If you ever end up becoming an automotive journalist, your inbox will get violated by an unfathomable number of pitches for everything from studies about the windshield wiper market to, um, textiles. I’m even somehow on the mailing list of Gibson, the guitar people, which I’m certainly not mad about, but I do find amusing. The truth is, most press releases that hit our inboxes are of limited use, but when a press release from VaporBrands International promoting vehicles that don’t appear to exist landed in our inbox, an opportunity arose that was just too rich to pass up. I mean, seriously? VaporBrands International? Sure, it may be doing business as E-Cite, but what a name.
Keep in mind, this is a company that’s actively courting investors, and if you were trying to raise funding, you’d have certain standards for promises, media, decks, and all that, right? Now lower your expectations a touch.
Right off the rip, we’re greeted with the news that a proposed EV won’t just be an EV. As per the media release:
VaporBrands International, Inc. dba E-Cite Motors Group, (OTC:VAPR) reveals that it will offer gas powered versions of its “GT” and “C3” mid-engine sports car models previously only to be available as all electric.
Clumsy phrasing aside, let’s see what E-Cite managed to come up with. Obviously, these will be renderings, because it’s 2024 and flashy startups don’t require physical substance. We’re not living in the age of the Dale anymore.
Ah, the EV-GT is a rendering that looks like a Grand Theft Auto take on a Dino 246 GTS, and the EV-C3 looks like a Grand Theft Auto take on a C3 Corvette. E-Cite claims that the EV-C3 “utilizes more than 90% of the existing engineered E-Cite EV-GT sports car,” and you can tell. As for what gasoline-powered engine might come in the GT and C3, that’s not stated. Riiight.
In the company’s long-winded mantra of “Producing state of the art iconic EV vehicles as a Low Volume Vehicle Manufacturer that are affordable, stylish, fun to drive, scalable, and commercially viable,” it’s interesting to see what VaporBrands International thinks is affordable. Let’s take a look at claimed pricing for the company’s most affordable so-called model that, to be perfectly clear, is just a rendering for now.
Introducing the EV-GT (Base Price: $89,999) & GTS (Base Price: $149,999)
Sure, that’s more affordable than a real Dino 246 GTS, but come on now. You’d need to have an exceedingly loose definition of affordability for an $89,999 electric vehicle to fall into it. Also, think of how many cars you can buy right now for $89,999 that are more than just renders. That’s an entire week of Shitbox Showdown contenders.
So, assuming that millions of dollars fall from the sky directly onto this company’s headquarters to make competitive EVs that aren’t just Hyper9 motors stuffed into shells, how does it plan to bring any of these renderings into production? Well, here’s what E-Cite has to say on its website:
In 2015 Congress enacted a bill into law the “Low Volume Vehicle Manufacturers Act of 2015” directing the NHSTA [sic] to establish a program allowing low volume motor vehicle manufacturers to produce a limited number of vehicles annually within a regulatory system that addresses the unique safety and financial issues associated with limited production, and to direct the EPA to allow low volume motor vehicle manufacturers to install engines from vehicles that have been issued certificates of conformity. Although they were given one year to establish this new program it took until January 2021 until the NHSTA [sic] issued a final ruling to allow low volume vehicle manufacturing. Under the act car manufacturers are exempt from all the safety standards but they must meet current emissions standards.
You know, it’s extraordinarily confidence-inspiring that anything that may theoretically result from this E-Cite idea wouldn’t be required to pass vehicle safety standards. It’s also worth keeping in mind that the Low Volume Vehicle Manufacturers Act of 2015 specifically pertains to replica vehicles, permitting each low-volume manufacturer to build up to 325 per year. Oh, and that’s before we even get into the intellectual property argument of vehicles that look suspiciously like other vehicles.
