Some women collect shoes and some women collect perfumes. You may even know a woman with an impressive collection of handbags. Look, I get it, I have a collection of bras and dresses! Of course, these are stereotypes and you don’t have to follow them. I also have enough cars to start a museum and decorate my apartment with parts instead of pretty frilly things. I’m also desperately seeking out perfume that smells like two-stroke smoke.
Another woman breaking conventions is Valeria Giordano. See, she loves clown shoes, but not the kind worn by folks with rainbow hair and big red noses. Giordano has eight (!) BMW Z3 Coupes, a car affectionately known as the clown shoe (or “clownshoe,” depending on your preference). Lewin wrote an incredible story about this wonderful gearhead and I highly recommend giving it a read. If you’re living someplace where the temps are below zero, it will warm your heart.
DialMforMiata took the stereotype and turned it into something funny with this COTD winner:
Ladies and their ‘shoe collections, amirite?
In all seriousness, if you’re reading this Valeria, you’re a total legend and an inspiration. I agree with our readers, your story is one of the coolest we’ve come across in a long time!
For a second COTD today, we have Griznant, who offers sage advice for someone in a cold place who wants to buy an EV:
Well, when we bought our Tesla we did so knowing the limitations so we:
1) Have a house
2) Plug in at home
3) Live in Michigan where it gets cold and we know how that works so we make sure the car is plugged in, charged, and ready for the cold day ahead.68k miles, fourth winter in Michigan, and we’ve suffered zero issues. Buy the car that’s right for you, not because it’s “trendy” to do so. I’ve heard of these street-parkers in Chicago who buy EVs and cannot for the life of me figure out why you would ever do that.
Also, with snow tires, the car is a beast in the snow. All wheel drive, easily modulated torque, heavy weight, and a computer that sorts out the slippery stuff makes it great. Just put it on Chill mode, drop the regenerative braking to low, and go on your way.
As some of you know, I’ve been testing a 2023 Zero DSR/X electric motorcycle for the past six months. As winter has descended onto Illinois, I’m discovering more and more how much it sucks to have to rely on public charging for an EV. You know it’s bad when even Tesla owners, who generally enjoy a better charging experience, start getting stranded. You’ll get to read about my experiences with a street-parked, public-charged EV soon enough. For now, have a great evening, everyone!
Top graphic: Clown by asier_relampagoestudio/Freepik; Z3 Coupe image via BMW
I’m also desperately seeking out perfume that smells like two-stroke smoke.
Try pre-1972 gear oil or ATF. It used extract of sperm whale:
https://magazine.washington.edu/feature/the-innovation-file-solving-a-whale-of-a-problem/
As nasty as that sounds – and its it – its not as nasty as what high quality perfume still uses; ambergris, a waxy component of sperm whale vomit or poop (the jury is still out) as a fixative. Wow, what does THAT smell like? Exactly like you’d think:
“Freshly produced ambergris has a marine, fecal odor”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambergris
So yeah, a little bit goes a long way. Good thing to since it’s expensive AF.
https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/gallery/best-mens-ambergris-fragrance-guide
If you do give it a go be prepared for a lot of potentially unwanted attention:
“Dogs are attracted to the smell of ambergris and are sometimes used by ambergris searchers.”
Ambergris is like industrial ear wax that has decomposed into a slippery, fetid semi-liquid.
Here’s the kicker.
Somebody killed a whale, and while processing the carcass, a bunch of this stuff started running out of its head. About where the nose would be. So they picked up a glop of it, sniffed it, and said to themselves, “Yeah buddy, this here stuff would smell dynamite dabbed judiciously amongst my darlin’ Louella’s ample cleavage.”
The whole thing is so unspeakably weird, that I almost don’t know how to react.
That said, the main feeling I am getting here, is revulsion.
Ewwww…
You think THAT’S the kicker?
Wait till you see how much its worth!!
Why would you look at that. Seems American companies steal IP too:
“LUBEGARD ATF Protectant was ready for market in late 1988 and Erickson knew that General Motors was having major shudder problems with the 440-T4, the automatic transmission for front-wheel drive vehicles, and the 700-R4, the transmission used on rear-wheel drive cars. GM jumped all over the product because it resolved the shudder issue. GM was so thrilled with the new lubricant Erickson’s company developed that it told him not to sell anyone the product because it would take it to market after running a battery of tests. But as it turned out, GM really wanted to delay Erickson’s market entrance and attempt to reverse-engineer the technology with the help of Afton (Ethyl) Corp. This period lasted more than a year, which cost International Lubricants time and money. Erickson learned a major lesson about large corporations and relationships with small business. Once his company discovered what GM was up to, Erickson decided that he had to take LUBEGARD ATF Protectant to market.”
I can tell that after a day cutting trees with a chain saw that “eau de premix” is not a great perfume.
Granted, it does smell better than “Chanel gear #75/90”.
The smell of an old Japanese 2-stroke running leaded race fuel & Castrol is pretty hard to beat.
There aren’t too many automotive fluids or emissions that smell worse than old gear oil
Chainsaw is one thing that I hope will finally go full electric. The ones available right now are weak sauce.
Have you tried one recently? They’ve gotten pretty good. Even my little 18V can cut some serious wood, and the bigger 40 and 60 V options will cut basically anything I have any business working on.
I don’t expect pro lumberjacks to go electric any time soon, but for a homeowner looking to maintain a few acres of woods they will do the job.
The last time I look there wasn’t anything that can handle a bar bigger than 20″. I have a Makita 36V one and it took me a whole summer to dismantle this giant oak tree that fell down on my land using it. The most basic problem I had was that I couldn’t work for more than 30 minutes or so between either out of battery or the motor overheating.
Have you tried the bio fuel, if that’s available in your area? It doesn’t exactly smell nice but it’s a lot less terrible than straight up dino juice.
That is a great quote on EVs. I get so tired of EV zealots saying “you don’t need range, average person drives 20.6 miles a day” and EV haters saying “I drive 375 miles a day towing a pair of breeding Brahma bovines, EVs are stupid”. There are use cases that work great and use cases that don’t work at all for EVs, just like some people need a truck and a Mini works fine for others.
The story about the lady with the clown shoe collection is awesome too.
Exactly!! This is one of the most idiotic things that permeates the debate on EVs: everyone seems to argue like their specific circumstances apply to everyone else, on both sides of the debate. EV proponents always seem dismissive of the many good reasons lots of people aren’t considering the switch yet, just like their opponents will always make up wildly exaggerated scenarios of EV inconvenience. It just makes me not want to debate the whole thing in online forums.
Don’t come knockin’ if this cattle trailer’s rockin’.
Phew, glad my terrible dad joke was taken in the spirit in which it was meant! I loved this story and Valeria is an incredible lady with an enviable collection of one of my favorite cars (dat orange one….). Plus I’m TOTALLY stealing her underhood beer holder idea!
Congrats, and agreed – she has much to teach us.
+a billion for the orange. I love that color.
Damn it, now I’m missing the smell of Klotz. And the angry scream of a KH with Stingers.