Good morning! On this special Friday edition, we’re asking the question “why shitboxes?” by pitting all of this week’s four winners against a single challenger for the exact same price. Is it better to have a fleet of cheap clunkers than one modern-ish reliable all-rounder? We’ll see.
First, we need to know what our fourth winner is, and to my slight surprise and absolute delight, it’s the Audi.
I do still think it would be fun to own a manual shark-nose BMW for a while, and that 528e isn’t a terrible deal at all, but up against that Audi, it doesn’t stand a chance, at least for me. Nor with most of you, it seems.
I personally own three cars: a 1971 MGB GT, a 1989 Chevy K1500 Cheyenne, and a 2013 Chrysler 300C. The Chrysler is a nice, sensible, modern car, but the only reason I have it is that I inherited it from my father. The car it replaced in my fleet, a 1995 Toyota Corolla, was absolutely a shitbox, and a damn fine one at that. Boring as hell, yes, but dead-reliable, cheap to run and insure, and a car I felt no qualms about parking anywhere. If I didn’t have the Chrysler, I’d be driving another cheap old car, I’m sure. And my plan is to rack up a good couple hundred thousand miles on Dad’s old ride, so with a little luck, it will be a shitbox someday too.
And my trio obviously pales in comparison to some of the fleets owned by writers here. Ask Mercedes how many cars she has, and she has to think for a minute. David has crappy old cars stashed all over the world. And Gossin’s going to have to apply for a dealer’s license pretty soon, the way he buys and sells. And like me, I’m sure they’ve all been asked the same question by non-car-people friends: “Wouldn’t you just be better off with one good car?”
The answer is obvious to us: No. I need all of them. Each one serves a different purpose, and no one car can cover all that ground. Besides, if you have one car and it breaks down, you’re taking the bus. If you have multiple cars, just grab a different set of keys. But is it really that obvious? To find out, we’re going to lump all four of this week’s winning cars into a package deal, and compare them heads-to head against one car the exact same price. Will the constant needs of the many outweigh the reliability and economy of the one? You decide.
1977 Chevy C10 Bonanza – $3,999
The first vehicle in our foursome is the oldest, and also the most expensive: a picture-perfect example of a classic “squarebody” Chevrolet pickup truck. It has the venerable 350 small-block V8, two-tone paint (three if you count the surface rust), and gobs of character. It’s also a reliable runner, and more than able to earn its keep hauling stuff around.
2003 Pontiac Bonneville – $1,700
Next up is another General Motors product, this time a full-size front-wheel-drive sedan from GM’s coolest former brand: Pontiac. They may not have always built excitement, but in this case they built a pretty nice ride. It’s powered by another famous hunk of cast iron, the Buick-designed 3800 Series II V6. This one spent its life in the upper Midwest, so it may have some rust issues, but it runs like a champ.
1978 Chrysler New Yorker – $2,500
Did I call that Bonneville “full size”? Excuse me; I was mistaken. This ’78 Chrysler makes it look like a toy. You’re looking at more than nineteen feet of good old American steel, slapped together on a shoestring budget by the perpetual underdog of the Big Three, in perhaps its darkest hour. And yet, here it sits, with a good-running 440 under the hood and red tufted seats that would do a bordello waiting room proud. It has been sitting for years, so it needs some work, but you could have it sailing down the highway in no time.
1985 Audi 5000S – $2,400
Last, but certainly not least, may I present The Art Of Engineering: Audi’s infamous 5000S sedan. Designed to be a world-class highway car, and done dirty by a media hatchet job, this sleek German land missile has racked up 260,000 miles, proving the naysayers wrong. Sudden acceleration? You’re damn right. No, it’s not a turbo, but it still has enough pull to effortlessly sustain triple-digit speeds. And it’s a five-speed, the only manual of the bunch, so you get to have some fun along the way.
If my math is correct, that brings our grand total for all four cars to $10,599. What sort of “normie” car can you get for that much money? Let’s see.
