Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! Today we have a pair of sporty little numbers plucked straight from our Discord. But before we get to those, on Friday, we had four cars to choose from, but you could only keep three. Let’s see which one got left out in the cold:
Aw, man. Economy-minded Chrysler products are the Rodney Dangerfields of the used car market: they get no respect. Oh well. If it matters, I’d ditch the suspect Caddy and fix up that poor Duster.
Today’s choices were suggested on the Shitbox Showdown channel of our Discord server, by two of our most active posters: Toecutter and Rootwyrm. Thanks for the suggestions, guys! I struggled to find a common theme between the two, but then it struck me: Both have twin-cam four-cylinder engines.
Nearly all four-cylinder engines these days have dual overhead camshafts, but that hasn’t always been the case. The technology isn’t new; Peugeot built a race car way back in 1912 with a twin-cam four. And for a long time, two camshafts on top of the engine meant it was something special. But then the technology trickled down, like it always does, and now every Kia Rio and Chevy Spark is running around with twin cams. So for today, we’re looking at a car from the days when twin cams were exotic, and one from after it became commonplace. (There, I knew I’d find a link between them.) Let’s check them out.
1974 Jensen-Healey MkII – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, four-speed manual, RWD
Location: Florrisant, MO
Odometer reading: 65,000 miles
Runs/drives? Says it was running in November, but…
There is a hierarchy of cool when it comes to British sports cars. MGBs, I have to admit, are towards the bottom, simply because they’re so common. But chrome-bumper MGBs are cooler than rubber-bumpers, and GTs are cooler than roadsters, so there’s that. Spitfires and Midgets are down the ladder a ways, too. Triumph is a little higher up, as are MGAs, then Austin-Healey, then Sunbeam, then Jaguar. Up at the top you have Morgan and Lotus and TVR and AC. But if you really want to separate yourself from the hoi polloi, get yourself a Jensen.
Better known for its big, badass, Chrysler big-block-powered Interceptor coupe, Jensen also took a stab at the roadster market in the early ’70s with a little help from Donald Healey and Lotus. Healey oversaw the car’s development, and Lotus supplied their two-liter 907 engine, the first mass-produced DOHC sixteen-valve four. This one, with its two big sexy Dell’Orto side-draft carbs, appears to be a European-spec car, or have been retrofitted.
The seller says this engine was running as recently as November, but it’s not like you can just hop in and fire it up and drive off; the brake master cylinder is completely missing. Luckily, from what I’ve read, it’s the same master cylinder as a Triumph TR6, so a replacement is easy to get. Hopefully the brake lines haven’t been sitting open to the elements since November; that could be a bigger problem.
The rest of the car is scruffy, but not unreasonably so for a nearly fifty-year-old British car. The upholstery is shot, the dash is cracked, but it’s all there. The center console and some other interior bits have been removed, but they’re included.
[Editor’s Note: Those are the same taillights used on the Reliant Scimitar GTE! — JT]
What doesn’t appear to be included are the bumpers. If this is a European-market car, it should have the thin chrome bumpers on it instead of the big heavy rubber battering rams of the US model; I’m not sure why you’d take the chrome ones off. It does look pretty good without the bumpers, though. The paint is still shiny too, and I don’t see any glaring signs of rust. It also includes the factory hardtop, and is that a roll bar I see peeking out of the back window?
2000 Toyota Celica GT – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.8 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: South Euclid, OH
Odometer reading: 219,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
Nobody seeme to be able to agree on the definition of a “sports car.” Most would agree that two doors and a manual transmission are requirements; some would argue that front-wheel-drive is an automatic disqualifier. Others go much further and state that a real sports car doesn’t even have roll-up windows. (These folks can be seen making brief outings in their Morgans and MG TDs before spending months in the garage fixing things.) But as hard as it is to define what a sports car is, it’s sometimes easy to tell what it isn’t. And that’s the Toyota Celica. Sporty coupe? Sure. But real honest-to-goodness sports car? Nope.
This is the Celica’s swan song, the final iteration of a nameplate that started way back in 1971. It started out as sort of a “Japanese Mustang,” but parted ways from the American pony car in 1986 when it switched to front-wheel-drive. The Celica never was a fire-breather, but throughout its life the GT model was always just a little bit faster. In this case, that means a 2ZZ-GE 1.8 liter four with variable valve timing and lift, and a very un-Toyota-like thirst for oil.
The seller says this one runs and drives well, but doesn’t really elaborate. If it has passed 200,000 miles, that means someone has taken care of it and stayed on top of the oil consumption. It also means it hasn’t been abused or raced like so many of these were. Some engines can take a little abuse and high-revving. This isn’t one of them.
Cosmetically, it’s all right, I guess, but having spent sixteen years away from Rust Belt winters, I look at the crispiness around the rear wheel of this car and am appalled. But then I remember that everything rusts in the midwest, and this one isn’t even all that bad yet. The interior looks all right, but it could use a good cleaning.
