Welcome to another Shitbox Showdown! If you’re a fan of subtlety or understated elegance, I’m afraid today’s choices might not be your favorite. These things are about as subtle as a bouncy castle. But if you like to stand out in a crowd, they might be just the ticket.
Yesterday’s long and short ads for long and short cars was a fairly close vote, but in the end the Mercury Manifesto won the day. I think a lot of us who have bought or sold things online, no matter the platform, can relate to the Mercury seller’s frustration. I know I got a chuckle out of that ad, and it sounds like a lot of you did, too.
But for me, as far as the cars go, I have to go with the Hillmans. Neither of these projects is ever going to be a perfect show car, but the shiny blue Minx looks like a path of lesser resistance to something presentable, and that’s all I’m after. I’m a big fan of the “twenty-footer.”
You’ll see (and most likely hear) today’s contestants from a lot further away than twenty feet. They’re both little Japanese “tuner” cars, both far more garish than they were when they left the showroom, but you’ll be happy to hear that they both run and drive. Let’s see which flavor of crazy suits you better.
1997 Honda Civic – $4,990
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6-liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: Miami, FL
Odometer reading: 96,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Right up front, I have to admit that I’m a fan of this car’s paint job. It looks well-thought-out and well-done, and I like the style. It reminds me of one of the old “cel-shaded” Jet Set Radio games, which I was a huge fan of. We’ve seen this style before if you remember correctly, and I liked it then as well.
I have no idea what trim level of Civic this is, since that badging didn’t come along on the trip to Toon Town, but I’d guess it’s a garden-variety DX or LX. And I’d be surprised if the mechanical modifications go beyond bolt-on stuff. These Civics are more or less LEGO sets at this point, with all the interchangeable parts, so it’s hard to tell. The seller does say that it runs and drives well and that everything works, so whatever modifications were done were seemingly done properly.
The alterations continue inside as well, and I’m impressed that whoever built this car went to the trouble of replacing the back seats as well as the front. Of course, it has the requisite short-throw shifter and quick-release steering wheel. The door panel puzzles me; why remove the stock Civic panels? I admit I don’t know this scene very well, but is there a reason to ditch perfectly nice interior panels and replace them with whatever the hell that is?
I could do without the basket-handle rear spoiler and fart-cannon exhaust, but I guess they come with the territory. I can forgive it, though, for that unique and striking paint job. Some of you are going to hate it, I know, and that’s fine; we’re all friends here, even if you’re wrong.
1993 Mazda MX-5 Miata – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 1.6-liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: West Hollywood, CA
Odometer reading: 219,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives fine, but can’t be registered in California
Now this is a car I know well. I owned a 1991 Miata for eight years and took it apart so many times that I don’t think there was a single part I didn’t touch except the engine internals. That little 1.6-liter engine is just such a trooper – as long as you are careful to avoid the cracked crankshaft nose problem – that I never had to touch it. 237,000 miles and it ran like a top. But for some, the little 1.6 is just not enough power. Enter the aftermarket turbocharger.
These turbo kits have been around nearly as long as the Miata has, and everyone who has ever owned one, including me, has thought about it at some point. This seller actually did it, however, and didn’t stop there: it has an even bigger turbo, an aftermarket ECU to take advantage of it, an intercooler, and a host of other modifications. They also upgraded the brakes and suspension, and then, to top it all off, painted the whole thing bright purple.
Unfortunately, though the car wears Texas plates, it now resides in Los Angeles, and some of the modifications don’t have the all-important CARB seal of approval, so the car can’t be registered in California. It does run and drive well, and the seller says he drives it once in a while to keep the juices flowing. He suggests it might make a good track toy, but that really limits its appeal. To me, the two options are either take it back out of California or dial back the mods.
Cosmetically, it’s only okay. It has a body kit that’s not in great shape, and the interior looks more or less stock, and a bit grubby. It does, however, include the coveted factory hard top, finished in the same Grimace hue as the rest of the car. With NA Miata values now approaching truly ridiculous levels, I guess a modified but not trashed example like this isn’t a terrible buy.
As much as we all say “we want colorful cars,” there is a place and time for subdued vehicles. You probably don’t want to be the parent rolling up to the school pickup line in something that gives off the same vibe as Dooby’s Taxiola. But small, fun, cheap cars should be canvases for self-expression, and bright paint jobs are a great way to start. You’re not going to blend in, but you’ll definitely be remembered. Which one of these colorful characters does it for you?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I have wanted a purple Miata for a while, so this is easy
I have wanted a purple Miata for a while, so this is easy
Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out for something new
That means you, too
You say you want a small car
But you can’t seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah
Purple rain, purple rain, wooo!
If you know what I’m singing about up here
Come on, raise your hand
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah
I only want to see you
Only want to see you in the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out for something new
That means you, too
You say you want a small car
But you can’t seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah
Purple rain, purple rain, wooo!
If you know what I’m singing about up here
Come on, raise your hand
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah
I only want to see you
Only want to see you in the purple rain
Hm, I actually like both of them even if neither is something I would do or buy IRL. I feel I’m way too old for the Civic, I like purple, and the Miata is beat up enough to not worry, yet not trashed enough to be a POS, plus old enough that MA wouldn’t care about the turbo, so even if I’m uncomfortable in Miatas, that’s my pick.
Hm, I actually like both of them even if neither is something I would do or buy IRL. I feel I’m way too old for the Civic, I like purple, and the Miata is beat up enough to not worry, yet not trashed enough to be a POS, plus old enough that MA wouldn’t care about the turbo, so even if I’m uncomfortable in Miatas, that’s my pick.
