Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! Today we’re off to the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and Saint Paul, Minnesota, home to Paisley Park, the Mall of America, a giant sculpture of a spoon with a cherry on it, and snow. Lots and lots of snow.
But before we head north, let’s see how our California rides did:
Yeah. That would be my choice, too. That V6-powered petri dish of a Chrysler minivan is the stuff of nightmares. The five-speed Ford Focus takes the cake. Now you just need to get a ride out to pick it up from Missy–I mean, Mom.
[Editor’s Note: Luckily Mark provided me with a cheat-sheet for today’s pop-culture references. I’d have gotten the “Tru-Coat” one, but that’s all. From Mark:
Oh, and “Missy-I mean, Mom” is a joke from the Bill & Ted movies, Tru-Coat is a Fargo reference, Ole and Lena jokes are a time-honored Minnesota tradition, and the Replacements were a Minneapolis hard rock band in the ’80s whose live shows were famous for being rowdy and out-of-control. Hope this helps.
-DT]
And now…
Ole and Lena went to the county fair, and saw a sign that said “AIRPLANE RIDES $10.” Ole said, “Lena, let’s go take a ride on the airplane.”
But Lena replied, “Oh Ole, don’t go throwin’ yer money around like that. Ten dollars is ten dollars.”
The pilot overheard this and told them, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you up for the ride, and if neither of you makes a single sound or says a single word, when we land, I won’t charge ya.”
They agreed, and took the ride. The pilot did loops, barrel rolls, everything he could think of to get them to shout or scream, and… nothing.
“Boy, I gotta hand it to ya,” the pilot said after they landed. “I’ve never had anyone be able to keep quiet before.”
Ole replied, “Well, I almost said somethin’ when Lena fell out, but she’s right; ten dollars is ten dollars.”
Which is to say, Minnesotans are a thrifty bunch. They tend to use things up all the way down to the nub to keep from having to spend money. This makes cheap used cars that don’t already have one foot in the junkyard hard to find. But I did manage to find a couple of likely-looking inexpensive clunkers that aren’t even all that rusty. (I mean, that Tru-Coat™ can only do so much).
And here they are.
1996 Toyota Camry – $999
Engine/drivetrain: 2.2 liter inline 4, 4 speed automatic, FWD
Location: Osseo, MN
Odometer reading: 201,000 miles
Runs/drives? You betcha
Imagine a car so durable, so trouble-free, that The Onion once made fun of it for being too good. A car so legendarily dull that in some parts of the country it is actually used as a sleep aid. A car available in five different shades of tan/taupe/beige that all somehow manage to clash with each other. A car that Just. Won’t. Die. That car is this car, the XV10 Toyota Camry.
This particular Camry has clearly not led an easy life. From the mismatched driver’s door to the hail damage to the obviously-not-the-right-size rear tires, it bears the scars of a life used casually and cared for haphazardly, as so many Camrys do. Somehow, miraculously, it has managed to avoid acquiring the “Camry Dent,” but I think the bashed-in left rear door and missing fuel door (why are they always missing on these?) make up for it.
It also shows a healthy dose of “Minnesota weight reduction” around the rear wheel arches, but for 26 winters in, it’s not terrible. Inside, it actually looks kinda nice, and it’s fancy as Camrys go, with leather seats and fake wood on the dash. Heck, it’s practically a Lexus. Or at least as close as Ole and Lena are likely to get.
The seller says it has an oil leak, but doesn’t specify where. If it’s just that seeping valve cover gasket shown in the photos, that’s nothing. Twenty bucks, a ten-millimeter socket, and an hour, and you’re leak free. If you can get past the cosmetic deficiencies, this could be a decent cheap winter car for a few years. I mean, two hundred thousand miles? That’s just about broken-in.
1994 Chevrolet S-10 – $900
Engine/drivetrain: 4.3 liter V6, 5 speed manual, RWD
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Odometer reading: 238,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yah sure
The second-generation Chevy S-10 is better than people give it credit for. The blobby styling is arguably a step back from its square-jawed predecessor, especially once it gets some dings and dents, and the interior plastics lasted about a week, but mechanically these little pickups are stout. They were cheap, and considered somewhat disposable, but refused to be disposed of. It’s not uncommon to see them looking like absolute hell but running fine, which personally I’d take over the other way around, especially in a truck.
This one has some questionable modifications – the lowered suspension, the stereo that you know is connected to some gigantic carpet-covered subwoofer box behind the seat, those wheels – but the bones are good. GM’s three-fourths-of-a-350 4.3 liter V6 is a good engine, and the NV3500 transmission is rock-solid, though the shifter can get pretty sloppy after a while.
