What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

Aa Torch Painkillers
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As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and  getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.

We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.

But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.

He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?

I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?

Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.

Los Jason

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293 thoughts on “What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?”

  2. When you are bonkers on pain killers, go for an even more bonkers movie.

    Holy Motors – French film with multiple vignettes loosely centered on people riding around Paris in a stretched Lincoln Town Car. Almost no dialogue.

    Liquid Sky – a New Wave fashion show is crashed by aliens.

    The Forbidden Zone – by a young Danny Elfman. That’s all that needs to be said.

  3. Here’s a few more that are good for an altered state of mind:

    • Princess Bride (with Otto around – then they can do the quotes together)
    • The Matrix (only the OG)
    • Clerks
    • Office Space
    • Blackadder
    • Mr. Bean
    • The Italian Job (OG)
    • Young Frankenstein (with Otto around)
    • Blazing Saddles (definitely NOT with Otto around)

  4. Years ago, I watched 12 Monkeys while on pharmaceuticals. It was way tripper that way than the actual movie turned out to be.

    This may not work on subsequent viewings, so my suggestion is just to pick weird things you haven’t seen and let the drugs do their magic.

  6. I guess as Torch is going to be up on blocks for a while we should add our Christmas/holiday movies.

    I like to do three things at Christmas:
    1 The Thing From Another World (1951). Drugs will help fix the pacing. The alien terror is…
    … a vegetable. Like sprouts. They might be a UK only thing for Christmas, at least I hope so for your sakes.
    2 The Thing (2011) the prequel. Knowing they all die at the end somehow doesn’t ruin it. It’s good but not as good as:
    3 The Thing (1982) it has everything for a great Christmas/holidays film. Snow, drinking, a new dog that’s only fun for a day, the feeling of being locked in with people you dread have turned in to your worst nightmare and a bearded man who makes everything better.

    I had three months off sick once with a fractured spine, and I watched the Princess Bride a lot. Not on pain killers either.

    The last time I was on pain killers was after having my face fixed and I was too hideous to leave the house, so I watched Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, both with every commentary option I could find.

  7. Back in the 90’s my roommate was bed ridden with a bad back injury. His brother sent him a 2 hour VHS tape of porn with all the naughty stuff edited out. There was something like 22 movies on the 2 hour tape. It was something we watched for years because of how bad it was. If you want an example of bad acting and plot holes, watch something like that. It was both infuriating and glorious.

    3. Back when I was racing boats I had a side gig working on porn producers offshore boats.
      Every now and again I’d end up at one of their houses up in San Fernando valley.
      Someone would pop in the latest feature film (it was the ’90’s, gonzos were still in their infancy), sit down and watch it. They’d fast forward past the boning and sit there admiring their ‘acting’.

  10. Depends. If he’s feeling maudlin and romantic, I’d go with “Phantom of the Paradise” with Paul Williams. If he’s feeling whimsical, I’d go with Miyazaki’s “My Neighbor Totoro”. If he’s just looking for visuals, then of course, Disney’s “Fantasia”.

  11. LOVE those mustard colored sheets and comforter. SO 1960s.

    Movies….

    Any Monty Python. The TV series too. Me thinks British humour is needed. Although Benny Hill might be a bit much…

    Will also add Animal House…. Why not?

    But don’t forget to listen to music. In this state: Pink Floyd. And maybe some early Yes.

  16. Futurama – Clever, funny, and surreal… but not overly serious or hard to follow. When I had a head injury it was the perfect time kill while my memory recovered.

  17. We don’t want him laughing, that will hurt the sternum.
    Vanilla Sky is pretty trippy. I always thought Raising Arizona was too. For something long and boring, the original Dune might work.

    1. As I was brainstorming my list it occurred to me that a *lot* of the self-absorbed movies that typified 70’s cinema would probably work better if you watched them stoned.

  22. Weekend by Jean Luc Godard.

    “The trip becomes a chaotic journey through a French countryside populated by bizarre characters and punctuated by violent car accidents.” It’s everything you would expect from a French art film.

  24. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
    Battle Beyond the Stars
    They Live
    Krull
    The OG 1980’s Dune
    The entire Ernest P. Worell filmography
    The Red Green Show

    Car-related:
    The Blues Brothers
    Both Thomas Crown Affairs (McQueen and Brosnan)
    Le Mans
    Grand Prix (the earlier, better version of Le Mans with James Garner and an actual plot)
    Two Lane Blacktop (obligatory)
    Cannonball Run
    Speed Zone (the Cannonball Run knockoff where they skip a Countach over a lake like a stone)
    Smokey and the Bandit

    There’s a whole category of movies that is guaranteed to freak you out (Jacobs Ladder jumps immediately to mind) but we don’t want Jason dealing with that kind of stress. Laughter is better, I think.

    1. Waaaaaay back when, my buddy Phil convinced us to watch the OG Dune. This was back in the days when we rented not just the tape, but also the player.

      We got everything home and connected. I cracked open the big black VHS case, extracted the tape, and a booklet fell out.

      It was, no kidding, a DICTIONARY for all the weird words in the movie.

      It was at that moment that I knew we weren’t going to have a good time.

      And we did not.

      Watch the new Dune…

      2. I actually love Lynch’s Dune and saw it in the theater as a kid and remember getting handed that glossary sheet! I’d kill for that paper now! You’re the first person I’ve ever encountered who mentioned anything like that! Wow!

  25. A Scanner Darkly was pretty weird sober. I can’t imagine what it would be like on drugs.

    Also, and I cannot recommend this highly enough, everyone here should watch Velocipastor. Best. Movie. EVER.

    1. Thank you, I was surprised it took so long for someone to mention A Scanner Darkly, however I’m also worried what it may do to his fragile psyche 🙂

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