You know when you go to a party, or a bar mitzvah, or the excruciating work social, there’s always one person who is a bit…much. They’re making bad jokes, laughing loudly at the stupidest shit. Acting like they’re the life and soul of the party when actually they’re being an unbearable tit and the only humane thing to do for all involved would be to strap them into a trebuchet and launch them into the side of a tall building. This is the kind of vacuous twat who probably bought the original Nissan Juke.
Full disclosure: I was that vacuous twat once, but not for those reasons. I owned a first generation Juke for a few months at the beginning of 2019. I had broken up with a woman and written off my beloved R55 Mini Cooper Clubman by stuffing it through a fence, so I wasn’t in a great headspace for making good life decisions. The insurance money was burning a hole in my pocket and walking to my managers house every morning at 7:30 to ride into Gaydon with him was getting really fucking old fast, so I needed something black, funky and economical. I’m also a total attention whore. You can see my thinking.
So It’s Proactive, Huh?
After a few weeks I thought the Juke was just trying too hard. Some vapid marketing asshole probably suggested making the interior more X Games by ten percent, consistently and thoroughly. The low-res graphics could grade you on your mpg achieved in eco mode or display G forces in sport mode, for fucks sake. The eco mode was actually worse for gas milage because it throttled the engine so badly you had to nail the bloody thing to make any sort of progress. I was hoping for a sense of fun like the MINI. What I actually got was the “how do you do, fellow kids?” meme on wheels. A little bit of my soul died every time I drove it. I traded it for an 8J Audi TT as soon as my self esteem got back on its feet.
Please Sign These Papers Indicating You Did Not Save NMUK
It wasn’t for me, but the original Juke was for a lot of people. Previewed by the Qazana concept that debuted at the 2009 Geneva motor show, it was the second Nissan designed and engineered entirely in the UK after the Qashqai (closely related to the Rogue/Rogue Sport available in the US). The Qashqai had been a final throw of the dice for Nissan Motor UK (NMUK) after years of pissing yen down the plug hole. CEO in a suitcase Carlos Ghosn had instituted a brutal cost cutting regime across the whole of Nissan globally and told NMUK to get its shit together or else. Gambling that customers would pay a little extra for a chunkier, roomier and higher riding Golf-sized car the rather inoffensive looking Qashqai practically invented the crossover. Not for nothing was it nicknamed the Cash Cow by the UK motoring media.
Relaxing in a swimming pool full of money, NMUK wanted to do the same thing again for the next class down – Euro B (US subcompact). Nissan Design Europe (along with MG the only OEM design studio in London) came up with the design tautology of combining a beach buggy with a four wheeled motorbike. The Qazana previewed a stubby, wheel-at-each-corner stance coupled with a coupe sloping roof and large wheel arch haunches, and a bug eyed split lighting arrangement that placed the DRLs and indicators on the hood, with the main headlights lower down either side of the grill. Senior exterior designer of NDE at the time Matthew Weaver said:
“I was on the train one day and remembered seeing a young man in a flat cap with a diamond skull on it, a bling t-shirt, a pinstripe jacket and trainers. It was an eclectic mix, but I thought: if people don’t have to conform, why should cars? Different is good, it stands out. That is exactly what we wanted to achieve with Juke.”
Left unsaid was that such fashion victims should be fired into the sun.
Even the best car designs usually have one part that’s a bit challenging. Something that doesn’t quite allow your eye to settle and jolts the design into life. The original Juke broke this rule I invented because it was all challenging parts – a confection of mismatched details slapped onto an amphibian shape. Here’s the thing though; the stance (how it sits on its wheels) and the volumes (the outline of the car) are absolutely perfect. I didn’t get this when I first started seeing the bloody things everywhere, until I understood – it was meant to stand out like a goth at Salon Privé. Which is probably subconsciously why I ended up with one.
They’re Everywhere!
