What you see in this Facebook Marketplace ad will blow your genitals clean off. You’ll be slack-jawed, head-tilted, or maybe even just making Tim Taylor noises at the sheer craftsmanship of this vehicle. This is no ordinary Ford Pinto. This, as the seller claims, is a 1977 Ford Pinto 350 convertible.
First, a little bit of history for those who only know the Pinto as a punchline. Launched in 1970, this compact hatchback was part of America’s assault on the Volkswagen. Look, the Allies kicked Wolfsburg’s ass by bombing the factory, some geopolitics happened, and the Volkswagen started to kick Detroit’s ass among people just looking for a cheap, solid car. The Ford Falcon didn’t really come down to the Volkswagen’s level, the Cortina was, well, British, and sold poorly in America, so the Pinto was really the big splash. Ford made more than three million of these runabouts, even if its design had some unfortunate consequences in the event of a rear-end collision. Naturally, it only makes sense that some of these units were customized.
Ford only made one Pinto convertible, and it was just a concept car that never made it to mass consumption. Still, that hasn’t stopped someone from taking matters into their own hands. Keep in mind, the ’70s was an era when enthusiasts were just waiting for NHTSA to outlaw convertibles on safety grounds, so thank god that possibility never materialized. Instead, we ended up with a steady stream of modern convertibles, along with this exceedingly unusual Ford Pinto. We’ve rotated the photo so you can fully, uh, appreciate it:
One signature feature of the Pinto is a massive rear window that lifts to provide access to the cargo area, which looks like this in the intended hatchback configuration. This custom convertible still has the glass, now serving as an entirely transparent trunk lid. Thieves might like that very much, as it should be easy to see what’s inside the trunk. Of course, because the Pinto’s rear window isn’t perfectly trapezoidal, filler pieces were made to fit the massive rear window in a horizontal position, and the end result is much better than the tramp’s-hat convertible top.
Yep, the sheer shock of a Pinto like this probably took your focus off the convertible top, didn’t it? Aftermarket convertible tops for cars that were never meant to be convertibles weren’t great in the ’70s and still aren’t great now, and this ragtop with its tiny rear window, litany of snaps, and straight-edge silhouette certainly isn’t the most flattering top ever made. Actually, there’s a whiff of Model T to it, which works in a weird sort of way.
Also delightful: the bespoke hood scoop, which in no way resembles a piece of apartment HVAC equipment or a cheap paper shredder. Whatever this silver thing is, it’s been molded into the hood by way of a forbidden mini-ramp, and that mini-ramp is painted the finest barbecue-spec flat black, because racecar. When you think about it, a Pinto is basically a Mustang, right?
As this is an American car of a certain era, there’s a litany of cosmetic tat going on to tart up the looks. The sort of stuff two-wheelers call “farkle.” How about a smidgen of woodgrain trim, and some chrome that follows absolutely zero body lines in particular as it bulldozes through the rear wheel arch lip? Oh, and let’s just gloss over the quartet of Buick hubcaps, as this Pinto clearly isn’t playing with a full deck as it is.
So where does the “350” in the title of the ad come from? Well, popping the hood certainly doesn’t make anything clearer. That front-mounted distributor rules out a small-block Chevrolet V8, and I have a suspicion there isn’t a V8 in this Pinto at all. Truthfully, this looks like an Essex V6, but on the flip side, if I had a dollar for every pixel in this photograph, I’d have 17 cents. Such is the charm of Facebook Marketplace, am I right?
In all seriousness, this 1977 Ford Pinto is a fantastic way of spending $2,995 because I guarantee that no Aventador or 812 Superfast will attract as many eyeballs as this thing. Sure, some people might laugh at it, but if you’re in on the joke, who cares? Long live bad taste, especially when it’s so questionable that it wraps around to be positively awesome again.
(Photo credits: Facebook Marketplace)
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Damnit, this again?
Per units sold, the Pinto was safer than any of its competitors. The numbers of rear-end fires that happened were inflated from yellow journalism.
It was a meme. It ended up with a bunch of good bits, but it was never true.
I’m thinking the hatch may be from a Mercury Bobcat. The Pinto hatch had metal all the way round if I’m remembering right, while the Bobcat had a hatch that was just glass—and approximately this shape. Can’t read the letters on the handle, but don’t seem to match with Mercury. Shame the seller couldn’t be bothered to take better pictures
Counterpoint: thank goodness they’re blurred.
Maybe the owner is a Japanese adult entertainment aficionado.
IIRC the Bobcat was a Canada only offering the all glass tail hatch was a 1977-on thing for the Pinto as part of the “Refresh”.
That’s what I get for not checking before commenting!
