I’m not sure if you’ve been paying attention, but at this moment Russian President Vladimir Putin is visiting North Korea, where he’s being feted and welcomed with banners and uncomfortably well-organized celebratory displays. North Korea’s evil-cherub-looking leader, Kim Jong-un, is of course there to pal around with the ghoulish Putin, and, more relevant to our interests, the pair have been seen driving around in a gift Putin brought for Jong-un, a sleek black limousine that looks a bit like the result of a drunken sex-conference between a Chrysler 300 and a Bentley Flying Spur. So what exactly is this car? What should we know about it?
The car is an Aurus Senat and it represents Russia’s most ambitious luxury car, at least since the days of the old Zil or Chaika limousines. The Senat started production in 2021 and was developed by Russia’s Central Scientific Research Automobile and Automotive Engines Institute, known by their Russian acronym, NAMI. The car is part of the Aurus Kortezh line of official, motorcade-type vehicles, and is built on a “Common Modular Platform” that underpins all the Aurus variants, from sedans to stretched limos.
The Senat is powered by a 4.4-liter V8 with twin turbos making 598 horsepower and 649 pound-feet of torque; the engine was allegedly co-designed and built by Porsche and Bosch. There are hybrid options, too, if you’re sick of blowing all your rubles at the pump. That engine is bolted to a nine-speed automatic gearbox and drives all four wheels.
Design-wise, the Senat feels quite derivative, with the profile resembling the Mercedes-Benz S600 Pullman Guard that the Senat replaced as the Russian state limousine, and the rear sort of feels like a Bentley Flying spur with the way the rear fenders kind of bulge out and the general shape of the taillights, while the headlights and front end feel like dead ringers for the Chrysler 300.
Seriously, look:
The Senat is plenty opulent, as you’d expect from a car like this; in fact the website notes that
“All sounds of the multimedia system were recorded in a professional studio using live string and wind instruments”
… so when you tap an icon on a Senat’s infotainment screen, you’re not going to be subjected to some feedback beep from a Casio keyboard recorded in some bathroom; you’ll get genuine bassoon or maybe cello sounds!
Okay, let’s get back to these two wacky goofballs just yukking it up in this fancy-ass car:
Here’s what I don’t get: Putin already gave Kim Jong-un an Aurus Senat back in February; so why they hell is he giving him another one just, what, four months later? Is that first one already relegated to being a parts car? Did Kim Jong-un flip it while trying to parallel park on one of the weirdly empty streets of Pyongyang?
Why didn’t Putin give him one of the other Aurus models, like the Komendant, which feels like what Aurus built after seeing a Rolls-Royce Cullinan drive by:
If he had given him one of those, then Kim Jong-un would at least have had the whole set, and not just some dupe of the one he had before. I guess he can use one of those Senats for trading with other heads of state who collect Russian luxury cars.
I also wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the new car was gifted because some of the listening devices and spy cameras and other espionage crap the car is likely saturated with failed. I mean, I don’t know that, but come on, who are we kidding here? These two callow dictators don’t trust anybody, really.
Anyway, I hope these two bloodthirsty best buddies had a real blast whipping around their fancy cushmobile at speeds approaching 22 mph around that pristine park.
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I’m glad you brought up the certainty of listening devices because if you hadn’t I would have.
And I knew you would have. It’s best you don’t know how I knew.
Kim has limited language skills and tends to learn things from television and bootleg movies on Betamax tapes smuggled out of the Philippines decades ago. He likes to try out new phrases on visitors. So, when Putin arrived Kim greeted him with his latest linguistic achievement: Dude, where’s my car?
Kim has limited language skills and tends to learn things from television and bootleg movies on Betamax tapes smuggled out of the Philippines decades ago. He likes to try out new phrases on visitors. So, when Putin arrived Kim greeted him with his latest linguistic achievement: Dude, where’s my car?
It also has an awfully strong resemblance to the 2006 Chrysler Imperial concept car.
https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/pictures/2006-chrysler-imperial-concept-car/
Russians are pretty keen on imperialism.
Yeah, I was thinking about that myself. I wonder what would have happened if Chrysler had built that thing.
It also has an awfully strong resemblance to the 2006 Chrysler Imperial concept car.
https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/pictures/2006-chrysler-imperial-concept-car/
Russians are pretty keen on imperialism.
Yeah, I was thinking about that myself. I wonder what would have happened if Chrysler had built that thing.
Kim is waiting for Aurus’ sports car, the Tyrant
Nah, he’s just waiting on Putin’s people to finish restoring a vintage Studebaker for him: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studebaker_Dictator
Kim is waiting for Aurus’ sports car, the Tyrant
Nah, he’s just waiting on Putin’s people to finish restoring a vintage Studebaker for him: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studebaker_Dictator
does it have a red button somewhere on the dash ?
does it have a red button somewhere on the dash ?
In the Independent article linked…. I keep seeing this name as Anus in this sentence
Mr Kim, who has a large collection of luxury foreign cars, was pictured inspecting Mr Putin’s presidential Anrus
That’s just how he pronounces it.
In the Independent article linked…. I keep seeing this name as Anus in this sentence
Mr Kim, who has a large collection of luxury foreign cars, was pictured inspecting Mr Putin’s presidential Anrus
That’s just how he pronounces it.
The Senat looks alright doesn’t it? And wasn’t it designed by Bertone?
Yeah, I hate to admit it but it looks better than maybe 60% of cars made now
The Senat looks alright doesn’t it? And wasn’t it designed by Bertone?
Yeah, I hate to admit it but it looks better than maybe 60% of cars made now
I was really hoping this thing had Fiat 124 underpinnings.
The leaf spring suspension of a Lada Niva
Everything that is made in Russia is gniotsa not łamiotsa.
The Niva has coils all around:
Coil springs are located at each of the four wheels, and the suspension is independent in front, whereas the rear axle is a five-link live-type, with ratios between 3.90 and 4.30 depending on the model and market. Ground clearance is 235 mm (9.25 in), and go as far as 510 mm (20 in) deep in water.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lada_Niva
Wow, well, I stand corrected. Never looked closely at a Niva’s suspension but I imagined it to be the crudest, simplest thing.
I was really hoping this thing had Fiat 124 underpinnings.
The leaf spring suspension of a Lada Niva
Everything that is made in Russia is gniotsa not łamiotsa.
That top shot is just the best, kudos!
That top shot is just the best, kudos!
One fatal car crash away from world peace!
Xi Jinping has entered the chat
Yes I agree but at 22 mph? Oh wait, it was made in Russia so yes they will die at 22mph when they hit a tree or stop light or a park bench.
One fatal car crash away from world peace!
Xi Jinping has entered the chat
Yes I agree but at 22 mph? Oh wait, it was made in Russia so yes they will die at 22mph when they hit a tree or stop light or a park bench.
The “we have a limo at home” for “we have dictators at home”
The “we have a limo at home” for “we have dictators at home”
If I was Vlad, I’d save those cars for the purpose of transporting doomed soldiers in Ukraine, since they’re running out of combat vehicles. Is there a cope-cage option?
Doesn’t care, not one little bit.
If I was Vlad, I’d save those cars for the purpose of transporting doomed soldiers in Ukraine, since they’re running out of combat vehicles. Is there a cope-cage option?
Doesn’t care, not one little bit.
I’d also believe fetid.
I imagine fellated as well. At least his ego.
I’d also believe fetid.
I imagine fellated as well. At least his ego.