Pagodas Are Lovely, So What’s This Dude’s Problem?: Cold Start

Cs Pagoda1
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I was thinking, as one does, about how achingly lovely the old Mercedes-Benz W113 “Pagodas” were, and thought that I’d like to have one for today’s Cold Start. So I started looking through brochure for these, and that’s where I saw the image above. The car looks lovely, sure, but what the hell is going on there? The driver of that car looks like he’s making some sort of scene, where he just stopped his 280 SL in what appears to be a sidewalk, and got out to scream at everyone about who the hell knows what. Whatever it is, it can’t be good. Look at that dude’s face! He’s pissed about something. People are either stopped to stare at him or are just trying to ignore him as they walk by. This is the picture they picked for the cover of their brochure?

He looks loud, too.

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It’s a shame, because the Pagodas were just strikingly and simply lovely, in an undeniable way. They have a simplicity about them and a set of proportions that just makes me stop what I’m doing and, I don’t know, want to just drink it it, slowly and carefully. The thin pillars, the ratio of wheel size to body, the subtle creases, that tiny front overhang, it’s all just so damn good. Plus, body-colored wheel covers just get me.

Cs Pagoda Lights

I’d think maybe the angry guy was ranting about how the W113 got one of the most severe downgrades when it came to American-spec lights, but that can’t be it, because his car has the fantastic Euro-market single-unit headlights, those amazing crystalline bubbles that incorporated headlamp, sidelamp, and indicator in that one, elegant unit. In America we just got a sealed beam over a big indicator, with the gaps filled in with clear plastic. It wasn’t bad, until you saw what it replaced. Then it was terrible.

Relax, dude, you have the good lights! Jeez.

40 thoughts on “Pagodas Are Lovely, So What’s This Dude’s Problem?: Cold Start

  1. Actually i see a guy with a problem during a classic race. People are period dressed in some cases but that one guy has modern equipment. The pavement is not a 40 foot wide sidewalk but a repurposed pit road.

    1. If you open the image full size in a separate tab you’ll see that the equipment that one guy carries is anything but modern. He has a period-correct leather bag, period correct clothing and the equipment can’t be otherwise easilly identified.

      The setting is clearly vintage industrial setting, possibly a test track or something similar. Everybody present is a man, and most are dressed in typical period correct blue collar clothing – the guy with the hat, the guy next to him as well as the guy with the cap all wear a tyical engineer/mechanic style coat, probably with a shirt and tie underneath.

      And at least three of the four pairs of legs showing in the upper left of the image are covered with a similar type of work coat.

      This is most likely a factory/testing area.

      The proportion of the amount of time the author of this story seems to have spent looking at this photo vs the amount of time spent pulling a story out of thin nothing is alarmingly disproportionned 🙂

  2. Isn’t this Alfred Neubauer, isn’t this some sort of race/test/speed track (this type of concrete is definitely not a sidewalk), and isn’t this guy on the right tipping his hat to The Boss ?

  3. When I was a teenager, my dad bought a 1969 280SL, and told me that if I got a 4.0 GPA that semester, he’d give me the car. Then he sold it before the semester ended. I never even got to drive it. What a beautiful car though…

  4. “Hey you! Yeah, you holding all that crap and not wearing a hat for some godamn reason, you’re in the way dammit! There’s a guy behind you trying to paint this for the brochure, and the last thing we need is your hatless ass blocking the whole side of the car!”

  5. Still one of the most beautiful Mercedes around, I got to drive the dealership’s owners car when it had to go the body shop (that was about 15 miles away) with the top down on a sunny day. While that car would be beaten by everything today (and most cars in the 1980’s) it was such a fun car to drive. I tried to talk the owner into selling it to me and he said that was a hard no, but he would keep an eye open for one for me. Well, my early 20’s self said it was going to happen, but it never did.

  6. Looks like the guy in the foreground has some sort of camera. The driver is pissed because the guy is filming him without permission, and no doubt has already stolen the driver’s soul. (Fortunately for the driver, he gan get another Soul in today’s Shitbox Showdown!)

  7. It’s a little-known fact, but Mikhail Gorbachev’s inspiration for Perestroika and Glasnost came from the shock of driving a W113 for the first time.

  8. I’m not 100% sure, but I think that’s Lawrence Tierney in his later years. If so, that’s his standard drunken rage. For him, it’s just Tuesday.

  9. The guy in the hat, right next to the car, just traveled from the future and thought he would catch the whole scene on his phone. But he’s just realizing the phone didn’t make the trip, leaving his hand grasping an invisible device, his thumb waving over a nonexistent screen. Awkward.

    1. The SL is probably the longest running name plate that’s been consistently incredible (except the Sacco years but fuck that dude, the SL is back to its deserved glory).

  10. I believe he is having a crisis after seeing the fellow with the Man Purse and shouting angst at the world for gender roles that make this a bold move. He always wanted a bag, a place to stow his sunglasses, keys, etc, but is resigned to pockets instead. It’s okay, angry man, get a shoulder bag. Be the change you want to see in the world.

  11. Everyone’s telling him he can’t park there. He’s privileged SOB and tells everyone he can park where ever he wants.

    Either that, or the car just died and he’s pushing it and no one offers to help

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