These Chunky Bumper Guards That Washed Your Headlights Are The Holy Grail Of VW Accessories

M288 Top
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If David is allowed to lose his lettuce about a bunch of bent pipes that Jeep sold as a spare tire carrier then I think I’m entitled to take a moment to geek out on another incredibly rare accessory for some iconic cars. An accessory so rare that I’ve never actually even seen a set of them myself, though like David and his spare tire contraption, it haunts my dreams. The accessory I’m talking about is technically known as Volkswagen M-code option 288, “headlight washer system.”

If those words don’t send sparks of illicit thrill-tricity down your spine then I’d suggest that you get that pulse checked, friend. This is an option that brings the magic and dazzle of headlight washer systems to air-cooled VWs, and, even better, does it with that magical combination of clunkiness and cleverness that perhaps we could call clunverness. Or maybe clevkiness. Whatever it is, I want to grind it into a fine powder and do a fat rail of it off a mirror. So, if you will, let me introduce you to M288, the Headlight Washer System, or The Pair of Big Chunky Rubber Bumper Guards That Squirt Clean-Juice At Your Headlights.

I first noticed this option mentioned on The Samba’s huge list of VW M-codes, which were VW’s way of categorizing their surprisingly vast array of options ranging from rear fog lamps to mud flaps to special equipment for various countries and climates, which actually seems to be the category that M288 fits into, as it appears to be something primarily intended for the Swedish market. This isn’t terribly surprising, as the Swedish market has traditionally been more safety-oriented and deals with inclement weather, so the safety benefits of keeping headlights clean when they may get splashed with muddy slush or snow or whatever makes sense, and we’ve seen other Scandinavia-specific VW options before, such as the large-reflector taillights I covered here before.

I’ve seen references to M288 as being available on both Beetles (Type 1) and Buses (Type 2), but despite some pretty specific references to these being available for Beetles and Super Beetles, I have yet to find any pictures of the setup installed on a Beetle. Luckily, there’s a number of pictures of the version made for the Type 2 buses, so that’s what we’ll be looking at. Here’s what the M288 option kit consists of:

M288diagram

Essentially, it’s a pair of large rubber bumper guards or overriders, whatever you want to call them, that have a squirt nozzle mounted on their tops, and those nozzles are connected, via a lot of rubber hose, to a reservoir that is integrated into a new right-hand lower interior kick panel, and fluid from that reservoir is pumped via a 12V fluid pump also mounted in that new kick panel. Here’s what it looks like:

Washerinplace

 

See what I mean about that combination of clunky and clever? Those bumper guards have to be pretty tall to be in the right position to clean those headlights, but I bet they work pretty well as bumper guards as well as pedestals for squirting fluid at sealed beams. I’m sure you’re dying to see these in action, so boy are you in luck:

Here’s more of that same bus, spraying automotive cleansing tears:

Man, that’s good stuff. Why are headlight washers so cool? Especially when applied to a car that never seems to have considered the need for them? A lot of modern cars have those sleek pop-out headlight washers, and those are great, but what I like about M288 is the incredible afterthoughtness of it all. It feels like someone just surprised a room full of VW designers and engineers and told them, crap, we just found out that Sweden requires headlight washers! How the hell are we going to pull that off?

There were probably a lot of sketches of strange deploying arms or complex replacement headlight buckets or something like that, before one of those designers or engineers had the brilliant brainstorm to just jam the things on top of some bumper guards. It’s so simple and smart I want to scream.

M288 Parts

You know what else is interesting about M288? In looking at pictures of the parts online, like what you see above, it’s funny how just by looking at those things I think I could tell it’s a 1970s-era VW product. That particular molded plastic grain pattern is like a fingerprint, and I recognize it from armrests and plastic seat side panels and any number of little parts from the VWs I’ve had. I suspect there’s plenty of other VW people who would have the same reaction, as I’m also sure there’s idiosyncratic detail markers for parts from most manufacturers. It’s just strange how familiar these parts feel even though I’ve never actually seen any of these in person, and it’s unlikely I ever will.

Well, maybe I will, at some VW show in Europe somewhere. Who knows? I’d also love to see how these look on a Beetle; did the Beetle have shorter bumper guards, or are they just huge-ass black obelisks that hang off the front bumper? There must be a Beetle with M288 installed on it somewhere in Scandinavia, right?

After all, David managed to find one of his desired spare tire carriers in a junkyard. Perhaps dreams do come true.

