I’m completely overwhelmed by the kittens born in my 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee five-speed “Holy Grail.” While one, named Jaws, is pretty much self-sufficient at this point, he did bite my friend and require her to spend $2,000 on rabies vaccines. Jay, the most recent kitten that I captured and whom I haven’t written about yet, will not stop meowing; she cries all night. I’m so tired. And then the third kitten, the rare orange female named Mango — a sweet cat who’s very easy to take care of (or so I thought) — has been limping for a few days. I took her to the mechanic — err, doctor — because that limp wasn’t getting better, and I received some bad news: Mango broke her axle! And man, paying for the technician — err, medical professional — to diagnose the issue has officially cost me more than the Jeep in which Mango was born! And the costs just keep climbing! Here, check out these X-Rays; they ain’t great.
OK, the big update is that, in addition to Jaws and Mango, my friend and I are now fostering a third cat named Jay (later to be up for adoption, so let me know if you’re looking for a Jeep-kitten!).
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I’m fairly sure that this little cat — whose fur is a muted brown, almost the color of a dusty dirt road — is the same one that once lived inside a brake rotor in my Jeep:
Anyway, Jay has been meowing nonstop, and I’m basically writing this article in zombie mode. If there are typos, I’m not surprised.
Anyway, despite her still needing quite a bit of socialization (she’s currently quite scared, though as you can see above, we have been getting along), Jay is the least of my problems right now. It turns out that my orange long-haired cat, Mango, has a broken axle. Here’s the top photo of the article I wrote on Mango last week:
The headline mentions fleas and nothing else because, though Mango was limping, I attributed that limp to the bandage on her leg, which the vet had put there after drawing blood to check for illnesses. Sometimes animals walk weirdly when there’s something on their leg. But upon removing the bandage, the limp remained for days.
I decided last night to take Mango to the emergency room; I was worried the issue was more than just a sore spot from a needle. My biggest fear was a blood clot.
Upon arrival, a nurse took us straight back to have the kitten checked out by a doctor; the doc and nurses could not deal with how cute Mango is. “Woh, an orange female! That’s so rare,” the doctor told us. “One in ten!”
The doctor began manipulating Mango’s rear passenger’s side leg, testing its range of motion, placing it in positions that would normally yield some kind of reaction from the kitten. But Mango refused to move that leg. It was as if the leg were completely limp, save for some very, very light movement on her part (but very little force). Even her claws in that leg weren’t ejecting properly.
Everyone was confused, so the doc decided we should do an X-Ray. The team took Mango into a back room, put a little lead coat on her to block the radiation, and ran some scans.
I love this photo of Mango watching the results with the nurse/lab tech:
The results weren’t good.
As you can see fairly clearly in two of the images, Mango’s femur (that upper leg bone) has been cracked in two places. I’m not even entirely sure what’s holding that middle piece in place.
Amazingly, Mango hasn’t meowed at all. She’s totally calm; a classy lady-cat. The doctor wondered what had happened. We’d never noticed any kind of fall or incident that might have hurt Mango. “This would have been a traumatic event,” the doctor assured us when we wondered if we had somehow hurt Mango while pulling her out from behind a toilet. “Trust me, she’d have cried.” We concluded that Mango had been injured when we’d trapped her in the Galpin Media parking lot.
The doctor suggested we go to another animal hospital to get a second opinion. For now, she prescribed opioids to relieve any pain Mango may be feeling (and presumably to calm her down and keep her from hurting herself); the doctor’s professional opinion is that Mango’s leg will probably heal so long the kitten doesn’t re-aggravate the issue. As such, my friend and I have been instructed to keep the kitten in a small play-pen so she doesn’t try to run or do anything else that might place stress on that leg. So that’s where things sit right now; Mango is in this little pen:
And my wallet is in a proverbial pen of its own. Look at this:
ELEVEN HUNDRED SMACKERS.
As a certified Cheap Bastard, this is pretty painful. The Jeep in which Mango was born had only cost me $450! Hell, I’ve bought at least five cars for less money than this X-Ray, and this is just round one! We’re going to an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow for a consultation.
Obviously, a living being is not the same as a Jeep, a cat’s life is totally worth it, and I’m mostly just playing around, here. Plus, I plan to teach Mango to wrench, so she’ll help me earn those $1,100 back.
Hand me the 10mm, Mango!
One way to deal with an overly loquacious cat is to continuously ask it ridiculous questions.
It won’t shut them up but it makes it more entertaining.
Ask the right questions and sometimes they will give you a good answer.
“Mace! What do you call a long bench with a back, placed in rows in the main part of some churches to seat the congregation?”
You’re a little off buddy.
Let’s try something easier.
