Good morning! On this special Friday edition, we’re asking the question “why shitboxes?” by pitting all of this week’s four winners against a single challenger for the exact same price. Is it better to have a fleet of cheap clunkers than one modern-ish reliable all-rounder? We’ll see.
First, we need to know what our fourth winner is, and to my slight surprise and absolute delight, it’s the Audi.
I do still think it would be fun to own a manual shark-nose BMW for a while, and that 528e isn’t a terrible deal at all, but up against that Audi, it doesn’t stand a chance, at least for me. Nor with most of you, it seems.
I personally own three cars: a 1971 MGB GT, a 1989 Chevy K1500 Cheyenne, and a 2013 Chrysler 300C. The Chrysler is a nice, sensible, modern car, but the only reason I have it is that I inherited it from my father. The car it replaced in my fleet, a 1995 Toyota Corolla, was absolutely a shitbox, and a damn fine one at that. Boring as hell, yes, but dead-reliable, cheap to run and insure, and a car I felt no qualms about parking anywhere. If I didn’t have the Chrysler, I’d be driving another cheap old car, I’m sure. And my plan is to rack up a good couple hundred thousand miles on Dad’s old ride, so with a little luck, it will be a shitbox someday too.
And my trio obviously pales in comparison to some of the fleets owned by writers here. Ask Mercedes how many cars she has, and she has to think for a minute. David has crappy old cars stashed all over the world. And Gossin’s going to have to apply for a dealer’s license pretty soon, the way he buys and sells. And like me, I’m sure they’ve all been asked the same question by non-car-people friends: “Wouldn’t you just be better off with one good car?”
The answer is obvious to us: No. I need all of them. Each one serves a different purpose, and no one car can cover all that ground. Besides, if you have one car and it breaks down, you’re taking the bus. If you have multiple cars, just grab a different set of keys. But is it really that obvious? To find out, we’re going to lump all four of this week’s winning cars into a package deal, and compare them heads-to head against one car the exact same price. Will the constant needs of the many outweigh the reliability and economy of the one? You decide.
1977 Chevy C10 Bonanza – $3,999
The first vehicle in our foursome is the oldest, and also the most expensive: a picture-perfect example of a classic “squarebody” Chevrolet pickup truck. It has the venerable 350 small-block V8, two-tone paint (three if you count the surface rust), and gobs of character. It’s also a reliable runner, and more than able to earn its keep hauling stuff around.
2003 Pontiac Bonneville – $1,700
Next up is another General Motors product, this time a full-size front-wheel-drive sedan from GM’s coolest former brand: Pontiac. They may not have always built excitement, but in this case they built a pretty nice ride. It’s powered by another famous hunk of cast iron, the Buick-designed 3800 Series II V6. This one spent its life in the upper Midwest, so it may have some rust issues, but it runs like a champ.
1978 Chrysler New Yorker – $2,500
Did I call that Bonneville “full size”? Excuse me; I was mistaken. This ’78 Chrysler makes it look like a toy. You’re looking at more than nineteen feet of good old American steel, slapped together on a shoestring budget by the perpetual underdog of the Big Three, in perhaps its darkest hour. And yet, here it sits, with a good-running 440 under the hood and red tufted seats that would do a bordello waiting room proud. It has been sitting for years, so it needs some work, but you could have it sailing down the highway in no time.
1985 Audi 5000S – $2,400
Last, but certainly not least, may I present The Art Of Engineering: Audi’s infamous 5000S sedan. Designed to be a world-class highway car, and done dirty by a media hatchet job, this sleek German land missile has racked up 260,000 miles, proving the naysayers wrong. Sudden acceleration? You’re damn right. No, it’s not a turbo, but it still has enough pull to effortlessly sustain triple-digit speeds. And it’s a five-speed, the only manual of the bunch, so you get to have some fun along the way.
If my math is correct, that brings our grand total for all four cars to $10,599. What sort of “normie” car can you get for that much money? Let’s see.
2012 Nissan Versa S – $10,599
Engine/drivetrain: 1.8 liter dual overhead can inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Boise, ID
Odometer reading: 119,000 miles
Runs/drives? I should hope so
I’m pretty pleased that I was able to match the dollar amount exactly. I wasn’t sure where to look for a car like this; Craigslist seemed like a bad choice, Facebook even worse, and I couldn’t waste a bunch of time searching every dealer’s inventory. Then I remembered Carmax – the 800-pound gorilla in the used car game. No-haggle pricing, clean and inviting dealerships, and a huge inventory make Carmax a popular choice for people who don’t really care about cars. And here it is – a car no one really cares about. I had to screen-shot the photos to get them off Carmax’s website in a useable format; please ignore the “back/next” arrows.