 

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66 thoughts on “These Chunky Bumper Guards That Washed Your Headlights Are The Holy Grail Of VW Accessories

  1. From an outsiders perspective, the aircooled VW community really views their rides as merely a blank canvas to be festooned with rare accessories, don’t they?

    That said, this idea is absolutely brilliant and if I found a set I’d be very tempted to buy a whole car just to put them on it. Or I’d send them to you, but that might cause a joy overload frying the idea-pump and you’d write only about the bumper guards until the end of time.

    As a side note, I fully expected the headlight washers to be powered by the air from the spare tire and I’m disappointed they aren’t.

    1. Yeah, in the vintage air cooled community, period correct bolt-on accessories are equivalent to buttons on the dash of late 80s/early 90s luxury cars, the more you have, the higher your status

  2. Is it just me or does that sound and look like a moist dog sneeze?

    I was expecting a streaming spray, not the pshhhtt of a sneeze-wash. I suspect is is more effective this way and also saves fluid. Brilliant.

  3. > Whatever it is, I want to grind it into a fine powder and do a fat rail of it off a mirror.

    So that’s what really happened to that Changli battery.

  4. It could be argued that the reservoir in the kick plate is actually serving as a crumple zone in the event of a frontal impact, perhaps quadrupling the amount of protection your feet get in a collision.

    Sort of like a miniature version of those yellow water barrels they set up like bowling pins at highway exits, but on a tiny and presumably much less effective scale.

  5. I need this contraption in my life. Affixed to both bumpers, front and rear.
    However, I would alter them so the nozzles spray away from my car.
    I’d also have multiple reservoirs of liquids of my choosing.
    How close other drivers cut me off or ride my ass would determine which reservoir of fluid I choose to spray at them.

      1. I had a friend who aimed one of his windscreen-washer jets so that it went sideways towards the pavement. A dick move now I think about it, but as kids we thought it was hilarious.

    1. In high school, I removed the directional nozzle from the rear wiper of my GTI so the steam would spray straight out. Got several friends in parking lots that way.

  6. Someday, I said to myself as a young teenager, I will have headlight washers. That day finally came in 2002. It was a Mercedes W210 wagon, or maybe they call the wagons S210. Anyway, it was not as exciting as I had hoped. The problem was, as people smarter than me would’ve anticipated, when you activate the washer from the driver’s seat you don’t get to see it work, which is the point of any gadget. If I push the button and something happens but I don’t see it happen, screw that. I guess I could’ve brought a full length mirror out to the driveway, but I didn’t have one of those. I did have a wife, however.

    So after an embarrassing explanation of what I wanted to do, she got in the car and I planted my face down in front of the left headlight so I could fulfill a lifelong desire to see these washers in action. I’ve included a link to a youtube video so the interested can see the situation I put myself in, but for those who won’t click: these are the most powerful headlight washers the world has ever seen. I got completely drenched by blowback and in addition for some reason my washers shot some water forward right into my face like in a Three Stooges movie. Washer fluid burns like the dickens when it gets in your eyes.

    It’s the hardest I’ve seen my wife laugh.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vm6bkyPfvo

    1. If people can add aftermarket key fobs for remote door poppers and windows and what have you, you could absolutely add a custom key fob for activating headlight washers from outside the car.

  7. At least it doesn’t run off the spare tire and I suppose it is better than having your headlights washed on impact. (-;
    Next up the bumper mounted squeeze bulb horn, get out of my way, honk!

  8. “Big Chunky Rubber Bumper Guards That Squirt Clean-Juice At Your Headlights.“

    Hey now. What happens in your bedroom, stays in your bedroom, mkay?

  9. Why not just have the spare wheel on the front (was that even an M-code option or just something us hippies did?) and power the whole system from there? 😉

    1. Since I’ve always viewed headlights as the eyes of the car, I’m now imagining if tear ducts were actually little glandular nodules below your eyes that spray fluid on them when you sneeze if your eyes get dirty.

  10. One of these days, someone is going to find the actual Holy Grail. When that happens, I sincerely hope The Autopian is the first site to get to drink from it and pubish an article titled “This Grail is the Holy Grail of Grails.”

      1. Nope. Then we would get a lovely article about what an amazing deal this actual Holy Grail was and how two weeks fixing it nearly broke David Tracy, an ordeal that will become the subject of a 6-part video series, ending in an uplifting look at David, now immortal, pondering an eternity of Holy Grail Jeeps.