2012 Nissan Versa S – $10,599
Engine/drivetrain: 1.8 liter dual overhead can inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Boise, ID
Odometer reading: 119,000 miles
Runs/drives? I should hope so
I’m pretty pleased that I was able to match the dollar amount exactly. I wasn’t sure where to look for a car like this; Craigslist seemed like a bad choice, Facebook even worse, and I couldn’t waste a bunch of time searching every dealer’s inventory. Then I remembered Carmax – the 800-pound gorilla in the used car game. No-haggle pricing, clean and inviting dealerships, and a huge inventory make Carmax a popular choice for people who don’t really care about cars. And here it is – a car no one really cares about. I had to screen-shot the photos to get them off Carmax’s website in a useable format; please ignore the “back/next” arrows.
I actually have some experience with the Versa; I’ve rented a couple of them. You probably have, too. It’s a perfectly acceptable car to drive for thirty bucks a day for a few days. It goes, it stops, it turns, it carries stuff. The air conditioning is cold and the stereo turns radio waves or digital files into sounds. It’s fine. This one is an S model, which is one of the trim levels offered, and it has a 1.8 liter engine that turns a small amount of fuel into a commensurate amount of horsepower, and a normal automatic transmission instead of a CVT. At least, I think it does, based on the shifter, but Carmax isn’t really clear; the listing just says “automatic.”
This actually felt like one of the better choices available for the price. There was a whole batallion of Kias and Hyundais, mostly with the self-grenading engine option, and several Ford Focuses and Fiestas burdened with that awful PowerShift transmission. The Versa is boring, but it’s probably better built than the other options. This one has 119,000 miles on it, which seems like a lot for the price, but if you buy a car from Carmax, you’re not just paying for the car. You’re paying for the infrastructure, the no-haggle sales experience, and the ostensibly thorough pre-purchase inspection and certification. It’s like going to the mall – it’s the same old boring stuff everyone else has, but it’s a known quantity.
I did try to find a more interesting color than fog-gray, but apart from a red Fiesta and a blue Kia something-or-other, every car in their inventory was monochrome. I do like the greenish seats in this one. I wish I knew if they were supposed to be green, or if they started out gray and slowly faded to green in protest. Either way, it’s kinda cool. I mean, for a Versa.
There’s nothing wrong with the Versa, and I wouldn’t fault anybody for simply choosing it, or something like it, over a whole drivewayful of older, cheaper cars. I’ve tried that path before myself, and I was bored silly. But if all you need is a way to get around, and something to carry that papesan chair home from World Market, any little hatchback like this will do. It will start every morning and be easy to park and not use much fuel. Life will be good. But some of us, I’m afraid, just can’t do it. We need a beat-up old pickup truck, and a big land yacht sedan to impress the folks at Cars & Coffee, and the fussy German classic to tinker with, and also a sensible but old “normal” car for daily use. Having that many cars either makes no sense, or perfect sense, depending on the sort of person you are. So which sort are you?
(Image credits: Versa – Carmax; all others – Craigslist sellers)
I’d pay 10.5 for the Audi alone over the Versa. What CP deal is this???
Fleet, truck/beater commuter/scrap metal/project sedan. Perfect.
I too, am an Admiral of a fleet of cheap cars. It really is a life style choice. I often have more than one broken car. And between cost, motivation and parts availability it can add up to an inoperable junk yard real quick. With that said, life is more interesting when mundane task sometimes become fun adventures of roadside repair and a game of will it work to get me home? The Versa all though a perfectly fine car just doesn’t have the same excitement of risking it. Give me the sweet life on deck of my own personal shit box fleet.
Give me the basket of fun.
The Versa is too expensive but vs a fleet of cars that will require a large investment of time and money to keep and maintain I think I’d still choose it.
I’ve tried the fleet option before having an Infiniti G35 Coupe + Sedan, Hyundai Tiburon and my wife’s RAV4 but found that it can quickly get overwhelming when something needs to be repaired (not to mention the insurance on 4 vehicles was too much). Now that we have a child I have basically no free time to waste messing around with four cars in the garage so I got rid of both of the Infiniti’s and bought a 3 year old truck to have a minimum of 2 newer and reliable vehicles at all times and it’s working so far.
