Good morning! I’m on the road again, on the final leg of our big cross-country move. No trailer this time; we’re riding in comfort in my dad’s old Chrysler 300, a sleek V8-powered cruise missile that absolutely gobbles up the miles. But we do have passengers: our three black cats named Mystery, Creepy, and Spooky. Since I’m doing the driving on this run, my wife Erika chose today’s cars – one from our starting point in Portland, and one from where we have stopped for the night.
So yes, one more car from Portland after all. Friday’s choices represented the two cars I most associate with our now-former home: One that represents the scruffy charm of the city as it was, and one that has infested every parking lot like an invasive weed. And naturally, you all picked the wrong one. But that’s all right; I just present ’em. You choose the winners.
I used to describe Portland traffic with just five words: “There’s always some f–ing Subaru.” Whether it’s merging at 45 MPH, taking six tries to parallel park, or tailgating you when there’s an empty lane next to you, chances are if a car is causing trouble in traffic, it’s powered by the beauty of all-wheel-drive. But like I said, it’s your choice.
I’m going to reveal a tiny bit of inside baseball about this column: It is as typo-free as it is due to the keen eye of my darling wife, Erika. She proofreads every edition to make certain I haven’t done something stupid. (The factual errors you can still blame on me; fact-checking isn’t in her repertoire.) But she isn’t always enthusiastic about the vehicles I choose, so she offered to pick the cars while we’re making this final cross-country trek. I don’t know if this was intentional or coincidental, but she chose two GM vehicles from the same year, offered for the same price. But that’s about all they have in common. Let’s take a look.
1996 GMC Yukon – $1,800
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7-liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, part-time 4WD
Location: Gresham, OR
Odometer reading: 256,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Obviously I can’t find fault with this choice. A GMT400-based Yukon? All the best bits of my truck and her truck all rolled into one? Hell yes. Strong, capable, comfortable, and reliable, these trucks are legends for a reason. They’re gas guzzlers, sure, but when it comes to bargain-basement transportation, there are worse sins.
Halfway through its run, the GMT400 platform got a massive facelift, with softened lines outside and a completely new interior. It’s much more car-like and luxurious than the hard square dash of the earlier versions. It’s still cheap GM plastic, but the seats are comfy, and the plastic stuff is more durable than it feels. At more than a quarter-million miles, this one looks halfway decent, but I’m guessing there are a few things that don’t work. But hey – eighteen hundred bucks.
It’s powered by the ubiquitous 350 small-block V8, in its final Vortec version, along with the standard-issue 4L60-E automatic. It also has the old-school manually-shifted transfer case, so putting it in 4WD is a nice satisfying lever-pull instead of a boring old button. It runs and drives well, according to the seller, and does great in the snow. (I can vouch for this; both our 4WD GM trucks are beasts when the weather turns bad.)
Tahoes, Yukons, and Suburbans used to be available with two different tailgate configurations (might still be, actually): the standard hatchback, with separately-openable glass, or barn doors. You don’t see many short-wheelbase Yukons/Tahoes with barn doors. The verdict is out on which one is the more practical option, but personally I like the barn doors. It looks like it would be easier to load, and there are no hold-open struts to wear out.
1996 Chevrolet Camaro – $1,800
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Nampa, ID
Odometer reading: 168,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives, but might need a little work
I know why she picked this one: It’s purple. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Neither one of us is a huge fan of the fourth-generation “fat” Camaro, but they’re currently the cheap ones, especially the base model like this. This one is at least in the right age range, new enough to have the 3800 V6 instead of the old 3.4, but old enough to have the square headlights. Too bad it’s an automatic, but you can’t have everything.
The base-model Camaro and Firebird were all about cheap fun and looking cool without spending a lot on gas or insurance. As such, they’re built to a price, and it shows, especially in the interior. But like the Yukon, the plastic feels flimsier than it is. This one looks generally all right, but I bet the dashboard under that toupee is as cracked as desert hardpan.
Outside, the clearcoat is rapidly fleeing the scene, and the hubcaps are long gone. It looks all right with plain black steelies, I guess. And for the price, you can’t complain, I suppose. It doesn’t look banged-up, and Idaho isn’t known for rusty cars.
