Adrian Clarke might be a softy in person, but our dark goth car designer gets so argy-bargy online that we frequently have to edit out his more colorful insults lest we all be sent to The Hague. What’s the trick to softening him up? Sending him to the hospital, of course.
This was a planned event, unlike the previous trip he took to the hospital in the back of an ambulance, and some light sedation was expected. What was less expected was that he’d, you know, log on and start talking to us.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. We all Slack all day, all night, because we can’t be in person but we enjoy the company.
Ok, that’s enough preamble. It’s getting wild in here, be warned.
As we all know, Jason almost died and has had a large tube in him for a few months. A tube, I’m happy to say, is hopefully coming out today. In the interim, I think Adrian was getting jealous of the attention. Jason asked if was getting a PICC line as well.
Lol at “it’s where the hood drugs are going in.” Clearly, he meant “Good drugs” but this would be the first of many things Adrian would fail to type basic words.
I’m going to spare you that photo. We went back to talking about other things and I guess Adrian got more dugs because:
Lololol.
See, he’s much nicer when he’s high. He’s also helpful. We were trying to think of different Autopian Asks (AA) posts and he had some ideas:
Ok, so Erica has entered the chat with the full Dan Neil brag.
Is sex in a pickup truck bed sex in a car? Not even if you write “I has sex” like some sort of Zyn-addled Clemson Freshman. That is, at best, sex on a car, which is called giving the full Tawny Kitaen.
At this point, I was dying. To clarify, I think he’s talking about the Rover Sterling and not a river he made up:
I’d bone in that.
Sex in a minivan is sex in a car, but barely.
Welcome, SWG, to the chat. And then let’s all welcome David who was…
Donnying his way into the conversation:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=820830958776095
Forget it, David, you’re out of your element!
looool. And I agree with Erica, it is sort of romantic to have sex in a truck, underneath the State of North Carolina, next to a river conceived by your imagination.
Also, just to clarify, I asked Adrian this morning if it was ok to post this since he was not of full mind yesterday:
AMC Concord wagon. Not sure how I can better establish my car nerd cred than that.
Angriest contributor/best times in a car, that’s a fun juxtaposition. Speaking of fun positions, the back seat of a ’68 Coupe de Ville is a great place to be when you’re 5’9″, your girlfriend is 4’11”, and you’re at the drive-in theater. I re-upholstered the back seat of that car just for those dates.
So is the Bishop’s next design post going to be a collaboration with Adrian and have a bed incorporated into it somewhere?
Front passenger seat of a two-door ’71 Fiat 128 sedan. Spending 8 months in our ’76 VW camper bus for our honeymoon counts too, but is far from unusual.
There is a terrific burlesque performance that is all about this theme, and the soundtrack is perfect, The Passenger by Iggy Pop. Oh, yeah, it is good. Look up “Boo Bess & Jenny C’est Quoi” on Vimeo for the video. There used to be a better version on YouTube before it got pulled. Well worth the watch. Here is the link
https://vimeo.com/303913293
Every car I’ve held the title on I’ve has been christened in such a fashion. I bought a Benz wagon on Cars and Bids like 4 months ago and the damn seller still hasn’t sent me the title. I’m beginning to think that as soon as the car is used for such purpose, the title will miraculously show up in the mail.
I love how DT shows up late to the party.
Almost feels cruel to keep this gold from the masses. I like how every once in a while someone tries to do actual work and it just gets breezed over. Always takes a minute to recover after a procedure, hope you’re feeling tip top ‘ol chap.
Been a bit ropey all day, not helped by the fact I didn’t sleep well. Thanks for asking!
You all need to consider a membership level that provides an entry into to the Slack channel. But it would have to cost more than RCL, I think…
Good god no. It’s bad enough without letting the riffraff in.
Too late, I’m already here. And all I had to do was pay a reasonable membership fee.
I believe the riffraff defines rather a lot of Autopian staff. I’d say us plebes, we’re just the slightly-more-unwashed-than-most-staffers masses.
You’re also home to two scoundrels, one ruffian, a ne’er-do-well/roughneck combo, hustlers, rustlers, fiends, a heavy, and one fascinating man/tube hybrid creature with a hoard of golden taillights.
Which one of those am I? ???? I’m the hustler, aren’t I?
Ford Taurus parked in the garage. Too busy to go inside the house.
