The Car We’re Obsessing Over Today Might Surprise You: Tales From The Slack

Slack Tales Sportage 3
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Or maybe it won’t? A big thank you to all of our new members and, of course, our returning members. For those of you who are new, we use the group chat service Slack for most of our internal work communications. Every week (or so) we like to pick out the most interesting, funniest, or enlightening conversations and share them with you. As members, we want you see get a frequent glance behind the curtain (in our case, a rusty red curtain).

As with all car people, we collectively spend about 25% of our conscious hours (and, presumably, most of our unconscious ones) shopping for cars. For you, this is a distraction from work, for us this is sometimes actual work. For our own Stephen Walter Gossin it’s both a hobby and a part-time occupation.

I love watching Gossin buy-and-revive cars that would otherwise be left to rot in a yard somewhere. He’s a genius mechanic and probably doing more to help the environment than most EV startups. Being in Slack with SWG means I get to see what he’s thinking about picking up next and, of course, we can influence his decision.

This came up this morning when SWG shared his potential next big find:

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Here’s the link and, oh boy, these photos are indeed terrible. So terrible that no one, in theory, would make them up:

Screenshotof Fb Post

That’s pretty bad but, wait, enhance, there’s something in the background there.

Kia Screenshot

Oh hell yeah. Mercedes picked up on it immediately.

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Funny story, these little Sportages go back to the pre-Hyundai era of Kia when it was aligned with Mazda and Ford. This is related to the Mazda Bongo van underneath, mostly, and has a Mazda transmission and 2.0-liter fourbanger. This doesn’t make it exactly a hoot, but it is a cheap and mostly forgotten two-door SUV.

First Generation Kia Sportage Story 12
Photo: Kia

Did you know this was also in the competition for Off-Road and Four-Wheeler Magazine‘s 4×4 of 1999?

The two-door convertible was expected to be the penalty box of the group, but it was full of surprises. For instance, it ranked six notches better than the Mercedes-Benz in Ride & Drive. It clawed the hillclimb better than the Toyota Land Cruiser. It got the second-best spot in the brake test and mileage. And, of course, we’re back to that price.

So not great, but this one is only $250! Mercedes has a lot to say about it as well:

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Will I eventually buy a Gossin car? Yeah, yeah I will. Will it be this one? I think Mercedes has dibs.

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Stupid Vermont DMV. Let us register our questionably legal cars, dammit!

Kia Sportage 2 0 2 Door
Photo Kia

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21 thoughts on “The Car We’re Obsessing Over Today Might Surprise You: Tales From The Slack

    1. I couldn’t believe how fast it happened.

      I barely even got the thing up and running when I put up a half-assed ad with bad pictures just to gauge the response and temperature of the room; it was sold 4 hrs later.

      Dude drove 5hrs round-trip with a brand new 5th wheel goose-neck diesel Sierra and literally threw the money at me.

      “You know hard it is to find these in green?!” -that dude

      Autopian 1st dibs is a great idea, as long as I can convince DT to let me post each rescue to the site, which might be a little dicey. I’ll pray on it though.

      Cheers and thanks for the comment!

      1. Yeah those things in decent shape are super hard to come by, especially with a manual. I’m up in Hampton Virginia, so probably at least 5 hours round trip and would’ve jumped at it had I seen it. You could post in the discord, members party room if boss man won’t let you post every rescue. I’m just close enough that it’s always going to be tempting haha

        1. That’s actually a great idea! I’m totally going to start doing that. Maybe the “General Chat” section instead of Members Party” though. Thanks a ton!

          1. The only reason I suggested the members room was it could be used as an extra perk for paying members but either way I like it and hopefully you get something else awesome like that tracker soon!

  1. Man, really have been keeping my eye out for these. Three have popped up for sale in the last year or so. If I didn’t have too many cars already … Bought the wrong AC compressor for my 4Runner a while back. Turns out it was for the second gen … and Kia Sportage!

  2. Another crapcan I didn’t know I needed! Small and light gets a lot of places off road, especially dodging trees and slinging mud in the off roading areas by me.

  3. I’ve always loved those first-gen Sportages. Kia was brand new to the American market, but they saw the way things were going and hopped on the “cute-ute” bandwagon before Ford, Chrysler, or GM could release their competition.

  4. It’s not that the camera is horrible, it’s that there’s so much radiation there it’s degrading the camera.

    In fact these pictures were taken by a ROV that died shortly after.

    /s

  5. The first gen Sportages are probably the most unknown yet capable off roader. One mod you’ll want to do is replace the awful air controlled locking hubs in favor of manual lockers if that hasn’t been done already.

  6. There were surprisingly a number of these convertible Sportages (what is the plural of Sportage anyway?) roaming around my area back in the day. They were cheap fun. I miss this segment.

  7. When those Sportages were new I was living in Houston, and those things were notoriously leak prone during the heavy rainstorms the region is known for.

    1. Waterproof the dash with silicone, install neoprene seat covers, drill drains in floorboards: done:

      (except…. Now every time you go through a puddle, your feet are soaked. Eh, seemed a solid plan as a 17yo 😉 )

      1. The problem is that in Houston nothing ever dries out. One would think with 95 degF days year round they would, but then the perpetual 95% humidity prevented it. Those cars got wet inside and stayed wet inside until the mold took hold.

        1. In the southeastern parts of Texas, everything eventually succumbs to the mold, the ants, or the alligators. You have to keep moving, and do whatever you can to keep stuff ventilated. But it’s doable.

          1. My decade in Houston taught me that while it is doable, few people expended that effort for cheap cars – especially relative crap boxes that Kias were back in the 90s.

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