Everyone here is funny. Jason has a comedian’s natural sense of timing. Peter is wry and sarcastic. Both Mercedes and David somehow manage to be funnier than any of us merely by living their insane lives. Lewin and Adrian have the dark humor of people who have seen things. Every 19th word that Thomas says is pronounced in a way you’ve never heard it pronounced before, but somehow it makes sense when he says it.
This is great. It’s an asset. I hope that everyone here enjoys the humor we bring to our pieces when humor is warranted. We hope you know that, while we love cars and take them as seriously as they should be taken, we also do not take ourselves seriously.
It’s also a bit of a liability, specifically because our Slack conversations can get easily derailed and we end up spending more time chatting and trying to make ourselves laugh than actually, you know, trying to write stories for the site. We’re having fun. It’s amazing. But you’re paying for us to write stuff you can read and so we need to do that.
Still, sometimes it’s hard:
This was an interesting story I saw on Carscoops, a site we like and are friendly with. This particular story was about the Fiat 500 potentially getting a gas variant, which is actually quite confusing.
What you need to know here is that David/Jason/Myself have existed in Slack (or Campfire) for most of our professional lives and thus carry on multiple conversations simultaneously without using threads. Some people do not like this habit and Adrian, in particular, loves to give us shit for it.
(there’s some more random chatter in between and then…)
lololol
We have fun, that’s all I can say. Also, I’m glad it’s the only time we made Adrian mad in the last two weeks…
They should make it a Mild ICE, aka a range-extended PHEV. They have plenty of small engines that could act as a generator. No clue where they’ll stuff it in though… maybe a trailer? ????
You guys should purchase what’s left of Jalopnik and install Adrian as EIC
I was planning on purchasing what’s left of Jalopnik, but I was only able to find forty-seven cents in the couch cushions. I’m sure Spanfeller is looking for at least a buck.
They’ve disabled avatars o Kinja, surely that should drive the price down at least a cent!
First editorial decision: change the background to black.
Second editorial decision: change the standard site font to Helvetica.
The Autopian could benefit from a dark mode, just saying…
Death to sans serif fonts!
Georgia is my go-to these days. I felt so betrayed when I learned the 1 and the (ell) were nearly identical on Times New Roman.
And then of course, few sans serifs can easily distinguish the capital (eye) and the lowercase (ell).
Serifs are florid unnecessary decoration, and an offense to the eye.
I accept this, however, in a world with no serifs, I want abbreviating Artificial Intelligence to A.I. exactly as shown because I am sick an tired of seeing all these headlines talking about the future of some dude named Al.
Having spent north of a decade in the Fiat universe, it took me a minute to realize that actually yes, this is all a bit confusing if you’re not completely used to this brand of lunacy.
I wanna know what the Soul Coughing reference was! Chump, change and it’s on! seems appropriately Adrian, but this was Matt, so…
Matt (not me, the other Matt) was listening to Super Bon Bon while writing one of the Morning Dumps. Wednesday maybe? It kicked off some good threads.
Thanks! I need to pay more attention to those it looks like – it’s usually the headline alone that can draw me in.
Still not sure if Adrian is letting us speak again…
The old 500 was available as ICE, BEV, and mild hybrid in Europe. So now just the old will be ICE, and the new will be BEV, and Mild hybrid? Is that what Adrian was trying to get across?
Oh good grief.
Did IQs just drop sharply while I was away?
They were never as high as we made you think.
The average dropped when you returned
Angry Adrian is fun!
David: I can understand you’re very upset.
Me: You’ve never seen me very upset.
I have made similar comments to my students in the past.
This is me with newer friends. Older friends know what I’m like. Thankfully I’ve learned techniques to keep that angry asshole at bay… For the most part
I drove that mild hybrid engined 500 in Mallorca via 500 cabriolet rental. Not a good motor. I think 70-ish HP including the poweer from hybrid assist. I would guess it would make the new 500e awkward to drive. Plus, I think the battery pack is the floor in the 500e. How would that work?
Threatening to jump ship to the herbiverse is either so silly it can’t be considered even as a joke or so dire someone needs to do a welfare check on Adrian…
So good.
I love this so, so much.
Adrian’s frustration and stinger at the end is chef’s kiss.
I spend 95% of each job trying to crack people up (because I spend 95% of my time in life trying to crack people up) so this Helmholtz resonates deeply.
Will there be a performance variant?
A 500e Mild Abarth?
Isn’t that a brand of cigarettes?
Nah, that’s Fiat 100s. Also available in menthanol!
Ebarth
Soon enough MBA boffins will figure it out and launch Abarth as separate brand, exclusively making aggressive-looking SUVs for narcistic people who want to think they are modern and sporty, while having no clue about cars. Oh wait, that’s Cupra.
My friends and I got a new Cupra as a rental in Austria this year, and this is how the conversation went.
Me: What car did we get?
Friend: This just says “CUPRA”.
Me: Oh nice, a SEAT Cupra!
Friend: I don’t know what the hell a Say-aht Cupra is, but this just says CUPRA.
*we approach the car*
Me: What the actual fuck is this slightly lifted MK8 Golf, and what happened to all the SEAT badging.