What Is Being Said Here, Exactly?: Cold Start

Cs Skulltruck
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So I’m a bit late on getting Cold Start up this morning because I was exhausted last night and didn’t do it then, like I usually like to, and this morning I had to take my kid to farm camp, because all he really wants to do in the summer is hang out with animals. Fine by me, really. In fact, he made a good joke yesterday about catching a bunch of ducks smoking quack, so I figure based on that, this is a decent use of his free summer time. Anyway, as I was heading back home, I found myself behind this truck, and it got me thinking about our vehicles, and how we choose to express ourselves using them as a, um, vehicle.

Like, in the case of this lifted Ford truck here, there’s a very specific persona being conveyed here. Most obvious is that skull emerging from the inky blackness of the black paint on the tailgate there, eyes aglow with, I’m guessing, malice? I mean, it’s possible the eyes are glowing red from goodwill or jolliness, but I feel that’s unlikely. Also, the eyes have vertical slit-type feline pupils?

Then there’s what appears to be a refrence to the Confederate battle flag on that metal rear-window protector thing, and that, of course, is absolutely laden with associations, very few of them good. Probably none good. The truck is lifted and has aftermarket beefy bumpers with lights and tow hooks and multiple light bars, too, well-equipped for all sorts of things, but it’s also incredibly clean and unmarred, and doesn’t seem to bear a lot of the visual documentation of hard off-road use.

So, what’s the message here? Is that Death on the tailgate? There’s some hints of a hood at the corners, so maybe. But it’s not chasing you if you see it, you’re chasing Death?

There’s no question the goal, at some level, was to intimidate with this truck’s choices. It’s just kind of strange to have such a clear, potent expression of one very specific feeling, and then that’s your vehicle for everything. Going to pick up your mom at the airport? She’s riding in the lifted DixieDeathtruck. Taking your kid to a birthday party? DixieDeathtruck. Volunteering at the animal shelter? Helping a friend move? Going to the retirement party of the professor that convinced you that art history could be your calling? DixieDeathtruck, DixieDeathtruck, DixieDeathtruck.

Also, this truck sort of demands a certain look; if a person dressed like an Orthodox Jew or a woman in a slinky Versace dress or a mom in very mom-clothes dropped out of this, it’d make you do a double-take, right?

I’m all for people putting as much personality and feeling into their cars, absolutely. I love it. But it’s also interesting to think about. And, really, I’m no different: my cars have their own distinctive look, too, and there’s plenty of ways to be incongruous when seen unfolding yourself out of one of my little shitboxen, too. None of this is a judgement!

It’s all just proof that cars are more like fashion than most of us would like to admit.

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Mercedes Streeter

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173 thoughts on “What Is Being Said Here, Exactly?: Cold Start”

  2. Could just be a Diablo fan, but that’s deeply unlikely. Better odds the owner has multiple Punisher t-shirts and a terrible body spray/bong water eu de cologne.

    1. If he had a sticker on the back glass saying “RIP Deckard” I’d allow the tailgate graphics as a Diablo reference. Unfortunately, there is no good context for putting the white power treason flag on your vehicle.

  3. This is just classic far right, white grievance. Folks like this are incredibly insecure deep down and work overtime to project an image of extreme masculinity because society is changing rapidly for the better and they’re pissed that being a mediocre, white, likely evangelical Christian man is no longer a free ticket to a socially and financially comfortable life. He’s clinging desperately to a past when *checks notes* he and his kind could literally own black people.

    All it is is paranoid fear, deeply rooted insecurity, and good old fashioned bigotry. Look at him and laugh. He THINKS he looks like A BIG STRONG BULLY BOY but in reality everyone knows he’s a shallow husk of a man whose rapidly becoming useless to our society.

    1. I must say, I’m impressed how politicized you made this, and how impressively racist this is.

      “being a mediocre, white, likely evangelical Christian man is no longer a ticket to a socially and financially comfortable life”

      Never was, bud. Heard of poor and friendless white people?

      “he’s a shallow husk of a man who’s rapidly becoming useless to our society”

      Did you actually just say that white Christian men are useless to society? What would you think if I said that Black women were useless to society?

      1. Lmao did you remember to stretch before that massive reach? I didn’t say ALL Christians. I said that it’s likely that this dude fits the Evangelical demographic, because statistically speaking, he likely does. And there’s nothing remotely racist here. I’m a white dude who was raised Christian and socially conservative for fuck’s sake.

        I was in only Christian schools until college. I can speak about this stuff because I lived it and and academically speaking the term racism has an institutional component. Institutions in this country don’t actively work against white men, regardless of what Fox News tells you. They do, in fact, work against minorities.

