If you’re wondering, that’s a Volkswagen SP2 in the top shot. Developed for the Brazilian market and sold from 1972 to 1976, it is one hot-looking machine. Just beautiful! As for performance … ehhh, that’s a different story. As an early-70s VW design, you’re getting an air-cooled 1,700CC flat-four producing about 65 horsepower. Not awesome. According to the SP2’s Wikipedia page, Brazilian car enthusiasts of the era joked the SP stood for “Sem Potência,” Portuguese for “without power.” Needless to say, we’d still love to have an SP2. Not to mention Volkswagen’s much better known sports-car-styled offering, the Karmann Ghia …
Volkswagen famously winked at the Karmann Ghia’s mix of racy, European sports car styling and unaltered Beetle mechanicals with a confession that it “can’t do much at the Sebring road races,” and was unabashed in pointing out the Ghia had the “same engine, same chassis, same transmission,” as the Beetle. Was anyone turned off? Hardly: the Karmann Ghia was in the VW lineup for nearly twenty years (1955-1974), and the final production number came in at 445,000. That’s a whole lot of sales on Monday despite absolutely no racing on Sunday.
Whereas the Karmann Ghia looked fast, was actually slow, but was nonetheless thoroughly entertaining to drive (just ask OMD!), Chevrolet’s notorious spin on style over substance, the third-gen Camaro Sport Coupe, was an ineffably frustrating driving experience. It looked the business with genuinely exciting styling that broke sharply from the super-70s aesthetic, but with just 90 horsepower via its Iron Duke 2.5 liter pushrod engine, this Camaro was pig-slow and definitely un-fun. [Editor’s Note: I nominate the Saab Sonett or the Mazda RX-7 SA22C/FD. -DT].
As for a sheep-clothed wolf, consider the Lincoln MKZ 3.0T. The MKZ was basically a tarted-up Fusion, and with 240-horsepower I4 and 300-horsepower V6 EcoBoost engine options, it had pretty good scoot. Wolf-mode arrived with the 3.0T model, which delivered 400 horsepower via a twin-turbocharged V-6 with direct injection and variable valve timing. Not that you’d ever suspect it from the MKZ’s exterior–just look at that blandly attractive, unfussy sedan. You’d probably never even think to challenge an MKZ to a stoplight-to-stoplight race, let alone be worried about losing.
And so, the Autopian Asks:
Which Slow Cars Look the Fastest, And Vice-Versa?
To the comments!
One I didn’t see mentioned yet. Looks fast, but actually slow: DKW Monza. Somewhere between 38 and 50 hp on tap from the little 3 cylinder two-stroke. Top speed was only in the neighborhood of 87 – 96 mph. Looked like it should go a heck of a lot faster.
There was a civic si that was a hatchback that had a chassis that was built specifically for it (3rd generation 98-??) that to anyone that didn’t know looked like a regular economy car
Certainly the Buick Roadmaster with the LS motor should be mentioned (slow looking car that can scoot)
Likewise (trying to think like a normie expectations of what a fast alcat should look like… l) any of the modern expensive EVs are really fucking quick (Model S Plaid, (really any performance spec Tesla), Rivian RT1, Lucid, F150 Lightning, etc…)
While cat enthusiasts know they are quick I don’t think most normal people see a 4 door sedan or 4 door truck and think “I bet that thing is fast…”)
A Delorean. Very not fast. Requires an LS swap to be fast.
A Camry is surprisingly fast.
Buick Grand National GNX: proof that with enough power you can make a brick fly.
Those 80’s G bodies were big, wallowy, underpowered, slow pigs for the most part. I drove a 82 Regal with the super classy landau top and a 265ci V8 for many years. I loved it, but it was s-l-o-w. Sure, some styling elements here and there among the G variants were interesting but most of them just suggested sportiness rather than actually looking sporty. Mostly they looked big and boxy and as slow as they actually were. But then there’s the Grand National line. They didn’t look that much different to the general public from stock Regals. They were one of those IYKYK things. Specifically, the GNX was the stuff, with numbers still respectable even to this day. From Wikipedia:
Good call, and I’m surprised it hadn’t been mentioned. The blackout look + cool wheels gave the game away a little (as you reference), but overall, a boxy ’80s personal luxury coupe that was actually a dragstrip demon.
Living here in Brazil for 30 years I’ve seen quite a few of these SP2 beauties. They scream out for a subaru boxer conversion. No many of them left here now because the good ones are exported to Europeans willing to pay a fortune for them and with the Brazilian Real at 5:1 to the US dollar, there is a fat profit to be made selling them to OS enthusiasts.
