I really have no idea how this is possible, or the circumstances that perhaps lead up to this glorious phenomenon, or why or anything. I’m not even sure I want to know, because I may prefer this whole thing to be shrouded in beautiful mystery. And, by “this whole thing” I mean a massive mound of 30,000 “box” taillights that is currently holding court in Clayton, NC, and are currently being sold for $7/pair. The mind reels at the possibilities of 30,000 box taillights! You could outfit 15,000 Jeeps with proper lighting! You could build a massive wall of these in a grid and make pixellated, red (and some white) light animations! You could make a really uncomfortable wardrobe! The mind reels!
If you’re unfamiliar with the term “box” taillight, I can almost guarantee that if you live somewhere in North America, you’re at least familiar with the lights themselves. These are those basic, box-shaped taillights that have been used on innumerable working and utility vehicles from forklifts to box trucks to dump trucks, pickup trucks, and, perhaps most famously, Jeeps, from the CJ-5 in the late ’60s/early ’70s to the TJs of the late 1990s.
These taillights are an under-appreciated design icon; I’ve been trying to find out who designed these marvels of efficiency – two bulbs perform six separate functions – for years with no luck. I got pretty obsessed, and even made a tribute video all about them:
That one I’m holding in the video there set me back about $20 – and this King of Taillights is selling two for seven bucks! A steal!
I look at this colossal mound of box taillights and feel nothing but awe, perhaps that strange and rare feeling we call “numinous.”
You feel it too, don’t you? Of course you do – you’re human! How could you not be faced with 30,000 box taillights and not feel something stirring deep inside you?
Even at the wildly low price of $7/pair, buying the whole mound would set you back about $105,000 – a hefty investment. But think of what you could do!
The world’s largest and most painful and pinchy ball pit! But instead of balls, it’s taillights, you see. Forgive the crudeness of that mockup, but you get the idea.
Artist Amy Landesberg has set a precedent with her sculpture Tail Light Swarm, installed on a wall in the San Diego airport, and made up of 801 Hyundai Elantra left-side taillights:
Amy Landesberg's "Autoplast I: Tail Light Swarm" is on display in the Rental Car Center. Have you seen it? https://t.co/ombwOVIv01 #SANArts pic.twitter.com/OuFGp3ySGM
— San Diego Airport (@SanDiegoAirport) September 19, 2016
Maybe there need to be more massive taillight sculptures? 30,000 taillights are enough to make a 160×144 grid, which is the size, in pixels, of an original Game Boy screen! With that and some electronics and an emulator on a Raspberry Pi, you could have a massive playable Game Boy installation! You could even emulate the 4 shades of greenish by having just the taillight on, the brighter brake light, the reverse light, or both bulbs! That’s four separate levels right there! This could work!
You could build a whole, functional taillight bar from these, complete with box taillight chandeliers!
The possibilities are dizzying! And it’s not too far from where I am? Maybe I need to pay a visit to Mount Taillight, if only to pay my respects.
Let’s Appreciate And Define A Particular Class Of Taillight, The Layer Cake: Today’s Taillight
We Need To Talk About These Alfa Romeo Taillights That Look Like Jeeps
Take The Hardest Taillight-As-Sushi Identification Quiz Ever
(Thanks to Ted for showing me this link!)
I think you should buy a few and make lamps out of them to give away to premium members.
This is like an AI-generated honeypot to trap Torch. Or maybe a Twilight Zone-style taillight monster that swallows tail light obsessed people and spits out another tail light containing another human soul on top of the pile. I’m not going near it!
numinous What a great word! Had to look it up! Hope to use it myself!
Perhaps the Autopian can have a Lantern rouge trailer that functions as a mobile bar/swag item for group meets? Cover it completely inside and out with these taillights.
I bet it was from some company that did body upfit work on chassis cabs pickups, cutaways (Ford E-Series), or maybe even stripped chassis (Ford F-53/59’s).
Those vehicles are delivered from the OEMs with these tail lights, then a company upfits the rear frame rails with a upfit body of some kind (work truck body, tow truck body, etc..).
Some of those upfit bodies use these tail lights so they don’t get removed, others use a different tail light that’s integrated in to the bodywork. The latter is what probably caused the stockpile of these tail lights that were removed and not re-used.
If I still owned a lawn company, I’d buy 25 or 30 pairs. The rate at which these get torn off trailers is shocking.
Jason, can the Autopian please buy enough to build David a Jeep tail light chandelier? I think that is a good story and idea.
Maybe build him a tail light igloo that he stays in for a week if we hit 300 subscribers?
These could be repurposed as trophies for some future Autopian award ceremony of some sort.
Is this like an OnlyFans account for Torch?
So how many did you buy?
In a sleepy town in eastern North Carolina, the forces of Maximum Torch and Maximum Tracy converge. Be afraid.
A champagne supernova in the skyyyyy…
If there was a more obvious baited trap directed towards two specific people then I haven’t seen it.
My question is, what is their purpose??? What are they going to do with those two? Is it the Herb setting a trap?
Can’t wait to see the comic book version.
Don’t cross the streams.
See the brackets attached to the lights? These came on new cab and chassis trucks at delivery. When the trucks are upfitted with a body these lights are just tossed out.
yep, thought the same thing due to the way the wires are protected.
Here they are on a Ram chassis.
my24-cc-versatility-upfit-for-nearly-02.jpg (1410×1072) (ramtrucks.com)
Can confirm, I worked at a major tree company and we had several thousand laying around with harness. EVERY employee in the shop had a set of them on their trailer. I think i sold them for $2 EA around 10 years ago.
Yep, agreed.
Back up a minute. They would be Boxing Day gifts. It won’t brake the bank.