        1. Institutions in this country don’t actively work against white men, because you’re not an institution on your own.

          “He’s a shallow husk of a man who’s rapidly becoming useless to our society.”

          Is it really a stretch to point out that being white has never been a free ticket to affluence?

          1. A free ticket to affluence? Not necessarily. A free ticket to an easier path to affluence and additional protection from consequences? You bet.

            1. “free ticket to a financially and socially comfortable life”

              You didn’t say easier path to affluence. You said a free pass to financial comfort.

          2. The largest marginalized group in the U.S. is often the most forgotten: working class white people.

            White privilege mostly only exists for those whites who grew up into privilege. That is not most white people. A lot of the divide has been intentionally agitated by politicians of both parties. A lot of poor whites don’t understand that they have more in common with the black man than they do the rich man.

            1. I don’t necessarily agree with the first half but you knocked the second half out of the park. 99% of us have more in common with each other than we do with the 1% lizards pulling the strings but neither political party wants us to realize that because they’re both cashing the same checks.

              1. A lot of confusion comes from inconsistent definitions regarding class. A lot of people think middle income is the same thing as middle class, and that is not the case. People in the U.S. who are truly middle class or better off are greatly less than half the population. Even most white people don’t meet this threshold.

                https://resourcegeneration.org/breakdown-of-class-characteristics-income-brackets/

                I live in a mostly black ghetto. Compared to most people in my neighborhood, I’ve been well off. By hood standards, I grew up “rich”. In truth, I was raised working class, and have barely gotten into the lower middle class with my current job as an engineer and my student loan gone. I now make low six figures, but live in the hood still, as I did not want to go into debt for 30 years to buy a house in the suburbs like some of my coworkers(they live paycheck to paycheck constantly in debt to “afford” that lifestyle), and instead live within my means. 3 years ago, I was washing dishes at a restaurant for minimum wage, barely scraping by. I’m white, but many of my peers in college had things a LOT easier than me, including those of minority races who grew up in gated communities in McMansions. They got additional funding for college based solely on their race, even though they didn’t need scholarships and their upper middle class parents could cover everything. Imagine the uproar that would result if someone created a scholarship fund exclusively for poor white people.

                If you were to divide the population by both race and class using the class definitions outlined in the link above, working class white people would be a plurality. The vast majority of Americans of all races, including white people, live paycheck to paycheck and are barely scraping by.

      3. Its because he is spot-on. I grew up in the rural south and guess what? MOST of the people who lived in my neighborhood were openly and proudly racist, had some form of a confederate flag either on their property or on their vehicles, had an unhealthy obsession with guns, barely graduated high school and got married immediately. These people are everywhere. And none of them ever take any responsibility for the stupid decisions they made early on. They painted themselves into a corner and blame anyone and everyone for their problems. And that includes immigrants, people of color, the LGBT community and so on.

        I would bet hard cold cash that the guy who drives this truck is 100% exactly the kind of person I described above.

    2. Living in the South and having car and racing friends allows me to interact and even be friends with many people who would find this truck “badass”. They (and possibly this guy) are not bad people and might stop and happily pull your Prius out of a ditch with those pristine hitches. Look, I am not defending this truck’s terrible expression of taste but when you get down to it, people are tribal. This guy is expressing his tribal identity which might be all he knows. Calling him a racist only reinforces his view that the world is hostile to him and his way of life.

      1. He has a confederate flag on the truck and the confederate flag is a symbol of racism and defending racist institutions. Everyone knows that. If you’re rocking the stars and bars you’re okay with what they symbolize, whether actively or passively.

      2. I am not going to say people are “good people” or “bad people,” since almost everyone is a big messy mix of both (except like … Hitler). But voluntarily affixing a large dixie flag (the flag that was popularized in the 1950s as a symbol of opposition to giving rights to black americans!) to the vehicle you presumably drive everyday is racist. It is racist. This person is doing a racist thing. It’s a bad thing.

  4. Looks like it’s wearing a hoodie. Maybe it’s Skeletor? Should we tell him about the homosexual overtones of the entire Masters of the Universe toy line?

  5. What it says is that the person driving the aforementioned truck is probably about as boring as fuck as they come. Probably went to high school. Probably got married immediately. Probably had kids 9 months later. Works at some menial job with few prospects. Never left the boring area they grew up in.

    And so as a result the “truck” becomes the one and only thing they have to express their general discontent for their sad and boring little lives. Its like ” Lookit me! Lookit me!” I’m all big and scary! Except its all done in the most trashiest, tackiest way possible and the only people who would be remotely impressed are other sad males who also did jack shit with their lives.