Civic for me mainly because of the issues that Miata has. In the ad, the seller of the Miata states:
“The car’s idle is kind of finicky, can be solved by adjusting the tune but I haven’t had time
The speedometer doesn’t work, not sure if it’s due to an issue with the transmission or the cable connecting the gauge cluster to the transmission”
No thanks. Would rather have the Civic even if the engine has a stupid warm air intake and a driver door card that is much worse than stock.
Idle is likely because of the 1.6Ls weird IACV control and can be fixed by a competent tuner. The speedometer is most likely just a bad cable to the speed sensor like they said and would likely be an easy repair. I will say though, if those 2 issues were enough to dissuade you from the Miata it is probably best not to choose it.
If it was TRULY that simple and there weren’t any underlying issues, why didn’t the seller fix it before listing it for sale?
Those seemingly minor issues remaining unfixed suggests to me there is half-assery going on with that car.
For the price, I would expect little stuff. Both of those are fairly minor things and if they popped up right when the car was being listed for sale it wouldn’t be surprising for them to ignore it. I have bought a lot of cars cheap with extremely simple issues because the previous owner just had decided to sell and washed their hands of anything to do with fixing it.
Civic for me mainly because of the issues that Miata has. In the ad, the seller of the Miata states:
“The car’s idle is kind of finicky, can be solved by adjusting the tune but I haven’t had time
The speedometer doesn’t work, not sure if it’s due to an issue with the transmission or the cable connecting the gauge cluster to the transmission”
No thanks. Would rather have the Civic even if the engine has a stupid warm air intake and a driver door card that is much worse than stock.
Idle is likely because of the 1.6Ls weird IACV control and can be fixed by a competent tuner. The speedometer is most likely just a bad cable to the speed sensor like they said and would likely be an easy repair. I will say though, if those 2 issues were enough to dissuade you from the Miata it is probably best not to choose it.
If it was TRULY that simple and there weren’t any underlying issues, why didn’t the seller fix it before listing it for sale?
Those seemingly minor issues remaining unfixed suggests to me there is half-assery going on with that car.
For the price, I would expect little stuff. Both of those are fairly minor things and if they popped up right when the car was being listed for sale it wouldn’t be surprising for them to ignore it. I have bought a lot of cars cheap with extremely simple issues because the previous owner just had decided to sell and washed their hands of anything to do with fixing it.
This isn’t a choice. There is only one car here. The other is an abomination. Which one is which? The answer (in the poll) will be where we separate the rational from the… wrong.
This isn’t a choice. There is only one car here. The other is an abomination. Which one is which? The answer (in the poll) will be where we separate the rational from the… wrong.
I’m in a playful mood today and so I went with the Civic that has more colors than a Benetton store! 😉
I’m in a playful mood today and so I went with the Civic that has more colors than a Benetton store! 😉
Too bad the Civic wasn’t the hatchback. That interior is cool, and those seats are awesome.
I don’t live in California, so I voted for the purple Grimace car
Too bad the Civic wasn’t the hatchback. That interior is cool, and those seats are awesome.
I don’t live in California, so I voted for the purple Grimace car
Are those Bride seats, or did someone just stitch Bride fabric onto stock seats?
I think they’re Groom seats with Bride fabric.
:-p
Are those Bride seats, or did someone just stitch Bride fabric onto stock seats?
I think they’re Groom seats with Bride fabric.
:-p
Miata remains the answer
I can’t believe that 150+ people so far have forgotten that
Miata
Is
Always
The
Answer
Miata remains the answer
I can’t believe that 150+ people so far have forgotten that
Miata
Is
Always
The
Answer
Had to go with the Miata. Yes, I live in California, so some of those mods would have to go. But the Civic is a non-starter as a man of my status and regal bearing could not be seen in such a thing (i.e. I’m too freakin’ old to be driving a boy-racer-mobile like that).
Had to go with the Miata. Yes, I live in California, so some of those mods would have to go. But the Civic is a non-starter as a man of my status and regal bearing could not be seen in such a thing (i.e. I’m too freakin’ old to be driving a boy-racer-mobile like that).
No
Seconded. I hate them both.
No
Seconded. I hate them both.
Thought I was going to vote for the Miata. Turns out I was mistaken.
I’m with you. I really like the purple so much better than whatever Crayola-vomit is on the Honda. But I live in California and don’t want to take apart somebody else’s project to make it street-legal, plus the Mazda’s interior is just disgusting. With my $10 savings I could just rattlecan the Honda back to respectability.
Thought I was going to vote for the Miata. Turns out I was mistaken.
I’m with you. I really like the purple so much better than whatever Crayola-vomit is on the Honda. But I live in California and don’t want to take apart somebody else’s project to make it street-legal, plus the Mazda’s interior is just disgusting. With my $10 savings I could just rattlecan the Honda back to respectability.
Civic. Being a man in my 40s, I would look ridiculous driving this car. This is a car for the youths (although, I think I would have felt too old for this car when I was 16). While I acknowledge this car is ridiculous and juvenile, I would say it is ridiculous and juvenile in a good way. I love the paint job. It looks like it would be fun to drive. Again, I would look silly driving this thing, but darker window tint could fix that. Or a paper bag over my head. Or a Richard Nixon mask. Anything to obscure my identity would be adequate, really. I want to drive this car, but I don’t want to be seen driving this car.
I also like the Miata. An Miata in presentable condition for $5,000 seems like a decent deal. The turbo is a plus since I live in the free world and don’t have to deal with communistical emissions inspections. I’m concerned about how much it is modified, though. This thing could be a nightmare to fix when something inevitably goes wrong. I also don’t like pop-up headlights. If this car had fixed headlights and was closer to stock, I probably would have voted for it.
I’m 50 and I picked the Civic. And I too would look ridiculous driving it… and I’m fine with that. I actually like that paint job too. The only thing I would change is to reinstall a stock door card for the driver’s door.