  11. You should do a deap dive into MB’s ribbed taillight designs from the 70’s. Apparently they were an aerodynamic solution to keep them clean. It’s fun how they became a styling signature.

  12. First of all these were mandatory in Sweden starting 1972, don’t have it, can’t register your car. Plenty of quirky on the fly solutions for cars ending their model run in 1972, i.e. W108/109 Mercedes.
    Nowadays the pop up nozzle solution without wiper blades (like your example) have remained as more cost efficient.

    1. I have never seen Mercedes-Benz W108/W109 with headlamp wipers (that is from the factory), only W114/W115. With the vertical curvation of the lens on W108/W109, it’s gonna be a challenge of figuring out the wipers so they more or less clean lenses.

        1. Would be swell to see the photos of that! Were the wipers only for the main beam or also for both main and high beam (as on BMW 5- and 7-Series in the 1970s and 1980s)?

          When researching, I came across the W114/W115 with both US sealed-beam headlamps and wipers for the US market. I had no idea that Mercedes-Benz offered the kit there as I have never seen one on the US model.

          Photo 1 and Photo 2

    2. I have a collection of owners manuals scrounged from gloveboxes at wrecking yards, and amongst those for the Datsun 610 (known as 180B in Australia) I somehow ended up with the European version of the manual, which showed they had headlight washers/wipers on cars sold in Sweden. To do this on a car with quad 5 3/5″ sealed beams required special sealed beam units with flat front glass. I had my various 180Bs before the advent of parts hunting on eBay, otherwise I would probably have been compulsively searching the net for all the parts required to convert mine, even though I had absolutely no need of headlight wipers/washers (tailight nerdery in serious cases can extend to headlight obsession too!)

  13. How the hell are we going to pull that off?

    By powering it with the spare tire pressure obviously!

    (imagines fat bonus for such a genius idea)

    What?, the spare is already powering the wipers?

    Damn, I guess we gotta fork out the dough for a pump. There goes my bonus 🙁

    1. To clarify, the spare provided air pressure to operate the windshield sprayer nozzles; the wipers themselves were operated by an electric motor in the usual way.

      1. Hold the phone!! That gives me an idea!

        Wait for it……

        MANIFOLD VACUUM!! Just like an Audi’s power windows and locks!!

        Ahhh, my fat bonus is now assured.

    2. According to the owners manual for my 72 Super Beetle, there was some sort of pressure valve in the washer fluid system that was designed to keep you from deflating your spare tire too much.

      I tried testing this, but the system in my car won’t pressurize. Interestingly, the washer fluid hoses actually run up and into the car through the steering column and under the steering wheel, where the system is activated by pulling the windshield wiper stalk forward. Not sure if that was a common thing on older cars, but the VW system is unique in that a malfunction could leave you with both a flat spare tire and wet pants.

      1. My parent’s ’76 Microbus had a spontaneous failure of the washer ‘switch’, which fried the indicator switch mechanism, which we replaced by a pair of toggle switches. At least it had no effect on the spare – the buses of that era had a thick walled plastic washer reservoir that was pressurised directly with a Schraeder valve mounted on the reservoir.

  14. Jason, These practically scream for 3D printer magic. I bet someone with moderate skills could print some up for your Beetle. The rest of the mechanism parts all look like they could be sourced from off the shelf. I bet there’s some space in the frunk for the reservoir and pump. A momentary SPST under the dash and you’d be all set.

    For Type 2s a kick panel could also be printed, although I assume that might be too large for most 3D printers.

    1. I’m not sure 3D printing would be necessary. There are already aftermarket kick panels available that can house speakers; with some minor tweaking I suspect they could be adapted to hold a reservoir, though not a large one.

      1. I’m not sure 3D printing would be necessary.

        You clearly don’t own a 3d printer. If you did you would know that 3d printing is always the answer (3iata?). 😉

    2. could we please have a foot-pump in the kick panel? A passenger would be mandatory to drive in inclement weather.
      or it could be on the driver’s side, linked to the brake pedal, since people love to use that randomly in soft weather.

  15. An actual 12V electric pump for spraying washer fluid at glass?? That’s crazy talk!

    Though the spare would probably be flat in no time from running all the nozzles.

  16. I’d never heard of these, but they are super cool. And the sort of thing that probably wasn’t even touched by aftermarket, unlike the Jeep thingamajig. I’ve never had headlight washers, but now I want these ones, specifically. On a Type 2 pickup. Maybe that one in the photo.

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