As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.
We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.
But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.
He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?
I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?
Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.
Lets go back to a simpler time when road racing & rallying was done in sub-150hp machines:
The Great Race (1965)
The Love Bug (1969)
Those Daring Young Men in their Jaunty Jalopies (1969 – also known as “Monte Carlo or Bust” outside of the US)
Diamonds on Wheels (1973)
Downshift to Danger (1974 episode of McMillan and Wife)
And while we’re at it – might as well enjoy the road chase of a beautiful spy in her Jaguar E-Type vs David Niven/Sir James Bond in his Bentley 4 1/2 litre somewhere in the middle of the 420-gummy worthy original Casino Royale (1967)
Maybe even It’s a Mad^4 World
One of my favorite films.
But that Imperial definitely had more than 150hp
😉
Are the Teletubbies still around? That was quite entertaining way back when I got a bottle of fun pills after having a couple of wisdom teeth cut out. Bonus points if you can track down that ‘banned’ episode (I think it was about a lion or bear on a wheeled cart). Or perhaps Jason should rewatch the Cars movies; maybe pharmeceuticals will allow him to further expand his theories about that universe.
Wizard of Oz.
2001
fear and loathing in Las Vegas!
1899, Dark, Black Mirror will most likely all be mindfucks when on painkillers.
I really enjoyed 1899, btw, I was upset they didn’t green light a 2nd season. I spent the first half of the season trying desperately to figure out what the hell was going on, especially as I went into it thinking it was just a period drama.
I’ve also been watching a lot of foreign WW2 movies on Netflix and Amz, not sure if Torch is a history nerd.
Thanks for the update on my hero! I don’t watch enough movies to make a suggestion but would lean toward those with some cereberal content.
Surreal shit, like this short movie featuring a Kaiser Carabela:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnB31RzjBmI&t=404s.
Vintage racing footage of weird parts of the world. Here we go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXImhni9N78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EVYh1N23ls&t=605s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BXVoVHLoPw
Just my 2 cts.
Do recover soon, Torch!
Thanks for those! Having fun figuring out the cars in the first one what with the trippy aero noses
(thumbs up)
I’m glad you are enjoying the vids!
It’s time to bring out the weird shit!
Being John Malkovich
Sorry To Bother You
Burn After Reading
Guns Akimbo
Swiss Army Man
As somebody that does not partake in any mind-altering substances (no alcohol either), these movies still tripped me out a bit, so I can only imagine they’d go extra hard when doped up on painkillers.
The 3D Botmaker racing series on YouTube (I’m not affiliated with them, I just love watching them!) The fact that it’s toy cars racing, with full commentary, should play with Jason’s reality quite well.
I feel like the Brave Little Toaster could be a fun trip
Hmmm…
Beastmaster (Marc Singer in a loincloth! Key-stealing ferrets! Tonya Roberts as Tonya Roberts starring as Tonya Roberts!)
Fantastic Planet (It’s a great film that makes no sense, anyway, so why not watch it while tripping?)
Mad Max: The Road Warrior and Fury Road (This needs no explanation)
Speed Racer (Again, no explanation needed.)
Pacific Rim (See us for all your robot-on-kaiju needs!)
I’d suggest most/all Mel Brooks’ movies, but I imagine that laughing with that scar is not recommended.
So probably all the pretty cinematic nature and animal videos like the ones National Geographic and such has.
And/or all of Project Farm’s and I Do Cars’ teardown YouTube videos.
And/or a Japanese language course to enable an insider edge for ordering more Pao parts.
And/or appropriate Chinese language course for Changli parts.
Both Dunes
When my birthday passed ~6 weeks ago and I got no drawing from Torch, I thought, well, maybe he’s just a little busy. Then I heard his heart exploded and naturally my first reaction was… “Well, did his hands explode or can he still draw?”
No, no, I kid.
But I did begin thinking maybe we all should start drawing cars for Torch….the more poorly, the better (I say that because I am unskilled), so that when he looks at them, he cannot determine if it looks weird because the artist is weird (likely) or because he’s on drug (also likely).
Jupiter Ascending. That movie is sooo good when you’re high.(And ONLY when you’re high)
Scavengers Reign was trippy enough NOT stoned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWQH8cMpWTU
Maximum Overdrive for the Green Goblin truck. The Big Bus because it’s a nuclear powered bus. Little Monsters. The original Point Break because Johnny Utah! The Matrix movies. The Room because maybe it’ll actually make sense while drugged.
This immediately came into my head when I saw the headline-don’t know why but-
Mad Max-original version
“Born with a steering wheel in his hand and lead in his foot. He is the Nightrider cruising at the speed of fright! This is the Nightrider, and we ain’t never coming back!”
The fuel injected suicide machine!!
join the other druggies at Woodstock
I immediately went to Heavy Metal
“Dude, where’s my car.” I once was recovering from a cancer operation, and laying there, doped out of my skull, this was on. According to my now wife, I was convinced it was more like a live-action news report than a movie, and was both astounded and laughing hysterically.
I saw it sober many years later and now recognize that Rick James was right.
As Cohost of Reels & Wheels, I think it’s important to cover the highs and lows here. Highs? He should watch Duel and Sorcerer. Two of my personal faves.
Lows? James made me watch LeMans and Winning. It’s just racing footage loosely turned into movies because movie stars gotta drive. Great to watch while high.
Specifically for Jason? Every Herbie movie. All of ’em. He’ll appreciate the bad ones while high and he taught James and I to appreciate the original while sober.
Weird? Oh hell yes watch Killdozer. Best 7 minutes of Robert Urich’s career.
A Scanner Darkly would be crazy to watch while on painkillers.
A Scanner Darkly and Waking
Life would be great back to back
Natural Born Killers
Not sure if it’s been mentioned already, but TRON. All that light cycle action and black light usage? That has to be on the short list.
And if you need a board game, I can recommend Bob Ross – The Art of Chill. I played that on Christmas Day 2018 while on oxycodone because I was passing a kidney stone. (Fun way to spend Christmas!) This one is more for Jason’s family than him – I’m told I was quite amusing during that game.