There was no mystery this week about what would end up as Tales from the Slack, although Jason shared a video of a wound being drained that was so awful I contemplated seeing if I could get y’all to pay us not to show you. You do pay us, so let’s just assume this is the transaction that occurred.
I may never be able to eat a Bratwurst again, let’s just leave it at that.
Nope, props to Geoff Buchholz for noticing that we changed the headline of my 911 Carrera T review a bunch of times. I know we changed it at least three times in 15 minutes, but there may have been a fourth now that I review the notes.
The initial one, if you were curious, was:
The Porsche 911 T Is A Gimmick
David didn’t like this headline because he thinks it implied I didn’t like the car when, if you read the review, clearly I did. He viewed it as clickbaity whereas I viewed it as accurate.
Here’s where it starts to get fun. I don’t think a headline has to be a thesis statement or a conclusion. I think it can, if you’re smart enough not to abuse it, be a little bit of a thoughtful provocation. David strongly disagreed.
This actually DOES exist and, damn, next time we’re in Vegas we’re going.
Is giving this post the headline The Porsche 911 Carrera T A Gimmick itself a gimmick?
Hahah, dammit Peter. Got us.
I mean. Maybe it is? I don’t know. This is all to say that we’re not a content farm. I spent half of Sunday writing it and half of Monday morning debating it.
Usually, I agree with Matt but this time I side with David. Gimick has an inherently negative connotation and I’m not sure more *affordable* versions of performance cars that still have the “go fast” bits counts as one. However, looping in the Cybertruck did feel clickbaity but hey, I’m not one to argue with getting web traffic.
My version probably leans more crass but I like, “The 2023 Porsche 911 T is a stripper that steals your heart and saves you money”.
Also, I am now beyond elated that there’s a Michelin buffet somewhere in the continental U.S.
Wait, there’s a Michelin starred buffet somewhere?
My first reaction to that was, “surely one of the absurd ones in Vegas qualifies.” Lo and behold!
Yeeeeeah…I think the gimmick headline was less gimmicky. This review wasn’t about the Cybertruck! Also, that drag race was butt anyway. Redo it with the Taycan Turbo S, you cowards. But I digress. The T-trim is a perfect gimmick playing straight to parsh fans. I am a parsh fan. I’m used to being called every name under the sun. Roast my favorite brand. Roast me.
Probably worked for search, though. A classic case of “don’t hate the player, hate the game.”
Agreed, the Gimmick headline was more interesting, and saying “oh that’s clickbait” then pivoting to a Cybertruck headline was a hilarious absence of self-awareness.
I would’ve workshopped the Gimmick headline before dumping it entirely; “…a Gimmick – a Beautiful, Wonderful Gimmick”, or some other adjective fuckery.
I’d suggest some restraint with the oxymoronic headlines. Simpler is better. Wax poetic in the sub-head.
Porsche 911T: Basic but Refined
Not the fastest, but this trim is arguably the most fun 911
The final headline referring to the Cybertruck was terrible, and a total gimmick.
There was a small bit about the drag race, but 90% was a review about the 911T; not what the headline indicated.
Well I spent 30 years in newspapers and will just note a few things.
1. You need to determine the goal. It is a trapped demographic are you trying to tease, entrance, amuse? Frankly IMHO it is best to question: Is the new 911T a Gimick or a serious buyers car?
2. Misleading headlines work. ONCE JUST ONCE and for the future no credibility.
3. Don’t get too fancy a basic headline is perfectly acceptable. Otherwise you get questionable headlines like This is a Holy Grail, that is a Holy Grail everything is a Holy Grail. This red Ford 150 1 billion made is a Holy Grail because it faded to pink.
4. If you write about the same thing cars, same models part of the car that you need an interesting headlines to get people to read the same story again well broaden your reach.
5. I headed up newspaper circulation departments all over the US. ONE way is not the answer. Try many things. Listen to your readers. But foremost have an idea and a direction. Be willing to try new things. With Jason out it is helpful to have all the different writers covering different columns. They are doing well.
I am not clicking on a headline that asks a question, and I’m sure I’m not alone
And I’m not clicking on a headline that mentions the GD Cybertruck unnecessarily. Which in an article about a Porsche 911, it completely is.
Matt, this was definitely worth the wait. Thank you for lifting the curtain.
The Toyota Camry smoked the Parsh 911 T in a drag race, but the 911 is still more fun.
Yeah but the Camry had RuPaul in its corner the 911 only had the Wayans brothers.
This Headline Referring To The Cybertruck Even Though It’s For A Porsche Review Is A Gimmick
loooool
As a strong proponent of taking a comedic bit to extremes, some may say too far, I can’t help but think this post would be so much better if you changed its headline every five minutes with reckless abandon.
Why I’d Rather Live Off Saltine Crackers As My Only Source Of Sustenance Than Re-write That Old Headline One More Time: Tales From The Slack
How Many Times Can David Tracy be Completely Wrong About A Subject Before We Start Ignoring His Input:
Tales From The Slack
You Click-baited what now?
Tales From The Slack.
How about a fill on the blank headline? The 911T is a ______ that you will love to _______. Kind of like that car game and have paying membership fill in the most interesting headlines? Headline to be determined/ voted in. Submit your Headlines winner gets a pictureof my big hairy ass on a t-shirt. Membership involvement is key.