So did about 100k other people across Europe every year for nearly a decade, all expressing their individuality by buying the same thing as everybody else. Whatever, there was a bit more about the Juke than just its funky appearance. The first one didn’t really deliver on driving thrills, because it was bolted on tried and trusted mechanicals shared with various Renaults as well as the Nissan Cube. But it was cheap to buy and run and practical enough for young urbanites to fill the trunk with hideous diamond studded sneakers, or to give the impression they spent Sunday afternoon doing something active like getting injured playing Ultimate Frisbee in a desperate attempt to regain their youth.
The new Juke has grown up a lot. It still has an aggressive stance and style but it’s moved on from Killswitch Engage CDs to buying Taylor Swift albums on vinyl. Nissan has tempered the in-your-face attitude and subtly tweaked the proportions and graphics to better align with the rest of the range, which in the UK doesn’t include the new Z even though Japan is RHD like God intended. Thanks a bunch, Euro emissions legislation.
The Design
At the front this means the A pillar has been pulled rearwards – normally on FWD platforms it points ahead of the center line of the front axle, but on the new car you can see the A pillar points right at the middle of the wheel. This slightly moves the passenger cabin back to maintain a coupe-ish profile even though the car is a shade bigger all round. The roofline no longer dives south quite so drastically, which means at 6’2” I can sit behind myself without messing up my mohawk.
The classic Juke split headlight arrangement remains. There was no legislative reason for this originally – they just did it because it gave the designers what they wanted – an eye catching Down the Road Graphic (DRG). The DRL and indicator units have been moved further down the front and integrated into the surfacing rather than sticking out on top of the hood like the eyes of a submerged hippo. They lead nicely into the Nissan corporate V grill shape, and the pattern itself is neat in that only the lower half is actually open, but the repeating hexagons cleverly disguise it. On the front of a car, openings are the aero enemy, but you need them for cooling and airflow management. Look at the folded grill of a Jaguar iPace to see how it shouldn’t be done.
It’s Basically a Red Bull F1 Car
Sliding the passenger cabin backwards means there’s room under the hood to shove in a clever mild (non-plug in) hybrid system. The 1598 cc petrol four only makes 98bhp because it’s tuned for economy, but it’s paired with a 48bhp electric motor bolted on the end. Either or both of these power units spin the front wheels through a clutchless six speed automated manual. The way it works is standing starts are always handled by the EV motor, and then ICE kicks in to provide additional power as needed. During normal driving, the computer figures out whether to send ICE power to the wheels for speed or to charge the under trunk mounted 15kw battery, and takes control of synchronizing the gear sets which use dog rings for efficiency. Apparently it’s developed from Renault’s F1 power unit so you feel like Max Verstappen on a qualifying lap when you’re on the way to Costco. Provided there’s enough charge in the battery and you’re not on a hot lap, under 37mph the car will only use the EV motor, good for a couple of fume-free miles tootling around town.
It’s the epitome of seamless technology as an enabler. There’s not ten different hybrid modes to confuse you. You jump, stick it in drive and the system figures out the rest. Reverse is handled by the electric motor, reducing part cost and complexity, and there’s no flappy paddle bullshit – you get an e-pedal button to turn on regen braking if you want it (although it’s not quite strong enough to bring the car to a standstill) and another to use electrical power only, which it kept telling me wasn’t available and anyway the car did it on it’s own. And that’s it. The motor does sound a bit like a diesel fishing trawler when you really gun it, probably because it’s Atkinson rather than Otto cycle. The space usually taken by the rev counter is filled with an economy gauge – weirdly there’s no way of displaying engine speed information at all.
In the same vein the ProPilot driving assistant is one button on the steering wheel. The cruise control speed limit is a bit fiddly to set, but once engaged the system will gently steer to keep you in between the white lines and a set distance from the car in front. It had a bit of a drunken wander on the A46 roadworks on the way to Coventry – probably because the lane markings are not clearly delineated. I got busted by cameras for speeding through this section of dual carriageway a couple of years ago so I use cruise control through that section now to keep me under the 50mph limit.
Motorbikes Don’t Have Interiors
Having a motorbike gas tank inspired center console was an odd interior design choice on the old model because a motorbike gas tank is supposed to go between your legs not alongside them. Alongside means you’re about to have a painful dismount. Such over stylized nonsense has been discarded in favor of a more premium approach – the eyeball vents are a smooth delight and most of the bits you can touch without putting your back out are suede-alike, including the IP upper, the door panels and the center console, although this isn’t present on the cheaper trim levels.
