Good morning, Autopians! It’s Friday once again, and once again I have had a hell of a week. Let’s just say this year has been a little too eventful for my taste so far. I long for a little boredom. Maybe that’s why I picked a lot of mundane cars this week. I’m going to keep it simple this week: just a straight-ahead four-way shootout between the week’s winners. However, the usual rule applies about the comments: You do not get full credit unless you show your work.
So let’s take a quick peek back at yesterday’s wagon battle and crown our fourth champion. I knew the Mopar streak couldn’t last, especially with that charming little green Datsun in the running. And indeed, that poverty-spec Aspen wagon got left in the dust.
You may be surprised to hear it from a die-hard Chrysler fan like me, but I think this is the right call. As cool as a crooked shift lever angled back over a bench seat is, that’s about the only thing the Aspen has going for it. Emissions-era Slant Sixes didn’t run nearly as well as the old “dirty” ones did, and that car is bound to be a nightmare of electrical gremlins eventually, if it isn’t already. Chrysler engineers, for some reason, decided to install an ammeter in the dashboard instead of a voltmeter like everyone else. Every bit of wiring in the car passes through it, so you can imagine what happens when it fails. On a hill. In rush-hour traffic. In the rain. Ask me how I know. No, I’ll stick with the reliable fuel-injected Datsun, thanks.
So that’s our foursome for the week. Let’s quickly recap, so you can make an informed decision.
1985 Pontiac Trans Am – $1,200
This old third-generation F-body is one of those “good news/bad news” deals. It’s a Trans Am, with all the suspension and interior perks thereof, and even better, it’s a five-speed manual. However, its high-output Chevy V8 has suffered a broken camshaft, and is currently in pieces, so this is currently not much more than flashy ’80s yard art.
Most of you agreed with my assessment that the old 305 probably isn’t worth fixing, especially since small-block V8s are so easy to come by. Drop in as much or as little power as you like, upgrade the gearbox as needed, and go have some fun.
1991 Dodge Dynasty – $1,150
This old Dodge is the textbook definition of a “beater.” It runs like a top, and isn’t a terrible car to drive – comfortable, though handling isn’t its strong suit – but it looks like absolute hell. You can drive this car anywhere, park it with impunity, and send it off to the great used car lot in the sky with no guilt if something goes catastrophically wrong.
You won’t spend much time in the fast lane in this one. While the majority of Dynastys had either a Mitsubishi 3.0 liter or Chrysler’s own 3.3 liter V6 under the hood, this base model makes do with a 2.5 liter inline four. The good news is that it’s a whole hell of a lot easier to service and repair than the sixes, and it’s paired with a reliable three-speed Torqueflite transmission rather than the finicky and trouble-prone Ultradrive four-speed.
1979 Dodge Omni – $3,500
This near-perfect early Dodge Omni seems to have taken the ordinary-car internet communty by storm. (Yes, believe it or not, there now seems to be an ordinary-car internet community now.) I’ve seen this car referenced in at least two or three places since it first came up for sale. Everyone seems to agree that the automatic transmission in it is a bit of a letdown, but I still expect this little car to find a new home before long.
It really is a time capsule: the bright blue vinyl, the simulated woodgrain, the simple AM/FM radio, even the aftermarket cupholder/center console storage, it all brings back memories for those of us of a certain age. Its carbureted 1.7 liter Volkswagen engine only puts out something like 70 horsepower, so it isn’t really up to the task of modern daily use, but it would be a hit at any Saturday morning Cars & Coffee.
1977 Datsun 810 – $4,400
Finally this week, we have this delightful little Japanese wagon. Datsun’s 810 was the predecessor to the popular Maxima, Nissan’s big sporty sedan, and even at this early stage the sportiness was there. This car is powered by a fuel-injected version of the same overhead-cam inline six as the 240Z. This is no one’s idea of a sports car, obviously, but it should be a bit snappier than your average ’70s small wagon, especially with a four-speed stick.
Even better, it’s a fairly low-mileage Japanese car, back from when their only natural enemy was rust. Since this one has enjoyed a life in sunny southern California, that isn’t a concern. It’s a classic, mainly because there aren’t many like it left, but it’s a classic you could drive everyday.
