“Somewhere in this garage is the megalodon of spiders,” I kept thinking as I worked on the $900 Chrysler Valiant ute I’d purchased sight unseen in Australia. I’d gotten a quick glimpse of the gargantuan arachnid a few weeks into my project, but after turning away for just a few seconds, the thing scurried off into the darkness. For a week I wrenched knowing that a behemoth lurked in the garage near Dubbo, New South Wales, and then one day, as I walked in to try to fix the hopeless wreck I’d bought 10,000 miles from my home, the hideous beast showed up, sitting on a wall in plain sight, stretching its legs as if to boast of its enormity.
Before I get to megalodon, I should mention the many, many other large spiders I encountered in that garage in Australia, and the effects they had on my overall wrenching experience (I’d also mention the effects on my psyche, but I’ll leave that between me and a therapist). The very first day I started on my project, which — along with the parts car — had sat in a field for years and thus become home to all sorts of critters, I was loosening a screw holding a disintegrated taillight-housing to the rear quarter panel. As I was spinning the ratchet, a neighbor who’d come to visit told me to step back. “Oh boy,” I thought. “This is Australia. If someone says ‘David, step back!’ things are about to go down.” Luckily for me, the neighbor hadn’t been shielding me from anything that could kill me, though it was definitely something that could have caused me to wet my trousers. Behold the mighty Huntsman Spider that was a mere inch away from my hand:
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It’s big:
I recall that a few minutes later I had to reach my hand into the rear quarter panel just behind the taillights (possibly to undo an electrical connector or grab the back side of a bolt), but since it was dark in there, I walked away to get a flashlight so I could scope the place out first. I can’t be reaching blindly into dark places; this is Australia, after all. The neighbor I was with, Hud Johnston (a hot-rodder whom you’ll all hear about in upcoming articles) didn’t have time for my childishness, and just reached his arm deep into the dark abyss and grabbed what needed grabbing. I was a bit embarrassed, I’ll admit. Almost as embarrassed as when my host Laurence and his mom asked me to pick up the tarp that had been sitting out in the paddock where my utes had sat for many months. I looked under it to find a bunch of Huntsman Spiders.
I tried shaking them off, but they wouldn’t let go, so I carefully carried the tarp, shaking it every now and then to prevent the leggy beasts from latching onto my hand. From the outside, I looked like a complete dork, and Laurence and his mom rightfully let me know it.
A week or so after my initial spider encounter in the garage, when I opened up the door to start another day of work on the ute, I saw this hanging from my firewall:
This was a problem. I had to do some work underhood, and just knowing that beast was there just wasn’t going to work for me. Unfortunately, I cannot get myself to kill spiders, no matter how hideous they are. It’s just hard for me to justify if they’re not particularly harmful and generally leaving me alone. I’m killing them because I find them scary? My weakness isn’t a good enough reason.
So I had no choice but to try to capture the eight-legged monster. This took forever — at least 30 minutes — and that’s 30 minutes I didn’t have, as the project was way behind. Chasing this ridiculously fast critter around the garage wasn’t easy; when it started walking up the lift post, I knew I had to catch it there or it’d climb up and out of my reach. I struggled for minutes trying to build the nerve to just catch the spider in a box, but that meant I had to get up-close, and my weak self just wasn’t feeling great about that.
My solution was a broomstick with a cheese box taped to it.
It actually worked quite well, as it allowed me to keep some distance from the spider, and the plastic box was smooth enough that it kept the spider from crawling out until I could get the lid on. (I would have liked to have used a box that wasn’t labeled “strong & bitey,” but it’s what I had available):
I released the Huntsman into the grass, and Hud used some cardboard to usher it away from the garage:
Here’s a video of the encounter:
A few weeks in I began seeing Huntsman Spiders almost daily. They were in the car, under the car, on the garage walls, behind toolboxes — everywhere.