    2. Also, the house is decorated in a Modern Farmhouse aesthetic with lots of raw wood furniture and “word art” wall hangings that tell you what you’re supposed to do in each room, and also remind you to love, live, and laugh, though not necessarily in that order

      2. Modern Farmhouse is, sigh, a bit too sophisticated for Hypothetical Redneck Fam here. There’s a genre of “farmhouse that goes too far” that I call “Aggie Palace” ’round here and my gosh, I can picture the corny barn-tin accents and clashing mass-market Hobby Lobby word “art” just by looking at this truck, haha. There are too many words on signs, and none of them match. There’s a mishmash of styles that are poorly executed—like, obviously DIY’d off some Pinterest page—or that are vaguely country in theme but just plain don’t go with each other. Y’know, like, instead of one or two on-theme accent signs made out of corrugated tin that don’t overwhelm the space, it’s on every wall of the whole damn bathroom. Like, where the tile and drywall should be, and maybe the ceiling, too.

        Aggie Palace.

  6. The rectangular handle looks like a little nose, and the Ford logo as a mouth so to me it looks like a sweet little Gummi Bear (the ones from the animated show) with a big beard 🙂

    So I’ll give it 6 out of 5 Ichiban Moto stickers!

  7. I don’t get any of this but it follows with the general “Badass” (Isn’t ass pretty much always bad?) persona we see in most all the online and TV car/truck shows.

    I’m reminded of a young guy I worked with who told me of bumping into a guy he knew from high school. The guy wore a perpetual frown/scowl. My guy called him out on it pointing out that he came from a relatively wealthy family in an exclusive part of town so why was he acting like he fought his way out of the ghetto?

    1. I can assure you that not all ass is bad, but since you don’t have access to my private browsing history, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

    1. This person blames Joe Biden for the fact he doesn’t have his Truck Nutz yet. Once he gets them, he’ll be owning the libs, for sure.

  10. This is the person who absolutely must show the world that they are an aggressive and masculine little boy grown-up man who shoots things and isn’t scared of anything; he’s just twitchy and nervous because he’s ready (to get scared and maybe fire a couple rounds toward a perceived threat).

  11. I’m less concerned by what the truck is saying and more bothered by you saying you missed doing your Cold Start again.. this is quickly becoming a habit!

  12. I was thinking about this 2 days ago on a long drive from MI to SC. You tend to see quite a few trucks like this after many hours on the road. It’s interesting to pretty much be able to fairly accurately predict the complexion, age, facial hair preferences, education and political leanings from just a vehicle.

    1. In FL, I tend to see many trucks like this before I’m even out of my subdivision. These and Wranglers are pretty much FL’s version of a Camry.

  13. Car-thropologically speaking, I find it interesting how the straight back dual exhaust became a truck thing starting in the ’00s.

    Originally a seemingly retro thing (though not really as most old muscle cars/sports cars had black, turned down pipes) that said “performance car,” it then migrated to trucks, first aftermarket and now factory.

    1. I can’t say that’s my experience at all. Around here in Idaho, “it ain’t a real TRUCK if it ain’t a DEEZEL” and a turbocharged vehicle pretty much never has a dual exhaust, so Diesel Bros think dual exhausts are weird.

      If I think of a pickup with a dual exhaust, I’m thinking of like a 2006 Ram 1500 2wd. And Diesel Bros would call that a girl truck.

  14. Look at that perfect, unblemished hitch ball and equally perfect bumper eyelets.

    If this guy was asked to tow anything or hook anything to those eyelets, he would use his nearly bald tires as an excuse to back out. Then call everyone around him a beta and head to his weekly meeting at Karen’s Kountry Kitchen.

  15. The license plate frame reads Florida across the top, but whether that indicates the state or the university isn’t obvious. Either way, I’m sensing a Ronny the Rat supporter.

  17. What is being said?

    “Hey bro. Check out my truck bro! Look how badass I am driving my truck, bro.”

    I suspect all of it was bought on credit. May or may not be paid off by now.

      1. I just read the comments back to front and these two gems are mentally refreshing.
        Please tell me there are no more politicized penis jokes left as I scroll further down.

  20. I was just admiring all of the pristine examples of full size trucks with their many accessories in the downtown parking garage near work this morning. Beautiful vehicles, capable of many things that they will never do! Mostly what they do is make it so two cars cannot pass on the ramps in the parking garage.

  21. Bold of you to assume the driver of this truck knows an art history professor, let alone picks up their mother from the airport. Unless she’s meeting them at Myrtle Beach, flying up from Florida, in which case this truck would be right at home.

  23. It takes a certain worldview to open your human interaction with malevolence. Than again, our media and culture seems to celebrate bad-assedness so maybe that is in fashion. I am surprised your girly-man Pao didn’t get coal-rolled while getting that photo.

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