Now, very quickly, before we get to the voting: We’ve had a couple of reader-suggested cars this week, and I absolutely love that. Not only do I appreciate the help, but I want you all to feel like you’re a part of all this. But the truth is that not every car listing is suitable for our purposes. So I want to give you all a couple of pointers on what to look for:
- Photos! I typically use four, sometimes five, photos of each car, so obviously there need to be at least that many. Not only that, but they need to be halfway decent images of the car. I’m not one to criticize anyone’s photography skills – just ask my wife – but well-framed and well-lit photos are important. And generally speaking, I like to see a couple of angles of the exterior, one of the interior, and one underhood shot.
- It’s easier for me if the description and information in the ad is as complete as possible. If all it says is “New tires runs good,” that’s not much to go on. Particularly, if a car is available with more than one engine, it helps if the seller mentions which one is in it.
- Personally, I can’t stand trying to browse Facebook Marketplace, but I’m happy to use listings from there. Or Craigslist, or Autotrader, or Hemmings, or anywhere with a listed price, really. I try to stay away from auction listings, because price is sometimes a deciding factor.
As long as those are satisfied, go for it! Send suggestions to our tip line, tips@theautopian.com, or post them to the Shitbox Showdown channel on our Discord server. Submit one car, or a pair you think would go well together.
For now, it’s time to choose your favorite of these four. Discuss, debate, and cast your vote.
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist sellers)
I picked the TransAm. I think I can build a strong SBC easy enough, I’d farm out the transmission for beefing/replacement. It will cost more than it’s worth, but that’s OK.
A lot of people converted the T5 cars to 350 or vice versa back in the day. I think if you drive sanely it’ll hold up unless you go wild on the motor. And crate 350’s are still widely available, it would be so easy to build this car.
“…puts out something like 70 horsepower, so it isn’t really up to the task of modern daily use…”
I completely agree that’s excessive for daily use but it should be manageable as long as you keep your foot out of it.
That beautiful green will always get my vote. It makes my heart happy.
I voted for every one of these, which is weird, because I’m often in the minority around here. I just can’t say no to that Datsun. It’s so charming. It’s in a great color. It’s a manual. It’s nice, but not too nice. What a lovely little thing it is. I wouldn’t do a damn thing to it, except drive it.
Surfboards, extension ladders, mixing boxes, 16′ lengths of 2″ x 8″, canoes, dinghies, masts, standup basses, and blankets to nest up when the stars came out.
The top of a LongRoof was a yooj piece of American culcha for a long, long time.
“Hey, throw me that line, and I’ll show you how to tie a trucker’s hitch.”
-the clarion call of the weekend warrior!
Had to go with the Datsun. I think it could be polished up a bit and be the most unique car in whatever area it’s in.
Manual, non-T-top, good shell F-body is the only correct answer here.
What a week. A broken T/A in need of a transplant, a Dodge Dynasty in need of an old priest/young priest, an Omni that looks original and new (and was never good) and a green 70’s Datsun wagon with 240 motor from probably peak Datsun/Nissan. Make mine that wagon!
I apparently voted incorrectly this week since only the Trans Am ended up winning. If I have to choose among these four, I am going with the Omni. I am a fan of preserved “ordinary” cars. I also like that this thing is basically a 4 wheeled smurf. I don’t think I have ever seen a bluer car. I’m not even sure a bluer car has ever existed. I’m not even sure a bluer car can exist. In a world where all cars must be a shade of grey, this car stands out. I wouldn’t buy it, but I would take a long look at it if I saw it at a car show.
I still want that Riviera, though.
> I’m not even sure a bluer car has ever existed. I’m not even sure a bluer car can exist.
I have a long wheelbase MB that’s blue outside with blue carpet and seats. It’s unimaginably blue.
I liked the Datsun the first time, and here it’s irresistible. If I lived closer, I might even check it out. The Omni isn’t a bad runner-up, but even at $1k less, it’s not a car I’d want. The Datsun has a lot going for it.
Easily the Datsun.
