I like classifying things. I’m not exactly sure why, but taxonomy can be fun — at least when it’s being done for useless, foolish, and/or just stupid reasons. Luckily, I have a perfect useless and foolish taxonomical goal for today, and it’s an automotive one: There’s a class of car that, if my research is sound, has so far never been officially grouped into a coherent category. And yet these cars, different in many ways, nevertheless are all quite clearly related. They’re related by a specific set of aesthetic and physical design criteria — criteria that have less to do with size than proportion, overall shape, and a general look that seems to imply something inflated, kind of like what I always thought Aldous Huxley meant when he used the word “pneumatic” in Brave New World. This new category of car is called “Pufferfish.” Please allow me to introduce you to the world of Pufferfish cars.
Essentially, here are the necessary criteria for pufferfish cars, shown on one of the finest examples of the genre, an Audi A2:
Like all categorical criteria, there may be some examples that don’t quite hit all of these exactly, but like that judge said about dirty pictures, you’ll know a Puffer when you see it. The cars tend to be from the 1990s and up, they generally tend to be smaller cars but with an emphasis on space maximization, and, interestingly, they’re remarkably agnostic regarding brand status. There are Pufferfish cars built by premium brands as well as some of the cheapest cars ever made. Really, it’s kind of remarkable that way.
Let’s look at some examples of the category, which your intense, active minds are already likely forming as we speak:
Look at that range: the cheapest car ever sold new, the Tata Nano, to Mercedes-Benz and Audi. That Taurus wagon definitely pushes the hood-to-body ratio rule, but it still has that overall inflated, sea creature feeling about it that I think keeps it in the Pufferfish camp. The Mercedes-Benz B-Class is a bit more subtle, but it has the look. The Xsara is a uniquely French take that pushes the proportions via inflating that greenhouse almost to a one-box design, but not quite. The Buick Encore I think may be my least favorite of these, because somehow it looks like the one least happy to be in this category, somehow. It should feel honored.
If you’re still having trouble getting on board with all this, maybe this will help — an example of a car that caused me some taxonomic difficulties here: the Renault Twingo.
So, by most criteria, the Twingo should fit here: proportions, minimal overhangs, all that. But the Twingo is lacking the one crucial trait: it doesn’t really look inflated. Somehow, the Twingo maintains just a bit of leanness in its look that keeps it out of the Pufferfish camp. It doesn’t look like it’s about to burst; it’s in a balance of tension there in a way that Puffers are not. Puffers give the sense that the pressure inside them is greater than outside them.
Does this make sense? [Ed Note: Sure, in a Torchtopian sort of way I guess. -DT]. I’d love to hear your thoughts and what other examples you come up with. I’m fond of this peculiar category of car. It’s slipped under the radar, for the most part, but I think it’s high time we take a moment and recognize these bouncy members of the greater automotive landscape.
Let’s hear it for the Pufferfish!
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I feel our Chevy Spark definitely qualifies, although I still prefer my daughter’s initial
moniker for it: “The Volt’s annoying little sister”.
Or you can do what Japanese Mecha Anime industry does.. call them SD which stands for Super Deformed.
eg there is a mecha anime call Gundam, and there is a “cuter” / “hilarious” subseries called SD Gundam https://gundam.fandom.com/wiki/SD_Gundam Basically have roughly the same outline, but less series.
Regarding the Twingo, it is a puffer alright, but before full inflation. Look at its eyes – that’s the face of someone that is not scared, just really happy to see you, good sir.
I’ve always called them microvans (or picovans, since the microvan category already technically exists). Anything that has the proportions of a shrunk-down minivan even if it’s built like a car. The older Mercedes A-class, Nissan Versa and C-Max all have the sort of super-stubby nose and fat greenhouse that’s characteristic of a minivan or people-carrier.
Where’s my man the Aston Martin Cygnet?
I feel like the Geo Metro is obvious? Just me?
Toyota Previa.