Regarding the question of what’s the most people you’ve had in an inappropriate car I fondly remember the days of four people in a Triumph Spitfire: my best friend driving, me in the passenger seat, a girl on my lap, and a tiny girl behind the seats.
Never closed the deal in a car, though.
There’s a lot to unpack here, but what’s getting the ram charger powertrain???
Just the regular Wagoneer, not the Wagoneer S, which is what David thought.
Sebring convertible with the top down under a clear sky in a beach parking lot. The ONLY good thing that car ever did. Fricking Sebring
Back of my 1994 Taurus SHO for those keeping score.
I’ve never closed the deal in a car. I guess I’m not good at choosing secluded parking spots since someone always showed up before the festivities could commence.
One time the cop showed up five seconds after I put the car in park.
Made out in? 1972 VW Super Beetle, 2009 GTI, 1998 BMW 328i, 2005 VW Passat, late 90s Lumina, 1998 Ford Taurus, 2012 VW CC, 2009 Ford Fusion. Sex in? The GTI and BMW. But thinking about giving it a whirl in the Beetle, if only to say I’ve done it.
I’ve heard that the back of a Volkswagen is an extremely uncomfortable place to get screwed in.
That’s what I’ve heard as well, but it still seems worth trying. Not till winter though, my garage is an oven right now.
PT Cruiser. That’s gotta count for something.
Mazda Protege, Toyota Avalon, Subaru Outback, another Subaru Outback, Nissan Sentra, BMW Z4…
edit: .. there are others but I think this paints an incriminating enough portrait as it is
A Z4?!? How? I mean…the angles. My god, the angles. Just thinking about the geometry involved hurts my 50+ year old frame.
The transmission tunnel/center console is definitely a part of every proceeding, with a slight relief to be had in odd-numbered gears; 2-4-6 encroached on the fun.
I once did it with my ex in a fiero. I was much more flexible at 19…
Nissan Sentraaaaaaa
I feel like I should clarify:
1) I borrowed my best friend’s Rover 827 Sterling for a date (same girl who I went to see Titanic with, if you’re keeping score) and we had sex in the back after our date. I’m can’t remember if I told him or not. Oh well, he knows now, 26 years later.
2) I had sex with my ex-wife (although we weren’t married at the time) in the bed of a pick up on her families plot at night, under the NC stars.
Everybody clear?
The River Sterling plays to the crowd better though LOL
Though I feel if it were an actual USDM Sterling (no Rover) here in the states, that woulda been very autopian.
“You know, Patrick McNee pitched these, baby…
“WHO?! Get off me you weirdo!”
Crystal, except:
By “families plot,” are you talking about their land parcel or their family graveyard?
There aren’t too many bright lights in a cemetery, so the stars really pop.
Their land, if you can believe that. Graveyards would come later.
Sex in a car just makes it easier for someone to disrupt you. And sex while driving is more dangerous and just makes it harder to really enjoy.
But it’s definitely worth trying sex in a car at least once in your life.
(For liability reasons, I do not suggest trying sex while driving.)
If you’re too young to have your own place, then a car is your only possibility of privacy.
I just about managed in the back seat of a VW Polo, although it was pretty cramped.
An old guy at work taught me the real secret: Passenger seat slid all the way back, and reclined as far as it will go, girl on the seat, guy on his knees in the footwell.
Adrian’s insults are a high art form unto themselves. It’s a travesty to censor them.
Agreed. Adrian has added many fine phrases to my vocabulary.
Any crapcan econobox with a sunroof.
I’ve heard that if you put both front seats all the way back and open the sunroof, you can assume a canine position whilst periscoping through the sunroof towards the stern of the car.
Just be sure to clean the center console….
Aha! Crimedoggy style!
That is correct! Jettas! SC2s! Sentras! Corollas!
I admit to being conflicted. I picked up ‘Crimedog’ as a nickname in college, but never thought of “Crimedoggy Style.” As I am starting this last third of life, do I try to bring it back? Or am I just too old for that….
Sex in a truck underneath North Carolina by a river of your imagination sounds like the spectacular result of a Toby Keith (RIP) and LSD-era Beatles collaboration.
Sex in a MGB with the top down.
Full agree, no one cares about the time when you and your partner(s) saw the diety of your choice.
Painful, embarrassing, stupid and/or the cops were involved?
Yes please.
Re: minivans. A friend tells me it works better if one parks on a flat surface.
Sex in a 280Z, and on the hood of a car whose make/model I didn’t notice.
User name checks out.