You know how, in life, some things are just stupid? Perhaps there are justifications or reasons that can explain something, even explain it well, but in the end, it’s still just kind of, you know, stupid? I think you must know that, existing here on earth the way you do. Our friends over at Land Rover have gifted upon the world a whole new bit of stupid for all of us to enjoy and revel in: the upper rear side design of the Land Rover Defender 130 Outbound, specifically the windowless rear quarter areas. These, I’m afraid, feel deeply stupid, and I’d like to share why that is with you.
First, I should explain just what the Defender 130 (that’s the longest of the three — 90, 110, 130) Outbound is, because not all of us have the luxury of spending all day on the Land Rover Defender configurator. The Defender Outbound is based on all the features of the Defender 130 X-Dynamic SE, but adds a number of extra features for roughly $5,000 more than the Defender X-Dynamic SE:
• 20″ Stle 5095 Gloss Black wheels
• Carpet Mats with Cargo space rubber flooring
• Body-colored Exterior Panel
• Cross vehicle beam in Stain Black Powder Coat finish.
This is also a five-seater, as it does not offer a third row, instead giving that area over to cargo space. That also may be some of the motivation behind the feature I put in boldface at the top of this article — the one I think is stupid, that Body-colored Exterior Panel. You can see it here, where it stands out better in a lighter color:
Essentially, that panel replaces the rear quarter window that normally takes up that spot. Hey, is that image faked? It looks like from the inside you can see a rear side window that shouldn’t exist? Huh. Whatever.
That in itself isn’t necessarily stupid; window-less panels replacing windows is a Known Thing in the automotive world. But it’s how they did it that irks me, because it’s like this:
Several of you asked me what’s behind the blanked out body color rear panels of the Land Rover Defender Outbound I’m reviewing and here’s your answer. One of you mentioned this to me and made me look early on. I can’t remember who but thank you for pointing it out originally! pic.twitter.com/6r9RhQlp9w
— Zerin Dube (@SpeedSportLife) June 2, 2024
See that? The plastic panel there is just stuck right on the glass window. There’s something just sort of…maddening about this approach. Like, I understand why you may not want a window back there, but the fact that the window is there, the glass and rubber and adhesives and integrated AM radio aerial, all there in that heavy, relatively expensive glass, and then it’s covered over with a plastic panel, well, that just feels… stupid.
I mean, most of the time when a rear quarter window like that needs to be eliminated on the cheap, it’s done something like this, usually on small wagon or hatchback van conversions:
Sometimes you see the indent where the glass would have gone had they wanted a window there, but they didn’t so, no glass. In the case of that HHR you can see where they made a whole modified stamping that didn’t include the window punch-out at all. The others seem to just fill the empty area with sheet metal.
These seem like the right way to go about this kind of change: no waste, no needless weight or cost or installation steps for something whose entire purpose – transparency – will be defeated.
So why did Land Rover choose to do it this way? I asked our own Real Car Designer, Adrian Clarke, and he confirmed my suspicions: it’s cheap and fast. It’s cheaper and quicker than re-designing a panel or even changing the production process to include the option of installing a metal filler panel instead of the glass on the line. Sure, money is being wasted on the window and the installation of the window, but that’s a problem for future Land Rover, not present Land Rover!
Also, he noted the AM radio aerial was integrated into the rear quarter glass, so I guess they’d have to design and incorporate that all-important bit of equipment, too.
These explanations certainly make sense; I get it. I see why they did it, it all sounds reasonable. I guess. But I just can’t shake the feeling that designing and engineering a window only to cover it up with plastic just feels…wrong, still.
Even on the other versions of the Defender that has rear quarter window glass, they can’t help but sticking a little opaque panel there, for style reasons, like how we once wore onions on our belts. Maybe they just can’t abide a big, unbroken expanse of glass, and need to obscure it? I don’t know.
[Ed Note: I’d just like to add this:
That is all. -DT]
What I do know is that if I owned one of these, every time I’d go crawling around on that rubber mat in the rear cargo area and saw that useless glass hanging out senselessly on the sides of my Land Rover, it would irritate the crap out of me.
