What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

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As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and  getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.

We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.

But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.

He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?

I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?

Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.

Los Jason

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293 thoughts on “What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?”

  2. All things Miyazaki. Fantastic Planet. Phase IV. Ronin. Lost in Translation. Blade Runner. Fifth Element. Wizards. The Man Who Fell to Earth. Memento. Parasite. Brazil. Solaris 1972. The Gods Must be Crazy (DT too on this one).

  3. Lots of great suggestions here. Ic someone didn’t already mention it, I would suggest “The Prisoner”, the 1960s TV series with Patrick McGoohan. Even if he has already seen it, it feels like the right show for his situation. Plus the cars in it aren’t bad. There is a Lotus seven in the opening sequence and a bunch of mini mokes and other gems throughout.

  5. Since JT will be high on Oxycodone I suggest that he watch A Clockwork Orange. With his altered state of mind, It will seem like a Disney film to him!

  9. As someone who was on self-administered opiates for almost 4 weeks (horrifically shattered leg), please be careful with what they prescribe you.

    That being said – I have some vague memories of watching Ren & Stimpy while off my chops and thought it was real life!!

    In all seriousness – I’d be really interested to hear Jason’s take on the quintessential “car” movies, Bullit, 2 Lane Blacktop, Vanishing Point, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, Cannonball Run, The Italian Job (both), Ronin, Christine, Gone in 60 Seconds (Original and Nic Cage versions) and of course all the Fast & Furious movies. How do they fare when viewed through the lense of today? Do they live up to the hype? Are they actually any good?

    All the best in recovery Jason, take care mate

  10. Twin Peaks. All of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Absolutely Fabulous, The Prisoner (in at least two or three different episode orders), Kaurismaki’s “Hamlet Goes Business” or the Leningrad Cowboys films, Forbidden Zone, The Colour of Magic (or the other two Pratchett adaptations), Surf II, Heavy Metal, Get Crazy (if for nothing else then Lou Reed)… give me a few minutes and I’ll come up with enough viewing/listening to last until he is well.

  11. My ONLY reaction to this is:

    For the love of taillights, please, please, PLEASE don’t get addicted to opiates. It’s really my only fear in life beside Trump as president again. I fear guns less than opiates.

    Get well soon, Jason. Maybe it’s time you jumped into Discord so we can sass you?

    1. Having gone through a serious round of treatment for cancer six years ago, I can say this was the most frightening thing about the recovery period. They sent me home from the hospital with a bucket of Oxy and I only took one because it scared me how powerful it was.

      Medicinal marijuana was not a thing here in Maryland at that point, but some friends helped me out on that front and it got me through recovery. I recommend it instead.

      1. I have the red hair gene that makes pain killers not work great and also gives me a high pain tolerance. I discovered this when I had an emergency appendectomy. I took one dose, determined it didn’t help enough to make a difference, and then just “dealt” with it. Was also very much driven by the desire to not form an opiate addiction.

        I definitely fear having a more invasive surgery that results in pain that can’t be white knuckled. Because it probably means fentanyl. And that will keep me up at night.

        Rooting for you, Jason!

    1. I used to watch this with my daughter when she was a toddler. Best early-morning show ever. I made a DJ Lance costume and bought her a Foofa costume for her 4th Halloween, and won Dad of the Year.
      Side note: we took her to the LIVE SHOW when they went on tour. Even trippier in person. AND: they brought out Biz Markie for Biz’ Beats; he broke into “Just a Friend” and ALL the parents were on our feet singing along.
      This would go very well with a strong cocktail of painkillers and antibiotics.

  13. The new Netflix series The Fall Of The House Of Usher was surprisingly good, especially if you know the stories – and somehow I suspect Jason does. Just trippy enough for the painkillers to make it really weird, too, I think.

  15. Columbo—the episodes from the 70s are a treasure trove of classic cars. And I second Iwannadrive637’s suggestion of The Avengers, because Emma Peel’s Lotus Elan was fantastic.

  19. Disney’s “The Black Hole” from 1979. It was their answer to Star Wars and it was gloriously awful in the most amusing ways imaginable. So full of plot holes, so full of… holes in general, usually in the spaceships, which the characters stand next to nonchalantly without being sucked into the vacuum of space somehow.

    None of it makes sense, but the visual effects are spectacular, it has incredibly 70s robot designs, and I cannot imagine a better movie to watch while drugged off your marbles.

    I also nominate the entirety of the fourth generation My Little Pony cartoon, because Jason likes colorful cute cars so maybe he’ll like colorful cute characters too. The writing and storytelling in the show is high enough quality that anyone could enjoy it, especially while drugged.

  20. I will say if they cracked (sorry divided, my surgeon said that sounds more civilized lol) his sternum it is probably best not to have a dog on his chest. After my quadruple bypass I slept in a chair for months because you aren’t supposed to use your arms to get yourself up because it can mess up your sternum from healing correctly and I tend to roll in my sleep and putting weight against your sternum is a no no.

    As far as things to watch I spent an inordinate amount of time on yt going through Speed Academy, Retropower, and a few other channels.

  21. I’m going left-field and recommending a few youtubers. We know Jason likes messing with old computers so with that in mind:

    Usagi Electric
    RMC
    Action Retro

  22. I have… an idea!

    Somebody make a list of all these movies we are suggesting. Once that list is made, we start a betting pool on what percentage of these movies DT has seen.

    Closest guess gets a year of cloth membership. Or maybe just a COTD?

  23. Tim and Eric Awesome Show (Great Job!)

    It’s the sort of out-there sketch comedy show…sort of like an American Monty Python Being on drugs would help make it funnier.

  24. A cool animation series on Netflix I just got around to start watching, Inside Job. Only two seasons, got cancelled earlier this year, and from what I’ve watched so far it seems criminally underrated. Showrunner Shion Takeuchi has writing credits on Disenchantment, Regular Show and more importantly Gravity Falls, whose creator Alex Hirsch is the Executive Producer here. Gravity Falls is one of the best TV shows I watched with my daughter as she grew up, and Inside Job picks up on a lot of the same humour – but with swear words! – and has a similar animation style.

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