There you have it: two twin-cam inline fours, installed in two swoopy two-door cars. One needs some work to get back on the road, and the other is a workhorse of a commuter. One is mundane and mass-produced on an assembly line, and the other is rare enough to almost be called exotic. Which one is more your speed?
(Image credits: Craigslist seller)
WRT the Jensen’s missing bumpers, they may have been removed long ago to be repaired/re-chromed. Also bumper-deletes were a thing with European club racers and wanna-be club racers way back decades past. Strict MOT’s kind of put a stop to that for street-going cars.
I would love another Jensen, it is a 100+ mph demon, plenty of parts due to sharing and great club support with JHPS. Great 1st timer and costs are surprisingly cheap
From ~2016 to last year I looked everywhere for a clean-ish, reasonably priced Celica GT-S or Matrix XRS from this period. Just wanted a fun beater. They are so, so few and far between. Everything was either cheap but waaaaay too rough, or people wanted crazy $ for them whether they deserved it (usually did, clean/reasonable miles) or not. There was never anything in the $5-$7k high mileage but Ok maintained sweet spot I wanted. And you forget, they made them in automatic too. Such a bane. Best deals I saw were a few Vibe GT’s that went for a reasonable price on C&B.
This Celica is a little too rusty for me, but dang, $2000. If I thought I could get it to pass PA inspection for 2-3 years (and hadn’t just bought a 3rd car already) I’d consider it.
Learned to wrench on a 71 TR-6 so that J-H doesn’t scare me at all. And, man, look at that hot motor! Surprised by the lack of timing belt cover but I guess you can keep an eye on it that way…
Does have a timing belt cover just missing
Ah, thanks. I did a quick check online before commenting and saw another one without the cover and assumed there was none. Also, didn’t see how one would fit with that radiator hose there. Looking at more pics it’s kinda 50/50 with and without covers.
Jensen for me! If I was still my own CFO, I might just go take a look at it seeing as it’s less than 20 min away.
Look at that Jensen motor! At what point does an engine qualify as a “slant”?
I believe these are at a 40 or 45 degree angle. You could definitely call it a slant four if you wanted.
I would take the Celica. I agree with the assessment that it hasn’t been raced or abused. But for $2,000, I’d buy it purely for the purpose of racing and abusing. With a few bolt on performance parts and copious added lightness, this would be a fun car to race until the engine blows.
I’m sure I’d look good in the Jensen wearing a tweed cap. But most of the time, I’d be wearing grubby clothes because I’m wrenching on the damn thing. Do those have Whitworth bolts? Lucas electrics? I’m scared.
I’ll take the devil I know and just wear an NFL team baseball cap. As the limeys say, “Cel-EEE-ka” all day.
No whitworth but yes lucas
I’ll take mine in high-rev red.
We were never a one-marque family, but we’ve had plenty of Toyotas which began with my older sister’s ’72 Corolla 5-speed. That little roller skate was really a minor-league blast to run around town. And this from a guy with V-8 ‘cudas, Furies, Trans-Ams, and now I’m looking at an old Miata that I just stumbled across (one hour ago, at my mechanic’s garage). I’ve had good luck with the marque, and I even find my ’17 Camry XLE to be a good-time gal (moonroof).
Fun is where you find it I suppose.
*And I would not kick that Jensen outta my carport, neither.
I feel obligated to comment. I can attest to 74 Jensen’s being very fun…..if they are working. Mine continues to have regular problems of all kinds. BUT when it is working it sure is a blast, pure joy from a driving experience. If you need something reliable obviously the Toyota. If you are handy and would like to regularly be tinkering, the Jensen is worth it. Interior is a bit scary on this one though.
I want the celica. But the irs suspension in the celica/vibe/matrix has a nasty problem of rotting out easier than a cat can break into a DT Jeep. Assuming its solid, ill take that. Assuming its not, ill still take it and swap the 2zz into a base Vibe.
True, a lot of Toyotas have rear dog-bone issues. They seem to be already rusty from the factory.
Both of these cars are eff-it money in today’s market. I’ll go with the Jensen Healey because I wouldn’t need it to run every day or even most days. The Celica looks like a bargain for someone who needs a cheap daily that will get them to work tomorrow.
The Celica wins by default because Toyota makes the best cars 🙂
The Celica would certainly be the safer bet here, and my mechanical skills/know how are only a couple clicks above zero. The Jensen-Healey seems like a less than ideal project to learn those skills, but it calls to me nonetheless.
British cars aren’t as scary as they’re made out to be. I think it is a conspiracy to keep prices of various MG’s and Triumphs low.
As someone wanting to buy a Triumph in the next few years, I support this conspiracy.
Although the low prices probably have more to do with the fact B-L built and sold a shit-ton of MGs and Triumphs.
Was at Road America this weekend where the featured marque at the vintage races was Triumph. It was a good time. TR6s are far as the eye could see, with TR3s, 4s, 5/250s sprinkled in for good measure.
