I have a lot of automotive predilections and near-fetishes that seem peculiar, even to myself. And yet, at the same time, I’m powerless to fight against them; they have the power to stay my gaze and grab my attention like a sky-herd of owls seizing an abandoned prairie-meatloaf. One category of these predilections is the type of utility vehicle that is known by various names: cab-over, one-box, bread loaf, hoodless wonder, you name it. Sometimes they’re trucks, sometimes vans, sometimes buses, but they’re always strangely appealing.
And, even better, when photographed for their brochures and advertisements, there seems to be some unspoken rule that a full-frontal picture must be taken of their strange, cute-ugly gremlinly faces. All seem to have roughly the same sort of gumdrop shape and proportions, along with very expressive arrangements of lights, bumpers, grilles, and the other elements and details that form the front end of an automobile.
I love these front-end views of these utility vehicles, so I’m going to share a bunch of mid-century (and some ’70s) examples with you, until you either delight and agree with me or run away, screaming.
Honestly, either reaction works, so let’s dig in.
Unic has an unfortunate name but was an early 20th-century maker of passenger cars and trucks. This particular one has a great, sort of Art Deco-ish look, and I think those inner lamps are part lamp and part horn?
Ford of Britain’s Thames vans were analogous to American Ford’s Econoline – the ubiquitous workhorses that formed the backbone of a nation’s move-crap-around network. They had a good, gremliny face, even with detailing that suggested a nose, a rarity on these sorts of machines.
Ford of Germany built the Taunus Transit, which used the V4 and V6 engines from the Taunus passenger cars. Also, with a great, slightly worried-looking face.
Possibly the best-known in this category, Volkswagen’s rear-engined Type 2 buses and vans all had simple, grille-less faces. As I’ve noted before, these could take on some very specific Muppet-related looks.
The Hanomag Garant had a lot of swoopy, curvy details, and, as shown here in green, was highly reminiscent of some sort of bulky frog or toad.
The legendary Mercedes-Benz Unimog is an interesting, go-anywhere example of this cabover/one box design philosophy, and the addition of the high ride height and huge tires gives the machine a more rugged sort of character; it’s more feral, less civilized.
We’ve got another Hanomag here, A Kurier, essentially the same body as the Garant, but in red, far less froggy. This is a great example of the suggestive power of color.
Saviem (Société Anonyme de Véhicules Industriels et d’Équipements Mécaniques) was part of Renault, and made all sorts of trucks and buses and other hardworking machines. This 1963 Saviem S5 is a great example, and has a great cabover-gumdrop-gremlin face, as seen from the front, with just enough oddly whimsical detailing – check out the eyebrow-like swoops over the headlamps – to make it a great example of this genre.
Some manufacturer needs to bring back a modern truck or van with these proportions and this sort of evocative and expressive face! They feel like creatures, and I think more strange creatures roaming around our roads, delivering our beer and toilet paper and selling us tacos and ice cream can only be a net positive for society, right?
Right.
Where is the Willys FC-150 and FC-170?
Hey what about a Willy’s fc!!? And a Toyota le van and the privia?
Seriously? The Anonymous Society Industrial Vehicles and Mechanical Equipment?? Were they not proud of their work? Or were they on the lam from the law‽ Gendarme! Regardes! Le criminel s’échappe !
“société anonyme” is a legal denomination for some french limited companies.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S.A._(corporation)
Top B&W photo, UNIC looks like something the Cone Heads used to emigrate from France in. It just fits.
Unimog just says “Here to work, GTF out of the way or be crushed.”
Which is why I want one, asap.
Torch you forgot the early VW Bus face. WTF?
Are you still on drugs? Or as my Mom would say, “Are you on the pot?”
There’s a respect I have for truly utilitarian vehicles. Which isn’t to say that they can’t look stylish, just you can tell they were built for a purpose.
Hanomag also built the “Hanomag 1,3 Liter” (1939–1941) that is spitting image of Volkswagen Käfer.
I have to say, I love cars with slightly worried faces. They look like recently potty trained kids hurrying towards a bathroom before it is too late.
i think the Rivian amazon vans are def riding the same wave…
Forgot the Barkas B1000, an East German make, looks the part.