Regardless of whether or not a company is as dubiously named as VaporBrands International, this should go without saying: don’t even consider investing in any EV startup until it produces an actual car. Not a render, not a flight of fancy, not a what-if, but an actual car. Furthermore, all startups are essentially vaporware until someone who isn’t an employee of the company drives said vehicle on public roads. We aren’t financial professionals, but as automotive journalists, we feel confident in that as a basic litmus test for any semblance of reality.
(Photo credits: E-Cite/VaporBrands International)
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There’s one that’s been spamming my instagram feed that’s obviously totally legit, Olympian.
Nothing but some shitty renders and the renders look like someone photoshopped an old VW Bug and a 30s Caddy together.
Hot off the wire: Vapor Brands to rename its first car the “American Chocolate”.
If I had the thick end of 90 large to spend on an imaginary car, I’d rather send half of that and a donor vehicle to those Vietnamese guys who faked up a Pagani out of stuff they had lying around, and ask them to build me a backyard exotic.
Shit, stick another 10k in there, they’d probably be able to make it an EV as well. If you’re gonna fake it til you make it, you want those fellers in your corner, sez I.
When I saw that top image, for a hot sec I thought someone actually built the Vortex from Saints Row.
https://www.igcd.net/vehicle.php?l=fr&id=42001
This is what happens when you let chatgpt and midjourney read the Autopian.
Hmmm, I *do* tend to wait for final rulings and adjudication on NHSTA regs. Will the the deposit be eligible for a tax credit with the ISR or do I need to worry about the FIB coming down on me?
Nah, the FIBs are limited to the press release.
On the subject of scam/Zombie car companies, in theory, you can still order a Cizeta Moroder V16T:
https://cizetaautomobile.com/order/
But I don’t think any have been produced/sold for well over a decade.
Their website lists two addresses:
4590 Deodar St, Silver Springs, NV 89429
And
18092 Dky Park Cir – F, Irvine, CA 92614
The first address looks like a few random small buildings in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. The second address is just a storage unit.
Anyone here live in or near Silver Springs NV? Wanna stop by the address, knock on the door and ask to see their showroom or production facilities?
LOL
I really love this gem of a sentence at the bottom of the webpage: “ANY WEBSITE OR PERSON ADVERTIZE CIZETA AUTOMOBILE AND THERE LINK IS NOT ON OUR WEBSITE THEY ARE IMPOSTERS.”
To their credit at least someone updated the copyright date to say 2024.
Yeah it’s clear there is a lot of DIY half-assery on their webpage.
On the main page, they show a picture of “Legal owner of Cizeta Automobile”
And it’s a crappy in-car selfie… and his name isn’t listed. WHY?????
And there’s a video where at the end, it references http://mandellitbo.com/
And that’s a dead website now… I wonder what it was.
And when you click on “Click here for more pictures”, it takes you to a dead URL.
Honestly… if I had Saudi Prince levels of money, I’d try to order one… if only to be reasonably sure that the one I have is probably the last one that was gonna get built… IF that’s even possible… and if not, I’d have a good story to tell everyone.
Brought to you by the same folks who brought you Super Replicas
This should become a regular feature. We, the great unwashed, don’t get to see all these ridiculous “products” unless folks like you show them to us!
Let us join in the mockery! Remember the “PseudoCybertruck” at the auto show and your subsequent evisceration? We LOVED that!! Show us more! Show us how to spot the real potential products and let us hurl polemics at the fakes!
With a name like VaporBrands, I was suspicious that this was just a satirical performance art piece. But there’s a much simpler explanation that fits the circumstances much better:
It all makes sense now…maybe they’re also trying to be like Subaru and Nissan ha ha
Or they’re, you know, high as a kite.
This company, Olympia motors, Alpha Motor Corporation, DeLorean (the new one),
Atlis Motor VehiclesNXU (?)….Lots of the same shit, lots of different shovels… it’s getting very old at this point for these pump/dump schemes.
I worked well (for a bit) in ~2013-2021…not so much now.
