One of the greatest parts about being a car enthusiast is that everyone is different. Sure, there are a bunch of people into Ford Mustangs and whatever new supercar McLaren launches in a given week, but people can love anything. I love the Smart Fortwo enough to own five of them! But there are some cars you might feel embarrassed for loving. Or, maybe there’s a feature that just gets your heart pumping. These are automotive guilty pleasures and tell me, what’s yours?
Since beginning a career writing about cars, motorcycles, RVs, and so on, I’ve come to a conclusion that I didn’t think I’d arrive at. Ready for it? Crossovers aren’t as bad as they’re made out to be. Sure, the vast majority of them are forgettable appliances but guess what, the majority of car buyers aren’t looking for low-slung manual wagons. They just want something that gets decent fuel economy, is easy to get in and out of, and has enough room for their kids and groceries. Boom, the crossover does that perfectly.
Being ok with crossovers is not my guilty pleasure. Instead, there’s one crossover out there that I would spend real money on. It’s a crossover that my colleagues Matt and Jason have no idea why I like so much. That crossover is the Volkswagen Atlas Cross Sport. Yes, the crossover that’s a member of the hated “coupe crossover” trend.
In theory, this is a crossover that I should hate. Volkswagen realized few people actually used the Volkswagen Touareg as the super SUV that it was, so it was killed off in our market and replaced with the soft Atlas. The Atlas is a fine vehicle, but is for the most part forgettable. Can you remember when was the last time you’ve seen one? Or does it blend into the surroundings that well?
I will attempt to defend myself here. When I tested one at the end of 2021, I was pleased by the crossover’s comfort, quiet cabin, and tech. Sure, VW wasn’t doing anything special in there, but it felt like a comfortable daily driver. Not too exciting, but practical. What I liked most about my tester was the VR6 engine under the hood, which has since been removed from the Atlas lineup. It also handled reasonably well for a big crossover.
As for the roof? I don’t need three rows of seats, so I’d take the coupé-ish fastback-ish roof of the Cross Sport. Matt wonders if I’ve been driving cheap, crappy cars for so long that the idea of owning a Volkswagen Atlas Cross Sport seems appealing to me. I’m sure some of that is there, but I don’t view other crossovers with such fondness. Maybe it’s that VR6 engine, because while I like the updated interior of the 2024 Atlas, I’d rather go a year older and get the cooler engine.
I’m not sure why I like a forgettable crossover so much, but I would totally throw down money at an Atlas Cross Sport. Honestly, an Atlas Cross Sport wouldn’t even be in my top ten new cars to buy, but it is on my list. Maybe I’d put A/Ts on it and a lift.
So, how about you? What’s your automotive guilty pleasure?
I love 2nd gen Mazda MPVs!
In my fleet of interesting misfit vehicles (XJR6, LaForza, Minicab, etc.) I have two 3.0L 2nd gen MPVs. They are large inside, small outside, surprisingly fast and tossable, and the interiors wear well. They are also very reliable, easily running past 250K miles if you are not abusive and keep up on maintenance.
As 3/4 size minivans, you can maneuver them in the city and fit them in small parking places – but they are still large enough inside to help someone move. The large windows give great visibility, and they are so easy to drive that I have no hesitation loaning them to friends and family visiting town.
Best of all, they are unloved by the market and therefor very cheap for the function and quality they offer! $4-6K will buy you an excellent one with maybe 100-150K miles on the west coast. I’ve heard they can rust, but that’s just not a problem where I live.
Liking the Dodge Demon. Yes, it is ridiculous. No, no one needs a car with that much power on the road. Yes, I know it is only fast in a straight line. But is a car that can pull the front wheels off the ground bone stock. Yes, I know that is of no practical use to anyone, but I don’t care!! I want it!
Motorcycle answer: Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail Classic, or really any V-twin rolling-armchair dentist-bike. I am now the (guilty) owner of a 20-year old Kawasaki Vulcan and it’s just this cushy, loping, fatty of a bike that would embarrass 20-year-old me beyond recognition.
I have learned over the years, however, that liking something *genuinely* is far, far better than liking something *ironically* so to everyone in this thread: just enjoy it. Take what pleasures life has to offer and don’t feel one whit bad about it.
Props to the Atlas and Atlas Cross Sport.. I cross-shopped dozens of CUV/SUVs, and it was the most comfortable to drive, and a reasonable price compared to the markups on the others. Not as capable as I’d like, but that doesn’t matter on the 405.
The Volvo 780 Bertone, though I can’t say I exactly feel guilty about it.
The original Tesla Roadster is eeeeeasily my problematic fave. It’s like a little electric go-kart! Based on a Lotus! Remember feeling excited and optimistic about that company? Goshdarnit. I still kinda want one. That’s my flavor of historically significant jank, but I feel like it’d get attention from the worst kind of stans. Maybe I could throw a “Bring Back Eberhard” license plate frame on the back or something.
Friends have an enormous Atlas Coupe Sport thing.
They find it useful for carrying around the Chocolate Lab and the Berniedoodle.
Feels like an oversized and cheapened Golf to me.
Of course when the Lab comes to stay with me, he prefer his rides in the Mercedes with the Woof down.
I hate to admit it, but if it wasn’t for watching endless COPS/World’s Wildest Police Videos reruns and other copaganda stuff, I probably wouldn’t be a “car guy” now.