There came a time when I had to do some wiring under the dash, and I knew that somewhere in the vehicle was a Huntsman Spider, as I’d spotted it before. What was I going to do, just not complete the project? That wasn’t an option, so I pushed on and tried to ignore the fact that a three-inch spider could be just inches from my face. I had work to do.
Over time, I became comfortable with the arachnids, as long as they didn’t surprise me. I even began touching them:
Three weeks in I actually allowed one to crawl on my hand, briefly. And while I know that may not impress anyone, the reality is that spiders were among my worst fears when I started this project. Anytime I saw one, even on video, I’d become hyper-sensitive and feel phantom spiders on my body. Rational? Not at all. Why is a 170 pound man afraid of a non-deadly 0.01 pound spider? This was something I was keen to overcome, and I can say that, after some time working on those two spider-infested utes in that garage in Australia, I made some good headway. At least, that’s what I thought — until I spotted megalodon.
This was a spider that I’m fairly sure killed another humongous Huntsman Spider that was hanging upside down, dead in the ceiling of the garage. I remember thinking how huge that dead spider was, turning away, then looking at it again, only to glimpse just a few inches away a spider that was, somehow, almost twice as big. It was megalodon, and though it disappeared for a week, it eventually showed back up:
To give you an understanding of this thing’s size, just have a look at this photo:
Notice how the rightmost leg is touching the peak of the right rib on the garage siding. The leftmost leg appears to be a centimeter or so away from the beginning of the slope of the left rib. For context, I placed my hand in roughly this same position:
That’s a five-inch spider — at least. Even I, a now-much-tougher man who can touch large Huntsman Spiders, couldn’t help but get goosebumps at the sight of megalodon.
Thank goodness most of the Huntsman Spiders I’d seen were smaller, or I’d have been far too scared to do any wrenching on those two utes. I’d already wasted far too much time trying to get the nerve to capture the three-inch spiders. A five or six inch one like megalodon would have required hours of mental preparation, a longer broomstick, and a bigger Strong & Bitey box.
Oddly, when I later saw a hyper-venomous Redback Spider atop my brake drum, I didn’t feel scared at all. Talk about awful human instinct: Scared of a largely-harmless Huntsman, but totally fine with a deadly Redback.
I seem to recall mentioning that Down Under, spiders might be an issue, just before you left…
Stuff like this makes me question my lifelong desire to visit this place. If I was the Australian tourism bureau, I’d be having a talk with Mr. Tracy.
I can’t even watch the videos and can only briefly look at the pictures. I’m a big strong man, why am I so afraid of spiders?
Nope, nope, NOPE! I can deal with a lot, but for some irrational reason I hate spiders.
Be glad you’re in Dubbo NSW and not far northern Queensland where they have these Golden orb Weaver Spiders. :+)
https://im.indiatimes.in/content/2020/Feb/SPIDER_5e550ae5985ce.jpg?w=1200&h=900&cc=1
My lord you could hunt those things for sport.
Queenslander here – this is why I don’t ever keep my motorbike helmet in the garage any more. Slamming the visor shut while in motion to find one of those horrors clinging to the inside of it is… quite an experience.
Huh. So, according to Wikipedia, the four large eyes of wolf spiders reflect light like a possum or deer. I don’t know what to do with that, but, forewarned =forearmed, people.
When I was doing fieldwork in Gabon, I learned about that. I was hunting frogs, which don’t have eyeshine—I wished I was hunting spiders.
Maybe it’s just that I’m on my 3rd strong cup of caffeine, but I think it’s great that someone here has experienced that bit o’ trivia.
And, that it was in Gabon is the cream cheese icing
That’s great exposure therapy David! We have to remove huntsmans from my 7 year old daughter’s bedroom almost on a weekly basis. I’m not scared of them (and I can’t bring myself to kill them either) but I still get uneasy about touching them. I often get one of my sons to move them out for me – even since they were toddlers they thought huntsmans were cute!
Redbacks, though? Kill them with fire!
You’re fortunate. Those are the small huntsmans. A guy I worked with used to tell tales of the dinner plate-sized hunstmans he’d see while working in the Queensland area. Their leg span can get up to 12″. Their eyes are big enough that you’ll see them tracking your movements.