It’s bursting at the seams.
How about blobfish?
Check 20 comments down.
Phoenix Baylock agrees with you.
I would include the Ford Ecosport. And I call them potatoes. The Buick Encore/Chevy Trax being the most potato-ey.
The Nissan Juke is the most potato-ey of all.
The AMC Pacer is the GrandDaddy of Pufferfish cars.
Large luxury SUV/crossovers might need to be called blowjobs. Not for their looks but for how they were earned.
I hope I never have whatever dealership experience you’ve had that lead to that statement.
*22 comments down
I would nominate the Daihatsu Charade, at least as a forerunner of the style.
Also, the Honda Fit is a bit bulbous. This has gotten pretty overdone during the last few years, though. How about the Suzuki X-90? (Sorry, we are all trying to never have to think about that thing again…)
Saab 92
Buick Roadmaster wagon
7th, 8th, 9th gen Honda Civic
Hatch
These might be not inflated enough but I was thinking
Honda Jazz / Fit (1st Gen)
Fiat Panda (2nd Gen)
Toyota Echo / Yaris (1st Gen)
Another puff piece about cars?
Talk about an inflated ego.
It’s a heckuva lump.
SE Asia, where this is the predominant style of car, beat you to this years ago. They’re known as “roller skate” cars.
The Xsara Picasso would be my #1 indeed, but another Citroen, the C3 (1st and 2nd gen) comes close: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Citroen_C3_front_20080108.jpg
Would the 1956 FIAT 600 Multipla count?
that’s more of a blobfish I think
Check six comments down.
Phoenix Baylock agrees with you.
While the following suggestions fulfill the curvy/inflated aspects of the design brief more than the others (short overhangs/hood), I feel they are in keeping with many other responses here.
This one’s all about Infiniti for me. When the J30 came out, I got a few high-five moments of fellow-feeling when I heard other people call it a “pufferfish car.” It took the biomorphic blob language of the ‘90s to the Nth, with a trunk more bulbous than its nose.
Then the FX series of SUVs came along, reducing that three-bubble shape to two and amping up the part that reminded me of a pufferfish: the way features like headlights and windows seemed hastily stuck-on, like a face drawn on a balloon… or the eyes, mouth and fins of an inflated fish.
Stretching much further, the Japanese-market Infiniti M was called the Nissan Fuga, which apparently means “fugue” but the car has definite fugu vibes.
I suggest the 2nd generation Volvo S40. Looks like an S60 was inflated by a slow and steady, slightly anemic and leaky pneumatic device. This pneumatic device is not as strong as the pneumatics used in your examples, but it is still definitely puffed it up. look for yourself:
Unpuffed: 2005-Volvo-S60-FrontSide_VOS60051_505x375.jpg (505×375) (kelleybluebookimages.com)
Puffed: 5 (1350×900) (volvocars.com)
Also, the S40 is an example of a car that is better looking than the larger, more expensive S60. The proportions just work better. You can have this idea for another article, Torch. Cheaper, smaller cars that look better and more expensive than their brethren higher up the line.
Singular: Fugly
Plural: Fuglies
My modest proposal in this confluence of ideas: The Rollover
I think the Ford EcoSport classifies, although I have to admit it doesn’t look as…inflated…as some of the other contenders.
The Taurus/Sable wagons definitely fit in here. They look blobby and aquatic and inflated…and I can’t really describe it, but that’s how they drive too.
Blobfishes?
Didn’t Mercedes beat you to it?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/42/Bioniccar_11.jpg
https://cdn.motor1.com/images/mgl/wM6po/s1/2005-mercedes-bionic-concept.jpg
Ok, so they modeled theirs after a boxfish, but same thing. A pufferfish just becomes a boxfish when it’s unpuffed, right?
Regardless, my mom still remembers the Mercedes BionicCar concept. Every time she sees a B-Class EV she’s like “that’s one of those pufferfish Mercedes, isn’t it?”