Why Is Stef Now Suggesting Poop Jokes on Discord?: Autopian Investigates
I might have gone with a Miesian “Porsche 911T: Less is More Fun”, but for various reasons I don’t write for a living, except for a few market reports every quarter back when I had a job. And my weight is peaking while my fun quotient has qollapsed, so I wouldn’t trust my judgment.
Anybody remember when Porsche had a model called “Normal”?
Perhaps the Carrera T captures the spirit of the Normal, 60+ years later.
Fuck the Cybertruck.
I regret to inform you that Wing Lei only does its dim sum brunch buffet between Christmas and New Year’s or, more regularly, during Chinese New Year. So you don’t have a ton of time to plan that Vegas Michelin Star Buffet trip.
Damn… gotta start reconditioning the battery in the leaf.
I’m at the point where the word “Cybertruck” makes my eyes roll so far back in my head that it interferes with my ability to read for the rest of the day. I’d rather read about gimmicks, whether they be good ones or bad.
My eyeballs roll so far back in my head I can see what I’m thinking.
Same. If I see “cybertruck” in an article headline now, I just skip it.
I DO NOT take your titles seriously and I DO read all the Hardibros because they’re always good. Pretty sure I read the Parsh article under the “gimmick “ title and I was neither confused nor offended.
I see parshticle, I click.
Just so you know, as someone that works in finance to support their racing hobby, I love the morning dumps you do. It’s rare to see an analysis of the follow on effects from what most outlets would think of as a one-off transient event.
Even though I’ve been planning to do it for a while, it was one of your morning dump articles that got me to go grab my wallet and type in my digits…
I have to say though I agree with David, I probably wouldn’t have opened that link to read later when I get time if you stuck with the gimmick headline. (Yesterday was very busy at work)
Thank you! This means a lot.
Good idea here. One a week decide a great article post a paragraph and required membership to read the rest.
“I may never be able to eat a Bratwurst again, let’s just leave it at that.”
I may never get the imagery that implied out of my head. Could the video actually be any worse?
It’s the wurst?
Years ago I used to do non-emergency medical transportation and the slurping sound that a wound vacuum makes is something I’ll remember forever.
Yes, it can be worse.
YIPES!
Love the overthink on this!
Also, I’m on the gimmick = bad train. Sorry Matt.
Oh, and Thank You for not showing the draining. One cup anyone?
I also thought it was going to be a bad review when I saw the gimmick headline.
I’m fairly certain there is no context in which calling something a “gimmick” would be considered positive. The word itself is a pejorative, indicating the target has no value, and wrapping other words around it doesn’t really remove the negativity. (Lessen it? Yes, but it’s still there.)
I’m wondering if the the original idea was to call the 911 T a “one-trick pony”. If we created a Venn diagram of all the various strains of 911, there would be significant overlap, potentially giving the impression the writer believes a 911 is a 911 is a 911 but is very much okay with that.
“The 911 is a one-trick pony, but it’s a really, really good trick.”
I’m also a little surprised that no one compared the 911 T to Malibu Stacy getting a new hat.
I’m with you on this. DT was right, and using the word “gimmick” does not convey anything positive in the headline, so while I may not call it straight click bait, it does seem disingenuous.
This gimmick is a gimmick. Double negative makes a positive.
We are comparing the CT to the 911 T because trucks can be compared to cars if all we are doing is comparing things.
Hard disagree. As a computer nerd, RGB blinky lights are a gimmick but they are also definitely a selling point.
Car graphics packages are gimmicks but they aren’t negatives.
Forgot tormenting the same thing with using HACK. This hack is great to use if your hungry. Hack is grab a snack. For God’s sake can we retire the term hack as it is a new term for a suggestion for morons with no common sense. This hack to retire with more money. Take a portion of your pay and invest it.
I’m just glad that DT wasn’t an editor at Esquire when Gay Talese published “Frank Sinatra has a Cold”, which is arguably the best article ever written about Sinatra (https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a638/frank-sinatra-has-a-cold-gay-talese/)
I think the original title was much better and I would have immediately clicked on it. As it was, it took me a few days to work up enough interest in the story to click on the final headline. And I only read it because I had read everything else so it was more like “sigh, I guess I’ll read this now.”
P.S. – THANK YOU for not showing Torch’s wound-draining video. I might have considered canceling my membership (LOL). How’s Torch doing, BTW? I hope he’s getting plenty of rest but with his personality, I know he’s gotta be champing at the bit to get back to work.
He’s on the mend and it’ll take all our power to restrain him from writing soon.
It could not be worse than our bartender/nursing student showing wounds she had to deal with while interning. God it would drive you to drink.
Sounds like one weird trick to drum up bar drink sales (it’s genius)…
I don’t know if I’d want to even think about liquid after looking at bodily liquids like that.
Yeah, I think seeing it with the original headline first is the only reason I clicked in. I’m certainly not in the market for a Porsche, but I am interested in finding out about a Porsche gimmick.
I feel the same way. Also, forgot to say – I really enjoyed the article!
Now if I click on the same article with the different headline are you getting additional click credit? Then I am against it.
Lukewarm take: I think anything tying it to the Cybertruck is arguably more clickbaity than anything about a gimmick. The Porsche 911 T Is A Gimmick could have been changed to The Gimmick of the 911 T Pays Off (or The 911 T is a Gimmick That Pays Off, to get the car earlier in the headline). Or even just The Porsche 911 T is a Fun Gimmick. It clearly offers up the article as a positive while leaning into the gimmick aspect.
That said, it was a good article and worth reading.
Ooh, I like that angle.