vulcan, so her name should be T’Sheryl?
Or maybe T’Box.
Maybe a nice used Lexus hybrid would be a better solution here
Maybe a nice used Lexus hybrid would be a better solution here
“Sheryl has always been the kind of person to exhaust seemingly infinite energy to help others, but little for herself”
I’m not sure giving someone a 25yr old German car is a way to honor someone, lol. While awesome, these things tend to be quite ‘spensive to keep on the road.
The old saying about “nothing more expensive than a cheap German car” is a saying for many, many reasons.
Or the saying… “the cheapest thing about a BMW is the owner”. Fits with putting “sus” coil packs and “white label” spark plugs in. I don’t do that to my Toyota, let alone a BMW.
I don’t think anything about 20-something year old German car ownership indicates cheaping out on parts is the way to go. If you are committed to owning one, commit to spending the money to do it right.
In fairness, you are presumably a car person and know that cheap stuff from Amazon is a surefire way to sadness. My wife is new to this sort of thing. She doesn’t have a whole life of loving cars to guide her like I did. I probably could have saved her some money if I had been around when she bought the stuff.
But it’s no big deal, that’s how you learn! Now she knows that while you could maybe get away with a cheap blower motor, spend more on the really important stuff.
Considering that’s a five to six hour job in my Volvo, I think I’ll go with an OEM blower motor! 🙂
LOL! It’s like a 5-minute job in a Smart, and that’s if you’re drunk.
The blower motor just went in the VW Phaeton and oh boy, one of the steps seems to involve removing the windshield wipers. I’m not even sure if an aftermarket version of that part exists but it’s not getting it!
The windshield wiper bit for the Phaeton makes me think of replacing the blower in my old ’73 Bavaria—a super easy job, but it was accessed through the cowl panel at the base of the windshield (on the outside). Somehow, I don’t think it actually required removing the wipers, though?
But, yeah, in an E39 replacing the blower motor involves dismantling the entire dashboard, so you can bet your buns I invested in an OE part for that job.
I’m honestly flabbergasted that she didn’t check with her obviously-a-gearhead wife before ordering/buying car parts.
At the time she did have a Prius to fall back on, so the BMW was just something for fun. Then the situation changed and the BMW became the daily. The good news is that she has a Toyota as a daily again, so this car being broken isn’t a huge deal, just a pricey one. 🙂
Toyota as a daily ftw haha though I recommend not having a lifted FJ as a daily 17-18mpg isn’t fun but the reliability is have not had any major issues only wear items and a transmission (that was my fault got over confident with some water off road) and have over 150k miles now
I hope you get the wagon sorted, Mercedes! It’s a cool car, but as always, those Germans can be more than a little dicey
“Sheryl has always been the kind of person to exhaust seemingly infinite energy to help others, but little for herself”
I’m not sure giving someone a 25yr old German car is a way to honor someone, lol. While awesome, these things tend to be quite ‘spensive to keep on the road.
The old saying about “nothing more expensive than a cheap German car” is a saying for many, many reasons.
Or the saying… “the cheapest thing about a BMW is the owner”. Fits with putting “sus” coil packs and “white label” spark plugs in. I don’t do that to my Toyota, let alone a BMW.
I don’t think anything about 20-something year old German car ownership indicates cheaping out on parts is the way to go. If you are committed to owning one, commit to spending the money to do it right.
In fairness, you are presumably a car person and know that cheap stuff from Amazon is a surefire way to sadness. My wife is new to this sort of thing. She doesn’t have a whole life of loving cars to guide her like I did. I probably could have saved her some money if I had been around when she bought the stuff.
But it’s no big deal, that’s how you learn! Now she knows that while you could maybe get away with a cheap blower motor, spend more on the really important stuff.
Considering that’s a five to six hour job in my Volvo, I think I’ll go with an OEM blower motor! 🙂
LOL! It’s like a 5-minute job in a Smart, and that’s if you’re drunk.
The blower motor just went in the VW Phaeton and oh boy, one of the steps seems to involve removing the windshield wipers. I’m not even sure if an aftermarket version of that part exists but it’s not getting it!
The windshield wiper bit for the Phaeton makes me think of replacing the blower in my old ’73 Bavaria—a super easy job, but it was accessed through the cowl panel at the base of the windshield (on the outside). Somehow, I don’t think it actually required removing the wipers, though?
But, yeah, in an E39 replacing the blower motor involves dismantling the entire dashboard, so you can bet your buns I invested in an OE part for that job.
I’m honestly flabbergasted that she didn’t check with her obviously-a-gearhead wife before ordering/buying car parts.
At the time she did have a Prius to fall back on, so the BMW was just something for fun. Then the situation changed and the BMW became the daily. The good news is that she has a Toyota as a daily again, so this car being broken isn’t a huge deal, just a pricey one. 🙂
Toyota as a daily ftw haha though I recommend not having a lifted FJ as a daily 17-18mpg isn’t fun but the reliability is have not had any major issues only wear items and a transmission (that was my fault got over confident with some water off road) and have over 150k miles now
I hope you get the wagon sorted, Mercedes! It’s a cool car, but as always, those Germans can be more than a little dicey