This is awesome and creative! (Even though I’ll always pick the multiple Shitbox option so I can eventually have my own junkyard “field”…this makes it interesting) Also, almost fell back asleep just reading about the Versa since it’s so boring and bland
For eleven grand, I’d probably make a choice somewhere in between. Perhaps a late 90’s or early 00’s Audi A6 with a manual transmission with 50k and a stack of receipts.
I should have bought a Nissan Versa in 2012 for $11,000, drove it for 13 years, and then I could have sold it to some fool for near what I paid for it.
The problem is, the original purchaser probably paid over twice that between the 12 percent interest and 96 month financing that they did to get their payment to the number they needed. Plus they probably rolled in the remainder of their previous car loan into the deal.
Vote for the fleet here.
That Versa is 2X more expensive than it should be. There’s a great condition, 90k Versa for sale in suburban Colorado for $5.5k right now
The Versa has become today’s 1990’s Corolla.
A simple car that cars for a fair price that is unlikely to need repairs.
No contest here – the price on that Versa is shameful and I simply won’t (fake) pay it.
I *might* have taken the Versa, but then an old jam from Naughty by Nature popped into my fevered brain:
You down with CVT?
Oh no, not me!
You down with CVT?
No NO NOT ME!
If it had a manual, maaaaaaybe. If it had a 2.5 swap (if that’s even a thing) then probably.
Those alternate lyrics are priceless! You just made my day…Thanks!
My son did us all a favor when he flipped and totaled our similar Nissan Versa, ending its miserable existence. May it R.I.P. — Rust in Pieces.
Rust In Peace, you say?
*intro riff to Take No Prisoners intensifies*
Hell yeah!
Dude yesssssss
I don’t know if you could have stacked the deck any more for the fleet option. We ended up with a pretty well-rounded group this week with little overlap. Each can be argued to be a good tool for a specific job. On top of that, you are posing the question to a group with a sizable contingent of car hoarders. Counter to what your teacher told you, there is such a thing as a dumb question.
Yeah, even the writing was pushing the fleet option. No semblance of neutrality whatsoever. I went with the fleet though I’d never bring that Chrysler home… just donate it to the Autopian so they could swap the 440 into Torch’s RV.
Neh-ver Nissan. Why do you keep asking us to choose these shitty Nissans over and over??
Not only is that Versa’s price choke-on-my-coffee ridiculous, but its a Nissan and it just looks so hopeless. This coming from the guy who’s taken a second glance at Prius V wagons, so I know a thing or two about hopeless. Bring on the fleet, at least it’ll have more character combined than that Versa.
$10.5K for a freaking Versa with 120K miles? Now I know why CarMax is in trouble.
I’ll take the fleet. Sell off some to pay for refurbing the others/Square body
Yeah the only think I’d buy from Carmax is stock required after short selling it now.
PFT! Give me the fleet. I guess I better stock up on Rotella T.
Your average person is going to go Versa every time, but we Autopians will rarely if ever make the safe, sensible choice. Plus, Versas of that era sold for under $10k new. That price is obscene!
I remember when “cash for clunkers” was in full swing. These are the poster child for that program. You could get a brand new car for around $6k after the government rebate which is a phenomenal deal on paper. Pour one out for the fallen shitboxes traded in and immobilized for stuff like this. RIP.
Yes, pour one out for sure…can you imagine how much some of those would be worth? Certain models that are valuable today. Yes, quite a few were true rusty shitboxes and I understand the whole point was to reduce emissions and improve MPG…but some of the more valuable models could have been restored. At least some of the parts lived on through salvage. It just goes back to Stephen Walter Gossin’s philosophy of saving and extending the life of decent cars in a wasteful, throwaway society.
Yeahmy Vehicross is very low on used parts. Even if the government didn’t make the mechanics available in the used market how about body and interior parts?