I think the UAZ 452 and its descendants would be a great fit in this gallery too
They seem to still be making the UAZ 452, known as “loaf” because it’s shaped like a loaf of bread. Frontal view is rather hangdog, but I suppose if you were a Russian van you’d look dejected too.
https://automanana.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/f5553c87f0e9bf26389ef6e3b6f0b3b6.jpg
I fully expected to see a UAZ 452 “Buchanka” on this list. The old joke is that they arrived from the factory already rusty.
They’re still in production, somehow.
I remember reading a review in which the reviewers found a piece of welding rod stuck to the interior somewhere and then painted over. Textbook definition of indifferent build quality
Is that a tow hitch on the front of the Saviem?
They broke down a lot.
A lot of older trucks in Europe had front tow hitches. Mercedes NGs and SKs, Ivecos and Magirus Deutz’, Scanias and Volvos. The Volvo FMX has the hitch in the front bumper still.
Ok Torch, look me in the face (pun intended) and tell me the windshield isn’t the eyes on that Unic
The rear windows look like pupils, right? But that only works from this angle, I suppose…
Presumably Citroën’s trucks didn’t quite meet the homely-cute gumdrop criteria and so didn’t make the cut? After all, they were nicknamed Belphégor after the titular character of a popular French TV series https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belphegor,_or_Phantom_of_the_Louvre which I’ve not yet seen but I’m given to understand the phantom was indeed homely but not so cute.
A couple of images from brochures:
http://www.citroenet.org.uk/utilities/belphegor/images/01.jpg
http://www.citroenet.org.uk/utilities/belphegor/images/04.jpg
Among the clever touches these trucks had were windows in the front in the footwells for greater visibility for drivers when negotiating the narrow streets so common to European cities.
Oh, nice, that brochure have that 70’s computer font!
The green Hanomag really reminds me of Shrek more than a frog; the mirrors being almost perfect ogre ears.
Where’s the UAZ-452!?!
https://s.car.info/image_files/1920/front-old-car-land-no1-2019-1-738356.jpg
The Saviem even has a distinguished little French moustache-grille above the mouth-grille.
So, if fugly is part of the contemporary lexicon, can i nominate cugly? how someone, who hasn’t read your intro here, disambiguates the new word might say a lot about their outlook on life.
I love cugly! I’ll start using it!
If I were about to be hit by one of these vehicles, I’d choose the Thames to be the last face I see.
I’d choose the Unimog and dive to the ground so it goes right over me and I live to see other car faces as well as human faces and dog faces.
The wheel tread on the Unimog are pointing different directions on the front and back. Does any one know a purpose for this?
Maybe it aids backing up?
To me the Unic and Thames, the first two detailed, looked like they had drawn in eyes and I was surprised that Jason hadn’t complained about it.
It was only once I scrolled down to the cyclopses that I realized that the eyes were actually the rear windows.
This can’t be complete without the original VW bus and its exaggerated widow’s peak face. Although it’s hard to read any particular personality or emotion into it. Maybe an owl?
I was about to say can’t be complete without the fifties Fiat multipla
Love these mugshots!
Small correction on the Ford Transit: The 1st generation Transit did not have V-engines. They came out later.
I pine for little cabover vans the way DT pines for rusted-out Jeeps and tiny electric BMWs.
The Saviem S5’s Type 710 Cabin had a long life, ending up behind the iron curtain on the Czech Avia A15/A30. It was manufactured until 1998, the last models (Daewoo-Avia A60/A80) being horribly disfigured by swathes of plastic cladding.
https://www.avia-club.com/gallery_detail.php?id=115
Plastic cladding is the botched plastic surgery on aging car designs
We clearly have our Bert with the VW, but which one of these is the Ernie? The color on the Thames is all wrong but it has the most cheerful expression.
While not Euro-centric and not featured here, the Dodge A100 would be what comes to mind for an Ernie.
These all look earnestly helpful to slightly worried.
They also look a little like Ernest Borgnine.
I imagine the Thames in particular having an Anthony Daniels-esque lilt: “Oh, dear, you want me to carry all that? Oh, heavens.”
Reminded me of Thomas the Tank Engine.