“Mace! What’s a word that means to cut down (an area of grass) with a machine?”
Close enough.
“Mace boy! What rhymes with cow?”
Nailed it buddy!
The moral of the story is that cars are a better pet than cats.
Yikes. Both my boys get full x-rays as part of their yearly check-up, and that plus blood work and urinalysis runs like $250 each, total. On the other hand, when my girl cat (who my ex-wife has) needed dental work, that was expensive. Still not as bad as Mango’s bill though. Good on you for looking out for the little furballs, you really are a kind person.
Fun fact: Cat purring has been shown to fall between 25 and 140 Hz. The same frequency has been shown to aid in the healing of broken bones, joint and tendon repair, and wound healing.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180724-the-complicated-truth-about-a-cats-purr
I’m no doctor but I recommend petting and cuddling.
I once spent $13,000 on a 2006 Miata. I bring this up because sometime later, I ALSO spent $13,000 in one year on a cat, including $6000 repairing a broken leg that 8 weeks later had to be amputated ($4600) and then a not completely unrelated eye removal.
Totally worth it though when he would sit in my lap and purr.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52ntBUdz1SE&t
Does you vet’s office say things like, “Would you bring out Mango Tracy? His father is here to pick him up.”
All orange cats share a single braincell. They are adorable though. Good luck with that orange cat energy, at least you have mango to keep jaws in line! Keep the cattopian content coming!
Because there are so many comments now, I’m reposting the link for those who don’t read the older comments.
GoFundMe for David’s kittens. Please help.
$1100 at an emergency vet is like $250 at a regular vet. You got off easy. Ask me what it costs to put a gold crown on a front K9 when your dog shatters it chewing on an antler. Mango is such a little cutie.
OK. But I bet your dog rules the hood wit dat toof…
The talk of the amount of the bill being larger than the price of the jeep from which it came and a lot of other car purchases reminds me of something that went down back in January. I’m not sure exactly what started the conversation but I heard one of my students note that “she” had just spent $1300 on Taylor Swift tickets. Upon further clarification she did say that that was for a total of 5 tickets. I had to chime in that I’ve bought a lot of cars for less than that and quite a few for much less than that. One of the other old guys remarked I was going to say that would buy him a used motorcycle.
Need to get those cats to cute up and put on FB and get them earning. Or maybe a kickstart for vet bills.
David, find a local vet school. They’ll do diagnostic stuff for cheap.
Oh nice, it’s like a Shop Class?
They gotta train new vets somehow and they need animals to practice on. As long as you aren’t asking for surgery, it’s a good deal.
DT, Whatever you do, DO NOT allow your cat (s) to drive your vehicles. It never ends well. 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fvsItXYgzk
No no no you going there? Gotta do Punxsutawney Phil driving off the cliff in Groundhogs day.
Agree with the others that $1100 is not a lot in the veterinary billing universe. One of our cats (an orange male) ate two feet of string a couple of months ago. That required a night at the kitty ICU, several X-rays, an ultrasound, the sacrifice of two of our Saturdays spent sitting in vet offices, and several thousand dollars. And ultimately, Fritz was fine with no further intervention. We’ve had many cats over the years and pet insurance would not have come close to paying for itself, but if this sort of thing were to happen even a tiny bit more often then that might no longer be the case.
Could be worse. Imagine if you had a Maserati instead of a Jeep?! Not only would they get more exotic injuries, but they’d probably only demand to eat caviar.
Not to mention the espresso.
True, Mango is a pretty cheap date, food wise. I’m LUCKY.
I can guarantee all of your missing 10mm sockets will be under the refrigerator or couch going forward.
Back in my day, we lost 3/8″ sockets.
I’ll say it again – pet insurance is your friend. Sign up *today*.
Ripoff like after market car warrantees. You see that huge ass fine for guys autobot selling like a billion dollars. Not enough. Also where is the story about Farley Ford EV150 LIGHTNING test and how poor evs work as soon as you hit the border?
Muscular tension, bone-on-bone friction and good luck. Wedge-shaped fractures are inherently less stable than simple fractures.
In a human a fracture like that would almost make me think of a car vs pedestrian accident. Those tend to produce this kind of wedge-shaped fragment in the middle, when a thin bumper impacts the bone medially. Usually on the tibia if it’s a car or the femur if it’s something bigger. So yeah, I agree with the vet that it probably would have been a pretty violent incident. But I’m not a cat doc, so ymmv.
Either way, best wishes to the kitter. Get pet insurance, people.
Thank you for your hybrid Honda!
Is “hybrid Honda” some kind of slang term I’m not aware of?
Your insight!
Well played, Sir, well played. I groaned a little.
That’s all I could hope for out of that one, tbh.
