Over in the Autopian Discord server, a hopping place full of scintillating conversation, important information, and sexy, wild flirting, an Autopian named theotherotter stumbled upon a dozen-year-old video of the 2012 press event for the Fiat 500 Abarth. This event has significance to me because it was the very first press event I was sent on as a baby autojourno back at the old site! What a magical, exciting time that was! I wasn’t used to the excesses of automaker press events back then, I wasn’t some jaded lout, dulled to the simple, honest joys of a large multinational buying you steak and booze; back then it was all fresh and new. That same press event also featured a guest star, of sorts, Romanian model Catrinel Menghia (who is now Catrinel Marlon) who was in Fiat’s 2012 Super Bowl commercial for the 500 Abarth. It was sort of weird.
Honestly, that was a pretty great first press trip to be on, because it was for a car I actually gave a damn about. The 500 Abarth was a genuinely fun, gleefully bonkers little car, and made perhaps the best sounds of almost anything available at the time. It was also the first time I’d really gotten to drive a car on a track, well, I guess I mean a non-shitty car, since I did an awful lot of track driving when I raced in the 24 Hours of Lemons way back in 2008. But that was in an 88 hp heap of a Ford Escort; this Abarth, while even smaller, had about twice the power and was, you know, not a shitbox.
But let’s get back to the old video that was found: it shows the point where Fiat was showing off the 500 Abarth Venom concept car, a 200 hp version of the Abarth, with a carbon fiber hood and a whole bunch of other performance parts. To add some extra excitement, Fiat brought in Catrinel Marlon (then Catrinel Menghia) who had portrayed a sort of personification of the 500 Abarth in Fiat’s Super Bowl ad:
And, sure, that’s a lot of fun, what with the slapping and talking and all the sexy goings-on. Look, I get it, sex sells pretty much anything from cars to hemorrhoid unguents, and everyone likes looking at beautiful people, right? That seems to have been what Fiat was thinking when they flew Catrinel all the way out to Vegas for the event.
Here’s what went down! [Ed Note: It’s Tim Kuniskis, current Ram and Dodge brand CEO, in the video below. -DT].
And yes, there I am, or at least me from a dozen years ago, back before I needed glasses to read and my hair was less gray and my aorta was still made of human flesh, not cybernetic Gor-tex. I looked back to see what I wrote about all of this back then, which was this:
In addition to presenting the 500 Abarths, they also presented a special-edition, 200 hp model with aggressive weight-reduction thanks to liberal use of carbon-fiber parts: an exciting car called the Venom, who’s release wasn’t clear just yet. But no one really cared to press more, because at the same time they showed that, they brought out the personification of the 500 Abarth from their ads, Romanian model Catrinel Menghia.
This, of course, was kind of an awful idea, because in moments the 8’4″ model (estimated) was soon surrounded by paunchy, horny, middle-aged auto journalists, taking pictures and emitting involuntary moans of pure longing. It was a little creepy. Besides, for safety reasons, I think women that beautiful can only be safely viewed through a pinhole poked into some cardboard, like an eclipse.
And, yeah, that’s kind of what I remember about it. It felt weird! I mean, yes, of course she’s stunning, that’s her job, and yes stunning people stir exciting, complicated things deep within us, but there was something embarrassing about both Fiat’s expectation that all these journalists could be hornified into a mass of pliant, car-loving jelly by trotting out this model, and by the fact that it pretty much worked.
There were the lame jokes about forgetting about the car and the line of dudes to take their picture with her, and, while I don’t really have a problem with beautiful people being hired to shill for whatever, it’s still a strange thing to witness in such a raw, uncut form.
I don’t really have a big point to make here, beyond that it was fun to see this video and my little cameo in it, and how much that reminded me of how I started doing this, and how lucky I am that I both was able to keep going, and eventually end up here, in this wonderful place, surrounded by all of you.
Oh, also I want to note that in that 500 Abarth review the phrase “But I digress” was put in there by my editor. I didn’t write that. For whatever reason, I hate that phrase and will never willingly use it. Just wanted to make that clear.
I think we’ve just seen a real life reenactment of the Homer backing into hedge meme (sadly lacking shrubbery), and I feel seen with the desire to nope right out of anything with too much people.
In addition to sparkling content, I appreciate Jason and the rest of the Autopian gang (by proxy) for acknowledging just how creepy that press event was.
I’m too old to use the term “cringey” (do the kids still say that?) so I’m just going say that it made me wince. Recoil, even.