The photo of the dash is encouraging, and a good thing for the seller to include: warming up, idling at 800 RPM, no warning lights, everything in the green. Whatever indignities have been forced upon this S-10 cosmetically, it is, by all appearances, a good-running little truck. It’s likely to be as raucous and noisy inside that little cab as a Replacements show at First Avenue, but you don’t buy a truck like this for luxury.
And yeah, it’s rusty. If I had to guess, those new front fenders are there because the originals were flapping in the breeze at the bottom. It would be worth taking a close look at the frame to make sure the rust is confined to the body, but the telltale gap between the bed and the cab is nice and even still; that is a good sign.
There you have it – two rusty beaters from the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Which slice of Minnesota Not-So-Nice will it be?
S-10 all the way. Go to the junkyard and fix that suspension. Rattle can the body a fun color and enjoy the stout 4.3.
Truck life baby!
Had versions of both, and I’d never actually consider these two steaming piles for reasons related to those experiences. And that’s coming from a perpetual beater driver (in other words, I’m not too good for an old car, hell I drive a freaking ’74 Chevy pickup as one of my daily drivers).
If the S10 were an extended cab (my single cab killed me) and not trashed, maybe it would be decent with the V-6 and manual. As it stands, I’d look elsewhere.
Gun to my head? Pull the trigger, I dare ya. Still not looking or even calling on either one.
Poll isn’t showing up for me, either, which I guess is kinda fitting since I don’t really have a vote anyway!
Both of these are too high. Even in the current market. Talk the Camry down to $700 and the S10 to $800 and they’re worth it. I voted for the pickemuptruck
I was all S-10 until “lowered”. Nope. Rusted modified suspension=walk away.
I’m down for the S10. I modify alot of them at my shop and some have stupid high miles and keep on going. Also can be made into sporty trucks…plus a whole ass bed!
I vote for the Camry because I have NO DOUBT that the S10 owner has been hooning with it! 😉
I’ll take the S10, but as a former 95 S10 SS owner, I’ve got a soft spot.
By the way. Those wheels are factory ZQ8 suspension wheels. They’re painted, which is unfortunate, and not stock as the ZQ8 trucks didn’t get those wheels and the factory lowered suspension till 1996.
No interior shots? How can we tell if Bob Mould is inside?
He’s been out for a while now.
At the risk of getting overly personal in the replies of a car website, his video for Hold On is basically exactly what my life is at the moment and it’s kinda freaking me out honestly.
Uh, well… your flannel & beard game must be strong, then!
Stay safe, don’t be like Bob – use ear plugs. (He’s one of the loudest performers I’ve ever witnessed.)
I have had positive reviews on the flannel/beard front.
Can we have the third choice with the smart-ass reference to the Triumph Spitfire back?
No, but I’ll try to work in a Spitfire as a choice one of these days. Can’t guarantee it will be something you’d want to drive, though.
As the owner of a 1980 Spitfire, my standards are pretty lax when things get adorable and British.
Modified suspension on a beat S10?
In the words of Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast:
No. No no no no no no no. No. No No No No No.
This one is a tough choice, and it depends if I am buying it to drive in Minnesota or if I am buying it to drive down south where I live now.
I prefer the pickup, but I wouldn’t want a rear drive pickup as a winter beater up north. I don’t care how many sand bags you put in the bed, traction will be an issue. I drove a rear drive Suburban for a bit when I lived in Wisconsin. It had trouble with a few inches of snow, even with snow tires. A pickup won’t be better than the Suburban. Minnesota is particularly good at snow removal (I also previously lived in Minnesota), but as there is potential for accumulating snow 7 months of the year in that state, there will be times when you will have to drive on snow covered streets.
I haven’t driven a Camry of that age in snow, but I drove a Civic when I lived in Minnesota. It never had problems getting through a few inches of fresh snow (except the time it snowed before I swapped my all season tires for snow tires). I assume the Camry would be similar to the Civic. If this vehicle is to be driven in Minnesota, I would have to pick the Camry.
I had a 2WD Mazda B2000 for a while when I lived in St Paul, and it was… doable. Not as good as the K-cars I had (those just scoffed and said, “Snow? What snow?”), but I got around OK. Hills were a little dicey, but I don’t remember ever actually getting stuck.
I only got truly stuck (i.e. I had to shovel around the wheels or have someone push/pull me out) with the Suburban a few times, but I felt it required more planning to drive. I would go out of my way to avoid having to stop going up hill. Also, I spent a lot of time rocking the vehicle or backing up in search of better traction, and every winter I’d make sure to put a lot of weight over the rear axle (I had the same experience driving a Volvo 240). It is certainly possible to drive a rear drive truck in a Minnesota winter, but I thought it was a bit of a pain.
I’m still amazed how easy it was to drive the Civic in snow. My Civic was lowered two inches, but it handled snow just fine (again, when the snow tires were fitted). I wouldn’t pay extra for all wheel drive in a vehicle if front drive was standard.