And you need to be in a higher trim level to get the hybrid system, which I think gives the Juke one half of its appeal. Cheaper Jukes do without it and are the only way to get a manual if you’re one of those tedious row-your-own-or-death people (being able to drive a stick doesn’t make someone an elite Jedi Master car enthusiast. Mother Dearest had to be dragged kicking and screaming into an auto when her arthritis got too bad. She was in her mid-seventies. Point is, not everyone is physically able to drive a manual, and as a culture we should not be excluding anyone). The Juke range starts at just under £21k ($26k) for the boggo versions but the cheapest hybrid is £28k ($35k). The rich Corinthian leather spec Nissan lent me is £31k (nearly $39k).
The other half of the Juke’s appeal is it still maintains that ripped-straight-from-the-designers-sketchpad funk buggy look, but it’s much more cohesive and wholesome. The ride and handling balance is tilted towards fun without being crashingly sporty, and the hybrid integration feels perfect without being gimmicky and delivered pretty spectacular results – I averaged 50mpg imperial (42mpg US) over a couple of hundred of miles, which included me trying not to be late for my RC race meeting the other side of Birmingham, thirty miles away.
The original Juke regularly appears on ‘’worst designed cars ever’ clickbait articles, which totally misses the point of what the car was and what it was trying to achieve. It used to be that only mainstream OEMs could get away with something so outrageous, because they weren’t necessarily tied to visual brand identity and cheaper prices made up for shortcomings in other areas. Now premium OEMs are foisting challenging eye garbage with absolutely with no substance on us in the name of Instagram credibility, without understanding what the little Nissan gets bang on in terms of its design and execution and every day usability.
I still don’t like the original Juke, but, like most things (new BMW kidneys, matte paint, MB exterior design approaching the key fob level of detail) humans will get used to everything.
Gentrification and premium-isation of the Juke was inevitable, and is a good thing.
“…tedious row-your-own-or-death people“ – a Miata has been dispatched to collect your “Car Enthusiast” card
I saw a newish BMW today and it hit me – the grille looks like what you get when someone drops their drawers at the office and photocopies their derriere.
So if you can’t drive a manual (or are physically unable to) you can’t be an enthusiast?
That was sarcasm, enjoy the bank hols!
Fair play, and thanks!
Gotta say, as a designer I don’t know how you could admit to owning a fucking Juke. They are godawful looking…. like… I would have to be paid a lot of money to be seen rolling around in something that ugly. Cars have faces, and the juke is no exception, but the stupid giant EYEBROWS make it look perpetually surprised, and the FuNkY StYLiNG just means a small interior with rather large exterior. It wasn’t fast nor did it drive great, it’s just a lifted small crossover that is a compromise at everything that doesn’t look boring- it looks offensive.
What really pissed me off about the first one was it seemed like a modern version of “the emperor’s new clothes”, where nobody would just tell it like it is: fucking terrible looking. Instead, people kept using FUNKY words to describe it, and then… for some strange reason, people started pretending it was cool. It’s not cool. But the people driving them were convinced other people thought they were cool? idk. I’m rambling. I don’t know how it made it out of the design studio, it’s so bad.
The new one? EVEN BIGGER EYEBROWS. This car sucks. It’s up there with the early 2000s Monte Carlo in a design so bad I get kind of pissed off/angry whenever I think about it too much.
Like I said, it was a weird time in my life.
I really liked the styling of the original Juke, the second gen feels disappointingly conventional, albeit because Nissan was so successful with the original, and Qashqai, that EVERY manufacturer followed suit.
Hi Adrian, I enjoyed your article on the New Nissan Juke Hybrid. Over the early years having owned Nissan Cars, a 100 and 200 and not to be missed a Ferrari 308 quattro valve, and lately the Nissan Juke 2020, and now the Nissan Juke Hybrid 2023, spec Techna.The Hybrid is fun and safe to drive the epedal works well. I love the external and interior trims. Nissan have delivered. Again a good honest article. I live and bought this car in Spain, and can recommend it as good value. Regards Melvin.