Am I alone here? Does this bother anyone else, on some vague, conceptual level? Feel free to rant about this, or me, or both in the comments!
Good eye catching that. It’s a render, but certainly not faked. The plastic panel on the other side has fallen off already, certifying this as a true Land Rover.
Or rusted through
As much as we make fun of them, the British automotive industry certainly has achieved some amazing things, one of which undoubtedly must be plastic that will rust.
And electrical systems that leak.
Who knew the 1980s Chevy Astro Van was such a trend setter?
https://www.astrosafari.com/attachments/2015-08-24-12-56-07-jpg.95386/
Who knew the 1980s Chevy Astro Van was such a trend setter?
https://www.astrosafari.com/attachments/2015-08-24-12-56-07-jpg.95386/
The panel comes from the commercial version of the Defender (known as the hardtop) which is not offered in the US. The panel exists as a place to put your company logo on so you confirm it is a van and not someone trying to claim the sales tax on a regular Defender by saying it is a work truck.
Defender Hard Top 2024 | Defender for Business | Defender (landrover.co.uk)
I was about to say using a Defender as a commercial vehicle would be rather ‘bougie,’ but I just saw a Bronco Raptor over the weekend painted pink with the Crumbl Cookie store logo on the doors, so….have at it!
The Crumbl Cookie location near me has a Bronco Raptor wrapped in the store logo and usually has it parked at the end of the parking lot near the street.
Worse, though, is a local roofing company using a F150 Raptor R as a company vehicle (presumably it’s the owner). I had to stare at the thing for a couple days as they replaced my neighbor’s roof late last year, though I always got a chuckle when I watched it roll in squatting each time they needed more roofing material. I had my roof replaced shortly after, and my roofing foreman and I had a good laugh about how his 10 year old Nissan Frontier had a higher payload rating than the Raptor R.
Interesting. Perhaps the home office of Crumbl requires franchise owners to get a Bronco Raptor for advertisement purposes? Hefty writeoff, that!
Given how expensive their cookies are, I suppose they can afford it regardless.
I think Crumbl mostly does franchises, so I bet it depends upon the owner of a franchise. We have a family friend who is the regional operations manager of a large Crumbl franchisee, and all of their stores have minivans or midsize CUVs wrapped in the Crumbl logo (which he complains about, because his company car is a pink Nissan Rogue).
Tax writeoff for the franchise owner, which serves as a sort of parked billboard, but at the cost of driving a pink vehicle with cookie decorations on it.
Yeah, that’s a bridge too far for me!
Which means it’s probably not to difficult to remove that stupid plastic panel and pop in the “normal” window surround trim. Plastic stuff like that almost always uses clips…
The panel comes from the commercial version of the Defender (known as the hardtop) which is not offered in the US. The panel exists as a place to put your company logo on so you confirm it is a van and not someone trying to claim the sales tax on a regular Defender by saying it is a work truck.
Defender Hard Top 2024 | Defender for Business | Defender (landrover.co.uk)
I was about to say using a Defender as a commercial vehicle would be rather ‘bougie,’ but I just saw a Bronco Raptor over the weekend painted pink with the Crumbl Cookie store logo on the doors, so….have at it!
The Crumbl Cookie location near me has a Bronco Raptor wrapped in the store logo and usually has it parked at the end of the parking lot near the street.
Worse, though, is a local roofing company using a F150 Raptor R as a company vehicle (presumably it’s the owner). I had to stare at the thing for a couple days as they replaced my neighbor’s roof late last year, though I always got a chuckle when I watched it roll in squatting each time they needed more roofing material. I had my roof replaced shortly after, and my roofing foreman and I had a good laugh about how his 10 year old Nissan Frontier had a higher payload rating than the Raptor R.
Interesting. Perhaps the home office of Crumbl requires franchise owners to get a Bronco Raptor for advertisement purposes? Hefty writeoff, that!
Given how expensive their cookies are, I suppose they can afford it regardless.
I think Crumbl mostly does franchises, so I bet it depends upon the owner of a franchise. We have a family friend who is the regional operations manager of a large Crumbl franchisee, and all of their stores have minivans or midsize CUVs wrapped in the Crumbl logo (which he complains about, because his company car is a pink Nissan Rogue).
