I’ll be honest with you: I never really understood the appeal of the Rezvani Tank. I guess there are people out there who do understand the appeal of a Jeep Wrangler JL with a video game-type future-warfare body plopped on it, because at least a few of this things have been sold, enough that one has now ended up on the legendary Copart broken-car auction site, just like all those old Sebrings with flood damage or the Cavalier your cousin’s brother’s friend’s dad’s dentist’s kid rolled down that embankment. The email we got from Copart states that this Rezvani Tank is “bulletproof,” but apparently it’s not truck-proof, as the rear quarter panel that got hit shows. Now the Rezvani sits on a Copart lot in Florida; per the auction site, the truck was once worth $354,241, making its current bid a steal at $80 grand!
Looking at the pictures of the 6.4-liter HEMI V8 Rezvani Tank, the damaged area doesn’t look that bad; the rear wheel is off (perhaps the studs are sheared?) and what appears to be a fiberglass fender is all beat up and torn:
UPDATE (Nov 14, 2023 3:40 P.M. ET): A representative from Rezvani has emailed us to provide more context:
An 18 wheeler at very high rate of speed ran a red light and crashed into Tank. The Tank driver walked away. An EMT witnessed the accident stated that had he been in any other car he would not have survived. Just wanted to share the full story with you on how well this armored tank protector its occupant. I hope this gives you more context on the facts on how this tank ended up in this condition, which is very important to your story.
Assuming that is fiberglass and not kevlar or carbon fiber, I suspect that all of the bulletproof material is used for the cabin area, because why bother bulletproofing the rear wheelwell? I am a bit surprised that this amount of damage to the rear quarter, the rear bumper, and, it seems the rear hub and possibly the axle, was enough to total the thing. The mechanical parts should be available from Jeep, right? But I suppose those body panels are in pretty limited supply. And perhaps there’s some frame damage there? It’s hard to tell.
The rest of the body all seems to be in pretty decent shape, though, so if you’re an experienced Jeep mechanic with some fiberglass (?) skills, this could be a hell of a deal.
Of course, in the end you’d still be stuck with a vehicle whose interior is about as airy and inviting as a mausoleum, but a bit less cheery. Especially in the back:
Yikes, look at it in there!
Copart made a little video showing off this mean machine, so you can feel like you’re right next to an immobile, fucked-up Rezvani Tank!
Also, I’m not exactly sure who owned this before, or what sort of person chooses the “Tank Military Edition” model, but if you do, you get, in addition to the bulletproofing, “20 security features,” some of which seem to be activated from this control panel:
Look at that! You blinding lights front and rear, strobe lights, door handles that deliver electric shocks, a smoke screen, and pepper spray, which I assume is directed outside the vehicle and not, say, through the HVAC vents. No wonder this thing is bulletproof; if you actually use any of that crap, of course people are going to want to shoot you!
What are the legal implications for this stuff? Like, if you use that smoke screen while driving, and you cause a couple poor randos behind you to drive their RAV4s into trees, are you on the hook for that? Or if your blinding rear lights cause someone to drive into a ditch? Or do you even care?
It’s really difficult not to see this thing as just a ridiculous car for the insecure asshole within us all, but maybe, just maybe, if you can pick this one up for like a quarter of its original selling price, it’d actually be worth it? Maybe? I mean, it is still just a Wrangler under there. Well, a Wrangler with an underbody explosive protection system and some nifty rear side marker lamps on that massive D-pillar.
The listing says this one has the stock 3.6-liter inline six, but the photo above looks like the 6.4-liter V8 making 500 ponies — which you’ll want if you have a heavy, bulletproof getaway car. The 3.6 won’t cut it. Oh, and this thing has a thermal night-vision system!
For a car that puts up such a big show and has a giant pricetag, this relatively minor damage totaling the whole thing seems a bit…odd. It’s like seeing some massive, muscled guy talk a lot of shit and throw around some chairs at a bar, only to knock himself out cold when he accidentally bangs his head on a doorframe while throwing back a shot of tequila. Then, while on the ground, he pees himself. [Ed Note: To be fair, we don’t know how bad the crash was, so the analogy is maybe a bit flawed. Maybe it was a massive wreck! -DT] (See Update Above).
I’m pretty sure this is the first one of these to show up at a Copart lot, and that in itself feels like a cause to celebrate. I’m curious to see where this thing ends up!
If it’s Heep based there’s gonna be frame and housing damage as those Dana’s bend like a straw with the lightest bump. Can’t believe anyone would ever give that for something built out of Chrysler scrap.
Meh…. No ejection seat…
It’s like a mall crawling bro was bit by a radioactive angry grille.
I’m betting a parking bollard
The optional 3.6 liter is the Pentastar V6, not an inline 6. The title appears to be clean and not totalled. Insurance claims aren’t always salvaged.
I think the Pentastar is a just fine engine. Nothing special, nothing horrible. But the thought of one powering a $350K vehicle seems a bit….absurd.
I have to admit i’m super curious whether this get’s repaired. Will the new owner use it for purpose or just a look-at-me toy?
