Hey you! Yeah, you there on the internet! Have you ever wanted to learn a fact that has absolutely no practical value? Do you want to know something that will never show up during even the weirdest trivia nights? Well, I have some Autopian for you, and we spend a lot of time researching things that you’ll never actually need to know. Your brain’s hard drive is going to get filled up with stuff you’ll only spit out in a conversation with your spouse, and they probably cannot be bothered to care.
Our site has a surprising number of useless fact-style articles. Today, Jason Torchinsky revealed that he figured out [Editor’s Note: It was a reader who figured it out, not me! — JT] where the photos for that weird Honda brochure were probably taken. Where on Earth are you going to find a European street with signs in French and what appears to be stereotypical German people? It was not Alsace, a part of France with a lot of German influence, though that was a good guess.
Instead, it was almost certainly on Universal Studios’ European Street backlot, which makes a ton of sense. Why ship an American Honda overseas when a backlot will work?
Unfortunately, knowing this isn’t really useful. I hope storing this information on your brain drive didn’t result in the deletion of something cool, like knowing calculus or something. Since we had a holiday, I’m giving out two COTDs today. ChefCJ made me giggle with the first line of this comment:
A. This is a fantastically useless piece of information, which is the best kind of information
B. Jason, you’re sleeping on The Good Place. It’s pretty much a perfect show. Every season is the best season, and the last episode is maybe the best finale I’ve ever seen. I still think about it from time to time
Unfortunately, I’ve never seen The Good Place, so I could not vouch for how good or not it is. If you’re interested in learning useless information, Jason is the king of it. One of his pieces was about a bizarre Mobil gas station ad:
See also: Taillight Donuts
Also also, Jason invented a new (and very bad) way to remove batteries from electric vehicles:
Finally, for a throwback, Jason also once wrote an entirely fake history about how the Grumman LLV was almost a convertible. And you know what? One day, I was writing a story about the Grumman LLV and at first, I sourced that article! Dagnabbit, Jason!
For our second COTD today, Sid Bridge wins with an old but still funny joke about discovering turn signals in a BMW:
My father bought a BMW and found this weird stalk sticking out from the steering column. Still not sure what it does.
So, dear friends, hit up our archives, learn something new and totally pointless for your day-to-day operations, and go annoy someone with those facts.
I got comment of the day! Only a few dozen things to go and I can die happy
In all seriousness though, The Good Place rules and you all should watch it
The Good Place is an awesome show, and for once is not a reboot/rehash of the same old shit. I still love and quote the episode where Chidi sees “the time knife” hahaha
I just want to say that I am never annoyed by Mercy telling me facts I did not know. But that’s because the facts she tells me are much, much more interesting than the law facts I tell her.
Replevin.
So, is there a lost episode where we learn that after about 83 million reboots, Derek is obsessed with taillights?
My favorite piece of useless information isn’t car-related, but I still hope it’s appropriate to post it here.
George Washington wasn’t born on his birthday.
That must have been confusing for him as a child. 🙂
The most useless piece of trivia I know, guaranteed to make beautiful young women walk away from me at parties?
Before the arrival of the Europeans, the forests of New England and the upper Midwest had no earthworms. At least not since the last Ice Age.
They were introduced by the settlers at Jamestown Virginia in 1610 and have spread from there. They even pin the blame on one guy, by name!
Jamestown: How John Rolfe, Tobacco and Worms Changed the Landscape of America
https://www.pennlive.com/americanhistory101/2008/02/jamestown_how_john_rolfe_tobac.html
Nice linking of previous articles there.
The COTD post is the perfect place for that.
Whoever’s idea that was, you’re a genius.
COTD is the perfect way to wind down coverage and reflect on the fun stories of the day.
Adding links to past articles is great for us kids that always need to read one more chapter before bed.
Your haiku could use some work. 😉
For the record: I don’t LOVE the headline ending with a preposition.
Your supposition is the preposition could lose its position?
Sometimes that’s the only headline you can think of. It’s hardly worth complaining about.
A preposition is a perfectly fine thing to end a headline with.
WTF is a preposition?
It’s when you’re driving really slowly down a dark lane in the park around midnight, and a beautiful woman in high heels and a short, short mini mini skirt walks up to your car window and she turns out to be a librarian….
Shower spaghetti guy is critiquing grammar now? Plank and mote, dude.
Who would have thought that someone who will drive sitting on a bucket on rusty floorboards would such a stickler?
The Autopian, Your Home For Learning Useless Facts With Which To Annoy Your Spouse
Grammatically better, but is it really better?
That topshot is @#$%^& perfect! *chef’s kiss”
Yup. It elicits a particular response for me from deep down in my cerebellum, or maybe something closer to my olfactory nerve (the stuffy nose of memory).
When I look at it I can’t help but think something along the lines of..
“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”
I’m kind of assuming that’s why his son is named Otto. 🙂
Also Kristen Bell’s Autopian sweater (?) is excellent.