The End Is Near: COTD

Fiya1
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It seems like Kia and Hyundai owners just can’t win. Many of the vehicles are so easy to steal that a teenager can make off with one in under 60 seconds using the USB cable you left on the center console. If you’re lucky enough to still have your vehicle, you probably do some measures to help it stick around, like parking it in a garage. But, now, in a cruel twist in this lovely thing called life, parking your Kia in a garage may not be such a great idea. Apparently, that could result in what you might call “fiery death.

Anyway, this is bad news for Matt’s dad, from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration:

Hyundai Motor America and Kia America have issued “park outside” recalls for more than 3.3 million vehicles due to the risk of fire.

Until these recalled vehicles have been repaired, the manufacturers say the safest place to park them is outside and away from homes and other structures. Fires can occur whether the vehicle is parked and turned off or while driving.

Here are the cars, if you missed today’s Morning Dump:

Hyundai’s safety recall (NHTSA ID: 23V-651000) applies to the following vehicles and model years: 2012-2015 Accent, 2012-2015 Azera, 2011-2015 Elantra, 2013-2015 Elantra Coupe, 2014-2015 Equus, 2011-2015 Genesis Coupe, 2013-2015 Santa Fe, 2013 Santa Fe Sport, 2011-2015 Sonata HEV, 2010-2013 Tucson, 2015 Tucson Fuel Cell, 2012-2015 Veloster and 2010-2012 Veracruz.

[…]

Kia’s safety recall (NHTSA ID: 23V-652000) applies to the following vehicles and model years: 2014-2016 Cadenza, 2011-2013 Forte/Forte Koup, 2015-2017 K900, 2010-2015 Optima, 2011-2013 Optima Hybrid, 2011-2017 Rio, 2010 Rondo, 2011-2014 Sorento, 2011-2013 Soul and 2010-2013 Sportage.

Canopysaurus points out another potential downside about this:

Aren’t burning Souls a sign of the End Times?

For a second COTD nomination, we have FlavouredMilk, who wrote the perfect comment in response to a Dodge Avenger on Bring a Trailer:

So what you’re saying is that this is BaT-shit?

Fantastic, you two. Have a great evening, everyone!

(Top Photo: Mercedes Streeter/Kia)

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12 thoughts on “The End Is Near: COTD

  1. Hyundai/Kia should lean into this in their marketing.

    Kia/Hyundai are on a hot streak. Our desirability is endless as the most stolen brand in 2023; our cars are literally hot. We have a fire in our belly that can’t be contained. The Palisade and Telluride are burning up the sales charts. So head on down to your local dealer for a smoking deal.

    Then they should hire Charlie Sheen as the spokesperson with the tagline Hyundai/Kia: Winning.

    Also, they should license Elvis Burning Love as the soundtrack to the commercial.

      1. First, recall rates are not the same thing as quality. Hyundai/Kia have enough history of bigger engine issues. Second, recall issues vary wildly from “your backup camera might stop working” to “this is so defective it opens up a portal to hell.” Fire issues are up there.

        1. I used to work at the parts department of a Hyundai and Subaru dealer. Both of them were absolutely plagued by constant recalls. I don’t understand how either of them had as good of a reputation as they do. Hyundai had the constant engine failures in the Sonatas and Santa Fes, and terrible dual clutch transmissions. Subaru had serious oil consumption issues resulting in short block replacement (at least), absolutely garbage infotainment systems that would black out and just stop working, awful cvt transmissions in anything larger than an Impreza (the last day I worked there I ordered 3 transmissions for Subaru Ascents), and other constant smaller recalls.

          It was ridiculous, it was a smaller dealer selling maybe 200 Subarus and 100 or so Hyundais a month, and we needed a full time warehouse guy just to keep track of orders and constant returns of warranty engines and transmissions.

          1. I have a friend at a Subie dealer, and the number of pallets of engines and trannies that they get weekly for work is mind-blowing.

            Its all marketing

      1. The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself.
        Can you do that?
        My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do. It’s what I live for.
        To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.
        Poor souls with no one else to turn to…

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