What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

Aa Torch Painkillers
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As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and  getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.

We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.

But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.

He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?

I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?

Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.

Los Jason

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293 thoughts on “What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?”

  2. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (OG version, obviously), Watership Down (again, OG version, the Netflix/BBC version is too good to waste on drugs), and, just for fun, Requiem for a Dream.

  3. “Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets” is excellent fever dream material. It’s trippy to begin with.

    In a similar vein, “The Fifth Element” takes on a sixth dimension while at cruising altitude.

    Every Citroen commercial from the 1980s will land with heretofore unsuspected clarity. Add some shrooms and you might find Jesus (hint: look under the sofa).

    “The City of Lost Children” will remain exactly the same.

    “Dark City” is not recommended. You’ll start sacrificing cats. Not to anything in particular, just sacrificing.

    Watch “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” and “Cool World” on adjacent screens simultaneously.

    1. I have only been high once (coming off anesthesia after an emergency appendectomy), but I feel like I’m high every time I watch “Valerian” or “Fifth Element.” I’ve never wanted to sacrifice cats after watching “Dark City,” but that movie makes me feel like “The Matrix” is supposed to make me feel.

      2. I always thought “Dark City” borrowed heavily on concepts from “The Tunnel Under the World,” a classic SF story by Frederik Pohl in the 50s. The title’s details barely factor in, what it really is is a story about an entire town that has died in an accident, and the residents and their personalities purchased post-mortem by a marketing company. The company then uses the reanimated personalities for comprehensive market testing. On its face its kind of a weird whodunit story but when you spend just a little bit of time thinking about it, it becomes a very dystopian commentary on marketing (and by extension, capitalism) unchained by the fetters of morality – all it takes is dead people! Simple workaround, really.

        Officially – as much as I can tell, anyway – the film doesn’t claim any inspiration from the story, but having read the one and watched the other, similarities are obvious.

        It’s available as a free downloadable ebook from Project Gutenberg: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/31979/31979-h/31979-h.htm

  4. Floating high as a kite is the only way I could’ve made it through the series, Legion. It’s on Hulu. Vaguely part of the X Men universe but full of amazing, LSD-fueled,wacky imagery.

    No. Not that kind of LSD. The other kind.

  5. Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd Dark side of the moon (They sync up, especially if you are impaired). Disney’s Fantasia is another good choice.

  6. Venture Brothers, all 7 seasons plus the recently released film. Mainlining that much nostalgic wierdness while intoxicated should prove pretty entertaining.

    1. FIlm?? WHat? Now I have to go find it. When my kids were little we’d watch the original Johnny Quest and keep track of the body count. Usually never shown on screen, but the JQBC (Jphnny Quest Body Count) could get pretty high sometimes (I wonder how many henchmen were on the ship when it blew up? 30? 50? — damn that’s a lot of killing!) 🙂
      Good times,,,good times….

      Binging on all seasons of Archer helped me weather 7 months of chemo 🙂 Maybe an Archer Marathon while high might be fun too (Archer does drive a cool car!).

  7. Trafic (1971) directed by Jacques Tati. Watching without subtitles is worth it, just for the cars. From imbd:
    At Altra Motors, Mr. Hulot designs an ingenious camper car with lots of clever features. A lorry hauls the prototype to an important auto show in Amsterdam, with Mr. Hulot alongside in his car and a spoiled, trendy PR exec, the young Maria, in her sports car packed with designer clothes and her fluffy dog. The lorry has every imaginable problem, delaying its arrival. A flat tire, no gas, an accident, a run-in with police, a stop at a garage, and numerous traffic jams showcase vignettes of people and their cars. 

  8. Napoleon Dynamite as a father-son activity with Otto, who I think is about the age my son was when we watched it together. We laughed our heads off. When I later watched it alone, I would have needed the stuff Jason is taking to find it funny. The combination of an adolescent viewing partner and the meds should make for a sublime experience.

    1. I’ve tried to watch that a couple of times, and each time I wasn’t drunk or high enough to get past the first fifteen minutes. The reputation that movie enjoys just boggles my mind.

  9. I feel Jason would enjoy the humor of “Nathan for You” if he wants a laugh. “How To with John Wilson” has some amazing episodes too.