I actually have some experience with the Versa; I’ve rented a couple of them. You probably have, too. It’s a perfectly acceptable car to drive for thirty bucks a day for a few days. It goes, it stops, it turns, it carries stuff. The air conditioning is cold and the stereo turns radio waves or digital files into sounds. It’s fine. This one is an S model, which is one of the trim levels offered, and it has a 1.8 liter engine that turns a small amount of fuel into a commensurate amount of horsepower, and a normal automatic transmission instead of a CVT. At least, I think it does, based on the shifter, but Carmax isn’t really clear; the listing just says “automatic.”
This actually felt like one of the better choices available for the price. There was a whole batallion of Kias and Hyundais, mostly with the self-grenading engine option, and several Ford Focuses and Fiestas burdened with that awful PowerShift transmission. The Versa is boring, but it’s probably better built than the other options. This one has 119,000 miles on it, which seems like a lot for the price, but if you buy a car from Carmax, you’re not just paying for the car. You’re paying for the infrastructure, the no-haggle sales experience, and the ostensibly thorough pre-purchase inspection and certification. It’s like going to the mall – it’s the same old boring stuff everyone else has, but it’s a known quantity.
I did try to find a more interesting color than fog-gray, but apart from a red Fiesta and a blue Kia something-or-other, every car in their inventory was monochrome. I do like the greenish seats in this one. I wish I knew if they were supposed to be green, or if they started out gray and slowly faded to green in protest. Either way, it’s kinda cool. I mean, for a Versa.
There’s nothing wrong with the Versa, and I wouldn’t fault anybody for simply choosing it, or something like it, over a whole drivewayful of older, cheaper cars. I’ve tried that path before myself, and I was bored silly. But if all you need is a way to get around, and something to carry that papesan chair home from World Market, any little hatchback like this will do. It will start every morning and be easy to park and not use much fuel. Life will be good. But some of us, I’m afraid, just can’t do it. We need a beat-up old pickup truck, and a big land yacht sedan to impress the folks at Cars & Coffee, and the fussy German classic to tinker with, and also a sensible but old “normal” car for daily use. Having that many cars either makes no sense, or perfect sense, depending on the sort of person you are. So which sort are you?
(Image credits: Versa – Carmax; all others – Craigslist sellers)
By 2012 it was getting on in years, but this gen of Versa was reviewed well for the time. The gen after that – starting with the 2012 sedan, as they divulged this model year, took a step backwards in a number of ways, at the same time as other vehicles in the segment stepped up – even GM and Ford with the Sonic and Fiesta (comparing just on a product level, not like reliability *cough Powershift*). The S & Special Edition is said to have the 4-speed auto, so no CVT concerns there.
I’ll take the fleet just because I really like the Audi, and the Versa’s price will buy you a nicer Camry or something of similar vintage probably even with less miles, outside of Carmax.
I just want the Bonnie. Comfortable, and super reliable.
I lost most of the face-offs this week, but I’d still take the fleet over the Versa. Not because it’s so terrible, but it’s not a car I’d buy for $11k with 120k miles. The challenge is a little dependent on each person’s condition: if you can really only house 1 vehicle, and need it to daily drive, the Versa would fit you better. But if you’ve got some space, take the fleet. In my case, the Chevy truck works, the Chrysler is low-end luxury, I could take a chance on the Audi, and skip or sell the Bonneville to come out ahead.
I am honestly amazed the Versa CVT managed to get past the 80K mark. it has to be on it’s last legs…honestly I am surprised Carmax is that desperate to have entertained selling that hot garbage.
Had a coworker three years ago who had a 58 mile commute to work each day. He had a nearly identical Versa, but in blue. He had absolutely nothing good to say about the thing except it was reliable and got good fuel mileage. He hit some black ice in it and totalled it in a ditch, and two days later had another identical Versa, but in a dark grey. He still had nothing good to say about his new Versa, but buying a second one seemed like high praise.
I’ll take the fleet of hoopties myself.
I would imagine his had a manual trans.
Nope, both were automatics. The first one had well over 200k on it, though I have no idea how many transmissions had been in it, and the second one he bought with just under 100k on it. To his credit, he was good about routine maintenance.
The overpriced Versa for me. I can’t justify being “part of the problem” and rationalizing four charming, but resource-hogging, vehicles at this stage of my life.
But I totally get how one’s mileage doth vary.
And I can see the Versa is getting clobbered; c’est la guerre.
My intrusive thoughts tell me to pick the Versa, but only so I can unleash my true Nissan Driver potential
Gooood…..
My need for the many outweighs my need for the few, or the one.
I wanted that Audi so bad it isn’t funny.
Do the right thing. Take the Versa and part it out.
I’ve had this conversation with various members of my extended family several times. I used to frequently get the “Why don’t you just sell all of those cars and get something nice?”. To which I would respond along the lines of “If I sold my fleet, I could buy a used Ford Focus at retail… yay “. The truth is, they all buy on payments and think I spend a lot more money on cars than I actually do.
I did have a fleet similar to this at one point – it included a ’94 F-150, a ’94 Bonneville, a ’71 Sedan deVille, and a ’93 Mercedes 300 E. Work truck, Bonneville, 70’s land yacht, German sedan. Total cost was $5300. Way more fun than any single car at a comparative price, and I was never left stranded.