Real life Fast and the Furious?
We all know the answer to that…
Isn’t this the car with the strange promotional video where the lady was implying you definitely needed one to drop off your kids at school? She mimed getting shocked by the door handles.
Boy, that’s worth a big George Takei “oh my.”
Yes!
– immediately followed by, ‘Never Gonna Tank You Up!’
Tanks, but no tanks.
I didn’t realize that the switch icon for “Pepper Spray” was 4 pieces of bacon sliding off a toilet. Makes perfect sense.
No matter how many likes this comment gets, it’s not enough.
That odd shaped Smoke Screen and Pepper Spray buttons bug the heck out of me.. especially considering the price of the vehicle
And evidently the symbol for “Smoke Screen” is the same as “I dropped my ice cream cone on the sidewalk”.
I thought smoke screen looked more like the fart drawings in the coloring book I bought my kid “Cats farting”.
passenger side seat airbag went off. that’s what totaled it.
Odds that a uTuber snaps this up?
damn, I’d follow that just to find out the story
I bought the cheapest Rezvani and can’t believe what’s wrong with it !
But first let me tell you about my stepmom…
Pssh, I saw Michael Weston make a car bullet proof with some phone books, a voice over, and an obligatory cut to b-roll of Miami.
…as you do.
What’s a “Phone Book”?
they probably backed it into a bollard or light pole at the mall.
As it will need paint can I suggest pink, with a light teal interior,
It would be a great looking vehicle in a fun colour
The fender is unlikely to be armored. Vehicles designed for IED and mine resistance generally treat wheels and wheel wells as sacrificial and the body is designed to direct blast and fragments away from the crew.
Got no idea why it’s totaled but it could be a theft recovery the insurance paid out on ad doesn’t want to repair or the owner fled the country to avoid prosecution.
Not a great look for Rezvani if your car still gets stolen, even with all those security features.
Rezvani is never a great look.
“I’m not exactly sure who owned this before, or what sort of person chooses the “Tank Military Edition” model”
I imagine the same wannabe weirdos that subscribe to Soldier of Fortune.
dalegribble.gif
Dale Gribble? Never heard of him. My name is Rusty Shackleford.
He was who I first thought of but he’d never be able to afford this thing.
Is that one of those ‘blue lives matter’ stickers on the front fender??
You know, the flag turned into a gang symbol for bootlickers?
Maybe. Hard to tell.
I saw one of these on the road and while it did warrant a double take – in person it looks like a comical kit car wrangler. I googled it just to find out that’s about what it is. I refuse to believe anybody spent more than a hundred K on one of these.
They are the NFT of the autoworld.
I assume this rig was owned by Major Depreciation?
Or General Douchebro.
Jeep Wrangler after a visit to Q Branch. It doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. There’s a world of new/used cars I would rather have for $80k.
“a Copart lot in Florida”
Location checks out. Must have been damaged in a cosplay boar hunt or insurrection.
Sometimes insurance companies will total or pay out to avoid headache. Could be one of those cases.
Panels or bespoke parts from Rez are perhaps unobtanium. at any rate those Black Rhino wheels are serious mall crawler fodder, so it is a waste of money to me, but I do find it odd the potential repair bill is more than the worth of the vehicle in this case.
That and the owner probably pushed to have it written off, some policies have a time limit to repair as well, mine tried to write off my Lancia due to a lack of parts, in hindsight I should have taken the money
Well what is a bulletproof vehicle with a salvage title worth? And to be that guy none of the damage seems to be from bullets. Also does not say damage proof. So technically it has not been proven not bulletproof.
Rezvani: “It’s indestructible!”
Florida Man: “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”
More money than brains has entered the conversation.
Bulletproof does not mean auto accident proof. Kevlar and or composite based “bulletproof” armor does not have a basically unlimited life unlike properly bulletproof steel armor. It’s a compromise of lighter and or more flexible armor in exchange for basically one time use. Once an up armored conventional automobile gets in an actual firefight it is totaled. A from the ground up armored car uses metal armor that is not a one time use thing. An actual armored car would probably be fine chassis/body wise in a low speed automobile accident.
Also before people start talking about how the Cybertruck is “bulletproof” stopping .45 ACP while being severely dented isn’t “bulletproof”, perhaps it could be considered bullet resistant for arguably one of the worst calibers for penetration in common use.
There is a massive difference between an Up-Armored Car and an Armored Car.
I appreciate how the entire reason I know the difference between “proof” and “resistant” is watch shopping.
There was an episode of Corner Gas where Davis said he saved a bunch of money in the police budget by buying bullet-resistant vests instead of bullet-proof vests. 🙂
I had wondered what kind of projectile weapon that “bulletproof” demo was using. I had guessed it was Pachinko balls from a wrist-rocket, but .45ACP target loads are not a huge upgrade from that. 🙂
The insurance adjuster’s report sure would be an interesting read.
Kinda curious what one would’ve gone for used and undamaged.
Well, actually, nah, not that curious…
Where is that Autopian we now call ADA? that guy needs to come sound off on this.