Any current Minivan. Looks slow. Actually isn’t.
Exactly what I keep telling my wife. She tells me I am sick in the head. That our kid is grown and we never had a minivan, why would we want one now? To that I say, it has far more sport and utilities than a supposed SUV, more comfort than most mid luxury vehicles and as much power as many sports vehicles.
“we never had a minivan, why would we want one now?”
Just tell her “there’s so much room for activities“.
I mentioned this the other day in the cargo van discussion. The Isuzu NPR (cabover truck). With a GM 6.6 gas V-8 in it, it’ll MOVE. We usually build them with a 16 foot box. It’s surprisingly quick when empty. I’ve surprised many cars at stoplights who thought they could get in front of me! Even quicker as a bare cab and chassis, but it’s hard to not light up the duals with no weight on the rear!
They also sound incredible. There’s one around that delivers to the on-campus shops and the driver hopped in and started it; I was expecting to hear the usual Isuzu diesel clatter but instead Corvette (well, Suburban, but same idea) noises came out.
I had a 2018 Volvo S60 T6 R Design with the Polestar software upgrade. 306hp from a 2 liter AWD with supercharger on low end and turbocharger on the top end. It would do mid 5’s all day long. It had a tiny spoiler on the back and only the wheels would give it away low profile 19″. It had every option on it from the factor in blue. I would get the same comment Looks like a safe car. Best I could get from it was 135 mph (rev limited).
A car that looked faster than it went 1972 Pontiac Ventura II with the 307. A nicer looking Nova with the shoulder belt that came down from the ceiling clips. The 307 had the plastic coated timing chain, which failed, bending almost every pushrod when it went. Also had the crummy leaf springs which had long since given up in the rear. The best part was the tape deck I put in.
Similarly I have the S60 T8 Recharge, so supercharged, turbocharged, and hybrid. Run mid 4s all day but will still cruise along at 75-80 under battery power. Looks pretty much the same as the base S60.
Luxury cars. A first gen Lexus LS400 could break 150mph. Mid 60s Cadillacs were usually faster than the famously fast muscle cars of the time.
Looks Fast, but Slow: Saab Sonnett with 65HP In it’s biggest kit and 0-60 in like 13sec. Opel GT is another example someone else mentioned.
Looks slow, but Fast: Ford Transit with the 3.5 EcoBoost. 310+HP; 0-60 around 6.8sec – no one would suspect these numbers from the plumber or hotel shuttle.
Will agree, an unloaded Transit EcoBoost Cargo van is FAR quicker than it has any right to be.
I have had more than one airport shuttle ride where I was amazed at the speed of a Transit.
Fast looking but slow: Any N/A MR2 (any gen).
Since designing cars to look cute/friendly has seemingly become illegal, most cars look more potent than they really are. Take the modern versions of the Nissan Sentra and Toyota Corolla Hatchback. From a design standpoint, you could make assumptions about performance that you never would in 1990.
Slow fast-looking car: Puma GT in Brazil (to be fair, they were based on the beetle…but they were sold fully assembled and branded and NOT as kit cars, so I think it qualifies).
Fast slow-looking car: 2002-04 Infiniti M45 with the 340hp v8
I thought the Puma GT looked much better than the similar concept SP2.
Fast looking but slow – ’83 Mercury Capri 5.0
Slow looking but fast – ’12 Buick Regal GS
Looks slow goes fast has to be the 1980s Turbo Buicks in the non-GN trim, turbo V6, Grandpa wire wheels, powder blue paint, and velour top. They were some of the fastest 0-60 quarter mile cars for a long time after 1987.
My ‘84 Fiero got a lot of attention at stoplights. It lost to a Ford Tempo – downhill.
My parent’s Explorer ST is silly. Why does that vehicle exist?
Bonus: Chevy Express 2500 cargo van with a 6.0 has surprised a few people here and there. “Ohhh, I’m just gonna pass this slow-ass looking van. Or not!”
Well, in all fairness, wouldn’t the Tempo have been racing downhill too?
Is fast, looks slow: 1982-1993 Bristol Beaufighter – turbo 5.9L V8, 400 bhp, 0-60 in 5.9 seconds, looks like a brick with a basket handle.