I think as driven, £31k is ambitious price-wise, but noone buys on the list price these days anyway. But yeah, I really liked it.
KMFDM SUCKS!
Wait, RC race? What type/scale/discipline?
Tamiya stock touring, TT02. Limited upgrades allowed.
Very cool! I raced a Tamiya TA01 as a BTCC-style spec touring car (B5 Audi A4) for a few years. I miss racing 🙁
I’d been considering it for a while before taking the plunge just after Xmas. Since I work from home now I needed something to get me out the house. It’s not my closest club but I specifically wanted to race this class as I know from previous experience how expensive it can get (and how seriously some people take it).
Ha! Nerds! I have a TA02 Celica All Trac 😛
and a message from satan if you turn it around!
I had an OG Juke for a few years…loved the quirky styling, AWD, and little turbo powerplant (the latter two were particularly nice when I moved to the top of a mountain at nearly 7000′).
I hated the fuel economy, and loathed the CVT. After dropping into limp mode one time too many during my evening commute (including 3x in one week immediately after having the trans serviced at the dealership), I traded it for a Ram 1500 (which gets only 2-3 mpg worse mileage, and has been the best vehicle I’ve ever owned).
American car culture is so mad to me, switching from Juke to a Ram truck seems an absolutely extreme change to my UK sensibilities.
I am American and I still agree with you! I’ve got an MPV for the family and with 3 kids we use every inch of the space in it frequently, then I despise newer cars and imported a Pug 306 GTi last year for my car. Promptly blew the engine, so bought a cheap little Cruze until I can get it back on the road. I have no need for a big truck and no desire to have one
Both arguably fair observations, but there were a few extenuating factors: the house that I moved to in the mountains required (and still requires) significant work. I’ve hauled more loads of dirt, rock, brick, old carpet, cabinets, and wood than I can count (both to the dump, and from Home Depot). Moreover, snow has been a major factor over the years – it’s nearly May 1, and we still have 5’ of snow in our back yard.
Also factoring in: in that same timeframe, my mother passed away so I inherited her Del Sol VTEC as a high economy summer fun car, and my wife exchanged her MDX for an Infiniti QX30 (which makes the Juke seem huge by comparison), requiring us to have something capable of hauling our dogs.
Nissan Kicks? Cute.
Nissan Juke? Kill it with phosphorescent fire!
??
The new one fits in a bit too much, with the crease lines that are so popular now and such. I kind of like it, but it isn’t as visually distinctive as the old. Which may be to its benefit.
I mean for all the people voting for the Coke Bottle C3, they should love this modern interpretation of coke bottle styling. I did hear rumors they were offering this little blob as an R and in that form the twin turbo VR38DETT was available with a manual trans. That would be the ultimate moped, Fun to drive, but hope nobody you know sees you in it.
It was made! They only made some 23, it seems – but it was made. I vividly remember a Top Gear issue in which it battled Ferraris and McLarens.
I hate the taillights on the new one.
It’s trying to be cool and challenging and the taillights look like something from a rejected Rogue design that they happened to have tooling for. They’re bland and don’t fit at all. They also lead to this extremely unfortunate vertical line on the bumper.
The separation between body and contrast roof is also really awkward but that’s de rigueur right now so what can you do. Continuing up off of the rear window line would have probably worked way better.
You don’t have to have the contrast roof. In fact I think it’s only available on the top trim level. I wasn’t totally sold on the lights until I saw them in the flesh. The lit element has a kind of floating effect I think works really well.
I always figured they were bought by Millennials who wanted to piss off their parents who they resented for having to cosign their car loans.
(may not be applicable outside the USA)
I always liked the looks of the first-gen Juke, especially the submerged hippo DRLs. The new one looks fine, too, but not as visually interesting, IMHO. Although the night-time “angry eyes” look should be a hit with certain Jeep drivers.