Faraway future
Yep, and Arrival
I gotta say though, in terms of design, Alpha Motor Corp has (had?) it nailed. I love their designs. And hey, they did build one Alpha Wolf. I don’t know if it drove, or even had a powertrain, but it was a great looking 1/1 model of a car! They probably could have even pushed it down a hill and filmed it like Nikola did.
I know Gibson got all excited with the SG GT but it seems a but try hard to send everything to an Auto Journalist
Maybe you inexperienced ones are easy pickings….
Speaking of this kinda stuff, anyone know how the DeLorean saga is coming along?
Last I checked, there were 2 dueling companies, both claiming the mantle/the other is a fraud, but neither actually producing anything except hype. But that was what, like a year ago?
I mean, if there’s ever a car that seems perfect for this moment in time (EVgasm + retro fixation + pop culture + internet = win) it’s a new DeLorean.
Great question. I’d love to read about that.
Yeah, “1.21 Gigawatts! Great Scott!”
I always thought it was neat that they kept a ton of the new old stock so it’s possible to still order those parts/build a new one
My favorite part is how it was all originally bought up by…Big Lots.
Every time I go in one, I think “cleaning products, household goods, Delorean parts…this place has it all!”
Wait was one of those two companies the ones modifying Reliant Rialtos? Or was that a third “DeLorean” doing that? I think we need a run down article of every single company named or claiming to be DeLorean, but that might be more of a book than an article at this point.
There’s possibly another!? The two I’d read about are the one fronted by John D’s kids and the one that apparently bought the rights a while back.
It would be amazing if there’s yet another of these. Hard to think of another single car model that’s both this iconic and this dysfunctional. Now I really want to know more.
I FOUND IT – There’s a Motor1 article about the debacle, it’s quite a read, and I have no clue what’s happened since, but man were decisions made.
Thank you!! I wouldn’t have thought things could get better, but an illegitimate son, the freakin’ Reliant, and a claim that this was the original idea back in the ’80s!? I feel you are correct and this is book-level crazy at this point.
If you want your funds to disappear into v a p o r, I have a Porsche I need to finish fixing.
You no fix parsh?
Never finish fix parsh, fixt to end of parsh, beginning of parsh break; like paint Forth Bridge.
It’s close, but there’s a few things it still needs.
i’ll take my elio down to the dealership.
Too bad I already invested in the Scamsarus Motors Vapelord over9000, which will be electric with a range of 500 miles AND come with a V8 you can slot in whenever you feel like it, because cars work like that. Just had to make a check out to Confident Automotive Synergy Holdings for my deposit, though for some reason they insist you use the acronym.
The GTS needs to get rid of the grille, scoops, and vents and go with a breadvan layout in the back. It would look so much better AND be aerodynamically cleaner. That shape/style of car can actually lend itself very well to being slippery.
Couple a Cd value of about 0.20(doable with some tweaks. The Panhard CD Peugeot 66C longtail has a 0.13), with low frontal area(no more than 1.5 m^2 is needed), and two Hyper9 systems running at about 240 horsepower, with a small-ish 40 kWh battery, could easily allow a 250+ mile range car that weighs under 2,500 lbs, which runs 11 second 1/4 miles, could corner with the best of them, and with the continuous power available top out at close to 180 mph.
It wouldn’t cost much to build, either, relative to these luxobarge SUVs on the market. With more volume, those Hyper9 systems would drop in price. Something akin to this theoretical car, if produced in high enough volume, could potentially cost as little as an MX5 ND.
And because of its mid-engined layout, the front of the car could have a generous frunk.
I love the Corinthian leather shader on the 904 Dino mashup.
Oh, man, I already invested my retirement savings into Olympian and used my Nobe refund as a deposit on an Alpha, and now this has to come up
I wonder if I can cancel my wire transfer to that Nigerian prince so I can invest in this instead…
hahaha, you got scammed. Everyone knows the Nigerian’s don’t use wire transfers. They use bitcoin.
Hahah, the joke’s on both of you! I paid using Apple gift cards!
The IRS wants me to pay them with Apple gift cards.