I guess if I were looking for a winter beater for $1,000 in Minnesota and I really needed a pickup, I’d get the S-10. If I were looking for generic winter transportation, I’d get the Camry.
Yeah, I’ve got an old ’97 2WD Ranger in Chicago, and winter driving is . . . interesting. My first winter here I held up the long-term parking line at O’Hare for a good ten minutes because I was stuck at a speed bump and didn’t have enough room to get a running start. (Add insult to injury, my flight was cancelled due to the weather after seven hours of delays, then I got to drive home in a snowstorm).
That said, a good 300lbs of sandbags against the tailgate truly works wonders.
The only thing 2wd trucks are good for in MN is whipping shittys on frozen lakes.
I am from Minnesota, and these seem too rusty for me. I would choose the S10 over the Camry because in my experience a ladder frame (not made by Toyota) will survive better than a unibody.
Ole and Lena jokes are always great. There is also a pizza shop named after the jokes. Sven and Oles in Grand Marais MN. (Sven is Ole’s brother)
One day Ole dies. as Lena is preparing everything for the funeral, a man from the local paper reaches out to her about Oles’s obituary. he tells her, ” I can give you 5 free words. Every word over that costs 5 cents.” Lena thinks about it for a bit and tells him,” OK I know what I want it to say. Ole dead truck for sale.”
I voted for the camery screw RWD in the snow.
Oh ya. I’ve been to Sven & Ole’s.
Same!
There’s dozens of us! you should encourage David to road trip one of his jeeps up there! though he might block highway 61 if he breaks down. maybe Torch and the Changli should do it.
So strange to randomly find people that have been to Grand Marais. My wife’s people are from there, beautiful area.
Its definitely out of the way for most people! I’m from Minnesota, and I was only there because we were headed to the BWCA!
I’ll admit; I mostly drove up there to get a bumper sticker.
From Wisconsin, but was there for the same reason.
They have some pretty damn good pizza too, dontcha know.
I’m going Camry, but I don’t feel good about either.
S-10? Been there, done that. Do it again in a heartbeat!
I’m going to go S10, and just barely.
The 4.3/stickshift combo means that’s a truck that’ll kind of haul ass and be a blast doing it, even in it’s hooptie-esque condition. That era of Camry is just “bleh” in all ways but reliability, and even that isn’t a given at this point as all of the rubber vacuum hoses (and there are a zillion of them) have dry-rotted and will give you annoying little vacuum leaks (or an all-day project replacing vacuum hoses only to hunt down the ones you didn’t see later).
Well, this is a true shitbox showdown. I voted for the S10 only because it was cheaper LOL
Sheeeesh. I LOOOOOVE me some S-10’s. Even the bubly 2nd gens. A ’98 extended cab was my first truck, and it was a fantastic little thing. You’ve even managed to find a very rare V6 5-speed. The 5-speeds are almost always mated to the garbage 2.2 liter 4-banger. I don’t know about this one man. That much rust on a stock truck I can deal with, but couple it with all the questionable mods … I think I’ll leave that one to some other sucker, and take the Camry.
Agreed. I tried to justify the S-10. There just isn’t enough S-10 left there. Even when you get change back with a thousand dollar bill….I vote Camry.
I have a soft spot in my heart for S-10’s. However, the bed is most likely swiss cheese at this point and will not work to do much truck stuff. I will have to go Camry.
Hmm… Apparently I ghost-wrote this one…?
That’s what happens when you wear your David Tracy mask while blogging. Had our CMS all confused!
I figured some algorithm saw the keyword “rust” and just assumed…
Make sure they send you a check for it.
The Camry, if you are in the witness protection program and want to remain innocuous and there is a million dollar price tag on your head. You can also pick the S-10, but those damn Altezza’s make it an instant boner killer.
Only problem is that red driver door.
“Hey Mungo, we’re looking for that stool pigeon witness from the boss’ case. So, they’re driving a Camry in beige…yeah, the one with the red door.”
I mean, HOW did they find a scrapper Camry in red to even get a door from? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that’s not that nondescript grey the rest of the car is. Who buys a Camry, but is exuberant enough to order it in red?
The poll is not showing, but that’s perfunctory. Anyone picking the S10 is doing so just to be contrary.
The Camry dent primarily occurred the generation after this one onward. As my name might imply, I am partial to Camrys with mismatched body panels. This one will be fine for 100K more as long as the brake lines haven’t rusted through.
You’re the one being contrary. I chose the S10 for the manual trans and price tag.
Do I have to pick one?
Do I have to pick (just) one?
For that money I’ll take both!
XV10 Camry? That’s a no-brainer.
Having reluctantly sent my 250k-mile XV20 Camry to the Great Parking Lot in the Sky last week, this one got me in the feels. I’ll take your blandest in beige, please.