Tax writeoff for the franchise owner, which serves as a sort of parked billboard, but at the cost of driving a pink vehicle with cookie decorations on it.
Yeah, that’s a bridge too far for me!
Which means it’s probably not to difficult to remove that stupid plastic panel and pop in the “normal” window surround trim. Plastic stuff like that almost always uses clips…
David, that is what I call badge engineering!
David, that is what I call badge engineering!
At least they didn’t just grab a can of Krylon and spray over the window.
At least they didn’t just grab a can of Krylon and spray over the window.
Stupid…yes it is completely stupid…I can’t believe they list this as a feature!
Stupid…yes it is completely stupid…I can’t believe they list this as a feature!
The SEAT coverup logo on the engine cover cracked me up! Thanks, DT!!
One of my favorites is if you pry the pony emblem off the steering column of early Mustangs, there’s a Ford Falcon emblem behind it!
There’s also a Falcon underneath if you peel the body off.
Ha. Yeah, leave it to Ford to do such a thing. My parents bought a 1960 Ford Fairlane brand new; it was actually a rebadged Edsel. You could actually see where they had picked out the thread from the bottom bar of the ‘E’ in the upholstery on the seatbacks to make the ‘E’ into an ‘F’ before delivery to the dealerships. To add insult to injury, none of us kids liked riding in the Fairlane because the upholstery itself was weirdly scratchy, especially in the summertime when we wore shorts or bathing suits.
Comfortable seating really is something we just take for granted these days, isn’t it?
Whether banishing questionable textiles or hard surfaces, it’s amazing how pretty much across the board, our vehicles’ seats are decent now.
The SEAT coverup logo on the engine cover cracked me up! Thanks, DT!!
One of my favorites is if you pry the pony emblem off the steering column of early Mustangs, there’s a Ford Falcon emblem behind it!
There’s also a Falcon underneath if you peel the body off.
Ha. Yeah, leave it to Ford to do such a thing. My parents bought a 1960 Ford Fairlane brand new; it was actually a rebadged Edsel. You could actually see where they had picked out the thread from the bottom bar of the ‘E’ in the upholstery on the seatbacks to make the ‘E’ into an ‘F’ before delivery to the dealerships. To add insult to injury, none of us kids liked riding in the Fairlane because the upholstery itself was weirdly scratchy, especially in the summertime when we wore shorts or bathing suits.
Comfortable seating really is something we just take for granted these days, isn’t it?
Whether banishing questionable textiles or hard surfaces, it’s amazing how pretty much across the board, our vehicles’ seats are decent now.
I agree that’s lazy and dumb. More importantly though, it looks stupid!
As it should be in JLR land.
I agree that’s lazy and dumb. More importantly though, it looks stupid!
As it should be in JLR land.
One of these parked next to me at the foundry today, they are really big! I was driving (a series IIA 109 Safari) Land Rover. I think I prefer mine.
It is like comparing apples with puffer fish.
One of these parked next to me at the foundry today, they are really big! I was driving (a series IIA 109 Safari) Land Rover. I think I prefer mine.
It is like comparing apples with puffer fish.
Counterpoint, I like it.
Counterpoint, I like it.
My 1970 Westy had, as most Westys did, a cupboard that blocked off the cargo area window on the right side of the van. Westfalia hung a nice curtain in that window before installing the cupboard, which I find to be a nice touch.
My 1970 Westy had, as most Westys did, a cupboard that blocked off the cargo area window on the right side of the van. Westfalia hung a nice curtain in that window before installing the cupboard, which I find to be a nice touch.
The actual, more infuriating part of it is that its a Land Rover meaning its going to have a shit ton of problems and be junk in less than 5 years.
The actual, more infuriating part of it is that its a Land Rover meaning its going to have a shit ton of problems and be junk in less than 5 years.
Land Rover entering their own little malaise era, after many years of greatness?
Some 40 year old US car “quick fixes” comes to mind…
Land Rover entering their own little malaise era, after many years of greatness?
Some 40 year old US car “quick fixes” comes to mind…