The seller says it runs and drives, but doesn’t elaborate. The air conditioning is broken, but in this price range that’s not uncommon. Strangely, they say the alternator pulley will need replacing “eventually.” I don’t get that; a pulley is pretty simple. It’s either straight, so the belt tracks straight and true on it, or it’s bent and chews up the belt. And the pulley on an alternator is usually the smallest one in the whole setup. How did they damage that one? Unless they mean the tensioner is going bad?
Beat-up old GM cars like these are all over the classifieds. Usually they’re pretty good deals, but you have to be willing to fix a few things, put up with some scruffiness, and have the right attitude – which is “don’t laugh; it’s paid for.” Which one of these old warriors is worth it to you?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Regardless of the miles, that is one of the nicer GMT400s I have seen for sale recently (not counting the garage queen ones that sell on bringatrailer). That one is the obvious choice if you want an actual car to use.
The camaro would be a decent lemons candidate.
Regardless of the miles, that is one of the nicer GMT400s I have seen for sale recently (not counting the garage queen ones that sell on bringatrailer). That one is the obvious choice if you want an actual car to use.
The camaro would be a decent lemons candidate.
It’s not that I’m mesmerized by the barn doors of the Yukon, but that Camaro is beat. A little more dough & patience, and I’m sure you could get a better starter. If the Yukon is legit, it’s a deal.
It’s not that I’m mesmerized by the barn doors of the Yukon, but that Camaro is beat. A little more dough & patience, and I’m sure you could get a better starter. If the Yukon is legit, it’s a deal.
Dude. If that Yukon were in my neighbourhood, it would already be in my driveway. My wife would be pissed at first, but then would see the versatility and reliability of one of the greatest vehicles ever built.
Dude. If that Yukon were in my neighbourhood, it would already be in my driveway. My wife would be pissed at first, but then would see the versatility and reliability of one of the greatest vehicles ever built.
The Yukon.
I don’t have any use for a big ass gas-guzzler, but at least I wouldn’t look like an conspicuous meth dealier/use while driving it.
The Yukon.
I don’t have any use for a big ass gas-guzzler, but at least I wouldn’t look like an conspicuous meth dealier/use while driving it.
duh
duh
Oh man, I’ve owned both of these, so I’m going Yukon. I have owned several 4th gen F-bodies, including a Z28 in that color, and while I liked them, the white barn door-equipped Tahoe I had was far more useful. If I still lived in the PNW, I would seriously be on my way to pick up that Yukon now.
Oh man, I’ve owned both of these, so I’m going Yukon. I have owned several 4th gen F-bodies, including a Z28 in that color, and while I liked them, the white barn door-equipped Tahoe I had was far more useful. If I still lived in the PNW, I would seriously be on my way to pick up that Yukon now.
Barn doors…auto win
Barn doors…auto win
The Yukon wins by default. It has the barn doors, which are fucking awesome!
The Camaro doesn’t even have T-Tops 🙁
The Yukon wins by default. It has the barn doors, which are fucking awesome!
The Camaro doesn’t even have T-Tops 🙁
If I had the money, the time, and the skill a F Body Camaro or Firebird is what I would want. That thing looks burnt to a crisp and it has the V6 so no to that though. Yukon all the way.
If I had the money, the time, and the skill a F Body Camaro or Firebird is what I would want. That thing looks burnt to a crisp and it has the V6 so no to that though. Yukon all the way.
I already have a 276k mile 99 Tahoe – with barn doors! – in decent condition like that one, but there’s no such thing as too many GMT 400s. The V6 in the Camaro would leave me wanting more personally, and there’s already two LS Camaros in the stable.
I already have a 276k mile 99 Tahoe – with barn doors! – in decent condition like that one, but there’s no such thing as too many GMT 400s. The V6 in the Camaro would leave me wanting more personally, and there’s already two LS Camaros in the stable.
I never, ever choose the truck, but that is just a stunning clean vehicle for 256k miles, and I do dig the barn doors.
Summer of ’01 I had a rental Camaro because some jag t-boned my brand new Jetta on the night of my wedding party (I wasn’t driving, my pal/bartender was) and it took all summer to fix it (I think if the car had been a year older, it would’ve been totaled). Anyway, that thing was fun, but only because of the droptop. With the automatic and a non-hellacious engine, it was less fun as a driver than the Jetta. So no, this beat-up hardtop isn’t getting my vote. I do dig the color.
