You know what’s not a lot of fun? Getting rear-ended while driving. In fact, we dislike this form of human interaction so much that in 1986, a law was passed that mandated a third, high-mounted brake light (called a Center High-Mount Stop Lamp, or CHMSL), something that had been proven to be effective since 1974, when formal tests were first undertaken. The light works; a 2014 report from, of all places, the American Psychological Association notes that since the adoption of third brake lamps, “there have been about 200,000 fewer crashes, 60,000 fewer injuries, and more than $600 million in property damage saved every year,” which is no joke.
CHMSLs are as much a part of the fabric of our lives now as such lesser elements as the nuclear family and the aching beauty of a sunset. But could the CHMSL somehow be improved? And, if so, could it be improved by combining it with a rear windshield wiper? I’m happy to tell you. that I do believe this is possible. Let me show you.
The concept is wildly simple: on vehicles that include a rear-window wiper – which, thanks to the prevalence of SUVs and crossovers is a very significant portion of the automotive landscape – there exists an opportunity to mount the mandated third brake lamp right onto, or integrated into, the rear wiper arm, thusly:
Looks good, right? Of course it does. Now, once we combine the CHMSL and wiper, bold new worlds of wiping and CHMSL-ing open up. Well, really, two things open up, perhaps three. First, the wiper mount means that the CHMSL is now able to move, in an arc, like a rainbow or a roach crawling on the Arc de Triomphe. This means that we can place the CHMSL in other positions along that arc, say vertically, as a higher-visibility position in conditions where more attention is desired for a driver’s braking:
Also, in emergency braking situations, the CHMSL can wave back and forth, boldly (visually) shrieking its warning, a very eye-grabbing and attention-seizing display that should awaken even the least attentive of drivers:
Plus, in rainy weather, when visibility is already impaired, the wiper and CHMSL will already be in motion, helping to make each and every braking event obvious and safe, even in the most brutal of thunderstorms.
Tell me this isn’t a good idea! Why hasn’t any bold and safety-focused carmaker attempted this yet? We have the technology, all we have lacked is the will. Perhaps that will now change.
CHMSLs belong on wipers!
I tell you why this has not been done, it’s distracting, looks incredibly stupid, and probably has very little chance of remaining reliable for any stretch of time.
I’d much rather see a brake light on the front of vehicles (maybe in the center of the grill) so you can tell if oncoming drivers are at least thinking about stopping.
Pop-up headlights died because regulations said lights can’t be on moving body parts anymore, right?
….right?
Jason’s second worst idea ever.
(The absolute worst involved a chain saw.)
It seems really, really inconvenient to have to look back through a raver’s glowstick trail every time I try to look behind me with the brakes on.
Hard pass on this one.
Well, if that isn’t a Weird Taillight idea, I don’t know what is.
Because wires hate flexing a lot.
This is not a good idea. Mr. Torchinsky, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
On the one hand, a lot of cars have the center light and rear wiper as a single module already, so this is not much of a stretch.
On the other, I see so many cars with the rear wiper ripped off, which would be a ticketable offense with this.
I kinda get where you’re coming from, but imagine the following scenario:
It’s rush hour, a rainy day, evening is coming and with the heavy clouds ambient light levels are already pretty dark. You come up to a red light, in front of you are 40 cars in two lanes with frantically spinning red lights moving in and out of synch, reflecting off windows, buildings, the wet road and the raindrops on your windscreen.
I feel like best case scenario that’s going to be immensely disorienting, worst case scenario somebody is going to have a seizure.
No. That’s nuts. Go back to bed.
Ok, ok. Interesting idea, but all I can think about is trying to figure out what car your illustration is based on. I have been behind that car before (sans the light-saber wiper), but I can’t place it.
I see far too many rear wipers that are physically broken – either dangling below the window or hastily taped on. Plus, how many CUV drivers even use their rear wiper. I don’t think this is a particularly good idea.
You know that’s going to be a $2,500 part when it inevitably breaks, yeah?