Welcome back! I’m writing this from a Ramada Inn in storm-tossed Des Moines, Iowa. We had a wild day of crosswinds and rainstorms, punctuated by phone calls and texts with our realtor and various contractors. Selling a house is a pain in the ass – but I digress. Since I’m in Iowa, I thought I’d look at some local cars.
Yesterday’s drag race ended up as I expected, with the running Pinto beating the yard-art funny car by a country mile. And it is the logical choice – if you actually want a good start at a drag racer. As several of you pointed out, getting the funny car certified to actually run on a strip would be a pain in the ass.
But here’s the thing: Drag racing isn’t a logical thing to do. Driving a car as fast as it will go for only a quarter of a mile and then making it stop is a silly endeavor. So why not do it with some style? I choose the funny car, and I make no apologies.
Because of the storm, and the possibility of another one right behind it, I can’t promise I’ll have wifi here for long. So I have grabbed two cars that caught my eye. I guess the thread that ties them together is “custom work.” One is still in the project phase, and the other has been finished for a long time. Whether or not it was finished well, I’ll leave for you to decide.
1997 Ford Thunderbird – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8 liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Cedar Falls, Iowa
Odometer reading: 166,000 miles
Operational status: “Runs and drives good”
Nostalgia, it has been said, is a hell of a drug – so much so that it can compel people to ruin perfectly good new things in order to make them look like old things. In the guitar world, there is a process known as “relicing,” which involves taking a new guitar and artificially adding wear, cracks, and dings in the finish to make it look old. You can’t really do that with a newer car; aged plastic just looks crummy, not classic. But what you can do is graft bits of old cars, or replicas of them, onto new ones to mimic the old styles.
That’s what has been done to this 1997 Thunderbird; its normal beak and tail have been hacked off and replaced by panels that look like a ’51 Ford. This is a kit you can buy; the manufacturer also makes a kit to graft ’57 Chevy front and rear ends onto a Camaro. I’ve also seen various body kits for Corvettes to back-date them a few decades, too.
Under the skin, it’s still a garden-variety Thunderbird, complete with a 3.8 liter Essex V6, a four-speed automatic, air conditioning, power windows, the whole enchilada. I think that’s the idea: Get “classic car” looks without giving up all the comforts you’ve become accustomed to. It’s not my cup of tea, but I don’t think I’m the target audience.
The seller says it runs and drives well, with 166,000 miles to its name. We don’t get any good interior shots so I can’t comment on that, and the outside, well, it is what it is. The seller includes a photo of a bunch of car-show trophies sitting on the hood; I hope the folks who won them don’t get upset by that. (I kid, I kid…)
1973 Volkswagen Super Beetle – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: Unknown displacement overhead-valve flat 4, four-speed manual, RWD
Location: Winterset, Iowa
Odometer reading: unknown
Operational status: Engine is on a stand, and the interior is largely absent
This car looks familiar to me because for about thirty seconds, many years ago, I owned one that looked almost exactly like it. Mine had a lot more rust on it, though. The Super Beetle has never been as much of a collectible as the standard Beetles, but a rising tide lifts all boats, as the saying goes, and air-cooled VW prices have skyrocketed in recent years, making the Super Beetle a relative bargain, even at $3,500 with the engine removed.
The engine in question came out of a sandrail, and is of unknown displacement. The seller says it ran well, then overheated and lost oil pressure, then the pressure came back when it cooled down. It should probably be torn apart and rebuilt right. Luckily, the seller is including a whole slew of VW engine parts, which should give you a head start.
The interior is pretty well trashed. It includes seats, but they need reupholstering. It’s not exactly hard to find old VW interior parts, so that’s not a big deal. It’s just work. Think of this as a big model kit; you have to put it together before you can play with it. Just try not to get any glue on the windows.
It’s not very rusty, at least; the seller says there are a few spots on the bottom of the fenders and a hole in the battery tray. The floor pans look all right, but it looks like another set is included as well.
So that’s what Des Moines, Iowa has to offer: a love-it-or-hate-it Thunderbird, and a finish-it-your-way Bug. They’re the same price, so you can base your choice on the vehicles themselves. Which one will it be?
Image credits: Craigslist sellers
Hey everybody! Have you heard!
B-b-b-bird bird bird, bird is the word.
A ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ooo-ma mau mau, ba ba ooo-mau ma mau
Thanks for that, going to be stuck in my head all day.
My work here is done.
I will never legitimize or acknowledge the existence of retro front end swaps. Beetle.
I already have a ’71 Beetle project I haven’t been working on out in the garage, so I guess I’ll go with the Birdbox, derpilicious as it is. If the seller truly is “motivated” and it’s been listed for 24 days, I’m guessing I can get the price knocked down further. It would make for a fun work car for my wife or maybe a school-beater for my daughter while we’re working on her Corvette.
