Yesterday, as I was tending to the sorghum crop I planted on one of the forgotten grassy patches of land between large box stores at a nearby strip mall, I happened to notice something. It was a cardboard sign, printed and placed by PepsiCo’s Pizza Hut subsidiary, reminding me and any other passer-bys that late nights just got, as they say, lit, thanks to the judicious application of pizzas, at least I think that’s what they were getting at. I was too distracted by an irregular red six-sided polygon that is supposed to evoke the image of the traditional Pizza Hut roof, but, in the context I saw it, looked like a car. A wedgy, 1980s-type of car. So I sketched some details to push it into automotobilhood, as you can see above. And below, animated:
Here’s the original sign, sans my additions, along with an old Pizza Hut franchise pic for reference:
That’s very evocative of a car, isn’t it? Something like a poor-person’s Aston Martin Lagonda, with pop-up headlights and sharp angles and a wedgy/sporty look? That’s what I was going for up top there.
Also, look at that Porsche 914 in that old picture there, next to those huge American wagons and sedans!
Oh, and that little image made me remember, barely, the little guy Pizza Hut used to use:
Hey, he had a name! Pete! He sort of dressed like a combination between a stereotypical cartoon Italian pizza chef and a cowboy? Hell of a moustache, too.
Oh, and that roof design that started all this goofiness: that seems to have been designed by an architect named Richard D. Burke, and the deal he worked with the fledgling Pizza Hut company back in the 1960s, when they were still too broke to actually, you know, pay for Burke’s work, was that he’d get $100 per every store they built with that roof style. As of 2004, there were 6,300 stores, so he did pretty okay.
“ A wedgy, 1980s-type of car.”
Said wedge shape is completely dependent on how stoned the teenager cutting it out happens to be that day.
There’s gonna be production problems for sure.
Some of these cars will be Silverado sized, some will be golf carts.
Jason, we love you.
I am getting Ioniq 6 vibes for some reason – I think it’s the droopy butt effect.
I’m not sure what these places are like in the US, but here in Canada they have the absolute worst pizza. Over salted cardboard. It mystifies me why they are still around.
We joke in our family that I can see my cheeks the morning after Pizza hut. There is so much salt in the pizza that my skin swells and the skin over my cheekbones is visible in peripheral vision.
I’ve probably seen this exact car, made of Fiberglass, on Facebook, on a C3 corvette chassis, and probably didn’t even realize it.
looks like something Renault would make
This roof design may as well be a trademark for nondescript Mexican joints in the Midwest.
Same thought instantly came to mind, of one in east-ish St. Paul.
There was a day when beneath this roof was about the only place to get pizza, when the ovens were actually ovens, and not industrial pizza hair dryers, and you had to WAIT for what seemed like For-ev-er to get your pizza.
80’s me is shaking my head in agreement.
That’s also when they made their dough on site, instead of shipping it in frozen
Growing up in the rural Midwest, it was a special date if it was a Pizza Hut date.
I’ve never heard of the Pizza Hut mascot before, but he has a remarkable resemblance to the Little Caesar’s character wearing a disguise. Could they be related?
Your car is the perfect size to transport Pizza Pete, the Frito Bandito, the Eskimo Pie boy, Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben to their ethnically insensitive mascot support group.
I just want to know why you planted sorghum back there.
“sorghum”
Showing my age again, but I remember “Pizza Pete” as the spokescartoon for something called “Oh Boy! Pizza Pie.” IIRC, it was a very early frozen pizza that featured animated TV ads with a catchy jingle I now have roaming through my noggin.
Was that a precursor to Pizza Hut?
Oh, and the Pizza Hut-mobile you came up with would look approximately like my first Pinewood Derby racer if the wheels were stuck outside with no fender wells at all.
Pizza Inn was earlier but i see no car picture
Ha, that bears a striking resemblance to the Aston Martin Lagonda:
https://image.hmn.com/oKAAcnurP0lEC57BKyrjgmhmo-4=/450×300/uimage/106723911.jpg
(Edit) D’oh, just re-read the article & saw that you did indeed reference the Lagonda. That’s what I get for reading and commenting before finishing my morning coffee, good grief. I’d gone back into the article because I thought I noticed a fastback Type 3 VW in the background of that photograph with the 914 in the foreground. Pizza Hut sure attracted some people with good automotive taste (though some people might disagree about the fuselage Mopars…)
Looks like it has a solid B pillar and a square roofline. I’m calling this a 2 door sedan.
The design reminds me of those wooden wedge car thingamajig’s back in 7th grade shop class that we were supposed to build and race to be track cars. Fun times …
The roof is one thing that never changes on those buildings, regardless of what they end up as.
If you’re looking for a rabbit hole, there’s a great reddit where people submit photos of ex-Pizza Huts. The roofline is definitely persistent.
I only ever see them turned into Mexican joints around here (MO).
They’re like Wendy’ses that way.
Yeah, that’s why no newbuild fast food restaurants have distinctive architecture anymore. Makes them too hard to lease or sell when the franchise closes, so they’re all just glass and Styrofoam stucco boxes now
This reminds me a lot of the 1979-1992 Stutz Bearcat.
Was gonna say a cross between the Stutz and a Triumph TR7.
With a bit of Consulier GTP in there, too
Have not done the Pizza Hut thing for decades now. The few in our area are endlessly being shut down for food safety violations. Or going broke till the franchisee can find another sucker to re-open the dump.
At least Pizza Pete looks happy.
Time to make the donuts…