You know how, in life, some things are just stupid? Perhaps there are justifications or reasons that can explain something, even explain it well, but in the end, it’s still just kind of, you know, stupid? I think you must know that, existing here on earth the way you do. Our friends over at Land Rover have gifted upon the world a whole new bit of stupid for all of us to enjoy and revel in: the upper rear side design of the Land Rover Defender 130 Outbound, specifically the windowless rear quarter areas. These, I’m afraid, feel deeply stupid, and I’d like to share why that is with you.
First, I should explain just what the Defender 130 (that’s the longest of the three — 90, 110, 130) Outbound is, because not all of us have the luxury of spending all day on the Land Rover Defender configurator. The Defender Outbound is based on all the features of the Defender 130 X-Dynamic SE, but adds a number of extra features for roughly $5,000 more than the Defender X-Dynamic SE:
• 20″ Stle 5095 Gloss Black wheels
• Carpet Mats with Cargo space rubber flooring
• Body-colored Exterior Panel
• Cross vehicle beam in Stain Black Powder Coat finish.
This is also a five-seater, as it does not offer a third row, instead giving that area over to cargo space. That also may be some of the motivation behind the feature I put in boldface at the top of this article — the one I think is stupid, that Body-colored Exterior Panel. You can see it here, where it stands out better in a lighter color:
Essentially, that panel replaces the rear quarter window that normally takes up that spot. Hey, is that image faked? It looks like from the inside you can see a rear side window that shouldn’t exist? Huh. Whatever.
That in itself isn’t necessarily stupid; window-less panels replacing windows is a Known Thing in the automotive world. But it’s how they did it that irks me, because it’s like this:
Several of you asked me what’s behind the blanked out body color rear panels of the Land Rover Defender Outbound I’m reviewing and here’s your answer. One of you mentioned this to me and made me look early on. I can’t remember who but thank you for pointing it out originally! pic.twitter.com/6r9RhQlp9w
— Zerin Dube (@SpeedSportLife) June 2, 2024
See that? The plastic panel there is just stuck right on the glass window. There’s something just sort of…maddening about this approach. Like, I understand why you may not want a window back there, but the fact that the window is there, the glass and rubber and adhesives and integrated AM radio aerial, all there in that heavy, relatively expensive glass, and then it’s covered over with a plastic panel, well, that just feels… stupid.
I mean, most of the time when a rear quarter window like that needs to be eliminated on the cheap, it’s done something like this, usually on small wagon or hatchback van conversions:
Sometimes you see the indent where the glass would have gone had they wanted a window there, but they didn’t so, no glass. In the case of that HHR you can see where they made a whole modified stamping that didn’t include the window punch-out at all. The others seem to just fill the empty area with sheet metal.
These seem like the right way to go about this kind of change: no waste, no needless weight or cost or installation steps for something whose entire purpose – transparency – will be defeated.
So why did Land Rover choose to do it this way? I asked our own Real Car Designer, Adrian Clarke, and he confirmed my suspicions: it’s cheap and fast. It’s cheaper and quicker than re-designing a panel or even changing the production process to include the option of installing a metal filler panel instead of the glass on the line. Sure, money is being wasted on the window and the installation of the window, but that’s a problem for future Land Rover, not present Land Rover!
Also, he noted the AM radio aerial was integrated into the rear quarter glass, so I guess they’d have to design and incorporate that all-important bit of equipment, too.
These explanations certainly make sense; I get it. I see why they did it, it all sounds reasonable. I guess. But I just can’t shake the feeling that designing and engineering a window only to cover it up with plastic just feels…wrong, still.
Even on the other versions of the Defender that has rear quarter window glass, they can’t help but sticking a little opaque panel there, for style reasons, like how we once wore onions on our belts. Maybe they just can’t abide a big, unbroken expanse of glass, and need to obscure it? I don’t know.
[Ed Note: I’d just like to add this:
That is all. -DT]
What I do know is that if I owned one of these, every time I’d go crawling around on that rubber mat in the rear cargo area and saw that useless glass hanging out senselessly on the sides of my Land Rover, it would irritate the crap out of me.
Am I alone here? Does this bother anyone else, on some vague, conceptual level? Feel free to rant about this, or me, or both in the comments!
Ha, the plastic panel covering the fully functional window is reminiscient of when they discovered a fully functioning neon light completely hidden behind a wall in a restaurant in Los Angeles where the neon light had apparently been operating continously for some 60 years:
https://www.latimes.com/la-me-old-neon-20120526-story.html
That’s incredible.
Thank you!
Urge to kill, rising.
Quick… look at these pictures of Justin Bieber:
https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,q_auto,w_720/uezquvbn2avxl9gd84pt.jpg
https://files.brainfall.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/justin-bieber-featured-566×0.png
Urge to kill, rising.