Blech.
“Cringe” is what you are too old to say. “Cringey” is perfectly cromulent for older people 🙂
You’re never too old for “cringe.” Some things are cringe! It’s accurate and fair to use the widely-accepted terminology for “cringe” to describe “cringe.” Also, I think the Fellow Kids have moved on at this point, so you’re safe.
“Besides, for safety reasons, I think women that beautiful can only be safely viewed through a pinhole poked into some cardboard, like an eclipse.”
Brilliance. Even back then Torch..even then.
And surprisingly topical for the followup article he was going to write many years later. Might have to start calling him Torchstradamus.
In Torch’s defense, there is something genuinely odd or disconcerting about seeing a truly stunning individual in person. I could only describe it as almost an uncanny valley-like response.
I had the pleasure of meeting Ming Na Wen a few years ago and I’d swear she literally glowed. I’m not talking about something as crude or simple as just being extremely attractive, but it’s as if her skin had a faint luminance of its own. I’d be lying if I wasn’t more than a bit dumbfounded trying to process what my eyes were seeing. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t say she was also incredibly warm and gracious to everyone meeting her.
Anyone know what she was saying in (Italian?) over and over?
I was wondering why Kuniskis was there for a moment, then I remembered he was the CEO of Fiat USA for a minute.
Now that makes me feel old…. and I’m not even 30 yet.
Sheesh.
The auto press corps pretty much tops the list of “people I’d least like to see with a boner.”
If laptops weren’t so damn expensive, I’d be tempted to douse mine in bleach and set it on fire just to be sure every ounce of pure, unadulterated dude cringe has been cleansed from its parts.
I still vividly remember these ads, so I suppose they were effective. Shout outs to Torch for remaining wholesome while everyone else was ogling. I’d like to say I wouldn’t be acting like an idiot teenager around a supermodel but I can’t guarantee it. My brain has always had a tendency to completely shut off when in the presence of a devastatingly attractive woman.
A very common response.
I respond similarly when I mash the big pedal on the right. Pure lizard brain shit.
I work in an engineering department and we once had a very attractive secretary…for a short time. The young engineers couldn’t stay away from her and she eventually had enough and went somewhere else.
Oh I believe it. In my personal experience young engineers are often at a dangerous intersection of socially awkward and terminally horny. The combination of smart people that are mainly dudes, what usually amounts to a lot of money for someone their age, and more number skills than people skills creates some very…interesting interactions lol.
It’s not just “socially awkward”, though – it’s a lack of professionalism and respect for other people, in particular women. It’s hardly a surprise, but nonetheless sad that someone, as in this case, can’t just do their job without being left alone by men.
Oh I agree completely
You’re lucky. That happens to me around even a moderately attractive woman. So many awkward memories…
I’d like to think I’ve outgrown that by now, but I strongly suspect if I ever saw Catrinel in person I would have to run away to avoid making an ass of myself. And I’d probably just trip and fall if I tried to do that. 😀
Is it just me, or in the pic does Jason look like he’s hatching some evil plan for world domination?
Why do you assume he wasn’t? I think being a benevolent dictator might suit Torch.
“They same thing we do every night, Pinky”
I have a friend that had an Abarth exactly like the one in the commercial. Come to think of it, he looks a lot like that dude in the commercial. Now I’ve got some questions to ask him…
Menghia? She looked more like a Menpininfarina in those days.
What’s slightly more depressing for me is I know TWO of the people in this video personally, have had dinner with them both and neither of them is Ms Marlon.
Trust me, if you spend enough time around Fiats, you will generally just be hornified into a mass of pliant, car-loving jelly, with or without Catrinel around. You may think I’m joking, but I’ve been a Fiat nerd since those early days and yeah, it’s a spicy meatball of a community. I’ve been offered everything from naked hottub party invites to toe sucking. And I wouldn’t trade my freaky Italian heap brethren for the world!
Wow. I spent a few years with a Fiat, albeit an old one, but never met anyone else from the local Fiat community under 50 years old, and certainly nobody I would want to be naked in a hot tub with!
My 21yo son is now shopping for a 500 Abarth. He’s positively obsessed with it. Gotta admit, that’s a fun-looking little car and if the one we test drove hadn’t been a stinking pile of broken crap I bet I would have loved driving it. Not saying you’d want to be in a hot tub with either of us, but at least he’s under 50.
This mirrors my experience with Fiat people back in the 90’s/naughts.