I about lost my shit at the cheese box taped to a broom handle. Strong and bitey indeed.
You’re a madman with a heart of gold, keep on keepin on.
If/whenever you finish it, I think you need to source one of those giant spider decals, like those used on the old Chevy Monza Spyder models. Who needs a screaming chicken when you can have the giant spider?
I understand completely. Brown hairy spiders are evil. Spent some time in the tropics & sub-tropics as a kid: the wolf spiders in our bath when I was 7-8 could span my face. >shiver<. Several months ago I gently moved the largest black widow I think I’ve ever seen away from the padlock I needed to get to. No issue. But, several weeks later when I realized there was an almost 4” span wolf spider inches from my hand I screamed and don’t think I used the ladder to get down & away. from unit I was working on. Full-on freak out.
You’re a better man than I if you’ve gotten to the point you can hold them. Kudos!
NOPE!!!
How could someone be scared of those adorable, soft, furry, 8-legged cuddle-balls? I just want to hug it!
Kind of like those big black scorpions that are always used in stunts / reality show challenges. They’re pretty mellow, their venom is weak (about bee sting strength), and they are far more likely to pinch you with their beefy pincers than sting you.
The scorpions with skinny pincers are the ones you have to worry about, because they have the stronger venom.
This article made my week. I would love to share my space with those huge, gentle, teleportation-fast Giants. It’s good to see you getting “comfortable” with them.
Tarantula aficionado and owner here. Wait til you see a twelve incher.
The Goliath Amazon Bird-Eaters are lots of fun. Fragile, but fun.
Yeah, they are. So itchy, though. So, so itchy. I have two different species.
Yes but how big is the Tarantula?
Approximately 10″ for the largest one.
The ‘problem’ with huntsman spiders is not their size (and, due to parasitic wasps, big ones are rarer than you might imagine) but their speed. Which is unexpected. Especially when they run up your arm…
Personally, it’s our similar looking and sized trapdoor spiders that give me the creeps… especially since they have some serious fangs. I tried moving one on with some household tongs and the impact of a fang punch on them was…most disconcerting.
They are crazy fast, literally like they teleport. I haven’t had direct experience with Australian species myself, though.
I have a trapdoor as well, but she’s not nearly as spicy as what they have there.
David’s backyard would be jurassic park if he lived in Australia.
Just take the spider to the rego office and register it as a 1973ish VW bug.
I would give it my lunch money and pee my pants.
Sorry DT, but I believe that the worlds largest spider is the *FIAT SPIDER* and I did not see any of those in your article/Vids. So, once again, another click bait headline! ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
I’d rather have a Porsche 550 Spyder myself.
A 987 Spyder is one of my dream cars.
Is the Fiat bigger than the Alfa Romeo? Either way, I think what’s happening here is that the arachnids understand that a Stellantis product is pro-spider, a safe place for them.
This is why I won’t set foot in Australia without a 12 gauge, 1000 rounds of various 12 gauge shells, and a flamethrower with plenty of spare fuel (not one of those fake garden torches, an actual flamethrower).
“I’m From Buenos Aires and I say kill em’ all!”
I remember the guerrilla marketing for that film in the UK consisted of stickers that said “Kill anything with more than two legs”.
“I’m killing them because I find them scary? My weakness isn’t a good enough reason.”
By this alone, we know you to be a good person.
“Strong & bitey” is a perfect description of my wife’s cat. Who, ironically, isn’t much bigger than those spiders.
Most important thing I learned from this article – you finally got a therapist. Good job boss.
It was a joke, but after this, I should.
Then I should hire her/him to write blogs.
“My Descent Into Madness, or How I Became David Tracy’s Therapist.”
Funny, that’s the second time I have used the phrase “descent into madness” when commenting on this project…interesting.
Huntsman vs red back… size…nah can’t bring myself to say it…
But am I the first comment…!?