    Thanks for the update and I’m glad he is home and resting!

    1. After an aorta repair, laughing hard is not what you want to do very much of. Little giggles sure. But anything that alters intrathoracic pressure too much is dangerous.

  10. See if you can find a little-known comedy from 1992 called Brain Donors with John Turturro and Mel Smith. It’s basically a tribute to the Marx Bros’ A Night at the Opera. Extremely silly, but watching it with friends while, ahem, under the influence was one of the great experiences of my young life. What I remember of it anyway.

    Unless it still hurts to laugh, in which case do not do this.

  12. Glad to see he’s back home! One recommendation is the seasons of Fargo. Not all are great, but season 1 is, and the other are totally worth it. If Jason hasn’t seen Atlanta, I would highly recommend that. The Teddy Perkins EP of Atlanta seems like it would be right up his alley.

  13. All the seasons of CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Hardcastle and McCormick.

    After that, trippy Animation: 1957 Animal Farm, The Body Electric ( Featuring Music by Rush), Heavy Metal, Elephants Dream (2006), Geri’s Game (1997), The Lord of the Rings (1978), Paprika (2006), When the Wind Blows (1987), Wizards (1977)

    After that, odd Sci-Fi: Beyond the Black Rainbow, Dark Star, The Island at the top of the World (1974), Repo Man, Renaissance (2006), Return to Oz, Strange Days, The Vast of the Night (2020)

    If you need more, just watch all the live action, Hobbit and Lord of the Rings in extended edition. All of that should will into next year.

  14. Scott Pilgrim Saves the World.

    BTW, I’ve never been eviscerated like Torch was, but it seems that having a dog lay on my chest after that experience would be horrendous. Those must be some awesome drugs he’s on.

  17. I would reach for two things in this situation.

    Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job (username checks out) – for the surreal.

    The TGIF 1993 sitcom block (Family Matters – Boy Meets World – Step by Step – Sister Sister) – for the so down the middle sitcom vibe that it almost feels unreal.

    1. ^this^… one of the funniest and most entertaining things my wife and I have watched in a long time. Great writing which, apparently, mandated the use of at least the “C” word and the “F” word in every sentence… preferably both!

      1. Where are you living out of interest? I think its being shown around the globe now. I was wondering how the aussie humour translated – and the swearing. I like how they skewer the whole PC / woke debate while keeping it entertaining.
        If you like Deadloch. The writers Kate McCartney and Kate McLennan did a sketch show on Youtube called “The Katering show” which I can recommend!

        1. We are in the states in New England. Funny, not everybody appreciates the Aussie humor… but I don’t want to be friends with those people anyhow. Being a New Englander, we are quite verse in sarcasm as a standard means of communication so I suspect this lends itself to the appreciation of non-American humor, er, humour. I generally enjoy British, Irish, Aussie shows over most current American offerings. We have “How I Met Your Mother” (not in the least bit funny)… and, well, you know the rest. “Bad Sisters” was a gem as was “Fleabag” which was absolutely brilliant. Just a couple of examples off the top of my head. Keep it coming!

          1. Fleabag was great. Phoebe Waller-bridge is such a talent. There’s a couple of other Aussie shows that I can recommend. One is ‘Colin from accounts’. ‘Rake’ Was great for the first few series if you can find it! As well as ‘Utopia’ Like the office (UK).

  22. Though Monty Python has been mentioned in general, The Meaning of Life film would be extraordinary while on medication, it’s difficult to imagine what’s happening on the screen is really happening when you’re sober watching it. The ‘thin mint’ scene definitely rates high on ‘chest cracking extremes’.
    On a side note, Torch, who knew your choice of bedding is a partially deflated exit ramp slide from a jumbo jet, figure it’s from a decommissioned 747.
    May a quick recovery be yours!

  25. Dark City! See how often he can spot the DS.

    Life of Pi. Gummo. Dead Alive. The Human Centipede. Saw I through VI. Troll (the faux documentary one). Hamlet. Driving Miss Daisy. Fear and Loathing in LV. A Clockwork Orange.

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, for obvious reasons.

    Shutter Island is just trippy enough for this situation.

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