I never, ever choose the truck, but that is just a stunning clean vehicle for 256k miles, and I do dig the barn doors.
Summer of ’01 I had a rental Camaro because some jag t-boned my brand new Jetta on the night of my wedding party (I wasn’t driving, my pal/bartender was) and it took all summer to fix it (I think if the car had been a year older, it would’ve been totaled). Anyway, that thing was fun, but only because of the droptop. With the automatic and a non-hellacious engine, it was less fun as a driver than the Jetta. So no, this beat-up hardtop isn’t getting my vote. I do dig the color.
The price of the Yukon is suspiciously low given the condition and 4wd. For this price, I would expect substantial rust and mechanical issues. I’ve seen beat up RWD Yukons with higher price tags.
I’m not quite calling BS on the Yukon, but I’m not convinced this is real. If this vehicle is accurately described it is one of the best deals I have seen on Shitbox Showdown. Obviously, I’m voting for it.
Yeah… the more I read on this, the more it sounds like the “$2000 Accord” scammer I dealt with when my last car finally died and I needed a way to get to work.
High mileage example of a model popular for being a cockroach of a car, but no signs of neglect or wear for those miles? (No rust in a snowy state) Pictures taken not in a personal space but on a public road? All very similiar to my scammer. Very sus.
My usual scam spotting efforts didn’t find anything (VIN search, reverse image search, and looking for similar vehicles for sale to see if these images came from a different ad). It is possible someone found this thing unlocked and took photos of it, but that doesn’t account for the photo of the truck parked in snow.
The one thing I found suspicious was the only contact information appears to be a Canadian phone number. Not evidence of a scam, but that strikes me as unusual for a truck that appears to have been in Oregon for some time (I found this vehicle in a google street view image dated 2022); my understanding is keeping a Canadian phone number long-term in the US can be impractical. I also find it odd that a truck everyone agrees is an excellent deal is still for sale 10 days later.
I was suspicious enough to waste half an hour trying to prove it is a scam, but I think it is probably someone who is not aware their vehicle should sell for more than $1800. It also could have obvious mechanical defects the ad didn’t disclose; I’m not sure why sellers do that, but they do.
The price of the Yukon is suspiciously low given the condition and 4wd. For this price, I would expect substantial rust and mechanical issues. I’ve seen beat up RWD Yukons with higher price tags.
I’m not quite calling BS on the Yukon, but I’m not convinced this is real. If this vehicle is accurately described it is one of the best deals I have seen on Shitbox Showdown. Obviously, I’m voting for it.
Yeah… the more I read on this, the more it sounds like the “$2000 Accord” scammer I dealt with when my last car finally died and I needed a way to get to work.
High mileage example of a model popular for being a cockroach of a car, but no signs of neglect or wear for those miles? (No rust in a snowy state) Pictures taken not in a personal space but on a public road? All very similiar to my scammer. Very sus.
My usual scam spotting efforts didn’t find anything (VIN search, reverse image search, and looking for similar vehicles for sale to see if these images came from a different ad). It is possible someone found this thing unlocked and took photos of it, but that doesn’t account for the photo of the truck parked in snow.
The one thing I found suspicious was the only contact information appears to be a Canadian phone number. Not evidence of a scam, but that strikes me as unusual for a truck that appears to have been in Oregon for some time (I found this vehicle in a google street view image dated 2022); my understanding is keeping a Canadian phone number long-term in the US can be impractical. I also find it odd that a truck everyone agrees is an excellent deal is still for sale 10 days later.
I was suspicious enough to waste half an hour trying to prove it is a scam, but I think it is probably someone who is not aware their vehicle should sell for more than $1800. It also could have obvious mechanical defects the ad didn’t disclose; I’m not sure why sellers do that, but they do.
That Yukon is almost too good to be true. It’d be listed for 5k around here (at least), especially in that sort of condition.
The Camaro is rough, but it probably would have fared better against literally anything else. 1800$ isn’t bad but… did you see the Yukon? It never stood a chance.