No way I’m paying $10k for a worse version of my beloved Honda Fit (Sport, in purple, the correct choice). $10k for four dubious choices that at least have a purpose outside of utility seems like a more fun option. (I’d get rid of the Chrysler and still consider the other three to be worth it)
If these five vehicles were my only choices I’d pick the Versa. As the article says, it’ll do it all. Sometimes a jack of all trades is superior to having masters of everything. Keeping it up won’t be a constant struggle like the fleet listed above. And with gas the way it is getting high 20’s fuel economy will be way better than an average of about 15.
I simply do not have room for four more vehicles in addition to the [mumbles a suspiciously non-single-digit-sounding number] that I already have, so four more it is!
I imagine a Versa buyer’s primary concern is reliability. For them a car failure is a crisis, not an inconvenience. I can’t see having 4 pieces of shit being an improvement.
That said, how is a 12-year-old Versa worth over $10,000??
Also I’ll take the driveway full of junk, please
A Versa with a 12 year old CVT is not going to be reliable and when that fails, it will mechanically total the vehicle. I don’t think a regular (planetary) automatic was available in the Versa.
Even in 2023 you can get a better car than the versa at that price.
Continuously vapid transmission?
I’ll take the crap pile thanks.
I don’t even need the fleet. I’d take any one of the shitboxes over the Versa, in the following order:
The spare $6500+ will cover plenty of repairs to keep any of the far more interesting shitboxes-with-loads-more-character-than-the-appliance-Versa on the road.
Also Mark, and this gets into my pedantic side, can I just say “thank you” for referring to your ’89 Chevy by it’s proper name, K1500, instead of just calling it a “Silverado” like everyone else seems to be doing these days with old Chevy trucks.
In a dream world, I would have a small fleet of interesting (to me anyway) cars, some to keep long term and some to drive and work on for a bit before reselling for something else interesting. I would also have room for said fleet. Maybe one day.
For now, I have my One Good Car–a low mileage 2014 Sportwagen TDI, and my eternal project car–a 1972 Super Beetle.
I already have a fleet of 6 cars with a combined worth of *maybe* one cheap new car, so I’m gonna do the right thing and add another 4 cars to my fleet.
This stirs up some feelings for me. My Dad, who was a car/motorcycle guy all his life, ended up leasing a Versa(in silver!) as his 2nd to last car, which had some issues with the climate system so he ‘upgraded’ to a Sentra(also in grey!) for his last car. And I just hope that when it’s my time, there’ll be something with a little more personality sitting in the driveway. Currently we’ve got a Forester and a Bolt so definitely not looking good at this point.
My niece dailies a Versa. It’s as uninspiring a car as you could hope for, truly a rental-only model…but she loves it. It does nothing surprising, gets her from here to there and back again, every damn day. She treats it exactly like a dishwasher, putting in what needs to be in, getting out what needs to be out, every day, and no questions asked. And it does exactly what it says on the box: it commutes her out and back. Runs errands. Is cheap. When your expectations are low, it delivers reliably, endlessly.
Yeah, it’s pretty bland. So what? What she needs it to do is bland. Boom, done. No questions asked, no quarter given.
I mean, I wouldn’t have one but if it’s what you need, there it is.
IRL I’m a one-car guy, but it’s a lot fucking better/more interesting than that Versa. Yuck.
There have been Shitbox weeks that might’ve been more challenged by the Versa, but this is a pretty excellent fleet (although I’d trade that Plymouth for anything British).
KBB lists a private party sale value for the Versa at $4,120 to $6,007. A quick search on Autotempest shows numerous comparably equipped Versas in good condition for $4,000 to $7,000, so KBB’s value seems reasonable. You are paying for convenience when you purchase through Carmax, but this is ridiculous.
It would be hard to come up with a shitbox showdown where I would vote for a car that is this overpriced. The competing vehicle would have to be on fire and infested with cobras. And I would still have to think about it.
Man, that’s a steep markup. If the Versa were $5k, I’d still take the Audi + Chevy over it, but I’d have to think about it.
I would still go with the fleet if the Versa was $5,000, but I could see why people would choose the Versa at that price. I don’t dislike the Versa. It isn’t exciting, but it is a good transportation appliance.
I just can’t get over how easy it is to find a comparable 2012 Versa for half the price of this one. This car is an absolute ripoff. Worse yet, they will probably sell it to someone who finances it for 60 months at 10% interest. Someone is going to end up paying $14,000 for this thing. That actually kind of pisses me off.
Hahaha, 85% for the fleet. Probably makes us all idiots.
Not against this car at this price.
Over 10k? For a first gen Versa!? Jesus Christ Carmax. I found one immediately online for 5500$. Carmax can rot in hell with pricing like that. And I don’t even hate the first gen Versa, the hatch was a pretty good car.
I’ll take the fleet. I think I’d rather have the Bonneville as a daily anyway.
You can do better than that for a Versa LOL