But I’m really commenting to thank you for your defense of us non-manual transmission drivers. I can drive a manual and I did for years, and I taught all my kids to drive manuals, but thanks to the US Air Force and their “fantastic” doctors, who made my back injuries worse instead of better, I can no longer drive one. I do miss it sometimes, but I’ve grown quite fond of automatics and modern ones are quite well-designed. I used to have a blast with my C30’s faux-manual mode. Anyway, it was nice to see that sentiment expressed on an auto-enthusiast site like this one.
I’m very much of the ‘appropriate gearbox for the appropriate car’ school of thought. I wouldn’t want a manual in the Range Rover, or any other barge for that matter. I think Nissan should be applauded for making a hybrid with an automated manual rather than a podgematic or a CVT.
That being said, there a lots of different ways to enjoy cars – it’s not all about being a helmsman giving it a dab of oppo. And I hope by now people realise I’m against any kind of elitist gatekeeping bullshit, and I find people who bang on about being able to ‘master’ a stick shift increasingly tiresome.
And you’re absolutely correct – a well done modern auto is magnitudes better than an old GM400 three speed, as good as those transmissions were.
Couldn’t agree more, rowing your own has its place and can be a blast to drive Who doesn’t love ripping through the twisties slamming gears, but day to day living often means we’re in traffic. Personally I get real tired of up and down shifting in those situations, so there’s always an automatic around for day to day life.
I’ve always liked the first gen Juke, mostly for it’s proportions. It wasn’t the most practical vehicle for it’s size (really tiny backseat and trunk) but the one I had driven was pretty quick and it at least felt a little bit special compared to other options. The weird face never really bothered me that much, and compared to some of the hideous light/grille combos we get today, seems almost pedestrian.
I owned a Juke from new in 2012-2019. And I’d like to think I was not a vacuous twat, but a late 30’s professional graphic designer. I liked it a lot, it got good gas mileage, was pretty quick, handled well, and with AWD it went everywhere with good tires. Quite small, fit anywhere, great for parking. I wish you could have gotten AWD with a 5speed, but ah well. The CVT was OK, my experience wasn’t horrible, but I also had to change the fluid around 50k as it was making some rumbling. I’d own one again.
how many miles before you had CVT failure?
It never failed, just started to whine bit. I had the fluid changed way before schedule, it was dark.
> I was not a vacuous twat, but a late 30’s professional graphic designer.
Is there a difference? :p
Outside of NY or LA, indeed there is.
I think I like the rear of the new one fine, but the front has fallen into the uncanny valley of “We wanted something unique like the original Juke but didn’t have the guts to go full Juke on it”. It just looks like a mildly unattractive Nissan crossover from the front, and “mildly” is not a word that should be applied to anything about the Juke.
Funnily enough years ago a friend of mine worked at NDE and he said to me ‘wait until you see the next one’. I think the issue is, they were already at 11 and had nowhere to go from there, and you want to keep the conquest customers who bought the original but are now a bit older and wiser.
They don’t even sell those in America any more, we get the Kicks
Which I don’t hate, aside from perhaps the worst car name going today.
It’s got that squint-enough-and-it-kinda-looks-like-a-hatchback profile that gives me hope actual cars will return at some point soon. The new one’s front end has some nice GT-R grill vibes too.
I dunno, always sort of liked the original Juke.. it jived with me, looked like a small amiable frog.
The new hybrid one is very appealing though I don’t care for the design much. To me it looks like a Hot Wheels car. I wonder if we’ll get it in the US, which suffers from a dearth of inexpensive hybrids..
Normally I really love your articles, Adrian, but I can’t get excited about a vehicle that is so overwrought. I would love it if you wrote something about the best-designed sedans of each decade; what makes them great, what they do and don’t have in common, etc. For the 90’s I suggest the Alfa 156, which I have been salivating over since they first came out. Alas, I live in the US, so the prospects of ever owning one seem remote at best.
I had a 156, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful mass market saloons ever made (certainly of the recent era). I even forgave it the hidden rear door handles. I could do a ‘design classics’ series if there’s interest.
I for one would very much like this.
The 156 saloon, then 159 wagon in ‘ti’ spec are in the conversation for best looking cars of the past 25 years.
