We Have A Top Secret (Sort Of) Mission And We Need Your Help

Secret Mission 3
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After much internal discussion, the staff and leadership of The Autopian have decided we should purchase a Recreation Vehicle, aka, an RV. This will come as a shock to many of you, given how much disinterest we’ve expressed about the topic. And by disinterest, of course, I mean it’s all we ever talk about. Seriously, I’m surprised we’re not talking about RVs in Slack right now.

The logic behind this investment, actually, is quite sound. Our RV/Camper stories tend to do huge traffic and, frankly, David thinks we’ve been spending too much on motels (a full $55 a night on average) and should be sleeping in our vehicles. Think of all the money we’ll earn from clicks and all the money we’ll save sleeping in it! So, we need your help finding the perfect project RV.

Eldostarfire
Something like this Eldorado Starfire that recently sold on BringATrailer would be ideal (photo credit: BaT)

I’ve mentioned this in our Discord and our member newsletter and the response has been quite positive, so I thought I’d make it a post for people who are not active in either of those places, but enjoy a challenge. Here are the parameters:

  • It has to be weird! A Class C Econoline Thorstreamabego won’t click.
  • Jason demands that it has a toilet of some sort. Flushing is ideal, but a shitcase is ok.
  • Adrian requires that it sleeps at least three full-sized adults, so we’re talking something that is at least minimally LeSharo-sized.
  • David would ideally like it to have a manual transmission. If we found something incredible like a Clark Cortez that’s maybe something we can get around (though, we’d probably try to swap in a manual).
  • It has to be affordable. No specific budget, but we are not going to spend $1 million for Willie Nelson’s Tour Bus.
  • It has to be working well enough, though we’re ok with cleaning it up/fixing it up a bit as that’s part of the story.

Alright folks. We’re serious. Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, BaT, Cars and Bids, your buddy’s shed. Let us know!

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53 thoughts on “We Have A Top Secret (Sort Of) Mission And We Need Your Help”

  1. I don’t remember insisting it had three beds, I just seem to remember insisting I had a bed (yes, if this idea ever gets off the ground and there’s an Autopian cross country tour I will fly over to take part),

  3. Does Fred still have the old Dirt Every Day LS Swapped Winnebago? Since they put it on its side, maybe he’ll make you a good deal on it. I know David has met him…

  4. Whatever happens, this needs to culminate in some sort of low budget RV competition. We already have the 24 Hours of LeMons and the Gambler 500 – What can be done in that motif for RVs?

  7. I’m both excited and terrified to see what ends up being purchased. I know it’s out of your budget but I vote Doof Wagon with guitarist included.

  8. The thing to watch out for in a small camper is Cargo Carrying Capacity. Remember the people count as cargo and with this size in the 800 to 1000 lbs range that is most of your capacity there.

    If you are going to have chase vehicles and limit this sleeping it could work.

    Other items to consider:

    1. The older the RV, the more work it will need
    2. How comfortable of a sleep?
    3. At least one AC, 3 adults can be get a bit warm in there.
    4. How comfortable should the 3 adults be
    5. Have some sort of cooking (MV, Stove top, fridge)
    6. Consider adding solar with lithium house batteries
    7. Consider a generator.

    The last two are great for dry camping.

    Some ideas:

    Toyota Dolphin – example https://www.smartrvguide.com/L48751333 . Some have manuals or can be swapped.

    Coach house – https://www.rvtrader.com/listing/2006-Coach+House-PLATINUM+232XL-5026447328

    Larger Class C https://www.rvtrader.com/listing/1995-Ford-FOURWINDS-5026805688

    All of these need work but with the team at your disposal much can be done yourselves.

    Another option is to put the money into a trailer and tow vehicle. The people ride in the truck and sleep/work in the trailer. Just remember unlike a Motorhome, most of the trailer is not usable while on the road.

    Trailer: Just look at the interior -> https://www.rvtrader.com/listing/2005-Keystone-LAREDO+29BH-5026259112

    Spend about 30k for a half or one ton. Again user your resources.

      2. Money no object hahahahahahahaha Nexus or Entregra Super C. I also hear there is a 1,000,000 motorhome with a broken drive shaft on the side of the road.