Quick… look at these pictures of Justin Bieber:
https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,q_auto,w_720/uezquvbn2avxl9gd84pt.jpg
https://files.brainfall.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/justin-bieber-featured-566×0.png
This is perfectly in keeping with Land Rover’s ethos of designing sublimely capable off-road vehicles and then finding interesting ways of fucking them up.
And then marketing them to people who are VERY unlikely to take them offroad… or at most, they might use them to drive on some gravel or grass.
This is perfectly in keeping with Land Rover’s ethos of designing sublimely capable off-road vehicles and then finding interesting ways of fucking them up.
And then marketing them to people who are VERY unlikely to take them offroad… or at most, they might use them to drive on some gravel or grass.
This makes me so angry. The amount of anger I feel towards this is grossly disproportionate to how this actually affects me.
This makes me so angry. The amount of anger I feel towards this is grossly disproportionate to how this actually affects me.
You’re questioning the financial logic and sense of a Land Rover? Are you new here?
As I work in parts at a Land Rover dealer and get paid off parts sales, buying a Land Rover is one of the best financial decisions you can make in your life. Please, please, buy a Land Rover. Preferably one that’s fully loaded.
What’s the list price on one of those panels out of curiosity?
Looks like its comes with the glass panel attached to it, list price is $783.38
You’re questioning the financial logic and sense of a Land Rover? Are you new here?
As I work in parts at a Land Rover dealer and get paid off parts sales, buying a Land Rover is one of the best financial decisions you can make in your life. Please, please, buy a Land Rover. Preferably one that’s fully loaded.
What’s the list price on one of those panels out of curiosity?
Looks like its comes with the glass panel attached to it, list price is $783.38
So with some Goo Gone and a razorblade, you can have a working window?
So with some Goo Gone and a razorblade, you can have a working window?
It’s just so odd in so many ways. Makes it look like some kind of commercial conversion and creates huge(r) blind spots. And I hope the seals around that are super tight, so it doesn’t become a trap for all kinds of grime between the panel and the glass.
Privacy? First of all, there’s still a back window for prying eyes. And I’ve heard some automakers include these little roll-up window-shade thingies that stretch over the cargo area…
The panel allows for the placement of the side ladder and mini storage compartment you see in the video of the black car. You don’t want to put those elements leaning against glass.
It’s just so odd in so many ways. Makes it look like some kind of commercial conversion and creates huge(r) blind spots. And I hope the seals around that are super tight, so it doesn’t become a trap for all kinds of grime between the panel and the glass.
Privacy? First of all, there’s still a back window for prying eyes. And I’ve heard some automakers include these little roll-up window-shade thingies that stretch over the cargo area…
The panel allows for the placement of the side ladder and mini storage compartment you see in the video of the black car. You don’t want to put those elements leaning against glass.
It’s a nod to the window tax, or “light tax” in Europe in the 18th and 19th centuries.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Window_tax
It’s a nod to the window tax, or “light tax” in Europe in the 18th and 19th centuries.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Window_tax
The real question is: Do you need to clean the show dog’s nose prints off the inside glass if nobody will see through it? The Labridoodlesky needs to know if it can leave it’s mark.
The real question is: Do you need to clean the show dog’s nose prints off the inside glass if nobody will see through it? The Labridoodlesky needs to know if it can leave it’s mark.
Land Rover have been doing this sort of premium cheapskate manoeuvre for so long that the particular dumbness of this example would have never occurred to them.
Land Rover have been doing this sort of premium cheapskate manoeuvre for so long that the particular dumbness of this example would have never occurred to them.
The panels are there so that your neighbors don’t ask you about your Ford Flex.
The panels are there so that your neighbors don’t ask you about your Ford Flex.
It would bother me enough to not buy the car. It’s just stupid. Seeing the antenna on this inside would piss me off no end. Just like the panels they stick on other models as part of their ploy to sell accessories to stupid people. In other words, I agree with Jason 100%.
It would bother me enough to not buy the car. It’s just stupid. Seeing the antenna on this inside would piss me off no end. Just like the panels they stick on other models as part of their ploy to sell accessories to stupid people. In other words, I agree with Jason 100%.
This is what happens when JLR doesn’t have Adrian around to un-£*<k thing that never should have been £*<ked in the first place.
It’s a good thing that that Adrian never had to design such a thing or he might still be rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere, muttering to himself, rather than sharing his inspired musings with us.
This is what happens when JLR doesn’t have Adrian around to un-£*<k thing that never should have been £*<ked in the first place.
It’s a good thing that that Adrian never had to design such a thing or he might still be rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere, muttering to himself, rather than sharing his inspired musings with us.