80s-90s cop cars hold a special place in my heart: Caprices and LTDs and Diplomats, oh my!
Volvo C30 T5. Why so many people think it’s hideous is beyond me.
My dad is strongly considering one for, lacking a better term as he’s retired, fun weekend car.
My friend is on his second! It’s so good, albeit in a slow-car-fast kind of way. Absolutely cavernous cargo space with the back seats down…which they should be, because legroom is not on the menu.
Love those!
Loud V8s, or loud any engine really.
My sons’ 2007 Volvo V50 with 200k miles. It’s a base trim insanely comfortable 5 cylinder twerpy wagon that I love to drive, and I have a stable of fun cars. It’s easy to see out of, easy to operate and hauls a bunch of stuff. And, as we all know, old Volvo wagons just get cooler as they age, even the twerpy ones!
Did I mention it’s twerpy?
Underdogs. I’m a sucker for Jaguar, Dodge and Citroen.
Oldsmobiles, 1980’s F-bodies, and C3 Vettes (I came up as a Ford guy but couldn’t help peeking over the fence).
Cupholders. For all the flack about them, all the “real drivers focus on the road”, etc, screw you, I want my coffee…
My guilty pleasure is old, boxy, weird shitbox cars.
It’s been often stated that if I won the lottery, my spouse would have her Lambo and I’d have a warehouse full of $5000 oddball crapcans.
My guilty pleasure would be vans, but I have no actual guilt for that so…
I’m going to say the 4Runner. A mainstream adventure vehicle most people find to be cool wouldn’t seem like a guilty pleasure, but I simply have no use for one. But I would like one. For whatever reason, everything I hate about modern SUVs is rendered moot by the 4Runner. The legendary durability, the agricultural nature of the thing, the roll down rear windshield? Would I prefer an older one? Yes. But in general the 4Runner seems like a damn good time that not even my “practical over all else” ethos can resist.
Oh and I’ll add the 10th gen F-150 and the Ford Contour to that.
Japanese vanilla-design cars. Prime examples being the Toyota Comfort, Probox and the de-branded Muji Car 1000. I’m deeply fascinated by the almost zen-like simplicity and timelessness of these designs, but also so how incredibly bland and invisible they deliberately designed them.
Looking at the “old site” every weekday for NPOCP – I feel like I’m cheating on my current partner by looking at an ex or something like that.
Rob and Bradley should come over to this site. They’re all that’s left worth reading “over there”.
I’m getting to the point of hating myself every time I check out the “old site.” Not even for the content, but because the user experience has just become SO BAD.
Yeah—I adore the staffers still there as friends/colleagues/good people who deserve better management and site design, but goshdarnit if it doesn’t stress the hell out of my adblocker to go there. It’ll straight-up crash my browser if I try to visit Jalopnik on mobile, which sucks because I want to read cool stuff from my friends!!! 🙁
Stripped-out 4×4 pickup trucks which don’t really exist anymore, but it wasn’t long ago you could buy an F-150 or similar with almost nothing in regard to creature comforts. A bench seat, manual transmission, and AM/FM radio- AC if you are lucky.
Automatic transmissions. I couldn’t give a shit if I never change gears myself again.
There are some cars where it just makes sense. I want to be comfy in my tow pig. The temptation to get a manual Cayenne to wheel off-road is high, but like, the primary reason I want a cushy SUV is to tow. If I’ve just spent all weekend farting around in a race car, I want to hop in the comfy tow vehicle, enjoy some *luxury amenities* (read: blast GWAR to stay awake) and put the minimal amount of effort into driving home. I can’t feel shame about it because it just makes sense there. Not every car needs to be a manual!
I think it is a bit of an age thing for me. I have all sorts of uncomfortable things but now I want to waft.
I gotta say, heated seats are magic on a bad back.
Driving a crap box where you never quite know if you’ll make it home. Not so terrible it’s a safety hazard to me or others, but it’s just rough enough it could be an adventure. After driving newer cars the past ten years (nothing older then 5 years old and owned new by me), getting a 77 K5 on 40 inch tires and commuting to work on sunny days made the commute fun again.
VW-based kit cars from back when there were ample VW donors. Even as a teen, I understood the Lazer 917 was a poor impression of a great car, I just thought that, if I built it just so, it’d somehow become actually good, in all its brown metalflake majesty
I so wanted to build one of these as well.
I would so rock an Aztex 7.
Yes ha ha YES!!!
I want a Lazer 917 so bad, but I have no guilt about this.
Acceleration. All the directions. Not just a lot, but getting it right. I get a guilty thrill out of completely standing on the ABS at the last possible moment and stopping with the front plate less than an inch from the stop line.
Fenderside 1/2 ton pickups. Why did they fall out of favor? They look sporty and the little step between the cab and the rear fender was handy as heck.
Chrysler LHS was a guilty large car pleasure. PT Cruiser – miserable gas mileage, but amazingly versatile and comfortable…and I liked the retro style. Chrysler minivans, also super versatile, from comfortable mile-eating people mover to pickup truck utility. Hybrids were a surprisingly fun drive, turning me on to mild hypermiling, turning drives into a video game going for maximum MPG (99.9 on a leisurely grocery store run in the Fusion Hybrid) or max miles/days out of a tankful (870 miles / 1+ months in the PacHy). All guilty pleasures that confound me as well as my friends who know me as ‘the car guy’.