Indeed. I think I heard somewhere that a high-ranking congressperson scored a Grand National out of that program. I agree on the salvage parts. Having a running car (even a shitbox) to get you to work is such a game changer for folks and salvage parts are essential to keeping shitboxes running. I’d love to start a charity garage to help less fortunate people keep their rides functioning safely and provide basic transportation to people struggling.
According to this Argonne figures it takes the energy equivalent of 260/325 (ICE/Hybrid) gallons of gasoline to make a new car:
https://www.sierraclub.org/sierra/green-life/2013/10/ask-mr-green-how-much-energy-make-new-car
If true it won’t take long to reap the energy benefit and probably much less to reap the emissions benefits. Car factories typically don’t get their energy from gasoline. They might not even get it from fossil fuels at all. If so the savings are immediate.
On top of better typical factory MPG modern cars stay in tune longer, burn less oil and have TPMS systems to nag drivers about fuel robbing low tire pressure so they tend to keep their optimal MPG and emissions unlike a poorly maintained clunker which may have heavy smoking and drinking problems.
Yeah, newer ones are much more efficient…it’s just that there were probably a few certain models that were more valuable that got crushed when they could have been restored, that’s all
Of course. Its a damn shame some of the better examples of those couldn’t have been saved. I expect it won’t be too long before EV retromodding will be a feasible low cost option for say a malaise era luxobarges making them the cars they should always have been.
I don’t expect hydrogen to ever be a feasible option for retromods but were there to be huge breakthroughs in zeolite storage and renewable gas production running those old engines tuned for hydrogen would be a way to clean them up.
OTOH how many vintage rides do you really need running around? Modern cars are not only more efficient, they’re way safer too. The folks who just need a beater are much better off with a cheap, modern car. Even if it does cost a bit more up front the lower costs of ownership should balance out pretty quick.
Of the options presented, it has to be the fleet.
In general though, if you decline to pay the Carmax tax, you can find a much better vehicle than that Versa for $10,500 and that in turn would be my choice.
I think just about ANY vehicle private party at 10.5k would be a better option, and yeah I’d absolutely take that route myself, but dang the Carmax tax is bad these days.
I’d take the fleet and sell them off one at a time as needed to keep the C10 running.
The AUDACITY of Carmax to sell an 11 year old Versa with 120k miles for 10.5k is astounding, this is at best a 6k car and that’s being extremely generous. Weren’t these being sold new for close to 12k back in the day? I get the used market is still rough but it’s not THIS BAD
I’ll take the hooptie haul because at least the resale on them won’t go down much more, and collectively will be far more reliable than a decade old CVT Nissan that depreciates 50% after you drive off the lot.
I believe this Versa has a traditional 4 speed slusher. That being said I am equally appalled at the audacity of the price. This is a car that a 5 grand cash offer should be considered for.
A quick google search says the 4-speed on this one, but CVT on the “1.8 SL” trim above this one which sounds awful. I had a friend a few years ago with one of these with the 4-speed and it was an utter pile that constantly broke down, and it had less mileage than this one. What an utter waste of money, but you know what they say, there’s a sucker born every minute.
Oh you couldn’t pay me to touch a used Nissan. In fact I don’t think I’d consider any of their products outside of a Z or an Infiniti that I got an incredible deal on (you can find decent used Q50 and 60 Red Sports in the 30s and they’re a lot of car once they’ve depreciated). They’re not reliable, their reputation lives at rock bottom, and unfortunately due to the fact that their business model is dependent on subprime financing there’s a good chance that a used one has been ridden hard and put away wet.
It also doesn’t help that probably 90% of the antisocial driving I encounter is being perpetrated by a Nissan driver. Big Altima Energy is real but folks sleep on how much havoc a Talltima (Rogue) can wreak. They’re driven just as manically as Altimas but they’re bigger and less stable…
I get that the used car market has gone absolutely batshit insane recently but the fact that a goddamn 2012 Versa with six figure mileage is a 5 figure car right now is not a reality that I choose to accept. I reject your reality and substitute my own. Hooptie Squad all day.
You son of a bitch. I’m in. Give me the scrap heap.
Pretty sure that C10 will run forever, and the bonneville could be fun?