    3. But will it meet the following standards:

      1.All motorhomes must be equipped with a flushing toilet, functional kitchen area with sink, a bed, and a table with a chair
      2.Every motorhome will run with the following team aboard: a driver, a sleeper, a cook, a rider, and a shitter.
      3.The number of race laps will be divided into four quarters, and each quarter will require a different motorhome activity to take place. The quarters and their activities are as follows:
      1.Recreation. Rider will engage in a table-based recreational activity
      2.Cooking: Cook will prepare a meal for Rider, who will consume the meal
      3.Bathroom: Shitter will defecate/urinate while on the toilet, flush, wash hands
      4.Bed: Sleeper will relax/fall asleep in the bed
      4.In-race activities will be remotely monitored by race officials
      5.All water tanks must be filled prior to race, and gray-and blackwater tanks must be installed.

  13. Speaking of Willie Nelson’s Tour Bus…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoolG1Xtq5U

    But I digress.

    With your requirements, what you actually need is a Class C or A motorhome. (Or a 30’+ 5th wheel. Stick a pin in that one. We’ll come back to it.)
    Or, yanno, a freaking bus.

    I’ve WARNED you people: I can find anything, anywhere. ANYTHING.

    Has to be weird – ayup, got thatHas to have a toilet – yes, but don’t let Stef use it for another week at leastSleeps 3 adults comfortably – big fuckin’ checkManual transmission – yes, I even found THATAffordable – I’m assuming you mean ‘for an RV’ and that you actually looked at what motorhomes actually costWorks well enough – why, yes these all do! Maybe.How about… a 1964 GM 4106 bus?
    No, it has to be weirder?
    This one needs some work, and isn’t a manual, BUT BOY IS IT WEIRD. (But in a very cool way.)
    Of course, this delightfully weird bus already comes in the right colors. But uh, it is a BEV, charger sold separately, and is broken. So maybe not.

    Oh, and if at least two of you have or intend to get a CDL… I may have sources for a Crown-Ikarus 286 and/or NABI 416 articulated.

    2. I love the Dodge Charger headlights and Nissan Murano (?) taillights of that electric bus. Literally just “yeah, these will work.” lol

      I do love how that Clipper has Cummins power. A lot of those things have decent bodies, but still move on ancient and tired gas V8s. This one has…a body, but an attractive powertrain. And hey, it’s not $20k+

      Please send me that Crown-Ikarus and the NABI. I just want to stare at them. Funny thing about those buses, our good friends in [STATE] would register them as motorhomes without any actual legwork, circumventing that whole CDL requirement thing.

      2. I love the Dodge Charger headlights and Nissan Murano (?) taillights of that electric bus. Literally just “yeah, these will work.” lol

        Yeah. It might, might be a good candidate for conversion to diesel if you’re feeling flush with cash. Those things are such horrifying junk though, I’d be worried about frame cracking. Since their latest and greatest, brand new buses aren’t making it 500 miles without having major structural failure.
        Definitely good candidate for a party deck or CNG though. All the batteries are in the ROOF.

        I do love how that Clipper has Cummins power. A lot of those things have decent bodies, but still move on ancient and tired gas V8s. This one has…a body, but an attractive powertrain. And hey, it’s not $20k+

        Yeah, that’s what made the Clipper jump out at me. I would’ve definitely preferred a DD 6V71 or 8V71 with a proper mountain of torque. But at least it’s not a gas engine trying to move that behemoth. Hopefully they didn’t actually put a marine diesel in it.
        The body doesn’t look TOO terrible, but a lot could be hiding under that paint. Hard to tell. But you’re certainly not gonna find a Flxible Clipper in decent shape with a proper engine cheap.

        Please send me that Crown-Ikarus and the NABI. I just want to stare at them. Funny thing about those buses, our good friends in [STATE] would register them as motorhomes without any actual legwork, circumventing that whole CDL requirement thing.

        Sadly, no photos, just a general “these might be available or available soon.” [STATE] can register them as RVs all day long, but, federal supremacy and DOT wins out. The NABI 416 can sneak in easily enough. But the 436 is mandatory Class B (not C!) no matter what you register it as. The dry and empty curb weight is over 40,000lbs with plastic seats!