Btw, welcome to Iowa! It was quite a day to show up – nothing like 18 tornadoes to greet you. I don’t know what time you arrived, but at some point yesterday, this was going on roughly 50 miles southwest of Des Moines:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_ZDVYzIhgc&t=2s
The Beetle is too much of a project for me, but, once it’s finished, I’d be able to drive it without a bag over my head, so I guess that one
Maybe if the T-Bird was a V8, I could get behind it. Ugly as hell, but you could make it sound nice and maybe be mildly quick. Like a modern rat rod or something I guess.
But if I am going to install a motor, I might as well go with the Beetle and not drive around in that T-Bird.
If I choose the Bug, it will sit in my backyard for 20 years or until I die, whichever comes last. If I pick the T-Bird, I’ll drive it and die of embarrassment…Choices!
Mark, you’re killing me.
You lead with a picture of a nice looking but mildly scruffy red Beetle with a $3500 price tag. You follow up with photos that show the engine isn’t installed and the interior is completely disassembled. You then casually mention the engine doesn’t even run and the included interior parts are trashed (which I confirmed by looking at the craigslist ad).
If you are going to bury the lead that this thing is a disassembled shell of a Beetle, at least include some kind of distressing content warning so air-cooled VW enthusiasts like myself will be prepared for what is to come. I didn’t expect a daily-driver grade Beetle for $3500, but I expected better than this. The contrast between my expectations and what this car ended up being couldn’t have been greater. What a letdown. I’m not going to say the disappointment ruined my morning, but I’m also not not going to say the disappointment ruined my morning.
I still voted for the Beetle, though.
I actually kinda like the T-Bird treatment, very alt, almost punk in that “yeah I’m ugly and that’s the point” kind of way. Psychobilly?, Certainly better than the half-melted-blob-of-lard-on-a-griddle looks of the original ’97. And it runs.
I will never have another VW, but I still picked the Beetle over that TBird.
While I actually want a Beetle as a project, I don’t want that one for that price – $1500 with no interior, and a bad engine, maybe, but not at $3500 (which is what a running one goes for in my area). Then again, that T-bird is just horrendous, so I guess I am abstaining from today’s vote.
No
Hey, I lived in Iowa for a year, and Cedar Rapids was the CLEANEST city I’ve ever visited! And my 5 year old son and his 15 year old babysitter rode the city bus downtown to the library in complete safety!
Of course, that winter was the coldest they’d had in 95 years, and GTFO as soon as we could, so maybe you do have something there…
That Ford looks like it’s from the Parking Garage Of Dr. Moreau. I imagine walking by it and hearing a tiny voice from under the hood faintly groaning “kill me … kill me … ”
I’ll take the Bug, name it “Torch,” and get to wrenchin.’
Retro Bird, Own the bad look, take it over the top with a flame paint job and just be THAT GUY at car night.
That’s why Daddy took the T-Bird away
Too bad he didn’t take it away before this happened.
I hate the T-Bird, but it’s running and has an interior. I’d use it for Gambler or something. And/or try to change out some of the work and repaint it.
I about fell over when I clicked for the Bird and saw some people have actually voted for the Bug…
I about puked when I saw the bird, so I gave the bird the bird and ran to the beetle
That’s hideous! (And you all know which one I’m talking about)
Oh man you’re making life hard this week. As others mentioned, running beats non running almost always, but at the end of the day, I would rather have the beetle taking up space in the garage than have to look at or drive that T-Bird. I’ll take the lawn ornament over the functional car today just because it’s too ugly and I am not a fan of that body style even when in stock condition.
As the former owner of a ’49 shoebox…….
crush every easyrod in existence, melt down the scrap, crush it again, then shoot it into the sun.
I usually give the nod to whichever car is in the more functional state, but that T-bird is hot garbage. I’d buy it for $1,500 if I needed a demolition derby car. If it survives that you have a Gambler/LeMons chariot ready to go.The Super Beetle is a major but worthwhile project. Having it stripped out is good IMO because you can readily see where you’ll need to cut and weld. $3,500 feels a bit high to me, but I’d still take it over the T-Bird.
My vote is secret this time….
Options are that bad today huh? I don’t disagree.
Neither! Gun to my head the T-bird can undo all that nonsense!
This was tough, but as usual, there was one factor that made the difference for me: theT-bird has AC. And giving the Bug AC is going to be tricky, at best.
I’m not a fan of the shoebox look grafted onto these cars. The roofline really doesn’t work, but if these are my options, at least I can drive away in relative comfort in one of these.
After I lose that gawdawful spoiler on the trunk.
Not that I need another Super Beetle–and this one is the exact same color as my 72–but I had to vote for it regardless. Parts are cheap and plentiful, so getting it back on the road shouldn’t be an issue. This one doesn’t look like it has much rust, so it should just be a matter of rebuilding the engine and putting it all back together again.
Shoebird all the way.