Yes, “Design Classics” would be a great series that uses your unique strengths as a design professional! Tho if you are looking for support in this endeavor, perhaps best to broaden the appeal for support beyond an article about the Juke. 🙂
The hidden door handles are very neat. Makes it look more like a two door berlina instead of the actual four door berlina it is. Like the 159 that followed it, i think the 156 still looks fresh.
Except they don’t because the position of the B pillar is wrong, there’s a bloody great shut line, and the roof proportions are all wrong for a two door. If you want proof, have a look for the Lancia Delta Integrale restomod where they turned it into a three door. It looks totally wrong.
I had to IMMEDIATELY scroll down to say kudos on the Juke Joint Jezebel reference. Not too many folks that I know have any idea who KMFDM is.
I will never be able to hear that song without thinking of the “Club Hell” scene from the first Bad Boys movie.
Hey, this is me come on.
KMFDM Sucks! They told me so themselves.
Actually I saw them live a couple of years back at M’era Luna and they were disappointing live. Combichrist absolutely blew the roof of the place (even though it was outside!).
Agreed, the current lineup isn’t that great live. Saw them back in the late 90’s for the Symbols tour with En Esch and Kevin Ohgr in the band. That show was mind blowing. Combichrist kicks ass.
Same. The most disappointing live show I’ve seen. Seemed like they didn’t even want to be there and most of it was just prerecorded and played over speakers. Also didn’t help that XTORT had just come out and they played a lot of songs off of that, which was a big let down after Nihil for me, though ‘Symbols” that followed was great.
Maybe try switching to KMFDM light? That’s available too.
ADRIAN is a drug against war. Or at least questionable design.
Now I have the song stuck in my head. Guess I’ll put on Nihil if I go out in the car today.
I don’t know what’s worse… the new Juke… or the vehicle that replaced the Juke in the American market called “Kicks”. I swear, the nissan naming department must have gone through some late night scrabble sessions to come up with short names right out of the dictionary. Instead of trim levels with names like “SV” (in the USA), there should be a “oneself in the head” named trim package for the Kicks. That’s an appropriate metaphor for the feels that one gets after having left the lot with such a terrible car.
Other than the Juke-R, I pretty much ignored the Juke entirely. But now that I know everyone thinks the first gen is hideous… I want one. And then I want to paint it highlighter yellow for maximum eye sear.
I like the KMFDM reference.
Which, contrary to popular opinion, does not stand for “Kill Mother Fucking Depeche Mode”
Yeah, there were other backronyms, too. I remember reading an interview way back when where the band skewered that nonsense as some record company marketing tool’s idea.
I’ve always liked the shape and aesthetics of this vehicle, even if I’m not fond of the mechanicals that move it. Its shape could lend itself to something surprisingly slippery if it was cleaned up a bit(see Mercedes Bionic, with a 0.19 Cd). The 1st gen Juke had a middling 0.35 Cd, which for what it is, isn’t terrible. Most vehicles like it at the time had Cd values well over 0.4.
To me, an ideal SUV would be something like the Juke, but with cleaner aero coupled with raised ground clearance, locking axles, AWD, and a turbodiesel-electric hybrid configuration for lots of low-end torque. It would make for a fuel efficient mall crawler for the yuppie poseurs who buy them as well as a competent rock crawler for those who decide to use them as an SUV should be used.
Hybrid diesels have never really taken off, I think because traditionally diesel versions of a given car were always more expensive than ICE versions, and diesels are torquey, which is kind of what the electric motor gives you. I think Peugeot dabbled, but diesel is basically dead now in Europe for small cars thanks to dieselgate and the focus on particulate emissions.
Those things are absolutely heinous. Vile abominations. The only Nissan that makes me say “hey, that’s pretty nice” is the new Z. Before that would have to be something from the early 90’s, unless you count the 1st gen G35 (but that was short lived)
That hybrid system sounds like a fantastic implementation that ought to be in a lot more cars. It’s really taking advantage of the best parts of electric motor-having and reducing transmission complexity.
It’s really very impressive indeed, and the best part is you don’t really notice it apart from getting mega gas mileage.