I’m 99% sure that glass hatch belongs to a first generation Toyota Tercel. Not that it looks much better in that though… (And I have to admit I’m actually a big fan of Toyota’s from that era)
No its from the Pinto itself, they had a few veriations of that hatch, this one matchs up though. Often-mocked Pinto still has its fans (rgj.com)
I love how the Pinto looks, unironically. The Gremlin, too. And the Volvo 480 and C30. It’s a shame most of those are shit because I’d have all 4 in my driveway.
I started racing circle track at 15, in a Pinto. My dad/brother and I campaigned them each summer around the region, so yeah, I have a soft spot for them, they really are a good-looking car. I have always wanted to build some sort of ultra-awesome version under the body.
I’d love to bring a Volvo 480 and really frighten the squares (literally) at the next Volvo meet.
They are so gorgeous.
The interior shot in the ad makes me think that the convertible top is actually a Carson-style rigid removable item which, honestly, just makes me like this thing all the more.
Reminds me of a song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twShKlV0On0
Me too, just a different song:
https://youtu.be/uErKI0zWgjg
I would merrily drive that every damn day. Until Tuesday afternoon when it caught fire backing out of my driveway.
what is so hard to understand, that is the space for a pet okay?
WTF? This is just nuts and not in a good way. Trying to honestly understand why someone would put the time and effort into something like this monstrosity. This thing is a God damned Loch Ness monster, to quote the late, great Chef. Like this guy went to the Stevie Wonder School of Car Customizing or something.
Sorry/not sorry.
It’s nuts without enough bolts.
There are easier ways to make a raised bed herb garden.
Easier? Yes. Better? No.
See, this is the kind of lunacy I would buy with my $135,220.
I am cursed with “vision”. I can kinda spot the spark of brilliance in the maelstrom of madness that created this Pinto, and I want to try to take it over the finish line.
I have a problem…
If it helps, you seem perfectly normal to me.
I’ve seen your posts. Doesn’t help at all. 🙂
Why all the negativity? I’m a glass-assed-full kind of guy myself.
Me too, but this really is more of a Toilet half full situation here….
I can think of an excellent use for this. No, not a bonfire.
Line and insulate the rear hatch area under the glass. Add a drain plug or two.
During the summer, fill the trunk with ice and non-alcoholic beverages. Or install a 12V freezer mechanism and stock the back with ice cream.
Either way you can spread joy while you drive around in an oddball vehicle.
I’d go the other way. Hot dog rotisserie.
That’s a good idea, too!
The glass was giving me frozen/cold section at a convenience store, but that trunk lid could easily have a hot dog roller under it.
Cold stuff for summer, hot dogs for cooler weather. Or divide the trunk and do food *and* beverages. 🙂
Combine “what the hell IS that thing?” with “oh, there’s snacks in there!” and watch the money roll in. LOL
Be sure to remove the o from the badge.
Someone hatched a bad plan.
What bothers me is this Pinto was ridden hard and put up wet.
I kinda want to hoof it out there and take a look at it.
One of 500? More like one of one. Aside from the questionable hood (?) and really bad top (who drives it with the top up, anyway) it looks like a 50/50 body job (50ft @ 50mph). The hatch? You’ve cut up a hatchback with a perfectly good glass hatch. What are you going to do? Oh, and I’m 90% sure that those ‘350’ numbers are from a Nova (fine, maybe some other GM product…)
I’m a little sad you didn’t address the delusional claim that this was one of 500 built and it’s not a custom job.
Pretty sure the silver thing on the hood is the upper grille extension on the hood from a mid ’80s Mercury Marquis.
https://cdn-fastly.thetruthaboutcars.com/media/2022/07/19/9170184/junkyard-find-1983-mercury-marquis-sedan.jpg?size=720×845&nocrop=1
> the delusional claim that this was one of 500 built and it’s not a custom job.
It looks like 1970s Ford factory workmanship (on a Friday).
It’s so bad it’s good. The baby blue paint and tragic 70’s design ethos just need the flames from the Wayne’s World Pacer as the finishing touch.
This isn’t the Mirthmobile, it’s the Methmobile.
This is a coarse piece of art, that avoids ute-ility.
What’s not to like? Ham goes in the trunk. Take about 30 minutes to drive home. Badda bing, badda boom, hot ham.
Add water, and you get steamed hams!
Add fire and you have roast ham.
Not gonna lie, I’d probably drive it… Purely for the laughs
Tree falls on your underinsured Pinto, crushing the center of the roof, but miraculously leaving the windshield and back glass intact?
That’s so you can get a better view of the fireball.
Crack pipe, er, No Dice, doh, wrong site.
Uh, okay, I’ll take whatever other horrific piece of shit Tucker is offering up tomorrow.
…goes to set down any tool…
“Fuck, broke the damn glass again!”
-Tim “The Toolman” Taylor
That trunk lid is brilliant. In a Rainman sort of way.
Why can I never find eye bleach when I need it?
Because you can’t see after the first time you actually did find it!