    3. That Clipper screams Autopian and is already almost as nice inside as the motel room that David, Jason and Otto stayed in that one time…

  15. cut copy paste…

    How about a Seafarer Tripp 30?
    * Not too expensive – Everything’s negotiable
    * Ideally should have a manual – Oh there’s not much automatic about this.
    * Must have a bathroom – Um, it’s called a “head”.
    * Must sleep at least three adults, though not that comfortable – 4 comfortably, a dozen miserably.
    * No CDL required to drive – Ha, check.
    * Must be weird – I don’t see anybody else recommending these.
    https://www.yachtworld.com/yacht/1971-tripp-30-8519724/

  17. No enabling here. Of course David thinks you should sleep in your cars. –Sigh– If you have to go on the RV path, my only requirements are: max velocity at all times = 55 mph, and on all 3-or-more-lane freeways, you cruise in next-to-far-left lane except when entering or exiting. Otherwise free rein! Have all the fun!

    This makes me remember shots of Rep John Boehner in his RV after resigning from the House. Think how terrible his job must have been to find piloting an RV relaxing.

    1. You have no idea how many RVs I just skipped on writing about because the listings were incomprehensible with pictures taken by a disposable camera or something. lol

  19. I don’t have any useful input here but I’m keen to see what happens.

    Frankly I’m picturing a 17′ ex-Uhaul box truck kitted out with bunk beds and one of those toilets that attach to the hitch receiver (a “Bumper Dumper”) like in the Top Gear arctic special.

    I understand David’s reluctance to pay for palatial digs for you guys while traveling – and $55/night is bougie AF – but has he compared the cost of lodging to the projected cost of fuel to feed an RV?

  20. Sure you can get a standard RV and Walter White it up in the desert, but why not go bold and a rig with broadcast capability?! It has a lot of options to appeal to the Autopian staff:
    1) It’s a Volvo.
    2) It’s a reckless expense,
    3) It still needs work even after paying a lot of money for it.
    4) It’s a workplace, so David doesn’t have to worry about losing his edge by living as a human.
    5) it’s modular, so you can customize it for beds, bathroom, shower, sauna, whatevs.(more likely a pile of old laptops stacked under manuals for cars that no longer exist and a bunch of oil stained tools/parts)
    6) it can probably be rigged to eject a Smart out the back. (I’m assuming)

  21. I suggest using one of those ‘Turo for RV’ sites. That lets you get an RV where you need it, and when it breaks, it is some body else’s problem.

    Even if you end up getting a good deal (hahaha) on a reliable RV (hahahaha), it is always going to be on the wrong side of the country from where it is needed.

    Mercedes will have it in northern Wisconsin on some Gambler 500 rally, while Jason needs it to drive to Miami to pick up some illegally imported Cuban tail lights.

    1. Much as I love the 22r & re, I would strongly advise talking to an expert on these before even considering one. My Dolphin-adjacent experience (bil & sister bought one) taught me that I’d be better off sleeping in my 1980s Subaru wagon. The 22r just didn’t have the torque to move the RV—even with low expectations. When moving, it was beyond ponderous to downright scary on any off-camber road. Sidewinds were a Code Brown.

      Putting the secondary battery under the hood meant that there is NO room to do even simple maintenance under there. There is also some issue with the dual-wheel axle setup that I don’t remember, but is scary. I know I’m not being helpful here. I am saying to please talk to someone with definite knowledge of them before proceeding. I thought they were cool, too, but would not consider one now—and it’s just me & a couple furballs.

      1. Good info and I appreciate the insight and real world experience. I’m very much a trailer/camper person and not a motorhome person, so I have no experience with the motorhome side.

    2. A toilet with a removal cassette is a shitcase. Looks like carryon luggage. Haul your crap (literally) to the dump station and pour it out.

      I prefer a black tank. Hook up the host and let her rip.

      Just remember to add a bit of water and chemicals back in or you the poop pyramid and have to use the stick of shame.

  24. We have buses here to shuttle workers around, and the worst of all time was an ElDorado. The site will go broke trying to maintain that heap. The only way we could get rid of it was to donate it to one of those kids’ charities.

    It needs to be something small. I love you guys, but nobody wants to see you comfortable.

  25. Myself and I’m guessing the Torch prefers the VW Beetle fifth-wheel trailer that used a ball-socket joint on the roof. Totally safe.

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