I can assure you it’s many of the same people still kicking around
She said she was invited, she didn’t say she went. 🙂
Does that mean Italian politicians like Berlusconi are naturally just a product of Fiat ownership?
Now that’s the kind of service you just don’t get with a Ford.
Still love the 500 Abarth, absolute riot of a car. Hope I have the chance to own one eventually but hasn’t made sense as of yet. Also strange to realize I’ve been reading Torch for some 12 odd years and still retain brain cells 😉
Bunch of nerds that can’t control their gaze, ogling…
Is that a 6th generation iPod Nano watch complete with Bluetooth dongle?!
I appreciate your respectful approach to Ms. Menghia.
I’ve been to a lot of tech conferences, and a non-trivial percentage of the vendors hired models to bring foot traffic to their booths. It was more than a little distressing to see how some socially-challenged folks reacted.
Ahh, the booth bunnies. A colleague and I were chatting with one (non creepy way I swear) at a mining conference once and apparently most were local university students making some extra cash by looking pretty.
We called the Booth Bait ..but yeah…
Depending on the circuit, quite a few are actors or models looking to fill a hole in their schedule (actors in particular, for anything requiring hourly spiel delivery). Every now and then, I’ll recognize someone I worked with in some bit part on TV.
I remember Tech/G4’s coverage of E3. I believe the term they used was “booth babes”. Obviously, a devious but possibly effective tactic to use lechery to promote better coverage of your product. Nowadays, it’s hard to think what halfway effective HR department would greenlight such a dubious plan. Hopefully most places now just stick to the tried-and-true method of free food/swag.
I can no longer remember where I found this!
Being from Romania, I would be willing to bet she knows how to drive stick.
And is that the Abarth scorpion logo I thought I briefly saw tattooed on the back of her neck? I imagine that was there for when they shot the commercial, but was it really necessary for the in-person event? Even if it is temporary.
I wonder if….
https://youtu.be/bqsTmF2Oicc?si=TnEXmOMNGrLvU5yc
For sure.
Yeah, I wouldn’t want anybody tracking my eye movements under such circumstances. I’m one of those fools who can be genuinely gob smacked by one certain gender. I’ve grown to truly hate it about myself to the point I’m becoming saltpeter curious. 😀
I grew up with five older sisters that spoke openly about their feelings about the off putting nature of mens unwanted, leering gazes.
I shared my first apartment with two strippers that equally schooled me on how not to be ‘that guy’.
But still, even with all that training, I’m drawn to stare at any unexpected beauty in my environment, mouth agape.
I mean no harm, and I try to convey that sentiment by not starring like a cartoon wolf when a furtive glance will do.
Sorry not sorry.
To put it another way…
If a Countach pulls in to my local Safeway parking lot my eyes and soul are drawn to it.
I harbor no ill intent towards it.
I don’t want to drive it. I don’t even want to touch it.
But damn sure I’m gonna get as close to it as I can to check it out so long as I don’t make the owner feel uncomfortable about my looming interest.
Don’t beat yourself up about it.
It’s human nature to pay the most attention to novelties in our environment.
It’s been that way since we were apes.
Recognizing the inherent rudeness of that primordial drive in your man brain and attempting to keep the lascivious nature of it at bay via the tools of polite society is a good step in the right direction.
There’s nothing inherently wrong about being drawn to beauty.
It all comes down to the level of respect you treat it with.
The animal that does not use their senses to study what their instinct tells them to further examine is a dead and/or non-procreating animal.
No looky too long. Be respectful. Does that work?
The bit in the middle does.
Note that the self-hatred mostly comes from having to carry around this instinctual burden that no longer serves any purpose other than to distract the crap out of me and possibly offend others. I doubt I’m the first middle-ager to feel this way. Lol!
Am I the only one who can’t find the video?
Right here: https://youtu.be/WPRZFNOQMxo?si=NtrNAVaGhY-XbypY
Thank you!
Such a weird throwback to an era when automakers still cared about trying to sell fun small cars
*pours one out for all of the small fun cars lost*
Not a digresser? I never knew!
Digresser? I barely know her!
Truly a contumelious viewpoint on a perfectly cromulent word.
Catrinel should thank her lucky stars that she was able to meet internationally-renowned auto-journalist/cyborg Jason Torchinsky.
Catrinel didn’t know she was in the presence of the one man crazy enough to import a Changli to America and drive it on public roads.
I saw you checking out those taillights.