Cats are good at healing broken bones. My first ex-wife is a veterinarian and says that as long as the bones are in the same area code, there is a good chance they’ll heal just fine.
> My first ex-wife
There’s a story there.
Fun fact: meowing is a learned behavior generally from interaction with humans. Formerly and borderline feral cats, as well as highly intelligent breeds tend to be among the absolute chattiest.
And the most obnoxious.
Why yes, I was stupid enough to adopt a borderline feral tabby/bengal mix.
Jay is also clearly the runt of the litter. That’s probably why the screaming.
If the poops are solid, give him/her enough food they can browse. If screaming continues? Bad news: you are now CAT DAD. The screaming will not stop until you pay attention to him. And I don’t mean just getting out the laser pointer (don’t use laser pointers with kittens. Use something they can actually catch.)
The good news is that she actually doesn’t look scared. Somewhat uncomfortable, probably not thrilled with the weird thing in her face, but not terrified. If she doesn’t actively hide all the time and fight being picked up, she might just not be a people cat.
It’s possible she was injured when she was trapped, but extremely unlikely. Not with the right kind of traps. It’s far more likely that Mango managed to do it in the process of getting behind the toilet; kitten bones are fairly fragile things. But as the vet told you, they’re also fairly resilient.
You should, however, get a second opinion. The claws not extending/retracting could be from inflammation, or could indicate a more serious problem. And yes, that’s the same stuff as human buprenorphine and methadone. (I’m actually surprised they sent you home with injectable, but, yeah… getting cats to take pills? Do not recommend.)
But again: not a vet. And you should get a second opinion, for sure.
David. This is why you get cats and not dogs.
$1100? That’s small potatoes.
The dumb mutt who quite literally ate an entire full box of rat poison – cardboard and all, no less – had to get a stomach pump. Plus four weeks of very expensive vitamin K and liver medicine.
And had the audacity to just shrug the whole damn thing off with absolutely zero ill effects!
You mean the world’s most expensive cat toy.
$1100 dollars for a feline vet bill is NOTHING; my sister has a Purebred Welsh Cardigan Corgi that injured his back, and the surgery and physical therapy to make sure he would be able to walk again without any issues was ten THOUSAND dollars!
My cat tore her ACL years ago now. The main reason I didn’t have it surgically fixed is because the orthopedist looked me right in the eye and said “I don’t recommend it. It’s an equal or greater chance it doesn’t improve anything or makes it worse.”
I had them quote it anyways.
$8,900. In 2014. Just for the surgery.
Man i wouldnt pay that kind of money to heal me.
In the US that only buys you three aspirin and a band aid anyway.
Oof. I had an older female cat who was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. They dosed her with radioactive fallout (Iodine 131) and kept her in a lead-lined crate for a week. Her litter box waste during the stay was disposed as low-level radioactive waste.
I’ve blocked all memories of the bill, but it was totally worth it to have my couch buddy for a few more years.
My sister had a cat that went through the same. The literature said don’t cuddle the cat for a few weeks, and especially don’t let it rest on your lap next to your reproductive organs. Most importantly do NOT dump the litter too early or you risk setting of the radiological alarms at the dump which may get you a visit from the feds.
As it happened I have a Geiger counter just for such occasions so she borrowed it to monitor the cat and the litter. That cat was and still is the hottest thing I’ve ever measured with that counter. IIRC he was giving me the same readings at 4′ as my hottest rock from an inch. His litter was about half as active. And that was a week after the treatment (I-131 has a half life of 8 days). For a few days the family played “find the radioactive kitty”. The cat was not amused.
Good news is the treatment worked. The cat had a full recovery.
(The literature also mentioned the dose given to a cat is much less than the dose given to a human in the same treatment, yeech!)
I wish I had a Geiger counter handy! We had the same guidance, and it was a little tough to seemingly shun the poor cat for however long it was. On the plus side, I’m glad your sister’s cat had the same excellent results!
But could he still play the piano?
Look who’s the dumbfuck who left rat poison somewhere where a dog could get it- there’s absolutely no excuse. You should have been thrown in jail for that!
Better get some cash for clicks on these cat articles to pay for that surgery!
This is a great lesson: don’t let pet cats outside. Too many ways to get hurt.
“Hand me the 10mm, Mango!”
“Meow!”
You’re good man DT.
No cats only know kenworth.
“Go eat the spaghetti in my shower Mango!”
the joys of being a cat dad, welcome to the club
“Nothing is so expensive as a free pet” – Attributed to my father. I received a black lab mix from a neighborhood litter when I was a ‘ute. Then the mailman ran her over; broke one front leg and one back leg on the opposite side. She recovered and lived a long life, but the vet bills were apparently expensive.
Mango and Jaws are great names.