What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

Aa Torch Painkillers
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As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and  getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.

We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.

But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.

He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?

I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?

Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.

Los Jason

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293 thoughts on “What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

  1. Gosh, it’s been so long since I had a TV that I totally forgot the other thing that’s fun as hell when you’re kinda-to-hella out of it: telenovelas. The cornier, the cheesier, the more over-acted, and the less believable, the better. Substances (TM), such as those used during sick days, take these from sort of funny to hella funny.

    (Maybe avoid Univision’s since that was the beginning of the end of the last place we worked together, though. Or, yarr, yo ho, yo ho, avast me hearties, you know the drill.)

  2. I want a picture of Otto reading The Princess Bride to Torch. Make sure Torch wears a Bears jersey and Otto is wearing some sort of rumpled hat or beanie.
    And then watch Princess Bride together!

  3. “What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?”
    I suggest something made by Stanley Kubrick… like A Clockwork Orange or The Shining.

  4. Watching Repo Man is always fun when you’re high as two kites. Harry Dean Stanton is such a classic character actor. Tracey Walter is also terrific. Jimmy Buffett, and Michael Nesmith of Monkees fame, make virtually invisible appearances in the movie too. You have to look closely.

  5. Definitely Convoy. Since it’s a terrible movie to watch while stone-cold sober, I’d love to see his take on it after watching it while high as a kite.

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