SUVs (Spectacularly Ugly Vehicles): 2003 Honda Pilot vs 1986 Ford Bronco II

Good morning! I’m writing this from a motel in Springfield, Ohio, after a grueling day including 100 miles through the worst rainstorm I’ve seen in years. I’m beat, but the show must go on, as they say, so here are a couple more vehicles chosen by my better half.

Yesterday, we looked at a couple of cheap reliable beaters from Iowa. I figured the Honda minivan would win; J-bodies are a hard sell with you lot. Personally, I’d take the Sunfire, if I was just looking for a cheap way to get around; it’s not a very nice car, but it’s reliable, efficient, and cheap and easy to fix if something does go wrong.

But if you need more space than a small two-door coupe affords, the Odyssey would be a good choice as well. You should be able to get $2,000 worth of use out of it before the transmission shits the bed again.

Today, Erika has found a couple of cosmetically-challenged SUVs for you to consider. One is ugly on the inside, the other on the outside, but both at least will get you home. Let’s check them out.

2003 Honda Pilot EX – $1,999

Engine/drivetrain: 3.5 liter overhead cam V6, five-speed automatic, part-time 4WD

Location: Indianapolis, IN

Odometer reading: 160,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Oddly enough, this Honda Pilot is pretty similar mechanically to yesterday’s winning Odyssey. It has the same 3.5 liter V6, and the same fragile automatic transmission, but the Pilot adds four-wheel-drive. The front wheels are driven normally, but the rears kick in if the fronts start to slip. You can also lock it in 4WD with a button on the dash. It’s not what you want for off-roading, but for snow, it’s just the ticket.

This Pilot runs and drives well, according to the seller, but it has led a hard life. The interior is ripped and stained, most of the power locks don’t work, and the whole car just has an overall feeling of tiredness. There’s no mention of the transmission’s condition one way or another, but it’s a question worth asking.

One of the Pilot’s claims to fame is that it came with three rows of seats. This is great if you need the seating, but a waste of valuable cargo space if you don’t. It looks like the seller of this one left the rear seats folded down most of the time, and transported something messy back there.

It’s hard for me to find much to say about this car, actually. It’s a completely nondescript family car, an NPC vehicle if there ever was one. But I suppose that has its advantages: Such an invisible vehicle would make a great getaway car. And it’s got room for the whole crew!

1986 Ford Bronco II – $1,900

Engine/drivetrain: 2.9 liter overhead valve V6, five-speed manual, part-time 4WD

Location: New Albany, OH

Odometer reading: 51,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives great

The Bronco II was Ford’s answer to the Chevy S-10 Blazer and GMC S-15 Jimmy, which debuted the same year. It’s based on the Ford Ranger pickup, and powered by Ford’s “Cologne” V6. Earlier models made do with a carbureted 2.8 liter engine, but in 1986 the Bronco II received the updated 2.9 liter version, with electronic fuel injection.

It’s equipped with a five-speed manual and four-wheel-drive, as they all should have been. Yes, you could get a 2WD Bronco II for a while. Weirdly, the 2WD ones still have a transfer case housing like the 4WD ones; it’s just empty. This one, however, has fully functional 4WD, and the seller says it works just fine.

In fact, mechanically, this thing seems to be in tip-top condition, and the seller offers photographic proof in the ad. Here we see this Bronco II rolling down the freeway, admittedly only at 55 MPH, but the steering wheel is straight, and the gauges all appear to work. I’m not sure how prudent or safe it was for the seller to snap a photo like this while driving, but it does get the point across.

However, not all is well in Bronco-land. This truck was used as a snowplow, and as such, it bears the scars of a lot of Ohio winters. The frame is solid, according to the seller, but there’s a lot of rust in the sheetmetal. The latches on the driver’s door and the tailgate also need some work. But if you want a perfect Bronco II, you’re going to pay a lot more for it.

Beauty is only skin-deep, they say; it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Well, one of these has some pretty rough skin, but is actually nice on the inside. The other is uglier inside, but has a nice inoffensive incognito exterior. Which one is more important to you?

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)