Also saw the new Morgan Super3. Pure desire.
So this is basically do you want a running and drivable shit box, or not?
In my world shit that runs wins every time.
“Or do you feel lucky punk?”
It comes down to transportation versus entertainment. If transportation is the goal, the Toyota is your ride. If the goal is entertainment, then go for the Jensen. A restored Jensen can be wildly entertaining. Failing that, your family and friends will still reap hours of entertainment watching you stomp, curse and throw tools around the driveway while your Jensen defies resurrection. It’s a win win. I chose entertainment.
Perfectly summed up. My transportation needs are well met already. I want entertainment so the Jensen it is. Plus I get the bonus of having to do some learning, parts acquisition, and reassembly before I can enjoy it. Bonus entertainment!
Spot on! A number of commenters have mentioned a lack of wrenching skills as a determining factor… to them I would say “go for it.” If you have no interest in learning how to wrench… that’s fine. Go for the Celica. But if you _do_… that Jensen could be a blast. Everyone who wrenches had to start somewhere… and for whatever evils the internet has brought us… it is an amazing resource for someone looking to fix up an old car.
I bought an old 944 turbo 5 years ago. It needed some work… and I had never so much as changed my own oil. Since that time… I’ve reupholstered seats, rebuilt the dash, changed a clutch, dropped my transaxle (and shipped it off in the largest marine cooler I could find), replaced rod bearings, wheel bearings and all sorts of other bearings. Wheel races. The wiring harness. Pulled the head and the turbo. Learned how to “cut” enamel paint. Replace brakes. Timing belt. Water pump. Every last engine seal. The list goes on and on. Oh… and I now know how to change oil. The experience drove me crazy… and kept me sane. Go for it!
Oh… and I’ve replaced the oil pan gasket. Which on a 951 is a _huge_ (huge) pain in the ass.
I would argue that the Jensen is actually a hell of a lot easier to work on than the Toyota. More space around ths engine, engine pointed in the proper direction, no “it either works or it doesn’t” electronic bullshit.
It runs AND it’s cheaper? This is not a debate: we’ll take the Celica.
Celica for me. They seem to be retroactively a bit under-appreciated, given how good they looked at the time and how well they handled in reviews. As a lost-cause Brit myself I appreciate the Jensen-Healey but the Toyota seems like the better deal.
I am glad to see many Brave Comrades here happy to lubricate their way to a Coventry Climax. Jolly good show.
(Also, the last gen Celica reminds me of a George Foreman grill).
I’m a sucker for a crappy British car in distress. J-H gets my vote.
I’m a little confused by this ranking, since a Spitfire is a Triumph. But I’d definitely put a Spitty above an MGB or Midget/Sprite, especially an earlier one.
GT6 is the fancy-pants one. One day. One day…
Here’s mine. Body is rough but she runs like a top.
https://i.ibb.co/QMFTzxC/PXL-2023.jpg
Toecutter has one, too, that he’s converted to electric. Good luck with your dream! It is possible!
For the final generation, wasn’t the GT the base model, with the GTS being the uplevel with the (slightly) bigger engine?
Yep, we posted this at the same time. I knew this off the top of my head b/c my coworker at the time owned a Celica GT-S and I always wondered how nice my MR-2 Spyder would have been if it had that engine instead of the one based on the Celica GT.
Thank you! I knew the GT had previously been the performance version, but wasn’t sure about the final gen.
BTW the MR-2 Spyder was such a cool, underappreciated car. I’ve never understood why it wasn’t as popular as the old MR2.
I’ve had one of each MR2. The mk 1 and 2 were fun and practical 2 seat cars. Sure the early mk2 so would try to kill you, but rev2 on they were fun.
The mk3 has two shit bins behind the seats to store stuff. My other half couldn’t pack for two nights away in that thing. It turns it into a toy, rather than a fun daily. A Miata is more practical. Plus they hobbled the MRS with the so-so 1ZZ not the Yamaha designed 2ZZ.
It could have had a frunk. It could have had a trunk. It should have had both like the previous MR2s.
I remember a magazine review where they scored it as less practical than a Lotus Elise. Come on Toyota, you can do better.
My one had terrible scuttle shake over bumps too. Floppy chassis, not what you want in a sports car.
Correction: The Celica GT had the base 1ZZ-FE engine, while the GT-S had the more powerful 2ZZ-GE.
Ah. I stand corrected.
Yamaha put really neat cast-in-place formed tube inlet runners on the 2ZZ.
Such a great engine. My dream spec Elise is 2ZZ with a supercharger. All those revs plus loads of torque.
At those prices, I’m spending my Internet money on BOTH of them!
I kind of want a Celica, but the high miles and the “but I could try the Jensen instead of making fun of Lucas Electronics this time” bug bit me.
They’re simple enough cars to rewire (and it might be necessary to do at least a good chunk of it at this point).
Wallet draining but that Jensen just screams out for help.