Hmmm… Looks fast, is slow: ’96 Saturn SC2 automatic with the A/C on. Looks slow went like stink: Mercedes 450SL 6.9
For some oddballs the Clan Crusader and Ginetta G15 were swoopy and sporty and powered by a Hillman Imp engine. Now these were designed by Coventry Climax they were only 875cc and 40-50 hp.
Also the Matra Bagheera use Simca 1100 running gear which was rather gutless. The ultimate is probably the Panhard Dyna which was a swoopy looking spaceship of car powered by a 600cc flat twin.
My parents had both of these – a Clan and a Ginetta!
My Mum used to drive them before I was born, and I believe crashed at least one of them.
My Dad also had an actual Hilman Imp prior to that, which he taught her to drive in.
Looks fast but really slow – DMC-12 and most former muscle cars built after the emissions crackdown in the early 70s robbed all their power.
Looks slow but actually fast – several Cadillacs from the past decade. I used to have a 2012 CTS-V wagon that was much faster than anyone would’ve guessed and I currently have a 2018 XTS Vsport that just looks like your grandpa’s sedan.
I daily drive a Cadillac ELR. Most people think it’s the CTS coupe. It’s just a fat Chevy Volt. It looks fast-ish but my SO’s Wrangler is quicker. I guess my garage is fast looking Caddy is slow, Slow looking Jeep does a 5 second 0-60.
The first BMW Z3 with the monster 1.8L 4c that did a whopping 0-60 in the mid 8s. Wouldn’t be so bad if not for the Bond movie where it looked to be superfast.
This is true. Though in fairness, we only see Bond driving it down a country road a little.
Commercial vans are stupid fast and nobody ever expects them to be. You got a beefy frame with RWD and a massive V8 if not a V10 under the hood/doghouse, and a mostly empty lightweight body when not carrying anything. My dad used to beat Mustangs in drag races with an old work van much to the disappointment of the Mustang driver.
Speaking of Mustangs, a lot of them are slower than you’d think. It’s mostly forgotten now that Mustangs used to be widely considered fashion accessories. I’m not talking Malaise stuff either, don’t forget the Mustang was based on the Falcon and was essentially considered a more fashionable and attractive coupe version of the Falcon, which just so happened to have a few sporty engine options if you wanted that. Many of them came with thrifty reliable straight six engines and automatics, which is what many of the high-dollar V8 restomods you see started as.
I can attest to the quick van, circa 1990 the shop van was an Econoline 350 window van with 5.8 HO V8, a C6 automatic and a 4.10 rear. Running light you could beat a 305 Camaro and you could also tow 10,000 lbs.
To be fair, the pickup versions of said vans are mechanically identical and pretty close to the same weight.
Interesting! I had a ’97 conversion Econoline for a while with the 4.6l V8 and while it certainly had adequate power, it was still a 10-11 second 0-60. My siblings had driven a 5.4l V8 E-150 for a while and they said it was pretty quick.
I imagine the 6.8l V10 would be fun when unladen.
The Fusion that the MKZ is based on has it’s own hot version with the 2.7 twin turbo v6 and active suspension. I think the HP is 350
Yes the Fusion Sport, however, given the badge and sporty extras it was meant to look and be faster than the base models. 325HP and AWD to aid putting the extra power down.
For everyone saying the Prowler is slow, you’re wrong and you don’t know what you’re talking about. But don’t take my word for it, just watch this Motorweek review of a 1999 model… and the 5.7 second 0-60 run they did and a quarter mile run in the low 14 second range they described as ‘fast’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELWkSu368N0
I think the real problem with the Prowler’s performance was the torque delivery. The looks promise a low-rpm, put-you-in-the-backseat punch right off the line that the car didn’t really provide.
Sure, it was fast enough as the rpms climbed…but road-racer-ish high-rpm performance wasn’t really what people wanted in a car like this.
So you’re saying they should have made a diesel version 🙂
Pretty much just pick anything that looked sporty in the 70s.
You had the Saab Sonett, as racy looking as anything, with all of 75 HP, Fiat X1/9 about the same or less HP depending on year, and the Opel GT looking like a mini Vette, the Lancia Scorpion/Monte Carlo and Porsche 914. Also all the American cars where the performance packages went from hot rodded engines in the 60s with 300 plus hp to wheel and stripe packages and 150 HP or so out of a V8 by the mid seventies.
“75 HP, Fiat X1/9 about the same or less HP depending on year”
Only about 2000 lbs though. That helped. I had one, it was a lot of frugal fun.
Ah what could be with a modern Abarth 1.4T, 6MT drive train swap though…