Especially over a non-running Trans Am that doesn’t even have T-tops and a couple Chryslers LOL
Don’t you know the slicktop is the one to get.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The whole point of buying a Camaro, Firebird, or Trans Am is the T-TOPS 😀
That’s like THE identifying feature of those cars. Camaro? Yeah, the car with the T-tops 😛
So, I’ve had a slicktop 3rd Gen Camaro. I’ve also had a T-Top Z31 300ZX, as well as a few convertibles and cars with sunroofs (including a huge panaramic one) and moonroofs. Of all of the open air possibilities, I’d say T-top was my least favorite. The main reason is having to take them out and store them. Plus there’s my friend who was cruising in his T-top 70’s Vette only to have one fly up, and then come down and shatter into a billion pieces.
But – I actually hate the term slicktop. I’ll acknowledge that it isn’t special, and you should call your car that. I first heard it when I was looking for a e46 BMW (I now have a convertible one) and I looked at one at a shop and dude kept going one and on about how rare they were and how much better they were for the track. All the time I’m thinking I don’t track my car, and they’re rare because only the stripper models didn’t get a sunroof.
To rate what I like, it would be convertible, then panaromic roof, then moonroof, then sunroof, and finally t-tops.
I just realized that of the 31 years I have been owning cars, in 24 of them I have owned a station wagon with a manual transmission. Voting Datsun!
That said, I hovered for a quite a while over the Firebird. Replacing the engine in that and showing up to my next high school reunion with it would, well, be something. Or just cruising around with my wife and I both dolled up in our 80s best (jean jacket and white sneakers?).
I dunno: I finally donated my last Chess King shirt of that era a couple decades back when I realized I couldn’t pull it off without the hair even if it still fit just fine
The Datsun. Again.
i know the Datsun is going to be the darling here, but I don’t care. I irrationally love 80’s F-bodies, and once had a mullet (in the appropriate era). All of this this tracks, and I make no apologies for any of it.
I’m in the chorus here: Datsun because the Omni has an automatic
Also, RWD 6 > FWD 4.
Way true
-but, as a 3 decade lighweight fwd shitbox aficionado, I might have gone with the Omni if 3-pedled—partly because it wouldn’t have hurt my heart to take out an Omni, whereas abusing the Datsun to complete death would be a bit of a crime 😉
Well the Datsun was the only winner I voted for so Datsun. The Horizon is the only other one I would even drive. The other 2 not even for free
Datsun ftw. My first vehicle was a 1976 Datsun King Cab with a trusty 4 banger and a 4-speed stick shift. Super reliable, fun little truck and unkillable as long as you kept oil and gas in it. Except for rust – rust was what did mine in since we lived in hot, humid south Alabama. It got stolen in 1979, and the vodka-fueled perp ran it into a ditch and passed out with his foot on the accelerator until the gas tank ran dry, burying the rear wheels in dirt up to the axle. But it recovered without needing any major repairs and served us well until 1984, when the tin worm finally won.
Datsun is the least worst of the bunch. I’d probably have gone for the Omni instead, but that automatic will drain enough horsepower to make it a short-distance proposition. Give the Dodge a manual, and it’d have a good chance of coming out on top.
The way I look at these, the basic proposition is to hand over a small amount of cash and leave with a driver. If we include “buy a crate motor and some brake and suspension parts and have a ball,” the Poncho would win, hands-down.
I was all set to go with the Datsun or Omni, but changed my vote to the TA when I decided a boosted V6 would be the way to go.
That Datsun is too good to pass up. I’d be tempted by the trans am if I was handy, but I’m not. Motor swaps are beyond my skill set.
Kinda my thinking too. But if you want to learn the basics of a motor swap, that 3rd gen TA would be a good candidate due to the variety of choices that should bolt in without too much struggle. My understanding is that the motors in the 4th gen Camaro/Firebirds are stuffed well under the cowl making swaps much more difficult. Someone with actual experience feel free to jump in.
Still, the Datsun is in too good of shape and is too unique to pass up. Bonus that the drive train should have support probably for as long as gasoline is available for purchase due to its use in the 240Z.
Datsun, followed by Omni.
This is the way.
Well I didn’t vote for it the first time, but in this context, the charm and novelty of the Omni wins the day.
Datsun is my choice. It was my choice yesterday too.
Manual. Wagon. Reasonably different, but also reliable.
Datsun. All day.
I went against the grain. If the Firebird at least fired up, I would take it. From the standpoint of a beater with a heater, the Dynasty win. It even has the look of the car in the name.